ep.40 Your perception, their perception, truth, reality.

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Hello, and welcome to the Brianna's experience. I'm

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your host Aurora. And if you're looking for a place where you

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can rest and relax, unwind from a busy day, and just reflect

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about yourself and your life, then this is the place to be.

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I'll be had a good day so far, I hope you feel good. It's been

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really, really cold here in Canada. So I just went for a

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walk with my dogs. And now am inside by the fireplace, all

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bundled up.

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Yeah, so that's my life today. And I want to talk about your

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perception and their perception. Today, the day I realized that

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people perceive life on such different

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in such different ways on very different levels,

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I was able to show compassion again and to

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feel more understood or for more forgiving when people didn't

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understand my situation or my point.

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I'm going to give you an example.

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Look at siblings. And when the parents go through divorce,

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sometimes siblings have a very different view of what happened

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in the past and how they processed the divorce. And their

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overall experience with the family splitting up.

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It's been crazy for me, when I realized that my brother

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perceived our whole childhood,

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so different than I did. And it made me understand then why we

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are

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a word drifting apart at times, and not really understanding

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each other. And as soon as I understood how he saw the past,

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and how he is seeing the world,

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it made me feel so much better. And it opened my horizon as

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well.

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So when you look at your relationships, now, be it with

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your parents, or your friends, or your siblings, or even your

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partner, I find that such a critical tool to have.

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Because then they feel understood by you, and you don't

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feel as upset when they don't get you.

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Let's take another example, a couple watching a movie.

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And the girl is focusing on relationship stuff, or the

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actors that she recognizes from other movies. And the guy is

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just focused to see the next action movie and the next. I

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don't often violent scene

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like this is very generalized, but just as an example. So those

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two people would experience a movie on very different levels

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as well. And if we know that about a partner, then we know

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how to make him or her feel good and what they need and want and

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when we show them that for us an experience is very different

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than for them, then we can also create understanding from their

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side.

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Then look at it as an accident.

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It is crazy how when different people or different parties are

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involved

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in the open

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how different people perceive

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accidents, let's call it an accident, something big that

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happens. And

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it is not only the perception that is different, I feel it is

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also learned views and beliefs and how you grew up in life.

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There's tons of examples and tons of experiments with little

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children because people wanted to find out why there's children

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that are very confident on a playground, and why there's

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others that are way more anxious. So

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So they let the confident children and the scared anxious

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children walk over a ladder.

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Not a ladder like little wooden bridge that was a little

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unstable but not

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bad. And they observed that those children that were

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confident just crossed that bridge, and were totally okay

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with that. And the anxious children were very hesitant,

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very shy and didn't want to cross the bridge. And it is

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doctors who discovered that those children that were anxious

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had a way different perception, when it comes to balance, they

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had a

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not worse, like, not less good, I want to say, but just a

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different sense of balance. And this is why they were so scared

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and hesitant. And I know there's people out there who

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laugh about weaknesses. Sharon Floyd, we say in German, when

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someone hurts him or herself, and it just looks weird. And

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then it makes the other person laugh.

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A lot of people laugh about, so to say weaknesses when it comes

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to physical performance. And when you realize that those

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people have a very different brain, they have a very

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different perception of heights and

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speed, then

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we all understand why some people react to situations

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differently than others.

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And when it comes to dating, I find it very, very important

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that when you're out there and meeting people, that you not

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only focus on which impression impression you are leaving, and

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how you feel about the person. But also, if you can relate to

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how that person feels. There's people out there who are

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terrified of horror movies, and other people just find them

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super funny and awesome, and have no

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no trigger embedded at all, when it comes to the scary movies.

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And

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it doesn't mean that you shouldn't relate and start a

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relationship with someone who has a very different view on

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life or perception than you. But it just means that it will need

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more time and understanding then to get to know each other. And I

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feel a lot of the time, we see our views, we see our

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perception, and we're trying to like, I don't want to say

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condom,

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like a bag,

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to wrap it around that other person and to see them, like we

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want to see them. And whatever they do that is not in alignment

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with our beliefs, we usually ignore in the beginnings of

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romantic relationships, but also the things that then later on,

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get really, really annoying and hard to bear.

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And it can be such little things. But if it is so

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different to what you are used to it can be annoying to a point

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that you don't want to spend time with that person anymore.

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It can be noise, it can be tastes, it can be views on

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religion, it can be

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the way they relate to their parents, the way they see the

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future, the way they receive news from from politics.

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If we learn to be open if we learn to see through the eyes of

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the other person and to know Oh, that person went through trauma

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in the past and this is why she sees the world. How she does

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right now and maybe you guys can talk about it and help her out

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and make her aware of it and add lots of beautiful thing and

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people are most of the time very, very open to that as soon

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as they realize that you have a strong will and interest to

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understand the other person.

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In future episodes I will talk lots more about love and

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relationship and how I feel love is understanding the other

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person being cute.

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Yes about the other person. And this is just the first big tool

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I want to give you today. Because when we learn to see

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that a person is shaped by her experiences from the past, then

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we understand them better. And we can even help them to get out

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of that box.

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One last example I want to throw out there, look at the guy who

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is into a girl that is way out of his league.

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And he only thinks about his insecurities, and her beauty and

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her confidence. But maybe you remind her of her dad, and maybe

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she went through trauma with guys that are totally wrapped

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and sexy in the eye of the public. And maybe you'd be the

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perfect fit, because you could give her comfort and make her

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laugh and everything. But it is in this situation, your

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perception

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that holds you back

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in

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at talking to her and being curious about her and knowing

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what her story is, you just see her beauty, and that intimidates

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you. But you don't know her story, and everybody has a

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story. And maybe you are the one for her. Maybe you're not but

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give it a chance and get out of your little box and be curious

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about other people. And you'll be surprised how awesome the

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feedback as and how beautiful of friendships you can build and

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maybe even relationships.

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All right, this was the Borealis experience. I'm your host Aurora

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today was about perception. And I'm very excited to be out there

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tomorrow again for you. Until then, take good good care of

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yourself, drink lots of water. Maybe spoil yourself to

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meditation and take real good care of yourself.