Ep.39 Feeling triggered by others [relationships]

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Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience, I mailster. Aurora, and I'm very happy to be

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spending some time with you today. I hope you're doing well,

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I hope you are in a good place. And if you're not, I hope that

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by the end of the episode, you feel a little better about

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yourself able to reflect and just relax and recharge your

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batteries. If you haven't already, subscribe to my

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podcast. And if you really like my podcast, please leave me a

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review on Apple podcast, or a rating of five stars, it would

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mean the world to me, this is how other people can find the

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podcast, and how you can show appreciation. And it's a huge

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motivation for me. Today I want to talk about triggers. I feel

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that word is so heavily used out there at the moment. We feel

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triggered. We use it as an excuse, we use it to explain

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ourselves. And yes, sometimes we really feel triggered by people.

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Today though, I want to talk about feeling triggered by the

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same sex. So if you identify as a woman, and you see pictures of

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women online, or ladies being very expressive and sensual and

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happy with themselves in the real world, do you feel

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triggered. And same goes for guys, if you are living in your

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masculine energy, and you see guys lifting heavy weights,

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having a body that you always dreamt of, and reaching the

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goals that you always dreamt of reaching. And you just feel like

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holy shit, I want to puke in a corner. Those people are so

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awful, they're so shallow, and your ego comes up with all kinds

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of negativity about that person. This is a sign that you feel

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triggered, you have a strong emotional reaction. And you have

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thoughts that are negative and derogative. like making the

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other person small, and you feeling superior. Because you

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have values you don't need to sell yourself online like they

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do you know all that kind of jazz. And why do we feel

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triggered by other people, they push our buttons, they remind us

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of pain that we successfully run away from when we don't see

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those people but when we see those people we are being

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reminded maybe of a past version of yourself a past life or maybe

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a present life that you're not 100% okay with. So in the tone

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of my voice if you listen to my podcast here a little bit longer

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already, you know me, you can sense already that this topic

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has to do with you. And nobody out there. Not a pole dancing

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girl, not a weightlifting guy. It has to do with you and how

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you feel about yourself. If you are a confident person, if you

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are a person who likes competition, and who feels very

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secure in their skin, and you see a person who's being

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successful out there. A normal and usual reaction is like holy

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shit, that is cool. I feel inspired. I want to do the same.

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I have the tools in my tool bag. I have my confidence. I have

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myself I have my back. I will do something similar. Not the same

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thing. Not copy pasting. But I'm going to get out there and feel

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inspired by this person. If as mentioned at the beginning, your

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thoughts are Oh my god, what is stares, I don't want to see

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this, I want to delete this person.

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I want to engage in my usual How do you say escape behavior like

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binge eating or binge watching TV or going for a run for the

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wrong reasons doing exercise just for the frustration to go

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away, then you feel triggered, and you are dealing with a very

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low small self esteem. So how can you feel inspired by another

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person who is obviously succeeding more in life? Or

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everything they do, then you are how can you even get there. And

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I will tell you a very easy trick. A very simple little mind

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shift that you can do. And it will make you feel better and

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make you feel inspired. This little trick, I want to call it

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the instant self boost Trek and tails, or however you say that

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in English, that you put yourself in their shoes. And you

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see that they got to be that self confident and successful in

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life. being successful is very subjective as well. But they got

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to experience all those things because they put hard work into

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it. focus and dedication. And they sacrificed so much to get

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to where they're at. Now look at yourself, look at your goals.

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Look at your dreams. Are you doing the same thing? Are you

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sacrificing? Are you being consistent? Do you love yourself

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enough? Do you trust yourself enough to go out there and chase

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your dreams and chase your goals. And very quickly, you

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will see Oh, I'm in victim mentality. I'm trying to make

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another person feel small, just because of my little ego not

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wanting to feel challenged. So what that little switch does is

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that it makes you aware of your ego of your thoughts of you

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know, all that is happening inside of you, maybe even shitty

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feelings and stomach ache or headache. But then you know how

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to shift how to drop into your heart space. And this is such an

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important switch to have with you at all times. Every day,

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every hour of your life to be aware, okay, am I being ego

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driven and fearful right now? Am I trusting myself Mike capacity,

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and driven by love. You know, there's people out there who are

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very successful in turning frustration, anger, feeling of

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in ag adequacy, into success, but they are not successful. In

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the long run, they're successful, a little bit like a

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shooting star, and then they fade because it's not with,

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they're not driven with the right intentions. A person who

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is driven from the heart to truly believe in themself will

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have very, very different outcomes when it comes to your

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job when it comes to your hobbies, your dreams, your

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relationships, everything in life. So next time you see a

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sexy lady posing out there loving, you know, her

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sensuality, expressing herself and you just start boiling. Just

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know that this is the ignition, the high energy that you can put

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into yourself to learn to express yourself in a similar

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way. And for you guys out there the same thing. If you're

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insecure with your body and you see people lifting weights and

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being successful and they have so much money and they have the

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love of their life, right standing right next to them.

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See it as you turn The key in your ignition, you know that

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initial route that high energy and transform it into something

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productive instead of getting lost in negative thinking and

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self loathing and victim mentality, starts seeing these

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people as expanders, you know that trying to expand your view,

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they expanding your comfort zone, they're stretching it,

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instead of seeing them as a threat. And you will navigate

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through life way happier. You will experience life on a deeper

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level, you will connect to yourself on a deeper level. And

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this is just a huge lesson that I've learned a year ago or

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something maybe two years ago, and it really changed how I see

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myself and made me realize how lazy I was and how, like

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unconscious I was and confused about how to reach Gold's you

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have to work for it. You have to invest into it. You have to

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believe in yourself. You have to get to know yourself. And when

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there is something triggering you, it tells me or you from now

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on something about yourself something you can look at.

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Question Hey, why am I feeling unsecure? Can I invest a little

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bit more into myself? Can I investigate a little further and

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find out what is making me feel insecure? It is very important

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tool to have in your tool bag, especially in times of social

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media and heavy users of stories and reels and igtv and whatnot.

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Tick Tock we have as well. So I hope you receive this message. I

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care so deeply about you. If you want to connect with me, message

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me on Facebook, Aurora Eggert as my name or on Instagram the

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Borealis experience. And if you have questions if you want to

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start a discussion with me about it, feel free to contact me. If

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you have an episode request. Just shoot me a message. Thank

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you so much for listening. Bye Bye, Aurora.