Ep.39 The story you keep telling yourself. [self-awareness]

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Hello and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

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your host Aurora. And if you're longing for a place where you

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can rest and recharge your batteries, unwind from a busy

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day, reflect about yourself and your life. And this is the place

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to be.

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First of all, I want to thank my followers in Germany, fewer and

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fewer and dunked as your Iceman podcasts on her. Additionally,

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we're here in Canada that's ACCION on speedwriting me a

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zoafia. Servicing das dosha to her harbor.

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A bozhou Ha, is me or false. Merci beaucoup, decorative

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podcast you see, represent buku

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per se DITA like Ma is similar chef Luca, merci beaucoup.

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And, of course, thank you, to my followers in the US and Canada,

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you guys have been amazing. Thank you for your encouraging

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feedback. And I'm very grateful that I get to serve you and make

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your life a little better. And yeah, my name is Aurora Eggert

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on Facebook, feel free to contact me there. Or join the

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Facebook group the Borealis experience, and request

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meditations from me and tell me about your day about your life

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and what you need. And I will post meditations for you then

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that are perfect to unwind from a busy day, or to start a day or

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if you're struggling with

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relationship stuff, then I can help you too.

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So that being said, I want to dive in. In today's episode

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about the story, you tell yourself, we all have a story.

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Chances are you are in your 20s 30s 40s, maybe 50s If you

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listen to my podcast, and we all went through some stuff, some

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really good stuff and some really nasty stuff. And I want

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to talk about the more nasty stuff today without going into

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details. But the story we tell ourselves about our history, and

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about who we are today is gonna frame like give you a frame and

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to or push you into a frame

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of person that you are in society. I hope my English was

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good enough to express myself here, forgive, I'm not native

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English. And sometimes I struggle with my words, the

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story you tell about yourself is going to define how you show up

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in this world. So let's say you are a heavyset person, and

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you're very unhappy with your

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physical appearance.

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But years back now, you decided that this is who you are, this

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is where you're going to be for the rest of your life. How then,

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can you imagine losing weight if let's say you join Weight

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Watchers or decide to start a diet, because from the outside,

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you got to do the right thing. But your internal compass is

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still gonna guide you to what you believe you are. And weight

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loss is just one little part of the story. Let's take a guy who

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wants to gain weight. And he's constantly struggling with food

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and weightlifting.

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But compares himself to the big guys in the gym, or outside in

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the world and still sees him as the smallest guy in the group

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wherever he goes. While this guy is also not gonna gain weight,

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because on a mental level, emotional level even he is

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keeping himself small.

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Then we have other stories. Let's take myself

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I went through a fair share of abuse in my 20s

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emotional and physical and there was a point where there was a

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friend or an acquaintance who asked me like, are you going to

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live your life now?

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Oh, being a victim after this happened to you. And she was not

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even meaning it in a mean way. Like she was not looking down on

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me, I think at least didn't come across, as if. But it really

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made me think. And I really thought, yeah, like, every time

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I introduce myself and a group or to a new person,

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I tell that little bit of a story about my immigration and

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who I was blah, blah, blah. And then you get to know that person

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better. And they ask deeper questions. And then you notice

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that you always repeat that same story. And you live by that

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story, too. And it is not a bad thing to share your story.

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That's not what I mean by that. Share your story, deal with it,

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but then also get over it and emotionally.

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I wanted to say detach, but detach. It's not what I want to

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say here. But give yourself the freedom to become a new person

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every day.

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I know when you look into the mirror, you probably see the

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same person every day. But if you start the work from inside,

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if you start to see yourself from the inside with different

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eyes, then you can also have different experiences in the

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outside world.

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A lot of times we go out there into the dating world with

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pre written script on how the person has to be that is suiting

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us. But let me tell you something the day I dropped that

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sheet that I had written down on how my partner has to look like

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it opened my mind to a beautiful new world.

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Maybe you are not into smoking. Yeah, maybe maybe you reject

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people who smoke. But maybe that person is only smoking now and

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will change in the future. I know there's people out there

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now smiling at me hahaha always women thinking they can change

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men

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are the say is that little habit that annoys you so much? Is it

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really dictating? And like, allowing you to not get to know

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that personnel? That one little thing?

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And that person who smokes, does that person has to say

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I'm a smoker, and this is who I am. And I'm always going to

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stick to that no matter what.

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No, that person can also question his or her behavior.

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When it comes to more traumatic stories, when it comes to abuse,

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neglect, when it comes to

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people really harming you in the past, then you need to dig that

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shit up. Oh, now I was saying a bad word. I'm learning to be

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more clean with my language because I got restricted here.

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You need to deal with that stuff that was really harmful to you.

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But you also have to learn how to see yourself as a new person.

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Without that scar,

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you have that scar, but that scar

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is not going to define who you are today. Because that's when

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you put yourself into a little box. And everything that happens

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outside of a box you will either not see or live in denial with

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and it prevents you to live a beautiful juicy life.

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Today I was asked on how meditation can help you when you

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suffer from anxiety and

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in group settings, you get nervous and and stuff like that.

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And I answered when you start meditating when you start

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observing your thoughts, then you will quickly see where you

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have resistance where you have adversity where your monkey

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brain is going nuts and trying to hold you back from going into

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that direction. And I said this is where you have to go deeper.

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Because what we resist most of the time is that the thing that

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we should actually work through what we are scared of most

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As rejection and shame, and being excluded from a group of

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people or society, and sometimes our fear of rejection, took over

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our life and really prevents us from being naturally out there

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and curious and open.

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It is really critical, again, to go see a professional, if you

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went to a fair share of trauma and still haven't processed it,

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what I mean is, what happens after, how can you free yourself

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from that stuff again, and it is in facing it, and sitting with

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it in meditation, or talking to a close friend. And then letting

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it go.

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Family is also a very good place to look at and to observe.

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There's a couple of people out there,

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me included who have been born into a family that not

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necessarily understands you, or shares, same values as as you.

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And that's not a bad thing, because it forces you to grow up

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with an open mind.

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At the same time, it makes you feel very insecure about who you

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are and what you have to give to this world. So again, there, if

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you look at your family structure, look at people who

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are born creatives, and are born into a family of intellectuals,

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and they make him feel bad now because he is not interested in

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what they are interested he wants to pursue his passion. Of

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course, if he doesn't have a rock solid confidence

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boost behind him, he's not going to be secure about his decision

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making about being a creative artist. But he has to go out

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there and

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find people that are like minded and find people that will

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encourage his passion. Because this is the only way evolution

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can happen. If we all stay in our families and do what our

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families have done before us. That's beautiful too. And I

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don't blame or shame anyone who decides to do that. I'm talking

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to the people who still haven't come out yet who are still

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struggling to show who they truly are. And it is these

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people that we need out there because there's too many people

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hiding right now in that closet and not wanting to come out and

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share their beauty and share what they can bring to this

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world because they keep themselves small. And that is

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not that you should blame your family. They do their best they

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have their beliefs and perception. It is your duty. It

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is your

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heart you say you have the power to go out there and find people

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and pursue your passion. Get out of your box. Be open minded, be

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open hearted and don't believe those negatives believe negative

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beliefs about yourself

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when it comes to weight loss, weight gain, self esteem, and

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especially your purpose in life.

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I hope you enjoyed my episode today. I hope it was not too

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triggering at merciful triggering to some degree.

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My name is Aurora. I'm your host here on the Borealis experience.

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You can contact me on Facebook. Aurora Eggert is my name or you

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join the group the Borealis experience. And if you have any

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requests regarding meditation or inspirational talk, I'm here to

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serve you. I hope you have a good rest of your day. take

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really good care of yourself and drink lots of water