Ep.34 Do you feel comfortable being alone?

Unknown: 00:00:11

Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

Unknown: 00:00:14

experience. I'm your host Aurora, and I'm very happy to be

Unknown: 00:00:19

spending some time with you today. I hope you're doing well

Unknown: 00:00:23

know if your heart is in a warm place, your mind is in a

Unknown: 00:00:28

peaceful place, and your soul feels free and good to expand.

Unknown: 00:00:34

Yes, today I want to talk about meditation and why it is so

Unknown: 00:00:38

freakin hard to start meditating. Or maybe you did

Unknown: 00:00:45

meditation, or were sitting in meditation before and it went

Unknown: 00:00:50

well. And now it doesn't go as smoothly anymore.

Unknown: 00:00:57

I think we all have traveled to fully relax and spend time with

Unknown: 00:01:04

ourselves at times. We're all very conditioned to be active to

Unknown: 00:01:10

get things done.

Unknown: 00:01:13

To have a role in society and our family. And

Unknown: 00:01:19

maybe some of us, not all of us are being taught that spending

Unknown: 00:01:24

time by yourself, spoiling yourself, doing yourself good as

Unknown: 00:01:30

selfish. And maybe it goes even deeper. Maybe when you were a

Unknown: 00:01:35

child, you were sent into a timeout, when you were doing

Unknown: 00:01:42

something that annoyed your parents. So you associate being

Unknown: 00:01:48

alone with punishment and something negative. A good

Unknown: 00:01:53

friend of mine, her son is

Unknown: 00:01:56

five years old now. But when he was two or three years old, he

Unknown: 00:02:01

was able to communicate already that he needed time off from

Unknown: 00:02:06

people from time to time, and he started calling it positive

Unknown: 00:02:11

timeout. This is how I labeled one of my episodes here and

Unknown: 00:02:16

season two, because I found this so adorable and so admire bubble

Unknown: 00:02:22

that this little human knew already that it is very

Unknown: 00:02:26

important for him to spend time by himself and to just do

Unknown: 00:02:32

whatever he pleases behind closed doors. And afterwards,

Unknown: 00:02:37

he's good to socialize again. So maybe if you dig deeper and look

Unknown: 00:02:42

at your childhood, you can see that alone time was never really

Unknown: 00:02:46

something that you wanted, or that was possible. Maybe you had

Unknown: 00:02:52

siblings and they were always around, which is super awesome

Unknown: 00:02:57

too.

Unknown: 00:02:58

But maybe it's just something that doesn't come natural to

Unknown: 00:03:01

you. But I can tell you if you feel you're running into a

Unknown: 00:03:06

burnout if you feel exhausted if you feel irritated. If you feel

Unknown: 00:03:12

life is too much. alone time can really help you further and

Unknown: 00:03:20

feeling better. You can come back to yourself and be

Unknown: 00:03:26

creative. You can empty your mind you can

Unknown: 00:03:30

just get rid of stuff that you've been carrying around

Unknown: 00:03:34

maybe for too long, and it is holding you back and expanding

Unknown: 00:03:38

and developing as a human being.

Unknown: 00:03:44

So chances are if you're listening to my podcast here, it

Unknown: 00:03:48

is something maybe you want to learn.

Unknown: 00:03:52

But maybe you're very good at it already. Now, why is it so

Unknown: 00:03:57

incredibly hard to meditate for some of us, me included?

Unknown: 00:04:05

My mind is very, very active, especially when I crave silence

Unknown: 00:04:11

and alone time. It wants to get things done. It wants to solve

Unknown: 00:04:16

problems wants to resolve conflict between people. And I

Unknown: 00:04:23

learned to don't identify with those feelings and thoughts

Unknown: 00:04:29

anymore and just know that this is my mind's nature and it

Unknown: 00:04:34

always wants to be active. But it needs to be quiet at times

Unknown: 00:04:39

and my body has to overtake a little bit. What I mean by that

Unknown: 00:04:45

is tuning into my breath. Putting one hand onto my heart

Unknown: 00:04:51

and feeling my heartbeat.

Unknown: 00:04:54

On sometimes I go for a walk in nature and just deeply tune in

Unknown: 00:05:00

To what is around me,

Unknown: 00:05:02

I love tracking like looking for animal tracks in the mud or in

Unknown: 00:05:09

the snow. I love all kinds of smells, and all kinds of noises

Unknown: 00:05:15

that are here in the forest. So if you have a park, or maybe a

Unknown: 00:05:22

body of water close by, I totally encourage you to go out

Unknown: 00:05:27

and to explore Mother Nature that is right around you.

Unknown: 00:05:32

Because if we switch on our senses, physical touch, smell,

Unknown: 00:05:39

things that you can hear things that you can taste and things

Unknown: 00:05:43

that you can see, then you kind of get out of your problem

Unknown: 00:05:50

solving mode, accomplishing mode, and back into experiencing

Unknown: 00:05:57

life mode. And this is deeply nourishing and good for your

Unknown: 00:06:03

soul and your heart. And your mind can just wait in the

Unknown: 00:06:07

backseat, and be okay observing and taking in new information.

Unknown: 00:06:14

Because what happens when we don't take these time outs,

Unknown: 00:06:20

these positive time outs?

Unknown: 00:06:23

Our brain gets into a loop of thinking, I don't know if you

Unknown: 00:06:29

observed your thoughts before, but notice how repetitive your

Unknown: 00:06:35

thoughts are. When you look into your mirror, you probably always

Unknown: 00:06:39

have the same criticism to offer. And I want you to change

Unknown: 00:06:43

that. Change the thoughts you have when you look into the

Unknown: 00:06:47

mirror. Start with yourself with what you see in the mirror and

Unknown: 00:06:53

you will see how critical your mind is. Does it see beautiful

Unknown: 00:06:58

kind eyes and soft hands and

Unknown: 00:07:03

beautiful skin? Or does it see?

Unknown: 00:07:08

I don't know how to say that in English cellulitis,

Unknown: 00:07:12

and molds and hair and whatever you don't want. And then you go

Unknown: 00:07:18

further you step into your day and observe the chatter of your

Unknown: 00:07:22

mind in the background when you do things. Is it positive? Is it

Unknown: 00:07:27

neutral as it negative? Is it always there? I'm sure it's

Unknown: 00:07:31

always there, because there's always something to comment on.

Unknown: 00:07:37

And this is why meditation is so hard because all of a sudden you

Unknown: 00:07:40

shut down all your senses, you close your eyes maybe. And you

Unknown: 00:07:46

have no big distractions like computers, other people or

Unknown: 00:07:52

television in front of you. And now your monkey mind is trying

Unknown: 00:07:56

to find something to be busy with. And that's the time where

Unknown: 00:08:00

you need to rein it in. And just put it in a corner for a second.

Unknown: 00:08:06

And come back to your breath. or visualize your breath. or

Unknown: 00:08:12

visualize a field where you walk barefoot through and you could

Unknown: 00:08:18

feel the grass,

Unknown: 00:08:20

like crawling around your toes, maybe it's a little bit wet,

Unknown: 00:08:24

maybe it's warm from the sun. And you can do all kinds of

Unknown: 00:08:29

guided meditation here that I offer to help you stay with

Unknown: 00:08:35

yourself with your breath, or something you want to visualize

Unknown: 00:08:39

or even manifest. So when you sit down and meditate and think

Unknown: 00:08:46

about other people who are peaceful, they look and relax,

Unknown: 00:08:50

while know that the exact same as going on inside of them. But

Unknown: 00:08:56

they learned to put their monkey mind their busy mind into the

Unknown: 00:09:01

corner and to focus on their breath. And when you do that on

Unknown: 00:09:07

a regular basis, you will have better sleep and better focus.

Unknown: 00:09:13

Whenever you start something new. You remember how it felt

Unknown: 00:09:19

when you sit in meditation? how awesome it feels to have single

Unknown: 00:09:24

focus on something and no distraction and full

Unknown: 00:09:31

devotion to the self.

Unknown: 00:09:35

So what I recommend you do is this afternoon this morning this

Unknown: 00:09:40

evening. Look at how you what you associate I mean, with alone

Unknown: 00:09:46

time is it comfortable for you

Unknown: 00:09:50

to just sit there and be with yourself. Maybe lay down on your

Unknown: 00:09:54

bed and don't watch Netflix don't eat be binge eat something

Unknown: 00:10:00

And second of all, when you look into a mirror, what are the

Unknown: 00:10:07

thoughts that come up? How do you feel? And when you try to

Unknown: 00:10:13

meditate, how does it go for you? Do you become restless? Do

Unknown: 00:10:18

you feel like you need to edge? Is it uncomfortable to sit

Unknown: 00:10:22

still? Or is it your mind that tries to keep you busy?

Unknown: 00:10:28

And then observe your thoughts, your looping thoughts during the

Unknown: 00:10:33

day? Do you always have the same thoughts when you go about your

Unknown: 00:10:38

rituals and your daily routine? Or do they change and if they

Unknown: 00:10:44

don't change, if at all, if it is always the same? Then go out

Unknown: 00:10:50

in nature and train how to use your senses again, and then you

Unknown: 00:10:56

apply that at home, the smell, touch, the audio, and the visual

Unknown: 00:11:04

stuff that you consume on a daily basis. Those are all

Unknown: 00:11:09

things that we can switch up in order to stimulate the brain,

Unknown: 00:11:14

the rate the right way, and to then have thoughts that make us

Unknown: 00:11:19

feel good about ourselves and our environment.

Unknown: 00:11:23

Thank you so much for listening to this episode here. I'm so

Unknown: 00:11:28

happy to have you on board. Wherever you are on this

Unknown: 00:11:32

beautiful planet. Take good care of yourself. Drink a huge glass

Unknown: 00:11:37

of fresh milk.

Unknown: 00:11:40

And I will be out there for you tomorrow again