Ep. 6 Taking things personal [personal development]

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Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

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your host Aurora, licensed life coach and companion on this

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beautiful journey called life. I hope you feel good, I hope you

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feel safe and loved and comfortable. If you do not feel

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good at the moment, I hope I can bring you value, I hope I can

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bring you comfort. And I hope I can bring you a little bit

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closer to yourself. Please be aware that I'm not a doctor, I'm

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not a professional. If you're struggling with mental health,

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if you're taking medication, don't make any adjustments based

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on what I say here. You need to seek out help from a

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professional if you are struggling with your health. I'm

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simply sharing from my experience and hope that by

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doing that I can make you feel less lonely. Today I want to

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talk about taking things personal. when life throws us a

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curveball, when we are shattered when we are disappointed by

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circumstances. When we feel hurt, when we are traumatized.

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By whatever came our way, we sometimes tend to fall into many

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depression. For some people, a big depression starts once

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something out of the norm happens. And what I've learned

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during the last four months of my life, is that when we do

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that, when we take things personal, we don't allow the

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circumstances around us and the people around us to support us

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and help us. Right. Like when something happens, it is really

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bad. But we tend to see then all of a sudden, everything is bad.

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Life is against us people are against us. The government is

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against us. And if we fall into that trap of victimhood, we at

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the same time, close ourselves off to finding very valuable

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support that is out there at all times, going through crisis,

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opening up about your struggle with people, about people to

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people however you say that in English, will surprise you most

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of the time, because you will then realize that people around

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you are way more compassionate than you thought they could be.

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I feel especially with strangers who never really met you. And

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you open up to them you speak to them. They have words for you,

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they have wisdom for you that can deeply alter your life and

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change the way you perceive life and that painful situation you

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are in right now. So, as counter intuitive, it may feel I want

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you to explore how much of a victim you have been in the past

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with painful situations. And how much of that are you still

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carrying around? And how much of that can you let go and trust

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that pain and suffering disappointment? traumatizing

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experiences are part of every person's life. My trauma, my

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pain is not more important than your pain and trauma. And my

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pain is not more valuable than your pain. It is all very

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subjective and cannot be taken personal even though it is very

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subjective. We all go through similar pain And the triggers

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might be very different, right? The one person might just go

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through a divorce after 30 years of marriage, another couple here

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just lost their baby, right after birth, another couple have

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just lost their dog and they had to put their dog down. And it

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has all the same intensity of pain. But the trigger is very

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different and to not judge people by why they feel certain

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pain, but to see that we all go through these stages of grief

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and pain and loss, can bring us closer together and will raise

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our empathy and compassion that we could have for each other if

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we were to see that. And by not taking your pain, your trauma

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personal, you also stay in a place of empowerment, right? An

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empowered person, a strong person with a big heart and

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strong mind. And resilience, soul will go through pain, but

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if that person doesn't take the circumstances, personally and

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makes it about themselves, but just sees it as an opportunity

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to show up as a human to show up authentically. That is a very

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valuable thing to do. And to remember that next time you go

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through pain and disappointment, that I mean, it sounds very

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cliche, but there's always a learning there is always a good

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side to all the bad that we're going through. And there's

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always something beautiful happening within us, when we are

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going through pain, right? If you go through a breakup, and

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miss the person intensely now that is not in your life

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anymore. You can feel that you are alive. You felt alive when

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you were in love, and when you were close to that person, but

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now that you feel this pain, you feel so real, you feel like you

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prioritize your life very differently, you might neglect

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yourself a little bit and abandon yourself a little bit.

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But then catch up again, and know that the scar turned you in

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such a more humble, loving, compassionate person, if you

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choose to. Because pain if we take pain personally, and if we

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take pain as a punishment, it can transform us into bitter

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beings, very weird beings. I believe that all the sociopaths

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out there and all the people who do weird shit, went through

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intense trauma and made the wrong conclusions about life

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afterwards. And then they run around with a distorted view

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when it comes to people and life in general, and it's just, yeah,

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just a weird in the video. So you can choose to see that pain

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can be a force that brings out the true you. It can be an

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experience that will make you show up more authentically in

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the future that will make you connect with people that maybe

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went through similar trauma and overcame the pain and struggles

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and now you can inspire each other or you can help other

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people out who will in the future go through similar pains

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that you are going through right now. But to really ask yourself,

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to which degree and that's what I talked about my last episode,

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that how much you identify with your pain,

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to which degree you let pain be part of your identity of your

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true self. And I feel we can all let go a little bit more of our

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past pain and when we close our eyes of course when you're

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driving. Don't close your eyes if you operate Eating machinery,

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don't close your eyes. But later on maybe tonight, just before

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you fall asleep, imagine a river. And imagine lead box that

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is right in front of you. And into that box you pour every

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pain, every burden, that you're still carrying around

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disappointment, very specific situations that you might have

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gone through recently.

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And you stuff everything into that box. And you close that

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box. And you lift it up and you feel the heaviness of that box.

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All the pain, all the regret, all the suffering is in that box

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and side of that box now in your hands. And all the learnings,

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all the ways that those pains have changed you for the better

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or close to your heart, they still inside of you. And to then

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go closer to that river and to put that box into the river. And

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to let it float away. If you have a sarcastic monkey mind

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like I do, I would right away say well, a heavy cardboard box

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that plays into the water is not going to float away, it's just

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gonna sink to the bottom and dissolve. But maybe it's a

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different kind of box, maybe it's a plastic container with

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air, and you put all the BS inside of it that you don't need

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to carry around anymore. And you let that contain a float away

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until you cannot see it anymore. And maybe you can feel it

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already that something is detaching from you something

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wants to let go. Something wants to just get outside of you. And

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that is the pain that you don't need to carry anymore. The

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disappointments the more we cling to weird conclusions to

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our suffering to taking things personal. The more we close

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ourselves off to the beauty of life, to everything that people

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and life have to offer for us. So it is very valuable practice

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to let go. And to know that you're safe. And to know that

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you overcame all the struggles and you're here now to continue

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to live your life in this present moment and into the

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future with fresh eyes with a beautiful open mind. And a big

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one hawk and heart

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I'm gonna leave you with this. And I want to thank you for all

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the messages and feedback that I received from you guys from all

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over the world. It's very, very precious to hear from you and to

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learn about your experiences. And to know that I can bring you

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peace and love. And yeah, I can bring you a little bit closer to

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yourself to who you truly are. That makes me feel so good that

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I can be a part of your journey. So thank you so much for being

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here for listening. And if you would like to then I'll meet you

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in the next episode. hopefully very soon, but certainly still

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in this year. We only had December 18 today so yes, I will

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certainly show up. Also on Facebook with a live video. If

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we haven't connected there yet. Just Yeah. Give me a shout.

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Aurora Eggert. Profile Facebook, take really good care of

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yourself. Have a big glass of water. That's what I'll do now.

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And I will be out there fairly soon.