EP.37 Who are your advisors and do they really have your back ?

Unknown: 00:00:06

Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

Unknown: 00:00:10

your host Aurora, life coach and companion on this beautiful

Unknown: 00:00:16

journey called life.

Unknown: 00:00:21

Ah, I'm so excited to be recording this episode,

Unknown: 00:00:26

I'm so excited to connect with you. And hopefully I'm creating

Unknown: 00:00:31

something that brings you value that on one level or another in

Unknown: 00:00:38

one way or another helps you to connect back to yourself and to

Unknown: 00:00:46

find ways to live your most authentic life that you could

Unknown: 00:00:53

possibly dream off. Today, I want to talk about your

Unknown: 00:00:59

advisors. The people that you have in your life that you seek

Unknown: 00:01:08

advice from, that you look up to, that are role models, that

Unknown: 00:01:18

are people in your life that helped you in the past, find

Unknown: 00:01:23

your ways. And sometimes it's family members, sometimes it's

Unknown: 00:01:30

friends, sometimes it's professionals. And what I'm

Unknown: 00:01:34

learning right now is that sometimes we are so lost,

Unknown: 00:01:42

sometimes we are so desperate to find a path to feel clearer to

Unknown: 00:01:50

know what is going to happen in our life and where we're going

Unknown: 00:01:55

to end up that we seek advice from people who on the surface

Unknown: 00:02:02

seem very competent. And two in the past helped you greatly. But

Unknown: 00:02:10

maybe in other instances, they were not good advisors. But you

Unknown: 00:02:19

couldn't see that because you were so lost and desperate that

Unknown: 00:02:23

you just wanted any kind of advice from outside. Because you

Unknown: 00:02:28

felt that anything could help you get unstuck and feel found

Unknown: 00:02:35

again. I'm going to give you a little example right now. So I

Unknown: 00:02:39

just got engaged recently, which is very big and very exciting

Unknown: 00:02:46

for me. And my mom, back then didn't really have a wedding

Unknown: 00:02:53

celebration, she only signed papers with my dad. And that was

Unknown: 00:02:58

it. And my grandma had a wedding celebration that she doesn't

Unknown: 00:03:03

like to look back to it was a weird wedding in a backyard even

Unknown: 00:03:12

in a garage. And it was I don't know, she felt very weird on

Unknown: 00:03:17

that day. And so now that I got engaged, they started talking

Unknown: 00:03:24

about wedding and celebrations and wedding dress. And people

Unknown: 00:03:30

who know me know that I was never the kind of girl who

Unknown: 00:03:35

dreamt up anything about weddings, wedding dresses. I'm

Unknown: 00:03:40

pretty Yeah. Neutral about it, I want to say. And now that I'm

Unknown: 00:03:51

engaged, I'm feeling excited. And so I started talking with

Unknown: 00:03:58

them about possible celebration and wanting to choose my wedding

Unknown: 00:04:04

dress with them. And my grandma took me aside yesterday and told

Unknown: 00:04:09

me that, yeah, the world is going through a recession. And

Unknown: 00:04:14

my mum didn't have a proper wedding. She didn't have a

Unknown: 00:04:18

proper wedding. So she really hopes that I'm not going to get

Unknown: 00:04:24

too excited about a beautiful dress and celebration, because

Unknown: 00:04:29

this is not what life is about. And that was it. We left and

Unknown: 00:04:38

later on coming back home. I told my soon to be husband, my

Unknown: 00:04:43

fiance about this and he got so mad and I couldn't really

Unknown: 00:04:48

understand why. And he just said, Yeah, well, they had their

Unknown: 00:04:52

experience and they will be advising you in their ways what

Unknown: 00:04:58

feels best for them. But maybe that's not best for you, maybe

Unknown: 00:05:03

you want something else. And maybe you can find ways that you

Unknown: 00:05:09

get to express yourself in a way that is most authentic to you.

Unknown: 00:05:15

And not according to some other people's plans, even though it's

Unknown: 00:05:19

your family. So from that experience I want to share with

Unknown: 00:05:23

you and make you aware that sometimes you will be asking for

Unknown: 00:05:33

advice, you will have people sharing their opinion with you.

Unknown: 00:05:39

And you will put yourself in a position of I don't want to say

Unknown: 00:05:45

victim, but a position of desperation where you seek

Unknown: 00:05:50

advice, and you will take it and you will drink it like a magic

Unknown: 00:05:56

potion. But maybe there's a little bit of poison in there,

Unknown: 00:06:00

maybe there's a little bit of jealousy in there, maybe there's

Unknown: 00:06:04

a big chunk of limiting beliefs in there that you then swallow

Unknown: 00:06:10

in from another person. And if you make and base your decisions

Unknown: 00:06:18

on those advisors, and mentors, you will end up in a place in

Unknown: 00:06:26

your life. That will not feel like you that will make you feel

Unknown: 00:06:33

very limited and small. Because of course, the limiting beliefs

Unknown: 00:06:39

of other people are not yours. So sometimes we have to be brave

Unknown: 00:06:47

enough to sit in discomfort to sit in not knowing and

Unknown: 00:06:51

uncertainty. And to really go within to allow silence, to feel

Unknown: 00:07:02

yourself to experience yourself and from that space. Make

Unknown: 00:07:08

decisions that are most authentic to you. And you got to

Unknown: 00:07:14

strengthen that muscle because you will have people very close

Unknown: 00:07:20

to your heart, giving you advice that is not good for you at all.

Unknown: 00:07:27

And it is not that they are mean tempered, ill tempered or, you

Unknown: 00:07:34

know, don't want the best for you. They want the best for you.

Unknown: 00:07:39

But sometimes what they think what is the best for you is not

Unknown: 00:07:44

the best for you. And this is so extremely tricky, especially

Unknown: 00:07:51

when you're close to these people.

Unknown: 00:07:54

So

Unknown: 00:07:56

whatever it is you seek advice on, is it career, is it

Unknown: 00:08:00

relationship? Is it marriage, is it you know, big life changes

Unknown: 00:08:06

that you want to make in the future. Always be aware that

Unknown: 00:08:13

people have their own limiting beliefs, they have their own

Unknown: 00:08:18

agenda. And they will give you advice from their space of

Unknown: 00:08:24

knowledge. There's very few people out there who have big

Unknown: 00:08:30

empathy and big knowledge and give advice for free. That is

Unknown: 00:08:37

then serving you 100% and helping you grow. And sometimes

Unknown: 00:08:44

you got to ask several people and have several opinions, but

Unknown: 00:08:48

it is always, always always important. To go within and to

Unknown: 00:08:55

really dig deep and find out who you are. What makes you you what

Unknown: 00:09:03

is the life that you want to create for yourself. And

Unknown: 00:09:09

especially if it is different to the life that your parents or

Unknown: 00:09:13

caregivers lead. You have to seek advice from people who are

Unknown: 00:09:19

leading that life already who have done the steps and when you

Unknown: 00:09:26

seek advice from them, also be critical. Don't just step into

Unknown: 00:09:33

their foot prints because you are not them. But you can listen

Unknown: 00:09:39

to their advice to their opinion. And counter check like

Unknown: 00:09:46

check. If it resonates with your soul with your inner truth.

Unknown: 00:09:53

Nobody except you knows what is best for you. Nobody knows you

Unknown: 00:10:00

Tension, sometimes you don't even know your own potential.

Unknown: 00:10:03

This is why I'm so, so, so passionate to help people get to

Unknown: 00:10:14

know themselves. Because it is from that space that you're

Unknown: 00:10:18

going to make decisions that are good for you. And it is from

Unknown: 00:10:24

that space that you will find courage enough to distance

Unknown: 00:10:29

yourself from people that you desperately want to be in a

Unknown: 00:10:35

relationship with. But that don't help you when it comes to

Unknown: 00:10:39

your personal growth. You might feel very lonely at times when

Unknown: 00:10:46

you start making decisions that are not in alignment with those

Unknown: 00:10:50

old people, so to say anymore. But if you want to lead a happy

Unknown: 00:10:55

life, I live true to yourself, you will have to bring up some

Unknown: 00:11:03

courage. All right, I'm going to leave you with that. I love you

Unknown: 00:11:09

so much. I care so much about your well being and hope that

Unknown: 00:11:16

you always know that there's somebody out there, willing to

Unknown: 00:11:20

listen to you and wanting to connect with you. You're not

Unknown: 00:11:25

alone. And I will be out there on a more consistent basis

Unknown: 00:11:31

again, and I'm very excited to show up for you. And for my

Unknown: 00:11:35

little podcast here. So until then, take really good care if

Unknown: 00:11:40

there's any questions, any remarks, any comments, feel free

Unknown: 00:11:45

to connect with me over Facebook. And I would love you

Unknown: 00:11:50

to take a second or so to rate and review my podcast on Apple

Unknown: 00:11:55

podcast. It means the world to me. And if I was able to bring

Unknown: 00:12:01

you value insights and reflection, then that wouldn't

Unknown: 00:12:07

be the greatest gift. Thank you so much. Until next time,