Episode 37
Ep. 37 Is gratefulness an option or are you only seeing pain and misery? w/ Dr Kirpal Singh
Have you ever observed people when it comes to saying: thank you?
It's my new favorite hobby: to see how people show appreciation.
Gratitude and Appreciation go hand in hand and you can go a long way if you have a deep sense of gratitude for everything you have in your life.
Now..
How about things/ situations in your life that don't bring you joy?
how about pain, suffering and illness?
I learnt that especially during those tough/ unwanted times of huge resistance/ of pain we need to practice to focus on gratitude. It is not random positivity I'm talking about but keeping your mind in a healthy place, not letting it slide into negatives and the good old victim mentality. Keeping your mind in check to find solutions and to see opportunity.
with much love and deep gratitude to have spent time with Dr Kirpal Singh
Aurora
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Transcript
Hello, hello and welcome to the Borealis
Unknown:experience. I feel very honored to have Dr. Kirpal Singh with me
Unknown:today again from Florida, beautiful sunny Florida. We will
Unknown:be talking about the importance of practicing gratitude
Unknown:and the importance of sharing with other people sharing
Unknown:whenever we learn a lesson, whenever we feel like we are
Unknown:growing or we learn something important and life lesson, it is
Unknown:really important to share with other people to Yeah, help them
Unknown:grow as well and to help them find their own path. It is not
Unknown:so much to tell people what to do. It is about you sharing your
Unknown:experience, and people being able to apply these tools these
Unknown:lessons in their life. Thank you so much for making the time here
Unknown:today. Dr. Singh. And yeah, I'm excited to hear what you have to
Unknown:share about this topic with us.
Unknown:Well, Aurora, thank you for inviting me to the program,
Unknown:greeting to you and all the audience, who may be listening
Unknown:to this program.
Unknown:You know, I
Unknown:as you know from my last name, singh, singh means
Unknown:lion, and literally.
Unknown:And I grew up in Punjab, north part of India,
Unknown:and income. My background is that I grew up in a
Unknown:simple household with my parents and my siblings.
Unknown:And we practice
Unknown:what they call faith called sikh religion, Sikhism
Unknown:which is based on the teachings of Guru Nanak.
Unknown:Guru Nanak.
Unknown:Like, is founder of, I'm in Guru Nanak. The timeline goes like
Unknown:when Columbus discovered America.
Unknown:And when Martin Luther in Germany started the Protestant
Unknown:movement.
Unknown:So that's the kind of timeline in which I grew up. I grew up I
Unknown:was born and I grew up with that kind of understanding.
Unknown:So in our, in our neighborhood, all kinds of people lived, who
Unknown:had different religion, different castes.
Unknown:And so my so we were living near an airbase.
Unknown:And where people came, was stationed from all parts of
Unknown:India,
Unknown:you know, far flung areas like
Unknown:Banga, Calcutta, which is about 4000 miles away from where I
Unknown:lived, and way down and close to Sri Lanka. From there, Bombay,
Unknown:and all sorts of things. My mother used to help them all,
Unknown:because we rented rooms, and my mother used to help them their
Unknown:wives, the mothers them, because they were so much far away from
Unknown:their families.
Unknown:And my mother
Unknown:used to remind me, whenever I get a little anxious and angry
Unknown:that you know, our
Unknown:breakfast is late, or our lunches late and we are late for
Unknown:the supper again, mom. And she'll say, some, so and so
Unknown:needed help. So it's important that we help because they have
Unknown:so far away from the families.
Unknown:And you know, we can only be good six if we follow the
Unknown:teachings of Bill namic.
Unknown:Who
Unknown:taught us that always live your life in gratitude. And that
Unknown:gratitude, then sort of wells up the state of exalted spirit in
Unknown:you. And that exalted spirit, then you use for the welfare of
Unknown:the humanity. So only this is an opportunity for us to practice
Unknown:what we
Unknown:talk about during the day are saying our prayers, so don't get
Unknown:anxious.
Unknown:I will be there and we will you will have your food. And
Unknown:you know these people when I grew older, they used to write
Unknown:to my mother from far flung parts of India and saying how
Unknown:thankful they are how difficult situation for them it was and
Unknown:some of them even will come back and visit with my
Unknown:Parents,
Unknown:which was quite a unique situation, I didn't quite
Unknown:realize as a child that. But another thing my mother used to
Unknown:say, you know how these people are far away from the families,
Unknown:who knows one day, you may be far away from your family
Unknown:who's going to help, I'm not going to be that. There'll be
Unknown:somebody like me who may accommodate you to help endured
Unknown:difficult situations. You know, our override was so true when I
Unknown:moved from my home to my medical college, from there to other
Unknown:places, and to England for five years there. And then in United
Unknown:States since 1971, for last 50 years almost.
Unknown:I always had somebody helping me, one way or another. And it
Unknown:always reminded my mother, how important is to live a life of
Unknown:gratitude, how important it is, it kind of revolves around it.
Unknown:So someone has to start practicing it, along with
Unknown:gratitude, forgiveness, don't hold grudges against anyone, if
Unknown:someone said something
Unknown:inappropriately, and cause you bad feelings, just let it go.
Unknown:Because after all, the malware maker, you know, as we are
Unknown:taught, is not just only made us, he made the whole world,
Unknown:whole creation, and the maker is present in every aspect of our
Unknown:life. So even if someone is angry, just say, there's a
Unknown:lesson to learn from this situation. You don't have to get
Unknown:into confrontation, bypass it, or forgive and move on in your
Unknown:life. You know, those were sober lessons. sober lesson didn't
Unknown:look like very good when I was a child. But as I grew older, I
Unknown:had my own children, and my own practice, and interacted in
Unknown:different countries and different people. I thought my
Unknown:mother, having gone to only five rates of education.
Unknown:She was a PhD and communication are more than that. And how our
Unknown:vision was, and how her vision she directly got from her
Unknown:spiritual upbringing, from the teachings of Ronnie who taught
Unknown:us that you know, we will remain in gratitude, always, this will
Unknown:exert exalted your spirits, and then
Unknown:and use that exalted energy in the service of humanity. And
Unknown:that's what life is all about. Yes, and it is a universal
Unknown:language, right? You can see as person as grateful and
Unknown:appreciative, you don't have to speak the same language, you
Unknown:will feel it. And those people are usually the people who
Unknown:receive the most as well. You want to support someone who is
Unknown:going to be appreciative of your work. And it's just an Yeah,
Unknown:very incredible thing to learn as a child already and then to
Unknown:apply it in your youth and during adulthood.
Unknown:Do you practice like consciously practice gratitude on a daily?
Unknown:Let's say, do you have a routine in the morning or maybe in the
Unknown:evening? where you sit down and yeah, practice gratitude?
Unknown:Well, interesting. That's a good question. The way I started my
Unknown:morning is, I get up thank God for the good day,
Unknown:that I slept well.
Unknown:And I thank him for all the health good health, he has given
Unknown:family around me the opportunity to learn, be educated
Unknown:and serve humanity. And I thank him for that by remembering him
Unknown:in my meditation. And I spend about half an hour on that. And
Unknown:then I follow with a we have, you know, central place in
Unknown:Sikhism is called
Unknown:Golden Temple, Amritsar, in India, they issue a guidance
Unknown:from there every day,
Unknown:for us to live life. You know, and I read that and then I
Unknown:reflect upon that, that what is the guidance that comes and most
Unknown:of the time it is to reinforce the spirit of gratitude.
Unknown:Reinforce the spirit of love. It is to reinforce, forgive and
Unknown:create goodwill. And we always wait for, for whatever gifts you
Unknown:have, and continue to share with them with each and every one
Unknown:come in your way. And do not be arrogant and always remember
Unknown:Your makeup is all in our master of all, and you do in your
Unknown:makers name all these things, not in my name, or someone else
Unknown:name. And the maker is maker of each and everything around us.
Unknown:And so this is our way of being grateful and serving in daily
Unknown:basis. So I don't plan on serving in any particular way,
Unknown:but it is a part of my life. Yeah, yeah. And I have one more
Unknown:question regarding gratitude. Because before we dive into
Unknown:sharing life lessons with other people,
Unknown:what would you recommend, like when you are in deep misery when
Unknown:you are in deep pain?
Unknown:money issues, or like the weather is really affecting the
Unknown:crop of a lot of agriculture people here in Canada right now?
Unknown:Like when you are in deep distress? Can you still practice
Unknown:gratitude? Or is there something better? Like, can you? I know,
Unknown:some people say, Oh, be grateful for the lesson you will be
Unknown:learning during those stressful times. But I feel when you are
Unknown:in deep stress, it is very tough to think about gratitude. Can
Unknown:you share your thoughts on that?
Unknown:That's a wonderful question.
Unknown:That's another thing
Unknown:about which we get that this guidance, and the scripture we
Unknown:follow is called deliverance.
Unknown:And it is full of those things. One of the hams comes like this,
Unknown:oh, God saved this burning, or whichever way it is possible. We
Unknown:all your children, we need such and such things. But you are the
Unknown:one who knows what is best for us. So please grant our request.
Unknown:And
Unknown:if that is in accordance with your divine well and part of the
Unknown:Divine play, and help us to understand and go through all
Unknown:these situation with couraging, even if,
Unknown:you know situation doesn't appear that great right now. But
Unknown:help us to keep you in our mind all the time. And remember,
Unknown:overall, and in the long run, you have good
Unknown:in your mind for all immigration, including myself
Unknown:and my family. So this is how I approach the situation. That's
Unknown:how we were taught as my mother and father to do that. And
Unknown:that's what I found it in a practical way, like, one time.
Unknown:And this is many, many years ago, I accidentally ran into the
Unknown:St. Francis prayer, where he says on the odd Wakeman
Unknown:instrument of peace, which is really the whole prayer is about
Unknown:gratitude. Instead of saying Me, me, me and I are what can you do
Unknown:for other people no matter what the situation maybe then. And
Unknown:there's always something like in my particular case, I am a
Unknown:physician and I have written prescription that's my skill,
Unknown:diagnose and allied prescription. I've done the free
Unknown:of charge numerous times. And I feel grateful that I'm able to
Unknown:do so and help someone who's not able to do that. And also remind
Unknown:me you know, you know any anything for me, don't worry
Unknown:that you need to pay me anything about that. You'll do some good
Unknown:some somebody else. So that our sense of gratitude, spreads
Unknown:around and help seizure we all parcel the same creation. We are
Unknown:all branches of the same tree. We just need to cooperate and
Unknown:appreciate each other.
Unknown:This is such a beautiful lesson I'm learning here. Thank you so
Unknown:much for sharing your thoughts on that. And then when it comes
Unknown:to lessons that we learn in life, enlightening moments, I
Unknown:feel sometimes people tend to not share with people they think
Unknown:okay, I learned my lesson I was in this specific situation, and
Unknown:I'm feeling better now.
Unknown:They might share with close friends but they don't tend to
Unknown:share too much with with strangers or with acquaintances.
Unknown:Can we talk about the importance of sharing life lessons
Unknown:with other people?
Unknown:I think it is very important to do that. You know, just like I
Unknown:told you the example for my mother or she did.
Unknown:And I taught those kinds of things with my, my children and
Unknown:grandchildren. And even in my practice I've shared with people
Unknown:about those things. You know, people say that I like this. I
Unknown:don't have that and you know, blame others for the problems.
Unknown:No, we don't need to blame anyone, we need to learn to
Unknown:improvise things. Like for example, growing up, I was a
Unknown:hyperactive child, you know, my mother, the way she dealt with
Unknown:my situation was, she will
Unknown:use ash, even in India we make fire with from the word and then
Unknown:use that ash. This is talking about
Unknown:70 years ago, when I was
Unknown:a little kid, she will have half the ash spread on the floor. And
Unknown:the other half she will use to scrub the utensils, you know, in
Unknown:which we are eaten. And we didn't have soap. And so by that
Unknown:time,
Unknown:so
Unknown:she'll on that she's like the alphabet. And then she'll tell
Unknown:me where my finger to trace that. This is how I learned my
Unknown:alphabet on that ash. And on that ash, I learned how to do
Unknown:123 numbers on that, as she taught me how to add,
Unknown:multiplies, divide and all those things. We didn't have a slide,
Unknown:we didn't have any papers, anything just on their ash. With
Unknown:my mother's help, I learned gather all that elementary
Unknown:education. And on that, she taught me what I she she used to
Unknown:have an old workbook from which I read, she taught me how to
Unknown:read our prayer books and everything you know, I learned
Unknown:at home from my mother while she was working. And this is how she
Unknown:engaged my attention.
Unknown:So where there is a well there is a way Yeah, like the same
Unknown:Necessity is the mother of invention. So we should not keep
Unknown:blaming others. But we should look at the resources like that
Unknown:thirsty grow. You know, the example when when will he read I
Unknown:think is an Aesop's Fables that how he will thirsty and how he
Unknown:is wondering what to do. And suddenly his eyes go on a
Unknown:journey. But the water is right on the bottom. He doesn't know
Unknown:he doesn't have a long enough me to drink it. So he saw a bunch
Unknown:of pebbles. He went one by one he brought the end and the water
Unknown:rose up and he was able to purchase this. It's not a matter
Unknown:of truth or untruth of the story is the lesson which is important
Unknown:to learn from there, that when we pray, seek help, new insights
Unknown:appear in my mind, we implement them and help them to learn and
Unknown:grow and move on in our lives. And like that there are so many
Unknown:stories in these books, you know, so fables and you name it
Unknown:all, even nursery rhymes.
Unknown:You know when you say Humpty Dumpty sat on a
Unknown:foot of God than him itself, but what are they talking about is
Unknown:how the proud person you know when he's Eru and and i think
Unknown:like they're, they fall to pieces, you know, still there
Unknown:are people who are kind enough to put them together. Even the
Unknown:wonder in the sky, Twinkle, twinkle little star, looking at
Unknown:all those things, they have wonderful lesson that how around
Unknown:us, there's a beauty around us nature around we can reflect
Unknown:even if you're hurting, are we short of money, and still we can
Unknown:have joyful things
Unknown:coming out of
Unknown:this realisation Yeah, and what I'm learning right now with you
Unknown:is that when we have that mind of, or heart open for gratitude,
Unknown:and willing to see a lesson instead of a punishment, then
Unknown:also creativity can flow then you can come up with ideas and
Unknown:and find solutions. You're not stuck in the negative and like
Unknown:hitting your head against a wall. You are open and you're
Unknown:there to learn. And you see possibilities instead of
Unknown:pain and suffering and you're trying to rise above the
Unknown:stressful situation and
Unknown:find solutions. Yeah, and your mom like oh my god, I was gonna
Unknown:cry. It is so beautiful. She was able to channel your your
Unknown:hyperactive energy into using your brain and learning
Unknown:something new. Instead of punishing you for being
Unknown:hyperactive. She knew exactly that. You can you can channel
Unknown:this energy and create something with it. And this is like a
Unknown:very, very beautiful little story that you shared with us
Unknown:there.
Unknown:Thank you as she was I was eternally grateful to her. The
Unknown:older I got, the more appreciation I developed my
Unknown:mother's ingenuity and the way she
Unknown:He did things with me. And I used to point out to her she
Unknown:used to say, son, I don't remember, I don't remember
Unknown:anymore. She was like 97 years old when she passed away in DC.
Unknown:Surely, my younger brother is a mother, you don't remember why I
Unknown:do. I wouldn't be the way I am. If you hadn't put all your
Unknown:love and affection and care and teaching in me, you grown me.
Unknown:And then I use those skills to help my siblings pass down to
Unknown:them. Yeah, yeah. And to my friends and neighbors and other
Unknown:people. And in my practice, when I became a professional, I said,
Unknown:source of all is you.
Unknown:I use your data.
Unknown:This is so beautiful. I met a person the other day, and this
Unknown:person went through a lot of pain, health struggles,
Unknown:in her life, and I feel she has a hard time. Like now she's
Unknown:she's very wise and takes really good care of her body and is
Unknown:very healthy. But all the lessons that she learned along
Unknown:her way, she has a hard time to share with people and I feel
Unknown:sometimes we went through so much pain, so much suffering
Unknown:that we see other people have it better.
Unknown:People are not suffering like we do. And we have the tools, we
Unknown:have the ability to make them suffer less. But we think they
Unknown:have to learn it themselves. And I have a problem with that.
Unknown:Because I feel if I have the wisdom, if I have the tools,
Unknown:then I should give it to the other person and not judge if
Unknown:they have an easier or not. Do you understand? say, Yeah, I do.
Unknown:And I concur with you. And I, you know, our disabilities are a
Unknown:blessing in disguise to like, for example, I not only had that
Unknown:hyperactivity problem, I had other problems too. Like, for
Unknown:example, I have a cell poor sense of orientation. When the
Unknown:GPS game, there was a great blessing for me, I I used to get
Unknown:lost with my directions. And then I had a problem with my
Unknown:right and left, you know, orientation. And I have a color
Unknown:blindness, but all those things, although they seem shortcoming
Unknown:on the surface, but they were actually really blessings for
Unknown:me, when I look back into them. You know, what kind of blessings
Unknown:it made me ask people for help. It made gave me that courage
Unknown:instead of it being withdrawn and,
Unknown:and grieve about it. I will say, you know, I don't understand,
Unknown:could you guide me here, please. And I guided the same way other
Unknown:people when opportunity came and all that because someone else
Unknown:had helped me too. So in other words, you know, we can rule out
Unknown:our short circuit by calling them shortcomings, shortcomings,
Unknown:or we can say this is the way it is. That's the reality. But it
Unknown:doesn't have to stay that way, we can modify the situation by
Unknown:mustering courage. And by using the God given skills to us to
Unknown:move on in our lives. You know, like a child is born with a
Unknown:harelip, or with some kind of deformities. Well,
Unknown:we don't know why this happened. And all all kinds of theories
Unknown:are there, for what we know is that child needs help. So
Unknown:there's all kinds of help available, including surgery, if
Unknown:necessary to fix their problems. But there was a time that
Unknown:nothing was available when I started my career as a
Unknown:physician, but later on so many developments take place and all
Unknown:that. So if we continue to move on instead of brooding over why
Unknown:it happened. But as we start
Unknown:to learn less, the reality is how to fix it and move on, then
Unknown:we can improve the society change the world. Because no one
Unknown:knows answers for everything. We do know, certain things need to
Unknown:be fixed. Instead of waiting somewhere else to do, why don't
Unknown:I started my level
Unknown:and then have more resources to do it, and encourage others to
Unknown:do it. That's the philosophy of life.
Unknown:And that, again, comes from my spiritual background with Guru
Unknown:Nanak. You know where he's always emphasized. He said,
Unknown:doesn't matter what your religion is, you know, you can
Unknown:be anything. He said, your actions speak louder than the
Unknown:words and the simple word and you can call yourself whatever
Unknown:you want. But that's just a verbal situation. You have to
Unknown:move on further. You can call that I love God with everything
Unknown:and all that but where is the Lord you don't see him. You
Unknown:don't. You are God's creation when we're connected.
Unknown:Whichever way you like, whether you're gardening or whether
Unknown:helping whatever. So he said you action actions is the one which
Unknown:is going to make a difference in your life, not just
Unknown:being paranoid or talking about I don't have this and that.
Unknown:And this is so beautiful and, and critical to hear for many,
Unknown:many people, I mean COVID the whole pandemic, like brought so
Unknown:much pain and misery and to the world and to see that they can
Unknown:be good coming out of this, and there can be solutions found and
Unknown:new career communities created. And I really like how you, you
Unknown:look at your perspective on life and love. It is very inspiring.
Unknown:I have one last question for you.
Unknown:If
Unknown:all your work, all our videos here were to be deleted. And
Unknown:it's your last day of your life and you have a piece of paper
Unknown:and a pen. What would be
Unknown:the words that you want to or the lessons or the wisdom that
Unknown:you would like to share
Unknown:with the world, before you leave.
Unknown:I will say thank you for this life of my maker.
Unknown:And thank you for being part of your creation and opportunity to
Unknown:parties participate in this cosmic play.
Unknown:And all the gifts you have given to me, you have made it possible
Unknown:for me to use to help myself, my family and the people around. So
Unknown:I'm very grateful and rest of my life, whatever is left, please
Unknown:continue the same blessing on. So they live in this world.
Unknown:In gratitude to you and to the society in which I've been
Unknown:raised, doing something for them, instead of just living for
Unknown:me.
Unknown:This is so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing your deep
Unknown:wisdom with us here and for making the time and it's it's
Unknown:very inspiring for people to hear what you have to say
Unknown:because we can apply it right away. We don't have to, we can
Unknown:buy books and read about gratitude. But we can apply it
Unknown:right now right here and our lives, with our family, with our
Unknown:friends with strangers. And I love the simplicity and I love
Unknown:how easy it is and easily accessible and how we can feel
Unknown:it comes from the heart. Your message comes from the heart. So
Unknown:deep gratitude for you here my friend, thank you for being
Unknown:here. And
Unknown:I feel we will do a new episode here sometime soon in the summer
Unknown:or maybe in fall.
Unknown:Thank you for the chance to
Unknown:have a conversation with you and be able to reach to your
Unknown:audience. For me, gratefulness, gratitude is the key to personal
Unknown:satisfaction and good life and to perpetuate it that way. Thank