Ep. 39 All the little choices you make [ self-awareness 101]

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Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora, life coach and companion

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on this beautiful journey called life. First off, I am fighting

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spring allergies. So please don't worry, I just didn't feel

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the need to skip my episode with you today for you today. And

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second, I want to Yeah, express my gratitude to you. I was on a

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two week vacation, road tripping through Canada 3300 kilometers.

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And yeah, I'm very happy to be back. I'm full of life full of

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love, full of excitement. And I hope this will shine through and

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my work for you. It's been an incredible trip. And I was happy

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to pre record a couple of episodes for you before the trip

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and to have episodes with interviews, as well. And I hope

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you got a lot of value out of them, and enjoyed them learn

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something new, or were able to keep an open mind and heart.

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Whenever something was Yeah, triggering you. I feel that it's

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very important nowadays that we know that people are very

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different have very different views. And sometimes we don't

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agree with them, but we can still see the human in them, and

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maybe even be curious about their opinion and how their

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opinion was formed by their life experiences. My last episode for

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you was about your deathbed. And how you can live a life with

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Yeah, the least amount of regrets and how you can feel

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alive, make the right decisions, so that you don't regret towards

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the end of your life. Of course, we never know when we're going

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to die. But if you happen to be leaving the planet like my

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grandfather did. This influenced my view on death quite a bit.

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You will be Yeah, haunted by experiences that were not nice

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and pain inflicted on to others by you. And I just want to make

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sure that you live with awareness today that you are

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aware of the steps that you're taking that you know the

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consequences. And don't get me wrong, this doesn't mean that

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you have to please people around you at all times. It's quite the

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contrary actually. If you follow your call if you go walk on your

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path, you might upset people. But the people who truly love

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you will always understand your actions because your actions

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will be driven by love by expansion by wanting to serve

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others. And then there will be people who are not okay with

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your decisions. But that's totally fine. That just means

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that they're not aligned with your values. But to get there to

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make the decisions that are right for you, you have to get

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to know yourself. First you have to know what you're made of. You

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have to know which experiences have shaped your core values

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that you live by today. And sometimes we have to question

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the assumptions that we made about ourselves or others or our

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core values. It is very important to keep yourself in

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check and to know that we change we adapt to certain

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circumstances and situations. But sometimes the adaptation is

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outdated. Right if you have been in an abuse have relationship,

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you had to come up with ideas with values with coping

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mechanisms that supported your survival. Now that you're not in

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that relationship anymore, now that you're, you know, out and

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about, again, maybe you need to reevaluate your relationship

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values. You're not in survival mode anymore. You don't need to

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protect yourself anymore, you can be open again. But some

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people forget about this, they just keep living a life in

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survival note mode and bring this attitude, this way of

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living into their new relationship, and then wonder

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why they keep having the same Shetty outcome. And it is not

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the other person's fault, it is always easy to point at the

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other person that is now your new partner and to blame them,

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it is you who made the choice to be with that person, and to

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relate to this person in the way that you did. And this is why

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I'm here. This is why I'm constantly reminding you that

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you need to be aware of your coping mechanisms of your

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protective shield of the walls that you have built around your

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heart and yourself while you were in pain. And be self aware,

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I was gonna say, critical with yourself. But sometimes people

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overdo it and become too judgmental with themselves. And

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that's not not good either, but become more self aware. Another

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thing that I want to talk about today is that when I talk about

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making the right choices, the right decisions for yourself, we

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might think that I'm talking about the big decisions, you

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know, like to buy a house to propose to a partner, to move to

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a new country, to buy a car to decide that you want to have

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kids. But what I want to emphasize is that it is that

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little decisions that you make on a daily basis, if not hourly

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basis, that deeply influenced your life. And most people are

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not aware of it. It is the attitude that you wake up with

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in the morning, the first couple of thoughts that shoot through

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your brain. When you wake up, it is the way you get dressed. It's

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the way you have breakfast, it is the way you consume news or

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information. Right, we're not only consuming food, and the

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food becomes our blood, ourselves, our organs, our skin.

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It is also the information that we consume on a daily, if not on

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an hourly basis, that will form the way we think the way we feel

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about the world. And those are the decisions that you make each

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day, each hour of your life that will deeply influence your

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bigger decisions, the way you feel about life and others. So I

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also want to make you aware of this. How do you wake up in the

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morning?

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Do you feel rushed? Do you feel drained? Do you feel annoyed by

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your alarm clock? Can we change this? Can you make can we make

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you enjoy getting up in the morning?

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Are you getting up for somebody else something else or are you

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getting up for a nice little ritual? A hobby that you started

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engaging it? Are you getting up for yourself? How do you eat? Do

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you eat in the morning some people don't even eat in the

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morning they skip. Some people are just not hungry. Some people

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are intentionally engaging in intermittent fasting or full on

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fasting. But how aware are you of the things that you put into

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your body first thing in the morning? Is it water is it

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coffee is a tea? Do you smoke first thing in the morning and

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then we go on to social media or your phone in general. Some

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people go to the bathroom first thing in the morning with their

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phone So they start consuming with their mind already. How

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aware? Are you of the stuff that you're consuming? How does it

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make you feel? Do you learn? Do you expand? Or are you

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judgmental and jealous of what you see? Next thing then is

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interactions with people. How do you interact with people? Are

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the interactions that you have with people positive? Mainly,

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overall, be at the grocery clerk with the waitress, be at your

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neighbor, be the person that you take a bus ride, like share a

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bus ride with each morning? Do you make eye contact? Do you

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look away? Do you speak to people? Or are you more of an

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observer? And then your relationships, how good are

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their relationships in your life? I want to say that life is

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relationships, the way we relate to our environment, heavily

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influences our physical health. But a lot of it is also

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influencing our mental health. How stable are your

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relationships? Do you interact with your friends and family?

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With your partner on a daily basis? If yes, are these

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interactions positive? Or are they draining? Do you decide to

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resolve conflict? Or how do you manage difficult situations with

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people? All this influences how you see yourself and the world

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in general. And I cannot emphasize how important it is to

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of course not over analyze yourself. But maybe once a week

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week, check in with yourself and see, hey, what are the actions

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I'm taking? Like, go into bird's perspective and watch yourself

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for a day.

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How do you show up? How do you show up for yourself? How do you

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show up for your work? How do you show up for other people?

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How do you show up for strangers? How do you show up

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for your pets? Yeah, I think I think I got everything out that

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I needed to get out for you today.

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It is really important to be aware of how your body fields

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you breathe. What a question right because of course you're

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breathing, otherwise you'd be dead. But don't underestimate

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the importance of breath. People who have a very shallow breath,

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for instance, a very shallow, exhale, very short exhale, tend

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to hold on to things in life, they can really let go and

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accept their reality today. They're still trying to hold

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things together to hold on to the past. That might have been

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painful. If you know this about yourself, you need to go deeper.

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You need to exhale more. You need to let go more accept more.

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What about your inhale? Are you okay with your current

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situation? Or are you trying to you know, push through, avoid,

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resist, then your breath might be very short. And that's also

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not good. Your breath deeply influences how you feel about

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yourself, your mental health but also heavily your physical

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health. It is through six proper deep breaths that you can

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influence your heart rate, your blood pressure. Isn't that

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amazing? Of course if you are dealing with Brett blood

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pressure and heart issues, you have to consult a doctor and get

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medication. I'm not a doctor, I'm not giving you medical

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advice here. But I know for a fact that if you start breathing

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properly, inhale fully exhale fully and let go. If you notice

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the beginning the mid part and the ending of your breath you

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can be on Very good path to better health, also mental

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health. So watch yourself, pick a day of this week and watch

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yourself, what are the actions that you take. And by observing

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yourself already, you will change automatically, right?

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It's just like when you work at a ad an office, and from one day

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to the other, your boss tells you, hey, we're gonna put up a

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camera now, because we want to watch it closely. Your behavior,

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behavior will be changing if you want it or not. Same goes for

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observing yourself, you don't have to think about major

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changes that you need to make if you notice something is, you

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know, a little bit off or something that you don't really

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like about yourself. Noticing already, I want to say is way

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more than 50%. It's 80%. And from there, you can naturally or

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organically, sustainably, approach a change, not radically

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radical, never really worked. Maybe for a week, but then it's

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too much for your nervous system. Your nervous system is

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what I want to talk about next on Thursday. Because sometimes

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we want to make changes so radically so fast. But our

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nervous system is not really ready to adapt to this change

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already. And how can we ready ourselves to make the changes

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that are right for us? I'm really passionate to talk about

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this with you. As always, please give me feedback. Leave me a

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review. You don't know how much it means to Yeah, just leave me

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a rating or a review. This helps people to find my podcast. And I

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want to make sure that I help as many people as possible on this

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journey. And yeah, you have a heavy say in how successful

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my work is being transpired into the world. Thank you so much for

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being there. I deeply appreciate you and I will be out there on

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Thursday for you. Bye bye.