Ep. 21 Your minds addiction to negative and anxious thoughts [self-reflection]

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Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora and life coach and companion on

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this beautiful journey called life. I'm excited to connect

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with you, I'm excited to spend some time with you. I hope you

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feel good. I hope you feel safe and loved and supported, seen

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and heard. And if you're not feeling good, right now, if

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you're feeling a little bit off, and secure, uncertain, stuck

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lost. I hope my podcast here can bring you some values some

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clarity, and inspire you to love yourself more than ever, I want

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to create a space for you where you can rest and recharge your

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batteries where you can be yourself when you can, where you

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can express yourself and feel understood. And also very

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excited to announce that I have a physical location in the

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forest, where we can meet in person for coaching or

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relaxation classes. Or we can also meet over zoom if you're

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living a little bit farther apart. And I'd love to hear your

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story. I'd love to hear what's going on in your life, what's

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bugging you? What's going well, and find out how I can support

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you to become your strongest most resilient version. I'm

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sitting outdoors today, lots of bees, lots of wolves, lots of

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flies that you might be hearing in the background. And maybe you

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can hear or feel that I have the sun warming up my back. It feels

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so good. I have my face in the shade and my back in the sun and

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it just feels so amazing. I hope you're gonna experience that

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someday soon, if not today. All right, let's dive into today's

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episode. Today I want to talk about the way your brain, your

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mind loves to be addicted to anxious and negative thinking.

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And the reason why the mind is addicted to negative thinking,

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and anxious thinking is that at some point in your life, it has

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learned and when I say it, I mean the mind or your ego, that

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this world is not safe, that we can be hurt, we can feel

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disappointed, we can be rejected, we can be utterly

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scarred and wounded. And this world is not a safe place. And

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it can be circumstances or it can be specific people that have

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hurt you in the past. And so your mind remembers this pain

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and will try everything, everything, everything,

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everything at a high cost to protect you from future pain. So

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it will come up with anxious thoughts and negative thoughts.

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You know those thoughts of doubt and suspicion? Thoughts that

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yeah, you can trust this world you cannot trust people because

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it wants to protect you. Well imagine your mind your ego, like

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over protective parent or guardian. And they take care of

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you and tell you do you want to go outside and play in the

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garden? Well, I think you should stay inside because outside of

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this house. Outside of our gates, there is harm and threat

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waiting for you. And you keep you know wondering about the

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life beyond the gates of your house beyond or on the other

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side of the door, the entrance door and you keep asking hey

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today I want to do this today. I want to experience that and your

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guardian keeps saying no we shouldn't be doing this. Let's

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stay inside let's stay on the couch and maybe read a book or

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watch TV because this is a safe place to be this is a safe place

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where you will not get hurt. So I think you're getting you're

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getting my point here your mind acts like a guard In trying to

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protect you at the same time, keeping you in a very confined

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space, mind, space, emotional space, and space where it is

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very hard to connect with other people, new people, or to

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experience new things in life and to grow and to learn and to

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expand to love. So your mind keeps you in that small space of

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anxiety and negativity because it wants to protect you, because

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of a past pain, like wound disappointment. Now, if you can

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cut through this in the future, and learn to discern what is

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really a threat, and what is my, you know, default system, trying

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to protect me from but that might not need protection from

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any more, then you can live a life in self control in love,

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and openness and curiosity and engagement with the people and

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environment around you. So I think my message today is that

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you become a detective of your thoughts, and you no longer

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identify with your thoughts. And it's hard for me to say that

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there is good thoughts and bad thoughts, thoughts, because they

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all serve a purpose. But when it comes to anxious limiting

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beliefs in the future, I want you to question these thoughts

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first. So it can be thoughts of judgment, it can be, like all or

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nothing thoughts, like, always or never, right, this person

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always is late, this person never cleans up after

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themselves. This party I'm not going to attend, because it's

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always boring. When I go somewhere. I'm not going to go

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to the grocery store, because it always makes me anxious. Like,

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these thoughts are repetitive, and are annoying and are

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limiting. And I want you to dissect these thoughts in the

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future. And to question them as if it was, you know, an over

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overly, overly smothering parent or a friend who is always

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questioning things and always read when you come up with an

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idea. Oh, let's do this that Yeah, but no, I don't think so.

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And then they share their limit limiting beliefs. So to

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personify right to turn into a person, your negative thoughts,

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your anxious beliefs, and to really ask and wonder, really,

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is it always the case? Right? Is it always boring when you go to

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parties and gatherings? Are you always anxious when you go to

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the grocery store?

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Are all women. Scary and not worth of trust? Are all men

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cheaters. So it's very easy to identify these limiting beliefs

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and thoughts because they're usually very radical. And

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they're usually very one sided. And once you give them a little

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bit more attention, or dissect them question them, you will

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find out very quickly that no, it is not always the case. No,

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it is not never. And no, there is other angles to approach this

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scenario. Or when it comes to a person. We can ask questions

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before making assumptions and conclusions about a person with

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limiting beliefs and anxiety. We can ask questions, right? If

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you're about to date a new person, and you were very hurt.

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In the past, your mind will come up with some fabulous ideas on

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how to get rid of that person and why they are not

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trustworthy. Because you're putting yourself out there

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again, you're doing something brave, and your mind will try to

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keep you in a situation where you can't potentially get hurt

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again. But what that does if you follow it without questioning

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it, is that you close yourself up to new experiences and you're

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shutting yourself down. I'm in front of love, in front of

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goodness, goodness that could happen to you. So to discern and

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to question and to ask, and to maybe even write down all the

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stuff that comes up. And then when you look at the stuff that

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you're writing down to see all this is my heart speaking, this

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is me speaking from a place of trust, love, courage, curiosity

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and engagement. And then maybe you can read further. And then

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you can notice Oh, and this down here is my overly smothering ego

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and mind that drags everything under the dirt and sees only the

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negative only the bad, wants to be aggressive and assertive, and

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always feels as not enough. This is my herd in a child that steal

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things that are not lovable. And that way you can become the

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master of your thoughts. And no longer the victim of your

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erratic and negative thinking and conclusion making an

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assumption making it is so so important to allow space and

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time and silence to get behind your thinking. How do you

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process this world? How do you engage with people relate to

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people, and if you don't like what you see, if you constantly

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have an outcome, or scenarios that you really don't like, then

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you have to go down to the bottom. And notice your thinking

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patterns, especially the negative and the anxious ones,

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because those are the ones that keep you caged in. All right, my

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dear friend, this is the message of today. As always, I'm excited

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to receive feedback from you, or episode requests. And as I

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mentioned, at the beginning of the episode, I have a physical

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location now called the year experience. Check it out in the

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show notes, where I invite people who went through divorce

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and heartbreak and, you know, rough phases in their life to

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come on out and to work on themselves to liberate

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themselves from past pain, in order to step into the present

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and the future, with a confident and courageous heart. And, yeah,

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that is it for today. I'm sending you out into the rest of

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your day, beginning of the day, end of the day, with so much

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love, and I'm excited to connect with you very soon again. Take

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care. Bye bye