Ep.33 How to keep your cool in turbulent times [ radical self-care]

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Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora, life coach and companion

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on this beautiful journey called life, I hope you feel safe, I

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hope you feel good in your skin, I hope I can bring you value

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with my podcast here. And if that's the case, please make

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some time write a review, or leave me a rating on Apple

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podcast or Spotify or wherever you listen to this. And then

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let's get started. Today I want to talk about entrepreneurship.

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And don't worry, you don't have to be a business owner. I

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believe we are all entrepreneurs to some degree we can be

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employed. And not own our own business. But we have to

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organize our life, right, we have to balance out what we

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need, what we don't need, we have to organize ourselves in

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order to function well at our job, we have to nurture our

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relationships, we have to make time for playful times. So that

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all takes a lot of organizational skills. And even

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more so when you have a business. But not exclusively,

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if you have a little family or a big family. Same thing there,

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you have to work on logistics, you have to be there for

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different parties at the same time. You have to listen to

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people, you have to manage people, you have to lead and

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guide people. So even as a parent, if you're not working at

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all, I feel you have to come up with that as leadership skills.

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Otherwise, you're thrown off. So entrepreneurship for everybody.

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Ah, what I'm learning right now is that when you are a

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solopreneur then you have to learn how to regulate your

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nervous system. When something goes wrong, you have to keep a

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cool mind. And you cannot let it affect your whole life. You

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cannot let it affect your relationships, your other duties

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that you have, because otherwise, shit gets even worse.

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So to keep a guru mind is really difficult because when you start

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out when you invest money, when you learn to, you know, control

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things, but not over control and not micromanage, but manage. You

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learn a lot of things about yourself and about the people

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around you. You learn pretty quickly who you can trust, who

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you can ask for support, and who you can invite into your life.

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It's, it's very awesome to see that, you know, there's people

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who can simply listen, there's people who can give you advices

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people who can give you support. There's people who will not do

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either of these things they will not support you not give you

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advice, but they will be awesome at inviting you into their

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playful world where you can finally relax and recharge your

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batteries. But right now, at this moment in time, I have to

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give myself all of these things I have to give myself support

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advice. And I have to allow myself to be playful and to

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relax and to let go. Especially when it comes to the evening

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hours. There is no point in problem solving and

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brainstorming just before bedtime, because that will cause

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to your sleep. And like I love to repeat myself so diligently.

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Your sleep is home Lee. It doesn't matter if you are single

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and employed and feel like you don't really bring anything to

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society. I know you do and I hope that you will see that one

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day as well. or if you are a mom of six, or if you are husband,

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childless and running a business or employed, no matter in which

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position you are, you need your sleep, your body needs to rest

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and recuperate. And it is especially your mind that needs

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to process and detox from the happenings of the day. Because

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the next day, you want to keep going, you don't want to, you

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know, feel rundown by Friday, and then need Saturday and

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Sunday to feel alive again, you need that consistency of good

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sleep throughout the week, and maybe a little bit more over the

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weekend. And then you are well functioning. But especially when

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you have to regulate your own stress levels, right, I noticed

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that when we have our friends or family or girlfriend, boyfriend,

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spouse, partner, whatever it is close by, then we can kind of

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laugh at a situation, or brainstorm or get distracted for

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a little while. But if you are by yourself, we usually tend to

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be very, very harsh on ourselves. And to a point where

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we get so tensed and so worked up, that we don't serve any

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purpose anymore, we become tensed and frustrated and angry

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towards ourselves, we beat ourselves up, we regret our

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decisions. And then we would even take it out on other people

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if they started offering support, right. So it's, it's

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incredibly hard. Maybe it's just hard for me, by the way, maybe

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you are a bad as entrepreneur already. But when you have some

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stresses going on, and you have to be consistent, you want to

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see progress, you want to see problem solving, but you can run

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yourself down at the same time, you have to play both roles. In

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your own world, it is extremely important. And what I'm also

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learning is that when we have somebody close by Be it a friend

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or spouse or family member, a dog we also can't accept expect

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sorry, them to do it all. And then to drag us out of the

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quicksand, we have to keep ownership over our stuff that

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didn't go down well. And we can invite other people in, we can

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share what's bugging us what's frustrating us and ask for help

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ask for advice. But we can't overwhelm people with our

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problems with our stresses. And I know most of you guys are

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listening and you are pretty you know self sufficient maybe to a

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point where you bottle up too much. But maybe some of you

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girls and guys listening maybe you tend to always try and have

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other people take responsibility for your problems and you know

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let them make the decision relying too much on people's

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opinions and approval or something and we can look at

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this and learn how to be more self empowered self actualized

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and how to learn and boil down our problems to the very you

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know, rational most rational non emotional stage and then from

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there we can make really good decisions. I know it is tough

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when you know a lot of money is involved or some money you know

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if you made a lot of adjustments and saved up some money and then

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you invest it into a business or into a project and should go

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sideways. It's extremely hard to keep your cool because money is

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So much more than just an exchange for services or

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whatsoever.

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Money really gets, like money problems really get to our core,

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it really threatens our existence when stuff is not

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going well. So it is it is very challenging, but it is possible

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to keep your cool. And to weigh out your options, and to know

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that everything will fall into place, eventually. And the

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cooler and more clear and calm you allow yourself to be, the

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better it's going to go. I know for myself that I used to think

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that the more nervous and tensed and forceful I become, the more

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I will push through and achieve what needs to be achieved will

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solve what needs to be resolved. But by being that way, I harmed

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my relationships. And I hurt myself because I became so rigid

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and so tough on myself that it was uncomfortable to be in my

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skin. And it was very uncomfortable to be in the same

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room as me as my partner as my friend as my parents. So it is

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well worse, to step back, and to breathe and relax for a moment.

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And to distance yourself from the problem to then dive back in

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with a fresh mind. Let me see if this is everything I wanted to

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share with you. Yeah, I mean, it's not a secret anymore. I'm

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building a location for you to meet with me. Where I will offer

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mindset coaching, yoga. And my biggest excitement is around the

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workshops where I want to gather I want to find women who want to

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do this with me where we hold space for men, where men get to

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express how they feel. And where women can learn about men,

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because I've never witnessed a place like that at all. I will I

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will see how I bring this into life. I want to better the

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conversation the connection between between people and I

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feel the better we understand each other the stronger our

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society can be. So fasten your seat belts. I will be building

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something really beautiful for everybody was interested and

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yeah, it's in the progress and nothing will stop me. Alright,

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take really good care of yourself and I will be out there