Ep.8 How to keep an open heart in a changing world

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No and

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welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm your host

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Aurora, life coach and companion on this beautiful journey called

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life. here from Mexico, the Baja, sharing some ocean sounds

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with you some really good vibes. Last time, I talked about the

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importance of keeping an open heart, and how keeping an open

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heart will make you feel less lonely, more connected to your

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environment, the people around you, even your decisions,

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because you will make decisions from a place of authenticity, a

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place that feels true, is true to yourself. And today, I want

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to talk about how you can keep an open heart. Because yeah,

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it's one thing to say. And it's important to have an open heart.

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But maybe you realize pretty quickly at least this is how it

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was for me that your heart isn't as open as you wish it could be.

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So when you look at your daily life, when you look at all the

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thoughts you have the people you interact with your job, your

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home, usually there's things coming up stuff coming up,

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people coming up with stuff that doesn't really either feel good,

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or you have opinions and judgments about something or

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someone. And it is those little things that help us to close our

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heart. Let me explain this through a couple of examples

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here. Let's say you get up in the morning, you didn't have a

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good night's sleep, you're struggling to feel motivated for

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the day. And the first message that you see when you open up

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your phone is a message from a relative about a task that you

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have failed to accomplished yesterday. And here goes your

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day. You had lower energy to begin with, all you needed to

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hear was was a sweet Good morning and a hot cup of coffee.

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And it is quite the opposite that you received when opening

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your phone. So your heart was a little bit closed already.

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Because you didn't have a good night's sleep for whatever

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reason, roaming thoughts or noise outside animals music from

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other people. And then something else comes and your heart gets

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even more closed off. And then you go to the grocery store and

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the grocery clerk doesn't make eye contact with you barely says

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hello. And there is another thing that gives you a reason to

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close up your heart. And so your day goes on. And by the end of

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the night, when your spouse comes home, sorry, by the end of

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the day. All you feel like doing is being shut down not

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communicating. And they might be in a very different place and

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very happy to see you and you just can't connect with them

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because your heart is closed. So all these little things that

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happened throughout our day are annoying, I get this. But what

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I'm learning right now is to change my judgment and

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resistance towards these things. These things that are annoying,

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these things that are unpleasant to either brushed them off,

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write them down and address them later. Or address them right

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away. If you know how to react, respond in a healthy way. And to

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always keep in mind and heart that you want to keep your heart

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open at all cost. And so this is what I invite you to do over the

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next couple of days is that whenever something comes up,

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that doesn't feel good, that is not an alignment with your

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opinions, your values, with what you think how should things

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should be. Take a moment, observe what is, feel and to

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your heart. And make sure that whatever you do, your heart

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stays open that those little things don't get to bother you

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to a point where you would shut down at the end of the day, or

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even midday, if it's enough stuff that accumulates to let go

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constantly. And I don't need to know you. On a deeper level, I

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know that all human beings tend to cling on to things, how

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things should be, how things should not be. And we can all

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let go a little bit more. And we can do that through conscious

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self talk, where we tell ourselves that things will fall

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into place right now. It's not awesome, we will take measures

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to change it. But we will do it from from a place of relaxation,

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and hard drive, so to say. So to learn to deal with discomfort

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and how things should be how things should not be from a

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place of compassion and forgiveness. And at the same

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time, knowing that if we do this, we also help ourselves to

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keep our heart open. Because when you close your heart, this

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is when people can reach you and help you. This is where you

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can't feel other people and you can all of a sudden feel

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extremely disconnected and in pain, because of disconnection.

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So constantly checking in with yourself, and letting go, what

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did upset you that you're still clinging on to that still has

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power over how you feel about yourself life and other people?

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And what can you let go. Maybe you're starting a business and

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you wish that people would support you more. And it's

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frustrating because they're not they're dealing with their own

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stuff. And you feel alone and unsupported and uninspired and

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you need others to give you an energy boost. Well, maybe have

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compassion with others, and know that they're all dealing with

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their own struggles, insecurities, and pains and are

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trying to make life for them. And of course, when you ask for

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help, they might be so involved in their thing that they can be

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there for you right now. But maybe in a month or two. So for

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you to keep the big picture in mind and not just your small

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opinions, assumptions. And, and, you know, limited beliefs. So to

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say how life should be, you can help yourself out in in easing

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the pain, and suffer less because you allow life to flow

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through you. You allow discomfort to go through you you

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don't try to fight it, you don't try to judge it. You allow it to

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be there for a moment and just see what it is and how you can

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deal with it. How you can start talking to a person who has hurt

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you in the past and you're still clinging on to the pain to

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resolve the pain or how you can make peace with them without

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contacting them. Which is possible to but to cling on to

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regret and the past and how things have been will not serve

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you it will just keep your heart closed

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and make it even more difficult for you to enjoy life in the

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present moment. And, and then the mind usually gets really,

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you know, frustrated or uncertain or indulgent with

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thoughts about the future, like how things should be in the

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future, how we want to feel in the future, the things we want

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to accomplish in the future. And if we get too narrow minded,

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because of closed heart, we will suffer tremendous

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disappointments, if we think that life is only a one way

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street. If we think there's only one lifestyle that is okay to

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live by, during your lifetime, you will get hurt, because

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change is inevitable. And if we all know that, I feel we should

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all also be okay with letting go more letting things flow more.

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And sometimes seeing obstacles as opportunities for things that

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are actually meant for us. I'm always surprised by people who

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make decisions who know themselves barely. And then the

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decision or the goals, so to save fails, and they get so

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upset. And a couple of months later, when I talked to them,

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and new opportunity has come. And it would have never happened

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if that first job, let's say or that first relationship or that

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first thing before the obstacle had taken place. And they've

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happy now and and say, oh my god, I'm so glad I didn't take

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that job. I'm so glad I didn't enter that relationship, because

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now I'm way happier than I could have been. Don't get me wrong,

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life can be pretty harsh, and surely at times, and through you

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tremendous pain and suffering in the way. But most of the time,

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when we don't get what we want. It wasn't meant for us, it

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wasn't the thing that we need, at a person that we need a

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situation that we need, it was something that we want it and

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couldn't get to and then just let it go. But our resistance to

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clinging on to a certain idea or a certain situation or person is

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what actually makes us suffer the most. It is your fear all

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the thoughts and all the what ifs and all the I don't want to

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that close you up and make you suffer. And it can be the little

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things, the very little things in a restaurant when you order

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something and the wrong dish comes out. Or it's a different

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version of what you wanted to order and then observe yourself

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how your mind will totally drain your energy just because the

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things are not like you wanted them you expected them to be. So

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keeping an open heart, keeping an open mind, knowing that

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change will always be part of life. And there is nothing you

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can do about it. Just like with taxes and death is extremely

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important. I think in the next episode, I want to talk about

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death and how in our society. Depth is something we fear,

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something that we reject and something that we don't want

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anything to do with. And here in Mexico, I'm learning that they

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approach it very differently. There is two days of the year

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dedicated to the death. And it is a November and it is two days

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where people celebrate the people that have passed on. And

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I think this is incredibly beautiful. Like if if I knew I

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could celebrate the people that I missed in my life that I lost

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to death that would have given me so much healing. And maybe we

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can learn from that and be open to that possibility. But let's

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see. Maybe I'll talk about something else. But yeah, maybe

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it is about deaths and how death is the teacher of all juicy

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things in life. All right. Um I'm gonna leave you with this,

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as always much love and respect for being on this journey of

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self discovery and healing and growth. I love connecting with

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you I love people who want more out of life than just you know,

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autopilot living. It's it's incredibly powerful to have this

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little podcast here and to connect with you from all over

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the world. So yeah, keep on shooting the messages and

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connecting with me because I love that and I'm excited to

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meet you if we haven't met yet. I'm gonna leave you with that.