Episode 38
Ep. 38 How to NOT burn your candle from both ends Interview w/ Broc Higginson
Hello there,
You want to be a good father, a good son, a good husband, a good friend, a good Leader, a good person in society.
How can you do all this without burning yourself out ?!
To be "caught" in the provider role is a tricky part of life for a lot of men out there. They are thriving in it and very successful at it but what if the body says : NO !! all of a sudden.
Today I feel very excited and blessed to have Broc Higginson with me.
He will be sharing his intense story about how his cancer changed his life and how his ongoing drive to support others and inspire others is keeping him sane and positive throughout those challenging times.
We also talk about the importance of finding out about each others love language. Not only in romantic relationships we can experience break throughs but also at work with our co workers or with our employees.
enjoy this very uplifting episode
with love
A.
ps: meet Broc here : https://www.facebook.com/broc.higginson
Support this super cool and informative, advertise free show
‘Buy me a coffee’ and send some appreciation my way
Click link below:
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/auroraborealis
Thank you !!!!
I’m very excited to guide you closer to your real, authentic self.
My vision is to support your growth.
This is a place where you can recharge your batteries, reconnect to yourself,
really get to know yourself and find out what steps you can take to untangle
yourself from a situation you don’t wish to be in. I invite you to get to know yourself better in order for you to make the right choices for yourself in the future.
Learn more at
Join the Yurt Experience -Yoga Classes and Coaching here
https://app.ubindi.com/Aurora.Eggert
Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter become the strongest most authentic version of yourself.
Let’s dive in and find out more about this juicy topic that will most likely affect you in one way or another.
In this episode and many other episodes I touch on topics that I usually work on with my clients. Here in my podcast it will be targeted to a broad spectrum of people. If you'd like to go more into depth with a topic I address, reach out to me.
If you love what you learned, be sure to hit that follow button so you never miss a future episode, and make sure to leave a review to help me reach more listeners just like you looking to follow their inner truth.
Find the episode that suits your mood best here:
https://the-borealis-experience.captivate.fm
Give some love to the show and make it easier for people to find my podcast in leaving a review here
https://ratethispodcast.com/aurora
Do you need a one on one chat or regular meetings with me to stay accountable on your journey ?
Book a free 20 mins meeting with me
Just message me on:
https://auroraeggertcoaching.com/contact/
And join
https://www.facebook.com/auroraeggertcoaching/
Have a podcast episode topic request ?
If I am missing a topic. Please sent me a topic request
#wellbeing
#empowerment
#lifecoach
#newepisode
#mentalhealth
#beyoufearlessly
This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:
Podcorn - https://podcorn.com/privacy
Transcript
Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis
Unknown:experience. I'm so excited to have Broc with me today, he will
Unknown:share a very, exceptional story. And yeah, I picked him out
Unknown:because he's also very active on Facebook and posts a lot of
Unknown:very, like inspirational posts and videos. His latest video
Unknown:here that I watched is about the importance to know your limits,
Unknown:and to not burn yourself out sometimes when we very ambitious
Unknown:and very driven, we forget that Yeah, we have a body to take
Unknown:care of we might have a family, we have loved ones, that we have
Unknown:to spend time with a want to spend time with. Not only for
Unknown:their sake, but for all our own emotional and mental well being.
Unknown:So yeah, I'm very, very happy that Brock made the time for us
Unknown:to be here today. And I would like to invite him to share a
Unknown:little bit of background story of what ignited all these
Unknown:beautiful gratitude
Unknown:videos and other important messages that you are sharing
Unknown:with us right now. So that people yeah, learn about you and
Unknown:what is driving you. Welcome to the show.
Unknown:Thank you so much. Thanks for having me.
Unknown:They said
Unknown:it's kind of different getting the opportunity to just speak
Unknown:about it. Because usually I'm just reading messages back to
Unknown:people that have said something or a comment on. I called them
Unknown:the Tuesday tips and my gratitude Wednesday videos that
Unknown:I'll post out there, just on Facebook. But the journey
Unknown:started just over a year ago. For me, a lot of the messages
Unknown:that I come up with only just kind of been in reflection over
Unknown:this last year, I've gone through a difficult journey with
Unknown:health. And I was definitely as you had mentioned that a lot of
Unknown:people kind of burn the candle at both ends and are working
Unknown:hard to move forward and perhaps their career or whatever it may
Unknown:be that their passions, their passion, maybe. And I love my
Unknown:work. And I love what I did to do every day for work, but I
Unknown:can't be your only thing and come to that realization over
Unknown:time. So if I go back and a little bit and give you a bit of
Unknown:my background, I live here in Lethbridge. And I grew up in
Unknown:southern Alberta. I went to the University here and a couple
Unknown:other universities, colleges have your vehicles out front.
Unknown:Unfortunately, not in the mountains like you right now.
Unknown:But
Unknown:yeah, so I went to university here and then went to university
Unknown:ODC at Queen's University and did my masters down in the
Unknown:States at Gonzaga, and
Unknown:had the opportunity to come back home and teach. And I then
Unknown:became a principal fairly quickly
Unknown:27 I got my first administrative position as a principal, and,
Unknown:and have been doing that since. But I've got the chance to build
Unknown:some other businesses in between there and get the chance to
Unknown:work. And I guess you would say coach or mentor people that are
Unknown:going through those similar experiences of building teams
Unknown:out and trying to change school cultures or trying to change
Unknown:your business culture. And I've been blessed to be able to do
Unknown:that. And so, unfortunately, last year, I was having social
Unknown:distancing drinks for some of my buddies. My work is at our cabin
Unknown:in British Columbia with her mom doing some painting we had just
Unknown:kind of finished up building and
Unknown:I wasn't feeling well and
Unknown:the guys had left for the evening and I had a really bad
Unknown:stomachache. It's maybe I thought maybe I had food
Unknown:poisoning or something. And
Unknown:so I decided, you know what, I can't sleep I'm not feeling
Unknown:well. I'm just gonna shower and get ready and go to work and go
Unknown:to work a few hours early. So on my way to the washroom just was
Unknown:heading over to the bathroom and I passed out. I had a massive
Unknown:what they call a seizure.
Unknown:And I passed out in the washroom and when the ladies that work up
Unknown:to assistance that take care of me in the school, and
Unknown:and when I wasn't there because you stand there the first first
Unknown:one of the day
Unknown:They knew something was up and then called my emergency
Unknown:contacts that are like, thank goodness, we don't have cellular
Unknown:coverage. Otherwise it worked too much. And
Unknown:they sent my emergency contacts my parents, and what am I, and
Unknown:it's over to my house, and they found me in the bathroom. So
Unknown:I think I'm pretty lucky. I know, a minute either way. Now I
Unknown:might not have made it into the bathroom could have been hurt
Unknown:somewhere else. Or another couple of minutes later, I would
Unknown:have been in the shower, and I could have drowned. So no, Count
Unknown:your blessings that way and just say, you know, I was fortunate
Unknown:that happened. And they were able to get me stable here in
Unknown:Lethbridge. And I got to thank the docs there for that. And
Unknown:then was flown to the ICU unit in foothills by stars. And
Unknown:there, they got me stabilized. And they found that add a couple
Unknown:of brain tumors from there. So
Unknown:because of my seizure, I had to wait quite a while before they
Unknown:did take me in for surgery. news about six weeks because I just
Unknown:wasn't strong enough to go through this surgery. And let's
Unknown:move on brain surgery and had two tumors removed one about the
Unknown:size of an orange, and then the other one about the size of a
Unknown:walnut. So
Unknown:it was a different experience.
Unknown:I had no telltale signs of having cancer beforehand.
Unknown:Healthy, like you said, I would admit that I was a workaholic.
Unknown:But I had no issues with staying healthy and being able to handle
Unknown:a 16 hour days.
Unknown:Not just for work, but doing things for the community
Unknown:fundraising and things like that. But yeah, it definitely
Unknown:was a surprise to me, my family. And ever since it's been a
Unknown:journey of recovery. And I've had the opportunity from there
Unknown:to, like I said, share some tips, I guess you'd say, and in
Unknown:my experience going through this and what I've learned and some
Unknown:of the lessons I've learned throughout so that's, that's the
Unknown:year in a nutshell. And now I'm in a situation where I'm kind of
Unknown:in recovery. But as any cancer patient would know, it's more
Unknown:like, you just kind of wait month to month to hear what's
Unknown:going to be coming next you have an MRI, and then you wait a few
Unknown:days and you hear or you sit down in front of zoom or you
Unknown:meet with your oncology team. And they tell you, okay, this is
Unknown:where we are, this is what we see. And so you're doing this
Unknown:for the next month, or we're going to see you I'm hoping in
Unknown:my meeting on August 3 that they're going to say you know
Unknown:what we did to push up your MRI step every three months now,
Unknown:which is hopeful and which means that things are looking good. So
Unknown:that's, that's where I hope on that at the end of the month
Unknown:here and then beginning of August. So
Unknown:just as kind of a basic of what's happened to me over this
Unknown:last year. But
Unknown:yeah, like you said, a lot of people ask Brock, how do you
Unknown:stay positive and upbeat about your situation and I've kind of
Unknown:learned to say you know, the things that you're not in
Unknown:control of you don't need to worry about in your life.
Unknown:The things that you can control. The biggest one I've always
Unknown:talked about this with my staff and, and friends and family is
Unknown:is your attitude. Nobody else is in charge of that. But yourself.
Unknown:You, you know, Charles Darwin was a famous quote, it's like,
Unknown:life is 90 or 10% what happens to you 90% on how you react to
Unknown:it. And, you know, that's the truth like 10% there's no way I
Unknown:would have known that I had cancer, that's 10% of what I'm
Unknown:not in control of. But I'm a draw at 90% of everything else
Unknown:how I'm going to react to it. So I'm in charge of what I intake
Unknown:into my body and eating healthy exercising, keep a positive
Unknown:mindset and you're doing my best to stay as positive as I can be
Unknown:but also support my family through this experience because
Unknown:you know, I'm not the only one going through it. They are going
Unknown:through it just as much as I am so
Unknown:yeah, that's the basics.
Unknown:Some friends come in and say hi, sorry. She's walking by my son
Unknown:is coming up. Gonna Say
Unknown:hello.
Unknown:See you guys
Unknown:sorry, they're just down asleep over on the trap last night so
Unknown:I'll just come back with a sleeping bag so Oh, that's so
Unknown:adore to wind down the river yesterday. So they're pretty
Unknown:excited.
Unknown:Wow, this is
Unknown:yeah man. Thank you so much for for sharing.
Unknown:The whole story with us again, and it must have been such an
Unknown:intense, like moment to to know that, okay said, My body is not
Unknown:healthy, my mind is still, you know functioning I'm, I'm driven
Unknown:to continue but all of a sudden you have to take care of your
Unknown:body now. And maybe before the diagnosis, you were taking care
Unknown:of your body, you were exercising and drinking and
Unknown:sleeping enough. But then all of a sudden, you've realized, okay,
Unknown:I have to do more, I have to
Unknown:be more careful with myself. And I can see that a very ambitious
Unknown:person, a person with a big heart who's caring for others
Unknown:might feel selfish at times and doing things for yourself. And I
Unknown:feel a lot of men are trapped in this caring provider role. And
Unknown:then when they do something for themselves, they either have
Unknown:their children or their spouse complaining that they want to
Unknown:spend more time with them, or their internal beliefs are
Unknown:telling them, hey, you're being selfish right now. And you can't
Unknown:spend alone time. Or you can go on a hike by yourself.
Unknown:How was it for you? Like, do you have dedicated self care time?
Unknown:Right now or? You tough? Now, it's definitely more balanced
Unknown:than it was while I was working extensively right now I'm off on
Unknown:disability, of course, and still in recovery. But I'll agree with
Unknown:you in that situation, I'd often feel guilty
Unknown:if I tried to do anything specifically for myself.
Unknown:Because I was very much caught up in the provider role doing as
Unknown:much as I can at this kind of what I call the high earning
Unknown:years. For most people during I'm 40. Now, so I'm very busy at
Unknown:this wall was very busy at that time trying to
Unknown:see expression, make hay while the sun shines do as much as I
Unknown:can to provide for my family. And I got caught up in that
Unknown:mentality. Definitely. And so my downtime, lend up being, I
Unknown:guess, an overlap of social time and work. That makes sense. I
Unknown:would, you know, say, I'm going to have a beer or drink or sit
Unknown:down or something like that with a friend, but typically was a
Unknown:business meeting, if that makes sense. So it was never really
Unknown:any personal downtime. I was never really, you know, just
Unknown:going for a walk by myself or
Unknown:I would not say I'm great at meditating. My wife really works
Unknown:on those kinds of things, and has tried to teach me to do
Unknown:those things more. And but I was quite reflective, always I would
Unknown:journal and reflect. And I would always have a gratitude journal
Unknown:with me and just write things down. But my main mind would
Unknown:never ever turn off. I was always thinking of what else
Unknown:could I do in order to support my family, take care of my
Unknown:family, and do those things. And my wife's been really working
Unknown:with me over this last year on how to, you know, just realize
Unknown:you don't have to always be in that state of mind will be okay,
Unknown:you know what it doesn't matter about, you know, if we have no
Unknown:big home on the coolies, and a cabin and BC and those types of
Unknown:things, just realize that the most important thing is just is
Unknown:our family and our kids. And so that's been, like I said
Unknown:something that I've had to come to grips with, even though she
Unknown:totally understands that I love my job, which I really do, I get
Unknown:a great deal of personal satisfaction from it. And also a
Unknown:great deal of satisfaction and seeing a difference that I can
Unknown:make in that role. So yeah, that's it's a constant, kind of
Unknown:battling back and forth. But it has been an adjustment but also
Unknown:just saying, okay, there's my cap, and I can only fit so much
Unknown:in my cup. I have to make sure that the big rocks of my family
Unknown:and my friends and my just work work at school have to fit in
Unknown:there first, before I can do any of the other things of, you
Unknown:know, supporting others, building real estate teams are
Unknown:supporting other companies or helping charity organizations
Unknown:even though I get satisfaction from those. They just, there's
Unknown:not enough room in the cup. If that makes sense.
Unknown:Ah, so I just got to make sure that those those big rocks are
Unknown:taken care of first. Yeah, yeah, I love that picture. And it
Unknown:helps a lot of people to, to realize, like, Where am I
Unknown:putting my energy? And where am I not putting any energy and
Unknown:maybe wondering why relationships are falling apart,
Unknown:you know, for guys not in your case, but for guys who are
Unknown:caught in the provider role again, and then they come home
Unknown:and they feel like, oh, they're not really, I don't know, they
Unknown:don't fit in into the family anymore, because they are doing
Unknown:their own thing now that you're gone and just focusing on making
Unknown:money. It's, it's a very tough balance. And
Unknown:a lot of people like you who have to go through and tense,
Unknown:like situations
Unknown:have the possibility to to have that reset, and to see, okay, I
Unknown:have to change things. And a lot of people who don't go through
Unknown:through pain, keep doing and burn themselves out and then
Unknown:face divorce. And, ah, but but both like, I don't want to say I
Unknown:wish cancer on a person, but but both situations are just as
Unknown:painful. Would you say that this situation brought you closer to
Unknown:your spirituality? Like closer to yourself? Again?
Unknown:Yeah, you know, what, it's, it's interesting. Um, as I go
Unknown:through, and I reflect on, you know, kind of the lessons that
Unknown:I've learned well, some of the lessons I learned First off is
Unknown:that how much stronger my my family is that I thought they
Unknown:were strong My wife is
Unknown:where I was thought that I had to be that rock, and I was the
Unknown:person that was trying to carry the family through things.
Unknown:It's probably the exact opposite. She's She's really the
Unknown:one that is, is the leader in the household and the leader of
Unknown:our family, and where we're trying to learn how to adjust to
Unknown:that now, and learn the balance with that, within that now, as
Unknown:far as spirituality and, and reflection on those components.
Unknown:I think that there's been a real transition as to what most
Unknown:people define is spirituality, if that makes sense.
Unknown:I think that if you do any studying or research of what if
Unknown:specifically, what people would say is religion has been in, in
Unknown:Canada in particular, there's been a very big transition.
Unknown:Never has there been a time as long as the research hasn't
Unknown:changed lots in the last 10 years, but I'm sure that the
Unknown:change has only increased. Never has there been a time where
Unknown:fewer people have gone to church?
Unknown:And never has there been a time that people have wanted, or
Unknown:expressed spirituality ever in Canada, in the last 80, or the
Unknown:last, I think it's 65 years, you'd have to talk to a doctor
Unknown:maybe at the universities, the premier sociologist of religion
Unknown:in the country and North America. But that's the basics
Unknown:of his courses, just that fact that people are just yearning
Unknown:for, for spirituality. But that doesn't fall within the confines
Unknown:of what is typical religion anymore. It's individualized.
Unknown:That is, that's just the entire trend in in the world. And
Unknown:society today is individualization of everything.
Unknown:You know, I want something to be specific to me, I'm looking for
Unknown:something that's specific for me.
Unknown:Like I said, when I do mentorship or coaching with
Unknown:people, they experienced a lot of difficulty with with their
Unknown:teams often or their, their organization's because they've
Unknown:transitioned to having employees that millennials now that are
Unknown:used to things being individualized to them, and then
Unknown:feeling that it's a connection to them, in particular. And
Unknown:that's very different. When teams and organizations get
Unknown:large, whether they're, you know, if they're five or six,
Unknown:you can still maintain almost like a family mentality, if that
Unknown:makes sense. And you can find that connection point. But if
Unknown:you get to a company that becomes let's say, or an
Unknown:organization that becomes, you know, 80 people, or 100 people
Unknown:or even 1500 people, how do you maintain connection? And how do
Unknown:you maintain, like you said that individuality spirituality, that
Unknown:family on such a large scale, and so, you know, that's an
Unknown:adjustment for
Unknown:Everybody, and I've been fortunate to help groups go
Unknown:through that. But for me, it's been the exact opposite. How do
Unknown:you go back to making sure when you go home that there's that
Unknown:connection, and making sure that you're on the same page with,
Unknown:with your spouse, with your life partner, whoever it may be, and
Unknown:with your children, right, especially if you're not there
Unknown:with them enough. And, you know, that's been the realization for
Unknown:me over this time is that, you know, time Trumps all things,
Unknown:and being there with them, Trumps all things and, and touch
Unknown:and field as I'm very much. You know, as the love languages go,
Unknown:I'm definitely somebody that, you know, is expresses love
Unknown:through touching emotion, that way, I still hold my kids, even
Unknown:if they don't want to be held, I don't care, my son, he's eight,
Unknown:he said, he'll come give me a hug.
Unknown:He's in middle school now. And he has no issue with running
Unknown:over with his buddies around and giving me a hug, which is
Unknown:awesome. For me, I still feel great that my junior high boys
Unknown:are not embarrassed at all to give us down a hug. And know my
Unknown:little girl, she's just, you know, it just will sit in your
Unknown:lap all day long if she could write. So, you know, I love that
Unknown:because it speaks to my love language. And, you know, you got
Unknown:to connect that way. But it's quite awkward in the workplace,
Unknown:if you're going around, you know, it depends on your work
Unknown:situation. But I had zero issues, I will COVID was a
Unknown:different experience. But pre COVID, I would sit there and the
Unknown:buses would show up at school and every kid would come up and
Unknown:give me a hug. And so, you know, at my pocket would be full for
Unknown:for an entire day right then and there with, you know, hundreds
Unknown:of kids getting off the bus giving you hugs, and you get the
Unknown:chance to say goodbye to them, give them high fives and stuff
Unknown:like that throughout the day. So it doesn't get much better than
Unknown:that. Just imagine if we lived in a place where the Walmart
Unknown:greeter you felt good enough with them that you can give them
Unknown:a hug every time you went into the store. Right? That's what it
Unknown:is, like, for me when I get to go to work. And, you know, I'm
Unknown:pretty blessed that way, not only with the kids, because
Unknown:they're younger. But even when I was at high school, and at the
Unknown:end of the year, the big guys that I would coach and and teach
Unknown:and I was that I was principal of would go across the stage at
Unknown:grad and pick me up off the ground and big bear hugs in
Unknown:there, you know, these big, these big men now that are 18
Unknown:that, you know, are bigger than I am just a skinny rat compared
Unknown:to them. So yeah, it was just, you know, it's always been
Unknown:awesome that way. And
Unknown:it's it's a different experience with staff too, though. But I
Unknown:consider all of them, you know, somebody I truly care for. And
Unknown:they know that and when this experience took place, they've
Unknown:been there for me they reached out as much as they could, they
Unknown:would come and sit on the front desk like I am right now. And
Unknown:socially distance appropriately and, and be there just to spend
Unknown:time with me.
Unknown:At the start when I would still have seizures, I'm on seizure
Unknown:meditation. In fact, it's great here today that I haven't had
Unknown:yet and then I just go through and just make sure that I'm
Unknown:doing okay because they were just trying to get my meds kind
Unknown:of regulated at that time. So yeah, they're just yeah, I'm
Unknown:blessed in every way and I feel fortunate so Huh, oh, my
Unknown:goodness, that's so precious. What you're sharing here with us
Unknown:like the first thing that that I remembered now is that you said
Unknown:you can control things that are out of our control. And the
Unknown:second or there were many messages in between but what you
Unknown:touched on right now with the love languages is such a big eye
Unknown:opener for for a lot of men and women out there and it is so
Unknown:beautiful. I like to to listen to you and use say okay, this is
Unknown:your love language and and that makes me get to know you on a
Unknown:deeper level as well. And the same thing, and even more like
Unknown:intense it goes when you're in a romantic relationship or when it
Unknown:is among friends
Unknown:that you start to to read your partner or your friend and how
Unknown:they understand love how they receive love, and it's a very
Unknown:powerful tool to have in your tool bag.
Unknown:It is definitely and you know even even as a leader in any
Unknown:role, yeah understanding our how your hierarchy
Unknown:Staff. And like you said, your friends and family, how they
Unknown:would like you said, what their love languages are how they like
Unknown:to receive gratitude.
Unknown:You know, there's some staff that love that coffee in the
Unknown:morning that you picked up for them, that, that shows that you
Unknown:went out of your way to show your appreciation and your
Unknown:gratitude for them. Other people just wanted a caring note that
Unknown:that's kind of to the point of, like the words of affirmation, I
Unknown:saw you working with the kids the other day, and you were
Unknown:incredible. And it needs to be specific, it needs to be
Unknown:heartfelt. But when you connect with somebody, that way, they
Unknown:know how much they care about you and how much you'll go out
Unknown:of their way, you'll go out of your way to support them. And
Unknown:then they start to take an interest in what your love
Unknown:languages, right. And they perhaps they don't use that
Unknown:terminology, but they learn on how you like to be lifted up or
Unknown:supported. whatever that might be, like you said, so whether
Unknown:that be, you know, just quality time, which is my wife's love
Unknown:language, I know that. And that's where it was a big
Unknown:struggle when I was a workaholic. Because I would work
Unknown:until we got home, I would get home late at night, kids have
Unknown:already eaten, I would get the chance to, you know, the kids
Unknown:kisses and hugs Good night and say good night. And then Steph,
Unknown:and I would be usually tired enough to get ready to go to
Unknown:bed. Or I'd step into a little bit more work. But like you
Unknown:said, I realized that, you know, in order for this relationship
Unknown:to work, and that's what I realized over this this past
Unknown:year, that I need to make sure that I've carved out that time
Unknown:for us to just go for a walk with a dog and talk.
Unknown:And that means without the kids. So there's going to be another
Unknown:walk with the kids. So that we're all spending time together
Unknown:as a family. But yeah, just learning those things.
Unknown:And that gets those goes that goes along with some of the
Unknown:message that I tried to share on Tuesday tips and gratitude.
Unknown:Wednesday's is just, you know, some of the things you got to
Unknown:realize that you got to, you got to do before, I just said, you
Unknown:get put in a situation like I've been placed. And
Unknown:and, yeah, that's the basics of what I do on those Tuesdays. And
Unknown:Wednesdays is just going through messages like that. And
Unknown:hopefully, you can do those things before you're forced to,
Unknown:like I said, or you don't get the opportunity to do them at
Unknown:all. Like, it's very easily that I could have just passed away.
Unknown:And I left a lot of things undone in my life. So, you know,
Unknown:I just be thankful that I get this, like you said the second
Unknown:chance to do it. So yeah, yeah. So what I hear is that with the
Unknown:love languages, you can intensify it work better your
Unknown:relationships, at work, even like you can be a leader, with
Unknown:the heart and in learning their language, they will learn your
Unknown:language, and the work is going to be even more productive
Unknown:people are going to go out of their way in order to reach
Unknown:success. And they're going to feel so deeply appreciated. And
Unknown:it's just a work environment that we should all thrive for.
Unknown:And another thing that I hear here is that you are setting
Unknown:yourself apart from the warrior.
Unknown:And you join the kings, the men who live in the king energy I
Unknown:read such a beautiful article here the other day about
Unknown:warriors being you know, the go getters, ambitious men and the
Unknown:guys who get things done. And the king is the person who at
Unknown:the same time
Unknown:cares so deeply about his queen, and about what she needs, the
Unknown:way she receives love, and deeply cares about his community
Unknown:and lift other people up and is not only concerned about his
Unknown:ambition, and to have that awakening yet to see all of a
Unknown:sudden, oh my god, like my my wife felt neglected for all
Unknown:these years and was nagging and was you know, maybe not your
Unknown:wife but some women start Oh, no, no, there's death. There's
Unknown:definitely times where we had conversations in which I have to
Unknown:be honest Aurora that I was just like, put my head down and be
Unknown:like, you're 100% correct.
Unknown:I don't know if I will realize that as much as I should have.
Unknown:But no, I was definitely that person. That situation where I
Unknown:was not given enough time to my family into my
Unknown:Life. Yeah. And
Unknown:well, definitely learning that lesson in no going forward that
Unknown:I need to ensure that there's that balance. But I love that
Unknown:analogy. But I really would just put it down to what you have is
Unknown:your definition of a leader. Honestly,
Unknown:I believe in it. Like I believe in servant leadership, I believe
Unknown:that a leader is there to serve their, their employees, their
Unknown:family, whoever it may be their friends, is that if you're not
Unknown:doing your job, right, as as a leader, then your employees
Unknown:can't do their job or right. And I, I believe in that servant
Unknown:mentality that I would never ask anybody on my staff to ever do
Unknown:anything that I wouldn't do first, or lead by example.
Unknown:So I think that, that goes back to just like you said, being
Unknown:there for your people showing them that you care, and then it
Unknown:becomes reciprocal. And that's way, I hope you never go into an
Unknown:environment like and I've said this in, in Tuesday, tips like,
Unknown:life is too short not to love what you're doing. So if you're
Unknown:going to be spending, essentially a third of what your
Unknown:a third of your time working, that's what you know, the
Unknown:typical environment is, with eight hours a day sleeping for
Unknown:eight hours a day at work, and maybe a few hours a day with
Unknown:family, then you better love what you're doing. And you
Unknown:better love being around the people that you're with, if not
Unknown:quit, honestly quit. And I don't say this often. But I've left
Unknown:very successful positions in the past, because the people that I
Unknown:should be looking out to, I was not inspired by them. In fact, I
Unknown:felt I I don't know if I want to say not disgusted. But I felt
Unknown:like they were not the type of person that I aspired to be. And
Unknown:so, you know, if I, if I can't look up to the leadership of the
Unknown:person that is responsible for me, that is my leader, then I
Unknown:don't want to be there. And I'm fortunate here in Lethbridge
Unknown:right now that that my superintendent and who's in
Unknown:charge of the Lethbridge School District, she is a true warrior
Unknown:as you might put it, and she inspires and she works so hard.
Unknown:She has such a big heart, she's
Unknown:reached out to me many times to see if I need any support. And,
Unknown:and I know what's genuine. And those are the kind of people you
Unknown:want to go work for. And those are the types of environments
Unknown:you want to be in. And, but I've been in other places where like
Unknown:you said, you might feel appreciated at times. But you
Unknown:also know that that's not genuinely coming from that
Unknown:person, they haven't made an investment in you. So, you know,
Unknown:I always try to go into any of those situations with an
Unknown:investment, knowing that not only not only am I going to do
Unknown:everything I can to this person, but I know that that's going to
Unknown:come back to me from them as well.
Unknown:I'm going to share a tiny story if I can, because I think it
Unknown:really pertains to it.
Unknown:There's an old teacher and he is a mentor of my wife's actually.
Unknown:And he's a teacher out in Tabor. And he was a biology teacher at
Unknown:high school. And
Unknown:there's a math teacher that was across the hallway. And they
Unknown:came up to a student and said, Why did you do so poorly on your
Unknown:your math test? The student was quite academic and did very
Unknown:well. Why did you do so bad on your math test on on Tuesday?
Unknown:Usually you do, you usually perform much better than this.
Unknown:Well, I also had a biology test on that day. And I didn't want
Unknown:to disappoint Mr. Cleveland. And so they obviously spent more
Unknown:time studying and preparing for the exam for Mr. Cleveland
Unknown:because they had that emotional connection, that relationship
Unknown:with Him. And so goes right back to what you said, like you have
Unknown:an environment that's significantly more productive.
Unknown:an environment that is has reduced sickness has people that
Unknown:are happy, less stress, when there's connection there. But
Unknown:that needs to be individualized to each person. And the
Unknown:leadership's job is to find what that connection is. And to
Unknown:encourage you to create an environment where that will
Unknown:thrive. And if you haven't done the job successfully, you're
Unknown:gonna have internal strife stress, you're gonna have
Unknown:fighting, you're gonna have an unsuccessful company, you're
Unknown:gonna have an unsuccessful environment and you're gonna
Unknown:have clients
Unknown:that aren't going to be happy with you. So for me, my
Unknown:experience is going to be parents that are upset children
Unknown:that are upset, kids that aren't learning stuff that are dating
Unknown:along, you know, in a school that's in disarray, as opposed
Unknown:to a school that staff care about each other parents are,
Unknown:it's
Unknown:exceptionally happy that their kids are, are going to their
Unknown:school or going to that school, and they trust you with their
Unknown:most prized. I don't want to say possession, but the things that
Unknown:they love the very most in this world. That's an honor for
Unknown:somebody that allow you to do that. It's like, man, I can't
Unknown:think of something better than this, like in life then to be
Unknown:trusted enough with us somebody's child. That's, that's
Unknown:pretty special. So, and, yeah, like I said, I'm lucky to have
Unknown:something inspires me each day to get up and go to work.
Unknown:I always joke my, my brother in law, he's in oil and gas, but
Unknown:his both his parents were teachers. And he always says,
Unknown:Why is it that teachers always say, I'm going to school, but
Unknown:I'm not going to work, where he goes, when I say I'm, I'm going,
Unknown:I'm going to work. teachers say, I'm going to school. You know
Unknown:what, for most of us, we absolutely love what we do.
Unknown:And I hope that's the case for anybody in whatever they do. And
Unknown:that they're proud of what they do that they stand up and have a
Unknown:voice and say, you know, hey, I'm proud of what I do every
Unknown:day, and I make a difference. And so, you know, that's why I
Unknown:think some people become a workaholic, too, because they
Unknown:love what they do. And they put those other things on the
Unknown:backburner and they still need to be able to love themselves as
Unknown:much as they love the kids that they're making a difference for.
Unknown:So yeah. Oh, man, this was such a nice little story that you
Unknown:shared here at the end. And, and I, I can see already how
Unknown:everybody will understand your message that Yeah, hard driven,
Unknown:not ego driven is the future. And this is how we can build
Unknown:very strong families and communities and strong, thriving
Unknown:businesses. And I'm so endlessly grateful for you to making the
Unknown:time today and sharing your light equestrianism and yeah,
Unknown:I'm excited to share this episode around with with
Unknown:everybody
Unknown:will be feeling touched at the heart. Thank you so much for
Unknown:being here.
Unknown:My pleasure, all the best and can't wait to see it all the