Episode 36
Ep.36 Evolving from regrets and self-punishment to peace and self-love. [self-improvement]
Hello there,
Today with me Frank Anthony from the "Let me be Frank" podcast.
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were you a shitty person in the past and moved on ?
did you hurt other people and were able to reconnect
did you deeply disappoint people and they don't want anything to do with you anymore ?
we will be diving deep into living with regrets and showing compassion for yourself
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Transcript
Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis
Unknown:experience. I'm very excited to have Frank Anthony with me
Unknown:today. He is, yeah, a fellow podcaster. And a guy that I was
Unknown:blessed to meet a couple of weeks ago, he invited me on to
Unknown:his show. And now, yeah, I have a couple of topics that I want
Unknown:to discuss with Frank, because I know he's a very authentic and
Unknown:raw person. And he's not shy to, yeah, share stuff that maybe
Unknown:some people might be a little bit too shy around. And, yeah,
Unknown:we just have a good conversation flow. And I wanted my listeners
Unknown:to get to know you a little better. Frank, you started your
Unknown:podcast, May of 2020. Let me be frank, when I saw that title, I
Unknown:just thought, Oh, my God. This is so cool. And you're being
Unknown:very, very frank. And it's very, very refreshing show. Can you
Unknown:like invite us into your world a little bit. So you are pumping
Unknown:out? episodes on a regular you have interview guests, like from
Unknown:all over the world? How does your life look like right now?
Unknown:Well, first, I want to say hello to everyone listening. And thank
Unknown:you so much for coming. For me being able to come on your show.
Unknown:It's an opportunity I've been really excited about ever since
Unknown:we connected and you came on to my show. So I do want to say
Unknown:thank you for that, because this is awesome to be part of the
Unknown:Borealis experience. But yeah, a little bit with me, well, I
Unknown:guess so my life, it looks. The best way to put it, I guess, is
Unknown:organized chaos. But I mean that in a good way. Because before it
Unknown:used to just be chaotic and chaos, but I decided I needed
Unknown:to, I needed to organize some things I need to reevaluate
Unknown:certain things in my life who I was, as a human being. So as you
Unknown:know, as an individual, I can be pretty, I can be very open, I
Unknown:can be pretty out there I can, you know, I can try to be funny,
Unknown:sarcastic, you know, all different. I also have a big
Unknown:heart and I try to be kind and treat people with respect. So
Unknown:yeah, my life though. It used to be kind of doing like, the
Unknown:typical, like, Oh, I'm gonna, you know, go work a certain job.
Unknown:And I don't love the job, but I'm going to go do it. Just Just
Unknown:because I didn't really realize the freedom that life has for
Unknown:us. Like, I think we, I think we are more free than we like to
Unknown:believe sometimes or we treat ourselves as not being like, Oh,
Unknown:I can't do this. I can't do that. Why not? You know, like,
Unknown:it doesn't hurt to cry it at least. So now my life is the
Unknown:podcast and working on a book. And it's things that I really
Unknown:truly loved to do, compared to, like I said before going to a
Unknown:job that other people definitely would love to go do it just
Unknown:wasn't my passion. So now I'm actually starting last year was
Unknown:the beginning of me, being able to not only accept myself as a
Unknown:human being and that I'm not perfect, but yet I can still
Unknown:love myself but also accepting just my environment and that I
Unknown:can pay if I don't love it, I can change it. Or I can at least
Unknown:try to change it and work every day on that. And I'm always
Unknown:trying to develop new habits and stuff. But yes, I host a podcast
Unknown:called let me be frank with Frank Anthony and I've met tons
Unknown:of wonderful people like yourself Aurora around the world
Unknown:that just even honestly Make me like, you know, let up Frank
Unknown:makes me an even better individual than I was yesterday,
Unknown:after I meet people like you and other people, regardless of
Unknown:where they are in the world. There's always some sort of
Unknown:lesson there's always some value that I can see in other people.
Unknown:I what I like with shows like ours is we don't need to we
Unknown:don't need to you know, there's so many shows that interview
Unknown:celebrities because a lot of us will care about what celebrities
Unknown:are doing. But I also like to show that everyday people are
Unknown:also interesting as well and that there's an interesting
Unknown:things about us that we just After you know what the rock
Unknown:over and discover,
Unknown:hmm, very beautiful. And yeah, and with everyday people, it's
Unknown:easier to relate to, right, like we can relate better to the
Unknown:person next door than some Beyonce or whoever is out there
Unknown:being a celebrity. And yeah, I also want to comment on your 21
Unknown:little habits that you're doing right now. Because I find that
Unknown:very inspiring you are out there and not only doing your podcast
Unknown:inviting people and letting us learn with them together, you
Unknown:post on Facebook, very regularly. And it's it's things
Unknown:that help the individual to be more positive and ever more
Unknown:organized. And you empower people, you show them, hey, you
Unknown:can do these little tricks, and they will lead to a more
Unknown:fulfilled and let's say successful life, I really enjoy
Unknown:following it. When it comes to your podcast, I can sense that
Unknown:you found something that gives you to joy and that you're
Unknown:really passionate about. And you also mentioned that you're
Unknown:pushing through, like self doubt at times, and you become a
Unknown:better human. Like you make it an intention to get better with
Unknown:maybe even every episode that you push out there. And this is
Unknown:also very inspiring, because I feel a lot of people have so
Unknown:much potential, and then they have their self doubt and
Unknown:criticism creep in. And that's what lets them be stuck in a job
Unknown:that they don't want to be in. Or in a relationship that is
Unknown:super toxic. So that you share this with us. You know, I last
Unknown:time we talked we mentioned Joe Rogan. And when you started out,
Unknown:you went back to his first episode that saw that, oh, yeah,
Unknown:he was not perfect all along. He, he grew with his mission.
Unknown:And this is something we have to learn to accept and know that
Unknown:everybody is going through. What I would like to talk about with
Unknown:you today is when it comes to relationship, and it doesn't
Unknown:have to be romantic relationship only it can be friendship or
Unknown:family. How did your relationships over time, evolve
Unknown:or change? As soon as you started working on yourself and
Unknown:feeling better with yourself? So do you remember a time back then
Unknown:when you were still like, not following your passion and not
Unknown:seeing a true purpose for yourself? How your relationships
Unknown:were different than they are today?
Unknown:Definitely, definitely, definitely, I've gone through a
Unknown:few different phases in my own life. And I assume a lot of
Unknown:people do. Some people don't, unfortunately, they don't learn
Unknown:different ways that maybe they could communicate better, or
Unknown:develop interpersonal relationships better with
Unknown:others. And it's honestly become one of my own passions that I've
Unknown:discovered that I love to analyze and study as well. For
Unknown:me, so at the beginning years and years ago, I, I don't want
Unknown:to give like any excuse for like, Oh, well, because my
Unknown:environment was a certain way why I ended up being a certain
Unknown:person. But I think as a child, your environment is very
Unknown:important, or it does mold you in a certain way. And I love my
Unknown:family. I love them to death, but their communication style
Unknown:and building relationships was quite optic in the way that we
Unknown:would, you know, I grew up, I grew up in an Italian family.
Unknown:And you would just kind of yell at each other, you would just
Unknown:yell things back and forth. And I mean, there, there were some
Unknown:awful things you could say to one another. But you wouldn't
Unknown:stop talking to them because they were family. So it was
Unknown:almost like you in a sense, you could get away with saying, I
Unknown:don't even want to give an example if it would be too
Unknown:explicit. But but you have an idea like you could say
Unknown:something so awful to this other family member that if you had
Unknown:said that to someone outside the family, they would not not only
Unknown:not want to talk to you again or block you. I mean, they could
Unknown:call the police on you for certain things like it could be
Unknown:so yeah, just so paradores certain actions towards one
Unknown:another. That was I do love my family. And they do you know,
Unknown:they mean, well, of course, we're all you know, they're all
Unknown:growing, I'm growing everyone's grown. and stuff, they've
Unknown:definitely gotten better over time, like myself, but that type
Unknown:of environment I took out of the family environment, and I
Unknown:brought it into the real world with other people. And I learned
Unknown:the hard way, that that's not, that's not what I should have
Unknown:done that I needed to, I thought I knew everything, when in
Unknown:reality, there was still a lot I needed to learn. So I use some
Unknown:of those behaviors, I would say such awful things, to either
Unknown:best friends, or romantic partners, or anyone that
Unknown:actually gave me the time of day, which I'm grateful for
Unknown:them. And then I feel sorry for that, that they did in that
Unknown:period of my life. Because I was, yeah, I just there was a
Unknown:lot, I still had to learn, I would do those things. And I
Unknown:lost a lot of people by certain things that I would say, if I
Unknown:felt like I was hurt by something, maybe they didn't
Unknown:even mean to hurt me with certain words, they said, Maybe
Unknown:I just took it the wrong way, I would need to cut back five
Unknown:times deeper, and say something way worse. And then obviously,
Unknown:that would ignite something that's not the way to
Unknown:communicate with someone, instead, I could have
Unknown:communicated that, you know, I feel like, I feel like you've
Unknown:hurt me in a certain way or something, it could have went a
Unknown:different way. So at the beginning, it was a lot of
Unknown:anger. And I think it was a lot of anger, and hurt because of
Unknown:growing up what I felt from certain situations, whether they
Unknown:were in school or in my family life or in life in general, then
Unknown:I started to evolve a little bit, and learn about
Unknown:communication and see the importance of communication in a
Unknown:relationship. And the issue that with that was that during I can
Unknown:think of I can definitely think of one relationship specifically
Unknown:where they, they didn't really want to communicate anything.
Unknown:They were almost like a brick wall. And I thought
Unknown:communication was just talking at someone just saying
Unknown:everything you feel, and they just have to take it. Yeah.
Unknown:So and that wasn't the right way. either. I learned I learned
Unknown:I can't just keep talking. Well, first of all, I can't talk at
Unknown:someone you have to communicate. It's like a team, you have to
Unknown:communicate with each other. Yes, a back and forth, where you
Unknown:say something the other person listens, you don't just you
Unknown:don't have to wait your turn to say what you want to say. You
Unknown:could actually listen to what that person whether it's a
Unknown:friend, family member, romantic partner, whoever it is, you need
Unknown:to listen to what they're actually saying, you know,
Unknown:they're giving you the gift of communication and of language
Unknown:and the gift of through emotion and feeling that they're feeling
Unknown:on the inside. So you could value that and listen to it, and
Unknown:then respond accordingly. And also add in your own feelings.
Unknown:So there's been you know, with going to school for psychology
Unknown:and just certain life lessons throughout my life. I, I believe
Unknown:I've learned I can still learn, of course more, but I believe
Unknown:I've learned a lot so far in that sense. And I kind of gained
Unknown:this passion when it comes to interpersonal relationships,
Unknown:because it's so crucial whether it's for your job, or, you know,
Unknown:to build a family with someone or Yeah, to have long lasting
Unknown:friendships over the years.
Unknown:Wow. Like it's so crazy. I mean, I haven't known you long, but
Unknown:the content that you put out and the energy that I feel for me, I
Unknown:would have never said that you were a poor communicator couple
Unknown:years back, and it's so remarkable how far you got and
Unknown:how, how much you can reflect about it. You always have to be
Unknown:careful to not like feel like punish yourself too much for how
Unknown:you behaved back then because your baby brain your your
Unknown:youthful brain was just, yeah, like squished or marked so much
Unknown:by the environment and you were able like to get yourself out of
Unknown:that more toxic dynamic. And now, when you think of the
Unknown:people that you might have heard and that you're maybe not in
Unknown:contact anymore. Did you ever think about reconnecting and
Unknown:maybe talking about this Or are they just not in your life
Unknown:anymore?
Unknown:it yes and no, it's a mix, it's, it really depends on the
Unknown:individual. There are a few of them that I have reconnected
Unknown:with. Some are friends of mine again, today, which I'm very
Unknown:thankful for some. I feel like the minimum goal now, when it
Unknown:comes to reconnecting with people that maybe you had a
Unknown:heart of with is that you're at least civil with one another,
Unknown:that there's not hatred in your heart towards the other person
Unknown:or vice versa. I really don't want anyone to wait. I feel like
Unknown:to waste time hating me. Yes, feel like it. Like I obviously
Unknown:they have the right to feel whichever way they feel. I just
Unknown:feel like it's such a waste to hate on me, because I don't I'm
Unknown:not I'm not worth the energy, honestly, so that I'm not like
Unknown:that, like, you can do so many better things. And, and vice
Unknown:versa. I don't need to hate on certain people, because there's
Unknown:different things. There's different things you can do at
Unknown:that time and energy. And that was a hard lesson for me to
Unknown:learn over time. But I had a train of thought I think brain
Unknown:of thoughts and blues and I was on Oh, sorry, I forgot a sec. I
Unknown:was in the moment. With reconnecting there are
Unknown:unfortunately there are some people that we that didn't want
Unknown:to talk to me again. And which they have that right to do I can
Unknown:actually, I was mad at first, I'd be upset at first about it.
Unknown:But then I realized they have the right to feel that way.
Unknown:There was some awful thing. Like the things I said, we're pretty
Unknown:awful to the sense that Yeah, they have a right to not want me
Unknown:in their life. That's perfectly okay. And, and if there's and
Unknown:there's certain there's a few people that I've known in my
Unknown:lifetime that I don't need to hate, but I don't need to talk
Unknown:to them again. Or I don't need to let them back in to my like,
Unknown:bubble or in my circle.
Unknown:Yeah, yeah. And sometimes that's a tough spot to be in because
Unknown:you want to apologize so much and explain yourself and help
Unknown:the other to like, get over it. But yeah, sometimes people don't
Unknown:want to reconnect and then you got to accept it. And you have
Unknown:to forgive yourself and not punish you more and, and just
Unknown:move on. But I think it's beautiful and very, like
Unknown:courageous to go and see, Hey, can I reconnect with you? Can I
Unknown:Can we just get over this together and not live in
Unknown:resentment and become bitter people? That's like, especially
Unknown:in romantic relationships, I feel it's but also friendships.
Unknown:It's important because there was a time where you had something
Unknown:special and intimate. And yeah, it got broken up and some some
Unknown:wound still hurt years later.
Unknown:How is it there
Unknown:was one, there was sorry, there was one specifically I do think
Unknown:as someone where I, you know, I had apologized probably 3040
Unknown:different times trying to like reconnect, because yeah, the
Unknown:hurt being so bad, or like missing them and wanting them.
Unknown:And I learned that you can't you can't force that on the other
Unknown:person. If they don't, they just didn't want to reconnect in that
Unknown:way. Or they felt like they had already tried enough times with
Unknown:me. And yeah, and I agree with you that it's really, it's tough
Unknown:to accept that or it's, or it's tough to, I used to always
Unknown:believe that we needed closure, which is why I would reach out
Unknown:to other people. And then actually what I learned sometime
Unknown:last year, someone had given me really great advice that loader
Unknown:can be found within yourself. And I remember that, like wow,
Unknown:that. That's very powerful. Like it really does. It reminded me
Unknown:of how powerful we all of us are as human beings. Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Unknown:I remember that gets the most painful situation to experience
Unknown:when you feel like there's no closure and you can't reach the
Unknown:other person and now you have to run around half broken for the
Unknown:rest of your life and and then I got received, like similar
Unknown:advice. And yeah, it frees you from that from a burden even.
Unknown:And then from that mission to having to connect with that
Unknown:person and gives you peace again and yeah. What would you say are
Unknown:the things that you're still in Learning today or you want to
Unknown:get better at when it comes to relationships, or friendships
Unknown:like we're all like a process of working process. I will share
Unknown:what what I feel I still need to learn. But if you want to go
Unknown:first, what are the things that you feel you need to get better,
Unknown:you can go first. I feel sometimes I'm still scared to
Unknown:speak my truth, to experience rejection from a person that I
Unknown:deeply love. Because they might not be okay with my truth. I'm a
Unknown:very, like, loving and caring person. At the same time, I love
Unknown:my freedom, and I love to travel and explore. And sometimes I
Unknown:find it hard to communicate like to to allow my free spirit to be
Unknown:present as well, because I feel in a committed relationship. You
Unknown:should feel restricted. So it's also my, my view on
Unknown:relationships, that they have to feel like you're handcuffed,
Unknown:which is wrong. And yeah, because I think it's because I
Unknown:observed with my parents and my grandparents, and maybe friends
Unknown:that are married, that this is just how relationships work, you
Unknown:have to give up your, your free spiritual, like, explore aside
Unknown:and be in the kitchen and do the relationship duties. And that's
Unknown:not good, because I restrict myself and I might be
Unknown:restricting my partner as well. And in speaking my truth and my
Unknown:desires, I could maybe have more fulfilling relationships. So
Unknown:yeah, that's, for me the, the toughest part.
Unknown:Yeah, I, I've also witnessed, from certain relationships to,
Unknown:at least with romantic ones, this belief that once you get
Unknown:with someone, you have to, like almost put off like your family
Unknown:or your friends, like you can't talk like you can't really hang
Unknown:out with your friends as much as they used to, you have to put
Unknown:all your time into your partner for all your time and energy,
Unknown:and almost make like romantic relationships more important
Unknown:than friendships, when both types of relationships are
Unknown:important. That's, that's definitely a lesson I like to
Unknown:remind myself and try not to do to my friends or just other
Unknown:people. In general, one thing I can think of it sounds a little,
Unknown:it's gonna sound a little weird, that I think they still could
Unknown:use some work on is, is he is taking my own advice. At times,
Unknown:I don't always take it, I can say it to other people, but do I
Unknown:always apply it and I think of for one, like one example being
Unknown:I'm I am a firm believer in an aisle, and I'll preach this,
Unknown:that you and your romantic partner could live your own,
Unknown:like, you should obviously build a life together. But you also
Unknown:still need your own separate lives. Like you go into the
Unknown:relationship with different interests, different lifestyles,
Unknown:and that's okay to like, still have some of your own passions
Unknown:that aren't related to your partner. So you can still live
Unknown:an independent life. And I I can recognize that when I sometimes
Unknown:when I go into relationships, it's happened a lot, where I'm
Unknown:like that the beginning. And then I start forming with them,
Unknown:I start like mice, I start getting glued to the other
Unknown:person, I start doing all the things that they like to do. And
Unknown:I started becoming a part of their passions, and then they
Unknown:start getting annoyed and kind of for good reason. Sometimes we
Unknown:need space from our partners, we need to do our own thing I
Unknown:stopped. For example, I love to write and I would just stop all
Unknown:my writing. I didn't need to stop, but I just would because
Unknown:it wasn't their interest. But it was mine and I would start
Unknown:losing my own self identity. So that's something probably even
Unknown:to this day that I can continue working on.
Unknown:hmm yeah, that's such a good one. And I feel a lot of people
Unknown:who are like compassionate and true lovers, you know. We do
Unknown:that we tend to do that because we want to be close to the other
Unknown:person and we also want to learn new things. We're very curious
Unknown:and are like, Oh yeah, I can ride later but I want to learn
Unknown:like tennis now. Or to ride a unicorn, it's, it's very tricky
Unknown:because I can feel that you're also the kind of person who
Unknown:would feel selfish, like you would feel selfish to tell your
Unknown:new partner No, like today I'm going to write for three hours
Unknown:and you can go do something else. It's it's a fine line of
Unknown:not feeling guilty about it as well. And it is also the thing
Unknown:that after a breakup, we have to find, again, like it makes a
Unknown:breakup so much harder when you lost yourself along the way, and
Unknown:you're totally glued into one person. And then the breakup
Unknown:happens. And you're like, Oh, my God, who am I, I'm just existing
Unknown:with my partner. And I know all these things in my mind, but
Unknown:when I'm in there, when I'm passionate and caring again,
Unknown:then I throw it all overboard. And it's, it's good to talk
Unknown:about these things with you. Because then you can kind of
Unknown:hold each other accountable. When it comes to your parents,
Unknown:like you mentioned your family at the beginning, and that you
Unknown:kind of grew out of toxic dynamics, but you sound like you
Unknown:still have a really good relationship with them. How did
Unknown:your relationship with your parents change? As you changed?
Unknown:Was it difficult at first? Were they like, were you kind of
Unknown:betraying us a little bit? Or did you try to, like, teach them
Unknown:what you are learning and they resist it to it? Or they will
Unknown:open to listen? What was your experience with your? And it
Unknown:doesn't have to be parents? Excuse me? It can be like your,
Unknown:your core family. Sometimes it's not necessarily the parents. But
Unknown:maybe it is in your case?
Unknown:That is a great question. It's also a very tough question to
Unknown:answer. I don't I don't get into family too much. Even saying
Unknown:what I said before was really getting was starting to get
Unknown:personal, I kind of tend to avoid them on my own platform.
Unknown:Okay, but I'm on your platform, I'm here. And I'm going to give
Unknown:I'm going to give you the goods. So so we can start with parents.
Unknown:So well. My dad, it'd be really quick, I almost have no
Unknown:relationship with him. In gun, I did it. They didn't even really
Unknown:know. I didn't even really know anything about them for some
Unknown:time. And I've only met him once my entire life when I was 17.
Unknown:The only time I ever saw him in person. There. There's a lot of
Unknown:backstory with all that too. But unfortunately, you know, it just
Unknown:wasn't the best dynamic for him and I to continue communicating.
Unknown:And I needed to, I had to warn him that hard lesson that they
Unknown:always say Blood is thicker than water. But I don't always
Unknown:believe that is the case. Like I think it you have to really look
Unknown:at the individual. And I'm like, just because he's my biological
Unknown:father. It doesn't mean he's been my father that's actually
Unknown:been there for me. So, so yeah, that that's quick. Like there's
Unknown:just not really any communication and any
Unknown:communication that has been there. It really just has been
Unknown:wishy washy with my mom. She pretty much raised me on her
Unknown:own. It also, that whole situation is very complicated,
Unknown:because I love her. I love her to death. But our communication
Unknown:we're so the issue is, Well, two things. One, we're very similar.
Unknown:So you're going to have like that clash of people of two
Unknown:people who get annoyed by the same things yet. The second
Unknown:issue is we is obviously we know each other's to the point that
Unknown:we know how to push each other's buttons. And once you figure out
Unknown:someone's big red button, someone else's and you have that
Unknown:power to push it. That's when it can get ugly at times. And we've
Unknown:we've had a back and forth of being really good and then being
Unknown:really bad. And today, it's better. It's getting better. I
Unknown:think one thing we learned is especially maybe becoming an
Unknown:adult we just couldn't live together anymore. I think that
Unknown:kind of happens with a lot of parents and their kids. It's
Unknown:like the kid wants to you know, be an adult now. And now be
Unknown:called like the 20 something year old kid or the 36 something
Unknown:year old kid. It's like they want to be able to fly out of
Unknown:the nest. And my mom is very I was our only child only son, so
Unknown:very, very over protective of me that took a lot of time and
Unknown:communication to get through and figure and, you know, let on my
Unknown:end, let her know, hey, I, I need to go out and be an adult.
Unknown:And I think she knew that deep down just was afraid something
Unknown:bad would happen to me or didn't want me to get her when in
Unknown:reality I have to get her in order to learn. But I feel like
Unknown:it just needs to happen we need to go. We can't just always have
Unknown:positive experiences, bad things are going to happen. People are
Unknown:going to pass away someday. P this Yeah, certain tragedies are
Unknown:in stone, like weather related to like any natural disasters,
Unknown:they mean like any, like anything can really happen.
Unknown:That's bad that we don't have control over. So So yeah, so our
Unknown:communication was very up and down. Because I felt like, I
Unknown:felt like my communication was growing, and that she kinda was
Unknown:more stagnant. But I also don't, I mean, she's the only one
Unknown:that's going to really be able to identify what her
Unknown:communication style is. I just that's something I felt with her
Unknown:whenever I would talk to her that communication could be
Unknown:difficult. Other other family members, I mean, yeah, I to be
Unknown:like, to be honest, I am close to my family, but not close to
Unknown:my family, which probably doesn't make any sense. So maybe
Unknown:it makes some sense. But it's like I'm, I'm close to them in
Unknown:the sense that
Unknown:I've spent like, a certain amount of time with them. But
Unknown:then I'm not close in the sense that we really haven't had much
Unknown:communication with one another. I was one of the younger family
Unknown:members. So I think I was always viewed as the one of the
Unknown:children in the family. And even when I became an adult, they
Unknown:still wouldn't talk to me like I was an adult, or they would hide
Unknown:certain things from me in fear that like I would get hurt. So
Unknown:that was something that we've been needing to work on in the
Unknown:process, like, Hey, I'm an adult. Now, like, I can handle
Unknown:any like, for example, when I, when I was only like 1011 years
Unknown:old, my uncle was only 30 years old, and he got in a car
Unknown:accident and died. So that was something that they they
Unknown:actually they told me he passed. But then it like I didn't go to
Unknown:the week or the funeral or I like they just never really
Unknown:talked about him again. To me. It was just kind of like, they
Unknown:told me that one time, and then they didn't really want me to
Unknown:actually like except the death. When it's like you kind of need
Unknown:to like, yeah, it's tough. As a child, it's tougher at any age,
Unknown:to deal with losing a loved one. But it's like you need to, you
Unknown:would have to go through that process of what is it the five
Unknown:stages of grief or whatever your process is, you have to go
Unknown:through that in order to so that other situations aren't nearly
Unknown:as difficult. So it's not it doesn't feel life ending every
Unknown:single time. Someone that So yeah, that's kind of like, I
Unknown:guess that's an adjust the communication between me and and
Unknown:family, I think for the most part.
Unknown:Mm hmm. Wow. Yeah, that's, so it sounds like you are close, but
Unknown:you're not maybe seeking approval. When you make a big
Unknown:decision, like starting a podcast or writing a book, you
Unknown:just do it because you know, it's what you are desiring to
Unknown:do. And he will share with them along the way. But you will not
Unknown:like be codependent and wanting to know that they are on board.
Unknown:Did I get that right?
Unknown:Yeah, I think you did, I think and I also think they knew me so
Unknown:well as a child, but then never really got to know me as an
Unknown:adult. Yeah. And then they're on my end, because I can't I can't
Unknown:really speak how they feel about me at the end of the day, I
Unknown:could assume, but I don't really know fully. But on my end, there
Unknown:is some sort of, I can admit there's some sort of mistrust
Unknown:with family members, that kind of that also hinders my
Unknown:communication with them compared to like best friends where I
Unknown:probably have a healthier level of communication.
Unknown:Yeah, yeah. Wow, that sounds pretty like common that a lot of
Unknown:people find like to family and their friends and they're still
Unknown:connected to their family, but a little bit on a healthy
Unknown:distance. And that's okay, as well. Man, we're coming to an
Unknown:end to I'm looking at the clock. It's like 37 It felt like 10
Unknown:minutes. I have so many more questions. Maybe we can do that
Unknown:again soon. I would love you to share where people can find you.
Unknown:If they got curious about you. Let me be frank podcast on all
Unknown:the platforms that you can imagine your book, How far are
Unknown:you into writing your book? When is it time for us to have a peek
Unknown:at it?
Unknown:I wish I was farther, I'm starting to get better with
Unknown:frying too. The problem is, once I stopped writing, I sometimes
Unknown:can't get back on the train. So I realized I gotta write a
Unknown:little bit every day. Even if it's like 100 words, it's not a
Unknown:whole lot. But it's something it's just getting something on
Unknown:paper that I need to keep up with. Because if I go, if I go
Unknown:like three or more days in a row, I'm probably not going back
Unknown:to the piece or it'll be a long time. So I've so honestly, I
Unknown:only have like, I don't have much of a manuscript, maybe like
Unknown:30 something pages at the moment, but my goal was to try
Unknown:to finish the manuscript this year. But we'll see I really,
Unknown:that's a minimum goal. I want to try to do more. So we'll see.
Unknown:Keep everyone updated on that. Cool then my social medias I'll
Unknown:try to keep it kind of simple. explains I go by two different
Unknown:names on social media. So for example, my podcast, Instagram
Unknown:and my Twitter are at let me be frank, odd. And then my personal
Unknown:Instagram, and my Tick Tock are Frank Anthony books. And then I
Unknown:have a website, www dot frank Anthony books calm. And like you
Unknown:had said to the podcast, as on Spotify, apple, podcasts, pod
Unknown:bean, and a ton of other different streaming services.
Unknown:Very, very cool. Well, thank you so much for being here with us
Unknown:today. It was such a pleasure to meet with you in person again. I
Unknown:mean, zoom is what we have right now. And, yeah, I will make sure
Unknown:to connect people with you. And I'm excited for your upcoming
Unknown:episodes. Thank you for being here.
Unknown:Thank you so much, Aurora.
Unknown:Thank you so much for listening to this interview. I hope you
Unknown:got a lot of value out of it. And yeah, make your own
Unknown:conclusions. My biggest conclusion here is, it is so
Unknown:important to reflect about how we behaved in the past how we
Unknown:communicated, and to think about how we can do things better in
Unknown:the future and reconnect with people that we have lost along
Unknown:the way. And be okay with people not wanting to reconnect with us
Unknown:anymore. take really good care of yourself. Thanks for
Unknown:subscribing and maybe leaving me or writing on Apple podcast. I
Unknown:will be out there very soon again. Bye bye, Aurora.