Ep.5 Are you good at taking care of yourself in times of change and distress? w/ Troy Vincent

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Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm so excited to be spending some time with Troy

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Vincent today. It is an incredible story that he will

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share with us. And yeah, we just had a chat the other day and I

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felt the need to interview Troy because I know

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his story will bring a lot of hope and light and Kurt to

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people. And we just can't have enough of this right now,

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especially before Christmas. Troy, thank you so much for

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making the time to be here with us today.

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Yeah, do you want to dive in and share with us what your last 10

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days looked like a little bit to invite to your life?

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Well, thanks for having me, Aurora. As you gave me the

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introduction there. I'm like, Who's she going to talk to this

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guy? Sounds interesting. That's not me.

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Yeah, I guess the last few days, or the last week and a half was

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kind of

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a lot of things brewing up towards it, of course is that's

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what happens with change.

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A journey that began about three years ago and really ramped it

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up into this year with just you know, a lot of self development

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and self care, focus.

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really studying

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the psychology of, of happiness, and

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she's a Madonna, blank now, mindset and grow meditation,

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positive psychology, just a whole array of stuff that I dove

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into just for my own self purposes.

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And then, as my journey went along, I discovered something

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called Life Coaching, which I'd never heard of, and it's been

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around for forever.

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I met up with a life coach who introduced me to neuro

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linguistic programming, which is NLP. And some people might be

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very familiar with that. Tony Robbins is one of the big names

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behind NLP. He's, he's utilizes it. And so I actually went to

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Arizona, week and a half ago to do some training for four days,

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extensive intensive training

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10 hours a day.

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And just to learn a lot of different things about, you

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know, the brain and, and our language that we use, that we

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use and how powerful it is.

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And, yeah, and within one of the techniques that I was learning,

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I've been feeling a calling of becoming a life coach and

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helping connect with people in such a deeper way than I have

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via my soon to be old job, which is radio. And the aspect of

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radio that I do love is a way to connect with people. But this is

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far deeper. And so one of the techniques allowed me to kind of

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ask the question, is it time to let go of radio and move on to

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something else, like live coaching? And yeah, it just

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really, really resonated, spoke to me, kind of midway through

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the technique. It's like, I didn't have to finish it.

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Aurora. So it's like, This is it? It's time. I gotta, I gotta

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go dive into this. So oh, I don't have anything in front of

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me planned whatsoever. Great. Yeah, but my salary, start from

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zero and dive in. And so I came back from from that conference.

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I handed in my resignation to my boss.

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Wow. That is so I mean, there's lots of people who have done

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that during the last two years here.

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But you've been in your job for so many years. And I don't know

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a voice a voice carries so far like you've been in people's

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hearts and people's souls in people's minds, like through the

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radio station.

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And it must have been hard at the same time to resign and to

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say, okay, like, this is it now.

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But as you're very excited for this next journey,

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it's not that painful, but it's still Yeah, it's a chapter that

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needs closure. And how do you say that in English it

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the time that you spent on the radio have really Yeah. formed

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your character and helped you grow

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as well.

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Absolutely. Hi, I was, uh, I was always a shy kid growing up, you

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know?

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And a really great listener, if you were to ask my friends from

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school,

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if you were to tell them I got into radio, they'd be like,

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What? No, he doesn't talk for he wouldn't talk for a living, he

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would listen for a living. So yeah, it gave me a chance to

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find my voice. And, and really craft that. And so I'm very

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grateful for radio for that, because I was kind of born with

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the listening skills. It's just a matter of finding my voice.

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And now, I'm able to combine both into the next path that I

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want to take. And so that's really, really great. And, you

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know, 23 years later, I actually started off in radio, by

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accident. I didn't go to school for it. I didn't even grow up

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listening to radio.

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I did it for the most noble of reasons. Aurora, in university

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here in Lethbridge, there was a very pretty girl named Dana, who

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asked me and my buddy if we wanted to do a radio show, and

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we said, Yes. And then we met started making a pact with each

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other. Because we decided she's going to, she's going to fall in

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love with one of us, clearly. And so we made a pact that we

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wouldn't get mad

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if she chose the other person. And then we showed up the very

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next day, to a meeting at the radio station. And she

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introduced us to her very cool, very tall, very tough boyfriend.

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And we were stuck with a radio show. And, but it was great. I

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dove into that.

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And yeah, it kind of just accidentally blossomed into a

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career that I didn't

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even want to jump into right away. I just thought I'll try

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this until it stops being fun.

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And now 23 years have gone by.

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And I think it's finally time it's finally time so yeah,

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caught me off guard caught me by surprise. And it's been

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quite an interesting journey. They're starting off with

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someone who really wasn't that good at talking at all. Yeah.

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Oh, man. So that means your personality your soul loves

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challenges. And now you're bestest equipped for for your

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new job that you're gonna tackle, he assumed. Now let me

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ask you, when it comes to coaching, especially life

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coaching.

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I feel we all have a story to share that we all have a story

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of pain, sometimes even drama to share. We went through some

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stuff, and learned how to help ourselves. My listeners know my

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story a little bit and how I became a podcaster and a life

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coach. But how is it for you like, was it always, you know,

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this self awareness and, and understanding relationship

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dynamics come easy to you? Or did you have to learn it the

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hard way?

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What was your journey that led to to wanting to become a life

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coach? Yeah, you said you are.

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You're passionate about what you're learning right now. But

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on a on a soul level on an emotional level? What went on

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there? Yeah. Yeah.

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I remember from all the stuff that I've been kind of studying

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over the last year, especially with the last two years, friends

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started telling me Ah, become a therapist. And I was like, No, I

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don't want to go back to school that long. But you know, cool,

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cool idea.

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I like helping people, you know, I've been in pain and you want

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to help others

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alleviated of it, and help elevate others. And then I

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discovered life coaching. And

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I discovered it through a friend who actually experienced

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something called M E R. And that's

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mental and emotional release. And it's a technique that's kind

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of tethered into NLP.

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And I saw such a huge change for someone who is battling so much

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depression. And I kind of find out what this is. Because even

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though all the work I was doing, to, you know,

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deal with my baggage and try to read rediscover myself, after

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being in a relationship where it was, I became too codependent.

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Like we just by accident, we got along so well. We've just lost

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ourselves. And so it was time for self discovery.

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And so I went and visited this life coach, and I learned about

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ner and I said, Yes, I want to do this. And it's an intensive

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kind of two day process.

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Nothing too invasive or anything like that. It's not like you got

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to go to a therapist and you know, spill out your heart or

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anything like that.

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It's just a lot of language and visual techniques and connecting

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with your unconscious mind. And it seems so simple and that it

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shouldn't work, but it totally works. And when it did,

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from that moment on, am I, this is a miracle. And this is what I

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want to do. This is what I want to do right here, I want to help

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people overcome all of their baggage stuff that they might

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not even know about, that's just kind of sitting in your

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unconscious mind. And really kind of holding us back in a lot

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of ways creating limiting beliefs,

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creating a lot of fear and doubt. And when I experienced

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that it was is,

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I guess the way to liken it to one thing is like, we all can

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overreact at something. And when we do, it's because it's a tie,

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it's it's attached to baggage. So if you get angry at

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something, and you should be reacting, like a three out of 10

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on a scale, but you react like six, you know, your your people

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would be like, Well, jeez, you're really ticked off about

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this, but it's not you're, you're actually bringing in old

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baggage into this into that situation. But once you do this

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process, it's done is gone. And so from that moment on, like,

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you know, when you get mad at something, you're like, This is

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authentic. Like this is authentic frustration in this

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very moment you feel so present. And when we're present, we

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were elevated, and we have a chance to

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be more happy beer and being engaged in our world. And so

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it's just a miracle thing. And so as soon as I did that, I said

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I got to learn this. And so going to that NLP conference

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where I did on Arizona, that was step one. And now step two will

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be for me to go to one in the new year. And, and I want to be

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able to kind of help alleviate this for other people. And the

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things I've seen people overcome with it are just

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really great.

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They did a

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they did

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an experiment, I guess if that would be a test. Well, they had

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like a depression clinic, right? I believe this was down in the

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States. And they had X amount of people who were battling

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depression. And they had a certain sort of treatment that

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they had. And it was really good. They had like 70%

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effective rate where they'd help people get over their

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depression.

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And I think it was only like 10, maybe 15% Relapse would occur.

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So there's pretty good numbers, they're like they're helping

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people. Well, then they brought an M er. And they had 100%.

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effective rate 0% relapse.

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Wow, that's so powerful. In a world where we are getting more

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and more in touch with mental health. And the fact that so

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many of us battle it, we all battle in some sort of way,

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whether it's small increments, or low scale, human right up to

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a high scale. And so

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just to have that and be able to free people from from their

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baggage and what holds them back and just elevate them and send

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them on the way like, it's going to be so amazing. It's it's my

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passion. And it's my purpose. And so I couldn't resist, you

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know, following that dharma. I just had to sit down and go,

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yeah, it's time to move on radio, even though it's been

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really good for me and it's a great creative outlet.

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People think I'm silly to give up a radio job. But

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but this is it. You know, when when you find your next level

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passion, you gotta go for it. Yeah, yeah. Ah, this is so

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incredibly beautiful. And I'm sure the pharmaceutical

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companies will not like to hear this.

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Oh, no, you're right. Like, How is this not?

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This should be a thing where this should spread like a virus,

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right? Like, totally cover the world? Yeah, no, no, no, we have

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to, we have to be on a quest. You know, I want to put it in

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fairy tale language. It's not about the bad farmer. It's about

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the universe wanting us to want to heal. And we have to be on a

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quest. We have to find those tools that can heal us. And when

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we are in alignment with that we're going to attract people

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like you into our lives, and then we're going to heal. It's

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not going to be in the news. It's not going to be over social

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media. And, yeah, we have to make peace with that because

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it's too magical. Just like you say, right? It's, there's no big

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trick. There's no magic potion that you have to swallow down.

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It's

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just correct me if I'm wrong. It is learning about yourself,

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making sense of it and then not being a victim of your past. And

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your little monkey mind that sometimes does

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So I had to run through with stuff.

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And what's what's incredible is you don't have to like really

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struggle to overcome anything. You don't have to be mindful to.

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Like you're you're tapping into your unconscious mind, right.

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And so even when the whole process is done, you're like,

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that's it did it work. But it's only work. I saw a gal. In

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Arizona, she was terrified of elevators. Since she was a

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little kid, she got trapped in an elevator for like three hours

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when she was a kid. And so she never went back into an elevator

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ever again. And she lived in Paris, and she never went into

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the elevator to go up to the Eiffel Tower.

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She was another city that she lived in. She was in a high

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rise, she lived like on the 22nd floor.

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And she never took the elevator. She took the stairs all the

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time. And so she was at this conference with me at this

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training. And they did the M er on her. And again, it's not

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like, it'd be like a 10 minute process. And it's just a

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visualization thing. And sure enough, it's like, okay, how do

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you feel about elevators? Like, I'm fine with it? Of course, you

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know what the trainer is like, Well, should we go test this

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out. And so a bunch of us, all of us got up and started walking

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down the hall of the hotel and right to an elevator she got

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inside, I made sure that I snuck my way inside too, because I

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wanted to see her in action. See what the experience was like. I

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was right beside her. And she, she had the expression on her

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face. Like she had been in an elevator every day her entire

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life. Like it was the most boring, mundane neutral thing.

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It's just like, Yeah, I'm just in an elevator. I'm just going

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up to the fourth floor. It's simple as that. And it's just

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incredible, because the energy and the expression on her face

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when she was sharing her story, like 15 minutes beforehand, you

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can see the terror. You know, her body would just shake and

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just ripple and give her shivers when she thought about getting

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into an elevator. And then suddenly now it's like, yeah,

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this is a thing. I can just do this now. And it's gone. And all

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that phobia is gone. And

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I just want to be able to do that for people just to help

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alleviate.

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Yeah, yeah, it is so crazy, because I feel most of the time,

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like we are doing all right, you know, we're fine. We're not in

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big pain. But life is not as awesome as it could be. But we

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can't really put a finger on it, why? Why we're not more content

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or happy. And then a coach like you comes into play. And points

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out, Hey, you have limiting beliefs, you still think that

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you're not deserving? And that you're not enough? Or you still

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think that the traumatic experience from back then is

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supposed to Yeah, limit your beliefs nowadays in order to

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keep you safe?

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And then all of a sudden, that person realizes, Oh, no, I can

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actually let go of all this. And I mean, just for you to witness

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that. But for the person now to know that they can actually tap

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back into their potential and get closer to their purpose to

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what they're meant to.

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Yeah. To to what they were meant to accomplish here and do here

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on planet Earth. And it's just so yeah, it's so amazing. And

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I'm so glad that I met you because

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I feel exactly the same about about this job. And a lot of

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times, yeah, coaches feel like Oh, my God, this is gonna be

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competition. And I don't want him to, you know, to look at my

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book. No. And I want to

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know, this is not how it goes. Because people react to energy.

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They're drawn to your energy and then you go from there. Like,

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it's

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competition is the old way of looking at it and working

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together and boosting each other I feel is the new world.

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It's,

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yeah,

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a very, we all can.

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We all need, you know, we can all benefit from coaching. I

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liked how people will kind of actually had a friend asked me

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if I was joining a cult, when I told him what I was going to do.

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I was like, what do you what do you think like coaching is, that

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was an interesting conversation.

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And so people don't have an understanding. Go, it's weird.

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They'll understand coaching, have a whole variety of other

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things. But then you say life coaching and you're like, what?

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Well, life coaching. What's that? Like kind of mind control

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manipulation is is is like, No, we're all living. And so this is

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like the most important coaching we get

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You know, and, and it doesn't matter where you are in your

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life, wherever you are on your happiness level, you can always

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be a little bit happier. If you have confidence, you can boost

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that whatever it might be, we all have areas that kind of can

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sink and we can elevate them and improve upon them. And that's

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what the life coaching is, and

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and people don't quite understand exactly like, you can

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have your life together in a lot of ways. It doesn't mean in

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fact, the people, the successful people are the ones who get

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coaches. Yes, they know. Yeah, they've got they know, mentors,

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they get coaching. And so people who aren't successful, and

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they're like, I don't know what this coaching is. And so you

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will be successful if you get a coach. Yeah, I mean, the most

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successful people have a coach, you know, when when people think

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of even in sports terms, you could take the greatest player

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in whatever sport like Tom Brady and football, he has a head

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coach, he's got a offensive coordinator, coach, he's got a

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quarterback coach, he's got his own personal trainer for his

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body, he's got his coach for his food he's got, he just has so

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many coaches in his life. And that's what these successful

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people do. They surround themselves with people who can,

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you know, see, because we can't see everything within ourselves

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from the, because we're looking outward. And we can't always see

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totally inward what other people can see, we don't hear our own

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language sometimes. And so you can find really guidance, and

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it's not being told what to do. You know, you're being guided,

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all the answers are within us. And it's amazing. When you

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unleash that and experience it, and that's why you know, me and

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you, we're coaches, and yet we have coaches, because we know it

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works, and how powerful it is, oh, yeah, I couldn't do.

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There's no way. Like you say, first of all, we don't, we don't

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have all the tools, we don't have all the skills. And second

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of all, we are human beings who also go through depressive

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phases who go through phases of self doubt. And

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yeah, we have to pour our heart out to people that kind of have

Unknown: 00:22:12

a neutral position and and have interest in mind. And that's

Unknown: 00:22:17

okay, you, once you accept that, that you can't do it all. And

Unknown: 00:22:22

that's how it's supposed to be you have to do it as a team.

Unknown: 00:22:26

It's great. As long as you resist it, as long as you think

Unknown: 00:22:30

no, this is not for me, and I have to struggle, life has to be

Unknown: 00:22:36

hard.

Unknown: 00:22:39

It's, it's going to be tough. And I feel Yeah, there is people

Unknown: 00:22:43

that are naturally, like open up to you and learn from you. And

Unknown: 00:22:50

there's people who are going to be curious, but then they're

Unknown: 00:22:54

going to find out no, this is too challenging. I can deal with

Unknown: 00:22:58

uncertainty, I can deal with my own power. That's what I

Unknown: 00:23:04

discovered is that there's people, you will show them in

Unknown: 00:23:07

the mirror,

Unknown: 00:23:10

hey, this is what I see. And you and you claim that power and you

Unknown: 00:23:14

can achieve this and that and they will be like No, I don't

Unknown: 00:23:18

want to tap into my energy. I want to stay in victim mentality

Unknown: 00:23:25

and suffer and be in pain. And that, for me is the very hardest

Unknown: 00:23:31

part as a coach to see someone

Unknown: 00:23:35

choosing to stay in the in the pain zone.

Unknown: 00:23:40

But I had to learn that everybody heals at their own

Unknown: 00:23:43

speed. And if they're not ready, nobody, it's nobody's fault.

Unknown: 00:23:50

No, you're right. And it's really tough. Because yeah, we

Unknown: 00:23:53

do see their potential, we see the potential and everyone and

Unknown: 00:23:58

and you want to show it to the and if they're not ready to see

Unknown: 00:24:01

it, that's not going to help or if they're not ready, have you

Unknown: 00:24:04

experienced this was kind of based on my own observations

Unknown: 00:24:08

with myself. And then I noticed everyone else in the world kind

Unknown: 00:24:11

of doing it to like the two phases of change. were,

Unknown: 00:24:16

you know, that first phase is like, I want to change, I need

Unknown: 00:24:19

to change, you know. And so you see something in your life,

Unknown: 00:24:23

you're experiencing something, you're like, something's got to

Unknown: 00:24:25

change, I have to change. And then you don't.

Unknown: 00:24:29

It's not until you're ready to change that you actually do. And

Unknown: 00:24:33

that's phase two. And so you come across a lot of people in

Unknown: 00:24:35

our business who are in phase one, and they're like, Yeah, you

Unknown: 00:24:39

know, I'm, I'm just I'm coming near my wit's end and I just

Unknown: 00:24:42

things have to be different. And you know, they're sincere, that

Unknown: 00:24:47

they're very sincere. And so you know, your heart goes out to

Unknown: 00:24:50

them and you empathize with them.

Unknown: 00:24:52

But then there's that. There's that thing where it's like,

Unknown: 00:24:54

they're not ready. I remember a story that heard recently I was

Unknown: 00:24:57

talking to a guy and he's a motivational

Unknown: 00:25:00

Speaker, he was going through a rough patch in his life.

Unknown: 00:25:05

And his mom was on his on her deathbed. And he kind of felt

Unknown: 00:25:08

this guilt, like, oh my goodness, like this wonderful

Unknown: 00:25:11

woman, she adopted him into her, the family, you know, raised him

Unknown: 00:25:14

and took care of them protected him and

Unknown: 00:25:18

he went on to become like an NFL player. And then his career is

Unknown: 00:25:21

over. And his life was kind of, you know, kind of not good, it

Unknown: 00:25:24

was not good, it was kind of in shambles. And his relationships

Unknown: 00:25:28

are in shambles. And he was embarrassed. And so on her

Unknown: 00:25:31

deathbed, he's like, promise things like, Well, I'm gonna

Unknown: 00:25:33

make you proud. And I need to be a better son who's making a

Unknown: 00:25:37

promise with himself, right.

Unknown: 00:25:40

And then from that moment, right there, he proceeded to not do

Unknown: 00:25:45

anything

Unknown: 00:25:47

for a year and a half,

Unknown: 00:25:50

as a year and a half, that phase to finally kick in. So phase one

Unknown: 00:25:54

was right there on the deathbed of his mother, and she's

Unknown: 00:25:57

breathing her last breath, and he's like, I want change, I need

Unknown: 00:26:01

change, this has to happen. And then it took him a year and a

Unknown: 00:26:04

half, to finally go, Alright, ready for change. And so you

Unknown: 00:26:10

know, something powerful like that, you know, I just kind of

Unknown: 00:26:13

keep that in mind, when I just remember that people are in

Unknown: 00:26:16

different, those two different phases. And so yeah, there's a

Unknown: 00:26:20

lot of people who aren't ready for coaching, and I'll just flat

Unknown: 00:26:23

out, tell them that to me, like, you're not ready for me. And

Unknown: 00:26:25

there's no shame in that whatsoever, I've experienced

Unknown: 00:26:28

that many times where I've not been ready for change, you know,

Unknown: 00:26:32

sometimes that gap between phase one and two is like a day,

Unknown: 00:26:34

sometimes it's a year and a half. Yeah, and, and so I just

Unknown: 00:26:40

tell people, you're not ready, and that's okay. And you're

Unknown: 00:26:43

gonna get there, you know, and if you want to coach and come

Unknown: 00:26:46

find me otherwise, or get a coach, it doesn't have to be me,

Unknown: 00:26:49

if you want it, it's going to elevate your life, and it's

Unknown: 00:26:51

going to be amazing for you. So you have a beautiful vision of

Unknown: 00:26:54

what you want, you can get it, your success is inevitable. If

Unknown: 00:26:59

you do the inner work, and the outer work, all of us our

Unknown: 00:27:02

success is inevitable. And I guess that's why, you know, as I

Unknown: 00:27:07

come to this crossroads of we're on leaving radio, and I'm moving

Unknown: 00:27:12

on to coaching and a lot of people are going wow, you must

Unknown: 00:27:14

be terrified, you're giving up your salary. And it's like, I

Unknown: 00:27:17

got zero income plan for 2022. But I still got bills, and

Unknown: 00:27:22

people I see. And, and you know, you don't know if it's going to

Unknown: 00:27:26

work.

Unknown: 00:27:28

And I just I just say nine, like my success is inevitable.

Unknown: 00:27:34

And a big part of this, the M er, releasing that was limiting

Unknown: 00:27:38

beliefs, you know, one of them was was not good enough. And I

Unknown: 00:27:43

have achieved so many things in my life. And I never got to

Unknown: 00:27:46

fully really enjoy those achievements. Because I was just

Unknown: 00:27:49

kind of you have that impostor syndrome, like, you're worried

Unknown: 00:27:52

that, okay, I lucked out, and I got this, but I gotta keep

Unknown: 00:27:55

working really hard. So I became a workaholic. And always just

Unknown: 00:27:59

trying to, you know, I proved myself maybe that I was good

Unknown: 00:28:02

enough for the next level, the next level, the next level. So I

Unknown: 00:28:06

released all of that. And now I'm just like, I am good enough,

Unknown: 00:28:09

I can actually just say that and actually believe it. And so I

Unknown: 00:28:13

just know, I'm gonna be able to face any challenges by

Unknown: 00:28:15

confidence went from person who had very low self confidence to

Unknown: 00:28:19

someone who a lot of people might think I have too much now,

Unknown: 00:28:24

such a drastic change.

Unknown: 00:28:26

And it's just, it's just such an amazing place to be and when you

Unknown: 00:28:30

can let go of that and, and really get in tune with who you

Unknown: 00:28:33

are and what you're capable of. And I don't even know what I'm

Unknown: 00:28:36

fully capable of.

Unknown: 00:28:38

And is what like you said, we have self doubts even there

Unknown: 00:28:42

ourselves. And we see so much potential and everyone else,

Unknown: 00:28:44

sometimes we can't see in ourselves. And so you there's a

Unknown: 00:28:47

mystery, and I'm actually more curious and intrigued by the

Unknown: 00:28:49

mystery than scared of the mystery. And just know that

Unknown: 00:28:53

whatever challenges are going to want obstacles, because that

Unknown: 00:28:56

means you are making progress. You're getting closer, you're

Unknown: 00:28:59

you're growing. Yeah, I want fail, because that means you're

Unknown: 00:29:04

trying. Whereas a lot of the times you don't be afraid I was

Unknown: 00:29:07

a perfectionist. Once upon a time, like severe perfectionist,

Unknown: 00:29:10

I hated failing, I would let anyone else fell in front of me.

Unknown: 00:29:13

And I would nurture them and comfort them and go like, Hey,

Unknown: 00:29:16

don't be so hard on yourself. And then I would use every swear

Unknown: 00:29:20

word in the book, when I made a mistake, because I needed to be

Unknown: 00:29:23

perfect. And it was from something that was deep rooted

Unknown: 00:29:26

in my youth. And so I was able to let that go. And so because

Unknown: 00:29:30

of that I love making mistakes. Now I love learning from it. And

Unknown: 00:29:33

I know obstacles are just there. They're not a deterrent to tell

Unknown: 00:29:36

you to stop going down this path. They are something you go,

Unknown: 00:29:39

hey, it's time to grow. It's time to stretch. It's time to

Unknown: 00:29:42

learn new ways of doing things. Because what you know right now,

Unknown: 00:29:47

it's not going to work. That's so great. You're going to learn

Unknown: 00:29:49

something new and you're going to be better for it. And that's

Unknown: 00:29:52

just exciting. And so yeah, you know, when it comes to people to

Unknown: 00:29:57

say, well, it must be so scary and I'm like It's nuts.

Unknown: 00:30:00

Hearing at all, I have zero regrets about leaving behind my

Unknown: 00:30:01

23 year radio career. And I don't know, I've let go with the

Unknown: 00:30:06

results of what's going to be coming up next. But I am all in

Unknown: 00:30:09

on the journey. And, and because of that, I really don't have

Unknown: 00:30:14

any, any fear. And I know my success is inevitable because

Unknown: 00:30:18

I'm going to continue doing the inner work. And I'm going to put

Unknown: 00:30:22

in the, the effort for the outer work. And so it's just, it's

Unknown: 00:30:26

just a matter of when that's the mystery. When When am I going?

Unknown: 00:30:29

What will that success look like? When will it happen? And

Unknown: 00:30:32

that's what the equation is for all of us. Yeah. Yeah. And how

Unknown: 00:30:38

much we're open to it or not. And it's, it's incredible. When

Unknown: 00:30:44

you say, Yeah, you are on this new path now, and you're not

Unknown: 00:30:50

scared. Uncertainty is something that excites you instead of

Unknown: 00:30:55

ignites, like, crippling anxiety.

Unknown: 00:31:00

And there's, there's, you know, people where you can sense or

Unknown: 00:31:04

Yeah, they've learned to repeat affirmations that they've heard

Unknown: 00:31:08

on.

Unknown: 00:31:10

I don't know, a podcast, radio station or read in a book. And

Unknown: 00:31:15

then people where you can really feel that they are walking their

Unknown: 00:31:23

talk, right? Do you know what I mean? Like some people, like

Unknown: 00:31:27

talk in a lot of absolutely estimative ways, and you're

Unknown: 00:31:31

like, Okay, I get all this, but your vibe is not really, you're

Unknown: 00:31:35

trying to sell me something here, and I don't like it. And

Unknown: 00:31:40

the first time we talked, I could sense that you really

Unknown: 00:31:45

meant it. And

Unknown: 00:31:47

I mean, I'm probably not the first person you attract into

Unknown: 00:31:50

your life, who's, who's telling you, hey, if there's anything in

Unknown: 00:31:54

my power I can do to boost you, please let me know. And you're

Unknown: 00:31:59

going to meet more people who are gonna lift you up, because

Unknown: 00:32:04

they can feel your strong desire to be out there and to do this

Unknown: 00:32:09

work. And that is, so that is hard to put into words. Because

Unknown: 00:32:17

you will feel it and you will know what I mean, right now,

Unknown: 00:32:20

maybe you know, already.

Unknown: 00:32:23

But there will be. Yeah, no big fear, no big anxiety, no big Oh,

Unknown: 00:32:29

my God, where's my money gonna come from? Because people know

Unknown: 00:32:32

that you are a no bullshitter. And this is so incredibly

Unknown: 00:32:37

valuable in a world where, you know, there is a salesperson at

Unknown: 00:32:42

every corner for pretty much everything 24/7.

Unknown: 00:32:49

And if there's people like you, among them, who actually is very

Unknown: 00:32:54

calm and says, hey, I can just

Unknown: 00:32:58

share my tools with you, we can start talking and

Unknown: 00:33:03

we can be raw and honest here. And there's going to be Yeah, no

Unknown: 00:33:09

doubt that you're going to make it big times out there. So I'm

Unknown: 00:33:14

excited to follow you. I'm excited to hear about your

Unknown: 00:33:18

story. Come 2022

Unknown: 00:33:23

If there was one thing, or maybe let's say two things that you

Unknown: 00:33:28

would

Unknown: 00:33:30

say to a person who is in a situation right now that they

Unknown: 00:33:34

found out shit, like they have to pay their bills, they're

Unknown: 00:33:38

unhappy with their jobs now.

Unknown: 00:33:42

What are what can they do? If if they don't really know what

Unknown: 00:33:49

their purpose is? So what helped you like you were busy with your

Unknown: 00:33:53

radio station? And you said you got interested in coaching, but

Unknown: 00:33:58

what would you advise to a person who doesn't quite know

Unknown: 00:34:02

okay, what is my purpose here? How can I get closer to it?

Unknown: 00:34:08

Yeah, you know, small hinges swing big doors, right? And you

Unknown: 00:34:11

got to do small steps. And, like, first thing I would do is

Unknown: 00:34:15

pick up a book, pick up a book on self growth, and you start to

Unknown: 00:34:19

go inward, because that's where all the answers are. If you're

Unknown: 00:34:22

if you're looking for happiness, it's not outside. I've done a

Unknown: 00:34:26

lot of that. Because, you know, there's there's, there's joyous

Unknown: 00:34:29

experiences from externally. Absolutely. I love you know, new

Unknown: 00:34:35

external stimuli that reason, but you know, the true

Unknown: 00:34:40

contentment comes from within and it took me a long time to

Unknown: 00:34:45

really tap into that and I I battled anxiety, I've battled

Unknown: 00:34:49

panic attacks, and I've overcome that completely and did a one,

Unknown: 00:34:54

one ad on it. And it started with just kind of delving into

Unknown: 00:34:58

myself and you'll start

Unknown: 00:35:00

To

Unknown: 00:35:01

learn more about yourself, and when you do that, you'll see how

Unknown: 00:35:04

it aligns up with something. And then when you're ready, the

Unknown: 00:35:07

universe is gonna put something in your path. I had no idea life

Unknown: 00:35:10

coaching was a thing. And then everything I had just been

Unknown: 00:35:14

preparing for, on my own, I didn't even know his

Unknown: 00:35:16

preparation, I was just trying to be a better person just

Unknown: 00:35:20

trying to grow and you know, from within.

Unknown: 00:35:23

And that's where it begins, you do the inner work and it shines

Unknown: 00:35:27

outward, and you're going to find your passion, it's going to

Unknown: 00:35:31

reignite there with you. And then when you do,

Unknown: 00:35:34

don't ignore it,

Unknown: 00:35:36

you, you're going to have doubts, we have the two parts of

Unknown: 00:35:40

our brain. One is the primal brain, the monkey mind. And then

Unknown: 00:35:46

the other one is the evolved brain. And that old monkey mind,

Unknown: 00:35:49

it's very outdated software.

Unknown: 00:35:54

Where, you know, that's our fear, or, you know, fight or

Unknown: 00:35:57

flight mechanism. And so, there's so many times we think

Unknown: 00:36:00

we're, our brain asks us, put us to convince us, we're in danger.

Unknown: 00:36:04

And that means anytime we try to grow, it's like, don't, it's

Unknown: 00:36:07

gonna be uncomfortable.

Unknown: 00:36:09

And so it tries to keep you safe, and keep you stuck is in

Unknown: 00:36:13

the end is what it does is when you learn how to silence that,

Unknown: 00:36:17

once it pops up, just go, okay, that's just, that's just critter

Unknown: 00:36:21

brain in there, that's just that part of my mind.

Unknown: 00:36:24

And that's okay, you know, you don't chastise it or anything

Unknown: 00:36:27

like that, you just accept it for what it is. And if the

Unknown: 00:36:29

building's ever on fire, you're gonna love the fact that you

Unknown: 00:36:32

have that part of your brain still, but

Unknown: 00:36:36

But otherwise, you just really get in tune with, with your mind

Unknown: 00:36:40

with your unconscious, because even at a conscious level,

Unknown: 00:36:42

that's the conscious mind is such a small part of who we are.

Unknown: 00:36:46

So on the unconscious level that you got deep, dive deep into.

Unknown: 00:36:51

And when you do, that's where you're going to find everything

Unknown: 00:36:54

that you need.

Unknown: 00:36:55

And, and it's within you, you got it. And just keep taking

Unknown: 00:36:59

small steps forward, and it just turns into something much, much

Unknown: 00:37:03

bigger. And it's going to require uncomfortable action.

Unknown: 00:37:09

And you'll learn

Unknown: 00:37:11

if you can shift your mindset to learn that that's an exciting

Unknown: 00:37:15

thing. And you're welcome.

Unknown: 00:37:19

Yeah, we all have our potential, it's,

Unknown: 00:37:23

it's tough when you do you see people start to dream, they know

Unknown: 00:37:26

how it's going to change their life, and then they hold back

Unknown: 00:37:29

just because they're not willing to take that uncomfortable step.

Unknown: 00:37:32

willing to be uncomfortable.

Unknown: 00:37:36

getting exactly what they want. Yeah. So beautifully said and I,

Unknown: 00:37:43

I totally agree with everything you said there. And it's like

Unknown: 00:37:48

you say at the end, the big part is that you have to be willing

Unknown: 00:37:52

to,

Unknown: 00:37:53

to let go a little bit of the addiction to having to feel good

Unknown: 00:37:58

all the time. And to embrace life is really dark at times,

Unknown: 00:38:04

life is pretty dramatic at times. And it is scary at times.

Unknown: 00:38:08

And it is okay. You don't need to live in denial, or distract

Unknown: 00:38:13

yourself from it. It's it's part of it, and especially self

Unknown: 00:38:18

growth

Unknown: 00:38:20

is not like progress is not linear. There's lots of detours

Unknown: 00:38:25

and

Unknown: 00:38:27

being a little bit uncomfortable for the right reasons. is the

Unknown: 00:38:33

strongest lesson I've learned here in 2021. I think

Unknown: 00:38:40

I have one more question for you. I was going to wrap up now.

Unknown: 00:38:43

But I have one more question for you.

Unknown: 00:38:47

What is the biggest lesson you've learned about yourself in

Unknown: 00:38:54

recent years, that

Unknown: 00:38:57

that you would like to share with us?

Unknown: 00:39:07

The biggest lesson

Unknown: 00:39:11

from a mental standpoint, it was becoming aware of the two parts

Unknown: 00:39:16

of the brain that will no primal part that tries to tell you,

Unknown: 00:39:19

you're in danger all the time and just knowing how to

Unknown: 00:39:23

communicate with it and just saying no, I'm safe. I'm not in

Unknown: 00:39:25

danger. I'm actually very, very safe. And then you can proceed,

Unknown: 00:39:30

no problem.

Unknown: 00:39:31

But what really shifted for me.

Unknown: 00:39:36

What I'm really grateful for is

Unknown: 00:39:40

that I finally love myself.

Unknown: 00:39:44

And for the longest time

Unknown: 00:39:48

I would really like myself, and there's other times that I would

Unknown: 00:39:51

absolutely despise myself. Part of that was you know, the

Unknown: 00:39:55

demands that I put on

Unknown: 00:39:58

you know, the baggage that maybe I

Unknown: 00:40:00

I was carrying around was I was given up for adoption when I was

Unknown: 00:40:03

born and

Unknown: 00:40:08

stayed in an orphanage for a few months, I wouldn't have any

Unknown: 00:40:11

direct memories of it. But I've stayed in the orphanage and I

Unknown: 00:40:14

was adopted by a very great couple. And, you know, I've also

Unknown: 00:40:19

lost them in my life.

Unknown: 00:40:23

Over the years, and you know,

Unknown: 00:40:27

like, and it's my mom life, she passed away 2002 Now, so it's

Unknown: 00:40:30

almost 20 years. So you and a lot of ways you feel like

Unknown: 00:40:34

orphaned. And then

Unknown: 00:40:37

again, god damn pandemic didn't help when you live alone, and we

Unknown: 00:40:40

work alone. Everything's just alone, alone alone. But it gave

Unknown: 00:40:43

me a chance to really dive into myself and, and I became my best

Unknown: 00:40:48

friend.

Unknown: 00:40:50

And that's something I never was to myself, I was a best friend

Unknown: 00:40:53

for so many people. And it was never a best friend for myself.

Unknown: 00:40:57

And

Unknown: 00:40:58

so that's an incredible gift that has come out of all of this

Unknown: 00:41:02

for me. And if, if people can take that journey, there's part

Unknown: 00:41:07

of you that you don't like that it's holding you back from

Unknown: 00:41:09

really loving yourself. Really

Unknown: 00:41:13

raw Aurora, I would I accept that everyone's flaws except for

Unknown: 00:41:16

my own. You know, if people made mistakes, I would laugh along

Unknown: 00:41:21

with them and say, they're really goofy, you know?

Unknown: 00:41:25

flaws, right? So a lot of charm.

Unknown: 00:41:28

But when I when I would do it, then I would just, I'd be

Unknown: 00:41:31

embarrassed to want to crawl with inside of myself. And I've

Unknown: 00:41:35

just learned at some point to let that go. And just all of a

Unknown: 00:41:38

sudden, it just happened. And

Unknown: 00:41:41

and it's the most amazing gift. Because when you can do that,

Unknown: 00:41:44

then no matter where you are your best friend.

Unknown: 00:41:50

That brings tears to my eyes. That is so precious. So

Unknown: 00:41:55

beautiful. And Wow. Thank you so much for sharing that for being

Unknown: 00:42:02

here and being so yeah, vulnerable and transparent. And

Unknown: 00:42:08

at the same time, so courageous. It's been a great pleasure tried

Unknown: 00:42:14

to have you here. Thank you. So so it's weird being on this side

Unknown: 00:42:19

of it. I'm used to being the person who's hosting things

Unknown: 00:42:21

right on the radio. And so I'm usually asking the questions in

Unknown: 00:42:25

the Questions as a coach asking the questions at our host.

Unknown: 00:42:28

It's weird to be in the spotlight because I love shining

Unknown: 00:42:31

the spotlight on anybody and everybody else. Ah, well, I will

Unknown: 00:42:35

invite you back and then you'll be my host.

Unknown: 00:42:39

I would gladly answer some questions. Yes. Now it would be

Unknown: 00:42:43

so much fun. Yes, we should interview you. Yeah, no, I

Unknown: 00:42:47

really liked that idea.

Unknown: 00:42:51

All right. Well, thank you so much for being here. And yeah,

Unknown: 00:42:55

if you guys want to reach out to Troy, I will put his information

Unknown: 00:43:00

in the shownotes. Is there any other way people can contact you

Unknown: 00:43:04

for now? Is Facebook the best?

Unknown: 00:43:09

Facebook's a great way to do it. But yeah, I'll give you the

Unknown: 00:43:11

information and you can just share it as you see fit.

Unknown: 00:43:15

I'm not in hiding or anything like that so people can reach

Unknown: 00:43:19

out and thank you. Thank you for the conversation. I feel really

Unknown: 00:43:22

blessed to cross paths with you and we connected so fast and I

Unknown: 00:43:28

feel like I've just

Unknown: 00:43:30

made a friend really fast and it's really really neat. Yeah,

Unknown: 00:43:35

you are. You are a shining light. You love your sunny

Unknown: 00:43:39

disposition. You are magnetic. You are a gem.

Unknown: 00:43:44

Thank you so much Troy and you have a wonderful rest of your

Unknown: 00:43:47

day.

Unknown: 00:43:50

You bet