Ep.31 The fear of the unknown interview with James Olsen.

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Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience podcast. I'm very, very excited to be talking to

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James Olsen. Today we will address racism and the issues

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that we see in society when it comes to indigenous people. And

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yeah, the people around I feel there's a lot of assumptions, a

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lot of fear, a lot of aggression. And, yeah, I have a

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lot of listeners from Germany from all over the place. And

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they don't know about some of the issues that we face here at

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time. And they're very relatable, though. It's not

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we're not an exception here in Canada. I think it's an issue

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that is now all over the world. And we want to talk about it

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today. And maybe, yeah, clean up some misconceptions, or Yeah,

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have a raw and genuine conversation about it. Because I

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think that's what has to happen. We have to start talking about

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it in order to heal and resolve those problems that exist. So

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James, awesome, thank you so much for taking the time to be

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with us here. Just jump into the topic, and we will go from

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there.

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Thanks, Aurora. Yeah. Well, thanks for having me on. Yeah,

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it. Stephanie, a topic that I think I can really relate to.

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For your listeners that don't know, I'm, I'm a Blackfoot

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native from siksika. nation. I've been on your show before,

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we haven't talked about racism or anything like that of those,

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you know, that that kind of area, but I've experienced it in

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my life before or, you know, taken on the assumption that it

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was it was racism, by the way that I was treated. Yeah, and I,

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I think, like you said, I agree with what you said that, that

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they definitely is affected by it. I think humans is is, you

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know, creatures naturally have some prejudice or or, or how

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would you say ideas, without fact based I guess or or just to

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jump to assumptions of how someone's going to be, or an

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experience is going to be based on just a general fact. Rather

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than actually, you know, allowing yourself to have an

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experience and take it in without prejudice, you know,

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prejudice, prejudging basically, coming to assumptions before

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your, your experience. I find when it happens with people,

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that's kind of where as humans we run into problem. Yeah, so it

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it's definitely a topic that I, I, I can I have experience

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personally with? And Lethbridge is a place where I think that

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that it is it is a part of that culture, society or, or that

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city? I think there's there's a, there's definite, that's that is

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part of it, you know? Yeah. So I don't know, I've, I put some

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thought into this. You talk to me about this topic. I think

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last time we spoke and I put some thought into it, and kind

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of the ideas that I come up with are my own my own ideas. I don't

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want you to think that I like I've these are, I'm just

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basically putting together thoughts. So I don't you know,

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these are facts. These aren't, you know, I don't have any of

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that based on another my own experience and in my own ideas.

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One of the ideas that I have is, is that racism or prejudice

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seems to me that by looking at society and And where seems

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Providence and try to come together with an idea why it's

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happening? I would assume or I would suggest maybe it's, it's

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the complication between the majority and the biggest

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minority. So New York, or, you know, big urban place like that

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out of the states, it seems to me it's white, and blacks. And

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they kind of like the button hat. But it always seems for

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them to be the majority, the biggest, basically the biggest

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minority. So whatever, whatever the majority is, and then the

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biggest minority, that seems to be the complicated relationship

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that it happens, if that makes any sense. And that's just an

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assumption of mine. I have no proof of that at all. I just

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something that I can, you know, looking at it when it happens

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and why it's just it seems like a reasonable assumption. So

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Lethbridge, being just outside of a reservation in a native

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reservation, the native population seems to be the

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biggest minority. You know, I don't see a lot of it had, you

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know, here's an example. Last, Bridgette seems to be the

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conflict between the weights and the names. You go to Calgary and

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it seemed like,

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I don't know if anybody else has experienced, but I, I see a

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complication between the whites and the East Indians. Because

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that seems to be the biggest, biggest majority there. It was a

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weird experience for me when I was younger, I moved to Calgary.

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And all sorts of that racial tension for me disappeared,

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vanished. There just didn't I was like mad calories, like,

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totally different plate. But I saw a lot of racial conflict

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between the the East Indians and and that was the kind of that I

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experiences and a native experience, I guess. And that's

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racial experience. So that's kind of where it came up that

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assumption. I don't know if there's any facts based or if

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there's any, anything that can prove that, but that's just what

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I see.

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But as I went over all the, what I thought, or how do I, yeah,

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what I thought were racist experiences in my own life. I

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was I sat there to try to go over all the events that I felt

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like I was, you know, being treated badly because of the

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color of my skin. Every, every single one of them. I, I have no

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proof that that was really what happened.

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But that's how you

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I did feel that but that was my under my own assumption is my

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point. And I'm gonna say what I have a story. Yeah. No, I

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will. Yeah, so that's, that's what

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it is that I believe it's valid. But I'll give you an example.

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And it this would this was recently this was like last

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week. I I just moved move to, to BC, to a little town called

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eltra. And one of the close towns by me, is ferny. And you

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know, we go there for shopping like they have bigger, you know,

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grocery stores and things of that nature. So, me my

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girlfriend and my, my child were in Fernie. And we went to the

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pharmacy, we went to a pharmacy drugstore and we were in there.

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I wasn't really looking for anything out of the pharmacy.

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But I had some questions for the pharmacist about about

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transferring over all my stuff to BC. And one of it was getting

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a doctor in BC because I'm a resident of BC now. And so I

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kind of I kind of had a question about what that what that looked

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like what you know, am I gonna run into problems? do you

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suggest it and more? I had the reason I had those questions was

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because I remember when I got my doctor in Lethbridge. It was

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really hard because the There was to get a family medical

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doctor was was kind of complicated because there were

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so many people and so few doctors. So it was it took a

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while for me to, to get a family doctor. And I was wondering if

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that same situation was happening BC. So I kind of had a

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question inside a question type of thing. So I went up to this,

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this pharmacist and this drugstore and he said, You know,

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I'm new. I'm a new resident here. What do you what do you

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think about me getting a doctor in town here? Should I stay with

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the one I got? Should I, you know, I, I've, I have asthma. I

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need my puffers. Like, can I transfer my prescriptions here?

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Kind of, you know, just, I'm looking for Jen, you know, if

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he's got pros and cons type helped me make a decision type

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of thing, thinking he would have some information because he's a

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pharmacist. And he kind of, he genuinely said, Well, I don't, I

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don't, it's kind of up to you. But I would suggest that you go

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talk to your doctor about it, see what he says, which was

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reasonable, but in COVID times, it's difficult to get into your

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doctor, it's even difficult to get him on the phone. And so I

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said that to him. And he was like, Well, I don't know what to

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tell you like. And we started kind of, we just weren't lining

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up on what I was looking for his advice. And he was kind of, in

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the position of, it's kind of, I don't have any advice to give.

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And I was getting too angry. I was like, not because do you

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kind of be in deflective, and really wasn't giving any he was

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gesturing to like, turning away and doing other things as he was

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speaking to me, and just didn't feel like being engaged. And

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part of the problem was, was I wasn't clear on my questioning.

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And then part of them was the, you know, really, in the moment,

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I just thought he had poor manners, you know, kind of

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turning his back to me as in the middle of his conversation. And,

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and I was, I was getting upset. You know, I was I was annoyed.

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And my girlfriend was standing behind me watching this. And she

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came in, and he interjected and started basically answering for

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him and like, and I was like, Well, I know that stuff. Like,

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you don't need to, like, I'm aware of that. You know, that

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I'm talking to her. And she's like, Well, come on, let's just

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go. And so we go outside, and I'm frustrated, and I'm upset.

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And I'm like, that goes a debt. Like, what the hell and, and

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he's, she's like,

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I think he was being racist. And I'm like, ah, I, naturally, I

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could have gotten there very easily. But then, like, the

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logic in me was, like, first of all, I got a mask on, you know,

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you can see, you know, like, I'm not super dark. You know, my

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complexion isn't super dark. It is noticeable. But I just

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assumed that that he wasn't. And when you brought this topic up,

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that you reminded me of that story, how easily I could turn

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the narrative how someone treats me into racism. And, and I, as I

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looked back on my experience, that I felt like I was being

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treated, treated race racist. A lot of them reflected that

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story. where it was, I could easily assume that that's what

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was going on. And it might not have been and that's kind of so

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I'm not saying that there's no such thing as racism. I'm just

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saying that that in a lot of my experiences, it's just the easy

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assumption. Well

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yeah, I must say that I really did. Didn't expect anything like

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I knew we were going to talk about this topic, but for you to

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voice This is so big. I hope you know that because me as a white

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person. Now I know that if I talk to you, you will see like

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all different shades you will see Oh, Aurora is being rude.

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She's being an ass. As a human being, or Aurora is being plain

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racist, and yeah, it's two different things that you can

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mix up so easily. But some people are just rude. Like some

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people just absolutely no behavior. And I feel for your

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own good, then it's, it's better for you to see, okay, that was

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an asshole instead of all I was being treated racist, because

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that's even more painful to realize, right?

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It is in its it creates resentments and anger, you know,

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like it's in then the reverse happens when I go home, any

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like, I don't want to give the wrong idea that racism doesn't

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exist. But what I this, this approach when I when I actually

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think about it, all I've seen is I'm not going to jump to that

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conclusion till I know that they state that fact. And if they

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state that back, then I think there's a conversation in need,

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if they're willing to have it. Like, let's talk about it. Like,

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if you feel that way. And like, like, let's have a discussion.

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Like, like, if, if you run into me, and all you see is my skin

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color, and you take it you take, not even if I can get five

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minutes out of you believe me that my skin color is going to

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be the last thing you think about? I'm going to make you

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question why you have these prejudice? Yeah, and that that's

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my objective. You know, and I think that that position is a

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more powerful position than then the hatred caused by racism,

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yes,

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is, is you know, like, because it's sort of a victimized

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position, and you hate me because of my skin. Or you,

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because of my culture, my people or what you've seen in my

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people, you know, like, you can't do anything about it,

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you're you, you're really a victim in that situation. And

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it's a shame. But I think in the position that I'm just gonna

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assume that race has nothing to do with it. And if you do, if

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you do think that way, then then I feel for you, and I want it. I

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honestly want to hear why. And see if we there's any sort of

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discussion about. And so for me, what it is, is taking, getting

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out of the position of a victim where I'm prejudged as my skin

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color culture, my, the people that I come from, to a position

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of as a human being, I want to know why you can't see me as a

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fellow human being rather than, than this, this my nationality.

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And, and let's talk on a personal one to one. But part of

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that position of always assuming that someone is is just a person

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and just mean in rude and bad manners, rather than the hate

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all natives are Indians, whatever you want to say. What

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it does for me is it creates a position of, of power in the

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fact that I am not letting your problems affect me. If you have

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a problem back to your personal problem, and not mind that I

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need to carry, because what it does is it if you if you go

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around it, that everybody hates you because of your skin color,

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then the only position to feel any sort of control is to hate

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him back. And it causes almost reverse racism. And I see it a

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lot where a lot of poorly treated natives are come to the

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conclusion that all white people suck. You know, they're just

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judging they, they treat me bad. And that's a that's a terrible,

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terrible position to be in because you're a victim to a

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society. You're not you can't join you in so it causes

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separation. It causes resentments. It causes prejudice

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turned back on itself. Yeah. And there's just it just you're,

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you're trapped in a in a in a society that doesn't like you.

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That's That's awesome. Yeah,

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yeah. And you created

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Yeah, well, it's I don't think it's created in your own head.

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Sure something happened that did and you might have run into a

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racist person, but as a whole in the, especially with the current

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current climate around that topic. I mean, there was, you

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know, the move black, you know, Black Lives Matter and thing

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where, you know, I don't think any celebrity that announces

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that he's racism, I'm almost positive that your career is

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done in that moment. It Like, just like, the general what, in

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my point being the general public doesn't agree with their

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they're very offended by racism. And so, on that point alone, I'm

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just gonna assume that the general public isn't isn't

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racist. Right? And that there's a few bad apples. But I can't

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let myself just assume that because of your skin color that

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you you, you just automatically feel that way or have those

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beliefs. Because it holds me back. And it not only does hold

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me back, but it puts me in a place of somebody else's has

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control over me.

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Exactly. I

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can't I, for myself, I can't exist like that. I have control

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over my Yeah. And there's a there's a ceiling, there's a

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saying that the references that talk, you know, that idea, and

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then it's assumed ignorance before malevolence. And what

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they mean by that, like, like, just assume that they don't

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know. And malevolence just means the act of being evil. for the

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reason of being, right. And so before we assume that humans are

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malevolent, and mean and evil, assume that they're just dark.

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They don't know. They're actually, you know, and I mean,

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more than often, it's a great ship like that, that that works

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in so many different ways that that same, you know, that that

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is just, they're dumb when it comes to matters that that

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pharmacist kept turning his back on me as we're having a

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conversation. He just sucked at having conversations and didn't

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know how to be engaging in the conversation. It wasn't that he

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he saw my skin color past my mask and my hat that I was

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wearing, and all one of these guys, you know, like, Yeah, she

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was just rude. He was, you know, but, and it's not gonna work for

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everything. But I think when, like, let's completely identify

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the fact that someone is racist, and then address that, rather

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than the assumption. And like, leaving it inside, you know,

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because if you assume that and you walk away, you're now you're

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carrying it around. Exactly. It's in your head. You didn't

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address it, and you're carrying around or you wrongly accused

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it? You know, you could I could only imagine what if someone

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came up to you, and said, I think you're racist, you know,

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how that would affect you and bother you? And try, like, how

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do you prove that you're not? Like, make what do you have?

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Like, it's, it's one of those things that you can just paint a

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hole, you know, but the problem is, is the discussion, it's not

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open for discussion. You're, you've stabbed a label on

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somebody. And like, we said, it's something that needs to be

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discussed. If you have a prejudice against natives, I'd

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say because I can, I can relate to that. Let's go further and

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discuss like, I want to discuss it with you. I want to know how

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you got there. And what I've seen, because I know, I know

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people that that have prejudice, and that are that are racist.

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And as far as I can tell, it's been handed down by the parents.

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I find it relatable to, let's say, child abuse. What I mean by

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that is, is there's been studies about how many kids that have

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experienced child abuse, and then ended up abusing their own

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kids. If you think about it, if it's taught, it's learned, they

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have every reason they have every reason to continue that so

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but the study shows that that it's a small percent that does,

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that actually went through child abuse and then chose to abuse

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their own children. It's an actual small percent that does.

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And if it, you know, in one study, they said, if it wasn't

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an everyone that was it had experienced child abuse, abuse

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their children, that in something like seven

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generations, every child parent relationship would be abusive.

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That's how, how they get it, it just grows. So that kind of that

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idea kind of states that the resilience of humans, you know,

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like, I went through something bad and I choose not to continue

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that, that cycle. And I think that that's, that also goes

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with, with the racial thing, the fact the race, the racism,

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sorry, that just because your parents had some screwed up

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ideas about things or people and they they announced it as a

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child, you yourself get to choose what you're going to do

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with that. It's not what I was taught that this is how it is.

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I, you know, I think it's so it's kind of a weak idea to

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think that just because you were shown it as a child that, that

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that's enough that you're going to make those assumptions

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yourself. Right, you know, I think that it that like

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Lethbridge, I think a great part of the bad relationships between

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whites and natives. A lot of it comes from the homeless

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population. The homeless have an overall number, the majority of

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the homeless population in Lethbridge is native. And you

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can see that it reflects badly on you know, natives, but I

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mean, not every homeless person in the world is native. It goes,

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it changes from location to location. And, you know, I think

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that it's just a poor connection, it's it's an, it's

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an unreasonable, you know, line between two dots homeless and

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NATO's. It's just a put, like, so then to generalize, in that

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let your, you create an identity from that is just a lack of

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information or lack of willingness to do any sort of,

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you know, research on your own or really look into it. Right,

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it's kind of a lazy assumption is what I'm getting. So my point

Unknown: 00:28:36

being is that I really think the way to solve racism would be you

Unknown: 00:28:49

know, I related to the the environment there's a lot of

Unknown: 00:28:57

people out there trying to change the world and good for

Unknown: 00:28:59

them. And I I feel for the ones out there, you know, try to save

Unknown: 00:29:08

the oceans try to save the climate, try to save the

Unknown: 00:29:11

forests. That's a big, like, if you want to pick a fight, that's

Unknown: 00:29:16

the biggest fight you know, I'm going to change the world. Well,

Unknown: 00:29:19

good for you. And like I wish you the best. But I hope you

Unknown: 00:29:25

have yourself organized. I hope that you have your own issues

Unknown: 00:29:30

taken care of before you change the world. And my The reason I

Unknown: 00:29:35

hope that is because the best I'm a big believer myself is the

Unknown: 00:29:43

best way to change the world is yourself. If everybody took

Unknown: 00:29:51

responsibility for their self, a lot of a lot of the world's

Unknown: 00:29:54

issues would go away and that's what so my my position It is

Unknown: 00:30:02

really a position of mastering self. When you start taking care

Unknown: 00:30:08

of your own backyard, the world's a little bit prettier in

Unknown: 00:30:12

your neighborhood. And if everybody else starts taking

Unknown: 00:30:16

care of their own backyard, and being accountable for their own

Unknown: 00:30:20

actions, it can be world changing, really. And it like,

Unknown: 00:30:27

from right from, you know, the environment to racism, I think

Unknown: 00:30:35

in my position, or that is just because you can't change others,

Unknown: 00:30:40

you're smashing yourself on a on a break, if you want to change

Unknown: 00:30:43

the ideas of others. I'm sorry, I hate to burst your bubble, but

Unknown: 00:30:49

you're not going to eradicate racism, there's always going to

Unknown: 00:30:54

be a few, that buellton usually you can change your mind. And it

Unknown: 00:31:01

sucks that they're there that, that, but he feels that way, but

Unknown: 00:31:05

it's a fact. But what you can do, is be accountable for your

Unknown: 00:31:10

own ideas and your own beliefs and, and really put, like, you

Unknown: 00:31:15

know, someone I listened to is, before you save the world, make

Unknown: 00:31:19

sure your room is clean. And what that means is your head is

Unknown: 00:31:26

orderly or literally your room. Yeah, how dare you bro and judge

Unknown: 00:31:30

the rest of the world, when you can't even make your bed, get

Unknown: 00:31:34

organized, get yourself straight. And then if you still

Unknown: 00:31:40

feel like there's something to be done, do that. But when you

Unknown: 00:31:44

walk in, when you're out there, you know, virtue signaling, that

Unknown: 00:31:52

you you just make sure that you you know, if somebody goes,

Unknown: 00:31:56

starts diving into your background, that it's you've got

Unknown: 00:31:59

it all cleaned and tidy. You know, because it's, you lose,

Unknown: 00:32:05

you lose the power of what you try to do. When you haven't

Unknown: 00:32:09

taken care of your own backyard. And you're complaining about the

Unknown: 00:32:12

way the neighborhood is, you know, like, you don't have you,

Unknown: 00:32:18

if you're on a soapbox, it's not very strong. Because you, you're

Unknown: 00:32:24

on false pretenses, you know, like, anybody, you know, you

Unknown: 00:32:27

just have, it's just a better way, if you got if you have a

Unknown: 00:32:30

strong foundation, then it you, you it's not going to be shaken.

Unknown: 00:32:36

But when you're when you're when you're judging others for their

Unknown: 00:32:41

behaviors and your own, your own are weak. It's not a very sturdy

Unknown: 00:32:48

position to be in.

Unknown: 00:32:50

Yeah.

Unknown: 00:32:52

The problem sometimes is that we take our thoughts, our beliefs,

Unknown: 00:32:57

so serious, we believe them to be so true, that we would never

Unknown: 00:33:02

start in question. Because if we did, our reality would crumble,

Unknown: 00:33:08

we would have to, like create a new reality on how we see life

Unknown: 00:33:14

and the world. And that's so scary. Like, it's so much easier

Unknown: 00:33:18

to look at the neighbor and say, all day long and this, but if

Unknown: 00:33:23

you look at yourself, and to get to that point is such a big

Unknown: 00:33:27

journey, too. Because, yeah, like I said, we we think our

Unknown: 00:33:32

thoughts are normal. We think the way we feel about certain

Unknown: 00:33:36

things is normal. And till we question like what was given

Unknown: 00:33:41

from my parents into my little backpack? That I should actually

Unknown: 00:33:46

question in order to make evolution happen and make, like

Unknown: 00:33:52

racism maybe disappear one day? And you're totally right, I get

Unknown: 00:33:58

exactly what you mean that we have to look at ourselves first,

Unknown: 00:34:03

and that some people? Don't, they just tried to change

Unknown: 00:34:08

others. Yeah,

Unknown: 00:34:10

it's so much easier to change. It's so much easier to look at

Unknown: 00:34:14

their faults. Because you don't need when you're looking at

Unknown: 00:34:18

seeing somebody else's faults. You don't have to do any work.

Unknown: 00:34:22

Yeah, you just make it determined. Well, that person

Unknown: 00:34:25

should take care of that they should be accountable for that.

Unknown: 00:34:28

They should do the work to fix it. But when you look at

Unknown: 00:34:31

yourself, you're the one on the hook. You're the one that needs

Unknown: 00:34:36

to do the work. That's a lot of that's a harder position than

Unknown: 00:34:41

judging somebody else for not taking care of themselves. Now

Unknown: 00:34:44

you need to step up and start working on yourself and change

Unknown: 00:34:49

you to things about yourself. Yeah, so we were like water, we

Unknown: 00:34:54

take the easiest route all the time. It's just a natural

Unknown: 00:34:59

behavior of And so, but the problem is, is when, when you're

Unknown: 00:35:04

taking the easy route, the results suck, you get the, the

Unknown: 00:35:11

results, and the amount of effort something takes are an

Unknown: 00:35:16

exact correlation. Mm hmm. Anything of worse, has to be

Unknown: 00:35:22

earned or for is hard to gain. It's, it's factual, like, you

Unknown: 00:35:28

know, it's, if you give somebody a car, in three weeks, it's

Unknown: 00:35:34

going to be the wrong the wrong color. If they spent five years

Unknown: 00:35:38

earning the money for it, you know, that little jalopy is

Unknown: 00:35:43

gonna be the their prized possession. Yes, they worked and

Unknown: 00:35:47

earned it. And the, that's just factual of humans being so it's,

Unknown: 00:35:52

it's, we get a lot of fulfillment out of earning and

Unknown: 00:35:57

hard work at gaining something. And it and it's, it's so true,

Unknown: 00:36:03

even with our existence, our that we fought for it and worked

Unknown: 00:36:09

on and, and ideas that we gained by, you know, researching or

Unknown: 00:36:14

studying, those are, those are sort of assumptions of like, the

Unknown: 00:36:21

racial assumption is just, it's, it's easy. You just connected to

Unknown: 00:36:27

dots, where they're factual or not, you didn't put a lot of

Unknown: 00:36:30

research into like, any sort of, you know, looked into evidence

Unknown: 00:36:37

that you've you put some time and effort into, would have

Unknown: 00:36:40

proven you wrong. You would, because if you look at I don't

Unknown: 00:36:46

care, you know, what your skin color is, every one of us is

Unknown: 00:36:52

different. Where we can't group a customer skin color, where

Unknown: 00:36:59

we're from, or or it's, each individual is an individual End

Unknown: 00:37:05

of story. You know, and so, if you took, took that as this as a

Unknown: 00:37:13

fact, and just look at every individual as an individual, the

Unknown: 00:37:21

world like racism would disappear. But the only way you

Unknown: 00:37:26

can do that is starting with yourself.

Unknown: 00:37:31

You know, and I feel like the power position that you're

Unknown: 00:37:35

taking, like, I hope so many people will hear this because

Unknown: 00:37:39

both sides have to hear that white people have to hear that.

Unknown: 00:37:43

And native people have to hear that. Because what you're saying

Unknown: 00:37:47

is so powerful that you refuse to put yourself in the victim

Unknown: 00:37:53

position of a victim, and you give people the benefit of the

Unknown: 00:37:57

doubt. Right, you

Unknown: 00:38:00

Yeah, it's well, it goes back to to the the, the golden rule of

Unknown: 00:38:11

treat others where you want to be treated. I would never want

Unknown: 00:38:14

anyone to come to me and say, You've judged me on the color of

Unknown: 00:38:18

my skin. So I've documented you that with someone else. And what

Unknown: 00:38:24

it does is it creates dialogue. And if I could, it's so easily

Unknown: 00:38:31

when, you know, just assume that when my girlfriend mentioned it

Unknown: 00:38:35

about that pharmacist, that's what his property just judged

Unknown: 00:38:39

me. He, you know, I just don't I don't see any positives in that.

Unknown: 00:38:48

Now I now I have now I have a resentment against this. This

Unknown: 00:38:52

guy. What am I gonna do with it? Well, nothing is just going to

Unknown: 00:38:57

torment me and dark place. Yeah, I'm gonna, you know, I'm gonna

Unknown: 00:39:01

be fixed up. I see a pharmacist simulate. Well, that last one

Unknown: 00:39:04

was he was racist. Like, I hate these pharmacists, you know, it

Unknown: 00:39:09

just create more problems in anything cause.

Unknown: 00:39:13

Exactly, exactly.

Unknown: 00:39:17

And so like, I guess a good like, a good reference is what's

Unknown: 00:39:23

the difference between anger and resentment? And so it's a good

Unknown: 00:39:28

analogy I heard was, if you're in the garage, and you smash

Unknown: 00:39:33

your finger with a hammer, you're going to throw that

Unknown: 00:39:36

hammer across the garage, and that's going to be anger. But a

Unknown: 00:39:41

resentment is you smack your head with a hammer, and then

Unknown: 00:39:46

three weeks later, you're trying to figure out a way to get back

Unknown: 00:39:49

at that hammer. Well, that's what you do with people when you

Unknown: 00:39:53

pick up a resentment. It consumed it's taken up your

Unknown: 00:39:57

time. It's taken up your You're you want to get back you want

Unknown: 00:40:02

revenge you want, you know, and it's just, it's negative energy

Unknown: 00:40:06

that's consuming your your day and your thoughts. And it really

Unknown: 00:40:10

it's I, there's not a positives, there's not a lot of positives.

Unknown: 00:40:16

It's so much easier just to go back to that what you know that

Unknown: 00:40:20

one quote of you know, assume ignorance over malevolence that

Unknown: 00:40:28

he was just dumb. Like, he just didn't know how to hold the

Unknown: 00:40:30

conversation. He didn't. He didn't know how to interact with

Unknown: 00:40:33

people. I don't believe that he's, he's hateful. And if he

Unknown: 00:40:38

is, he's the one losing out. Yeah, that's his. That's his

Unknown: 00:40:44

cross to bear. Yeah, I don't want to pick it up. Like Sorry,

Unknown: 00:40:47

but I just don't want to. It's, for me, it's, it's master of

Unknown: 00:40:55

self.

Unknown: 00:40:56

Yes.

Unknown: 00:40:57

What can I change for the better?

Unknown: 00:41:00

Yeah.

Unknown: 00:41:01

Master of my own eternal destiny. I can be a better part

Unknown: 00:41:09

of society, because I choose to carry these positive beliefs or

Unknown: 00:41:16

or to not continue with this. this. them and they, you know,

Unknown: 00:41:25

that minutes?

Unknown: 00:41:26

Yeah.

Unknown: 00:41:28

I'm gonna see everyone is as a different situation.

Unknown: 00:41:32

Yeah. And that's the only way I feel I do that with cashiers.

Unknown: 00:41:36

Like, sometimes when a cashier is being rude with me, I just

Unknown: 00:41:40

think, oh, she's having a bad day. I'm not going to take a

Unknown: 00:41:43

personal but because, and then I invent stories. Maybe her dad

Unknown: 00:41:47

died, maybe her brother is an asshole or something, to not

Unknown: 00:41:51

make it about myself anymore. Because people tend to do that

Unknown: 00:41:55

we take two things too serious and too personal, and then

Unknown: 00:42:00

really react and add fire to the fire and it's just a complete

Unknown: 00:42:05

mess. Can I share with

Unknown: 00:42:07

you position? The position? Yes.

Unknown: 00:42:10

Yeah, no.

Unknown: 00:42:14

I was gonna say was the position of a victim is you've you've

Unknown: 00:42:19

given all your power to that. Yes. You don't have any. You

Unknown: 00:42:22

don't have any

Unknown: 00:42:23

role. Exactly.

Unknown: 00:42:26

Can you state? Your

Unknown: 00:42:29

Yeah, they control your happiness and how you feel about

Unknown: 00:42:32

yourself. But you also give them the control, right?

Unknown: 00:42:37

Absolutely. Yeah.

Unknown: 00:42:39

I would like to share with you and it's the first time I share

Unknown: 00:42:42

this with with a native person here in Canada. My pre pre

Unknown: 00:42:48

Judas, how do you say prejudice?

Unknown: 00:42:52

prejudice, prejudice,

Unknown: 00:42:53

prejudice that I had when I came here, I moved here seven years

Unknown: 00:42:57

ago. And growing up in Germany, we saw these movies, where

Unknown: 00:43:06

Europeans were coming into America and the slaughter and

Unknown: 00:43:11

other violence and like horrible things that happened. I get

Unknown: 00:43:18

here. Yeah. And that was seven years ago, I was so surprised

Unknown: 00:43:25

that nobody even addresses that topic. Like, I saw white people

Unknown: 00:43:33

looking down to native people and say, I they're drug addicts,

Unknown: 00:43:38

homeless, blah, blah, blah. And I, I kept being more and more

Unknown: 00:43:43

curious, because coming from Germany, my generation is used

Unknown: 00:43:48

to reflect about World War Two, and to make sure that this will

Unknown: 00:43:53

never ever happen again. So I come to Canada and kind of Oh,

Unknown: 00:43:59

this is how everybody deals with bullshit from the from history.

Unknown: 00:44:04

But here I I realized nobody is addressing it. Like, you guys

Unknown: 00:44:10

look down on like, What the fuck is going on? Really? I was

Unknown: 00:44:15

getting mad. And I started meeting with natives and it was

Unknown: 00:44:20

weird for them, you know, this white chick from Germany? Why is

Unknown: 00:44:23

she interested in us, but I needed to make sense of it. And

Unknown: 00:44:29

I went to that. I forgot his name, but he holds a speech at

Unknown: 00:44:34

the university about resent residential schools. And then I

Unknown: 00:44:39

started to think Okay, now we're getting to the point now, but

Unknown: 00:44:44

there was nobody in that classroom that were five people.

Unknown: 00:44:49

And we I think we were all immigrants. We will all from

Unknown: 00:44:51

Europe, supporting this native guy. What is going on? Why are

Unknown: 00:44:57

Canadians not looking at Like, you have to look at it, feel bad

Unknown: 00:45:04

about it, and then find solutions, but you can't run

Unknown: 00:45:07

away. It's the it's not possible. So I started and then

Unknown: 00:45:12

I think with Trudeau, he's not awesome. I'm not going to pull

Unknown: 00:45:16

out politics here. But he started to disclose more and

Unknown: 00:45:20

more stories about residential. What happened back then with

Unknown: 00:45:25

residential schools. And I was okay, now now we're getting

Unknown: 00:45:29

better. Like now we're reflecting. And then I lived in

Unknown: 00:45:35

Lethbridge, and saw for myself like I worked in a little

Unknown: 00:45:39

grocery store. And there was a lot of stealing and bullshit

Unknown: 00:45:44

going on. And 90% of the time, it was people with native

Unknown: 00:45:51

background, the assumption I made was that native people have

Unknown: 00:45:56

went through so much trauma.

Unknown: 00:46:00

And they were forced in the schools and they went through so

Unknown: 00:46:03

much, like horrible things there that traumatized them. And that

Unknown: 00:46:10

trauma is inherited. you inherit the pain that you suffer, and

Unknown: 00:46:17

you give the story to your children. And they have that

Unknown: 00:46:21

pain on their DNA, so to say, and, of course, and I was, I was

Unknown: 00:46:27

just like you I had so much troubles in school. So a big

Unknown: 00:46:31

part of me was able to relate to people that were being, like,

Unknown: 00:46:38

forced through this school system. And I just, that's my

Unknown: 00:46:45

assumptions that I made is that spiritual people have no place

Unknown: 00:46:51

in this white society, they're being pushed to the edge, and

Unknown: 00:46:55

being shown that they're not valuable. And I see myself as a

Unknown: 00:47:00

spiritual person. But the native community even more like more in

Unknown: 00:47:05

tune with nature, more in tune with health and medicine. And I

Unknown: 00:47:11

feel like the travels that we have right now, like the

Unknown: 00:47:16

solution, the key to to positivity again, lies in the

Unknown: 00:47:21

native community, because you know, how to heal and how to

Unknown: 00:47:27

live with nature, and not, yeah, destroy nature, and live a

Unknown: 00:47:35

healthy life in tune with nature. But there's no place for

Unknown: 00:47:39

that in society. So what I like the conclusion I made is that

Unknown: 00:47:45

those people find escape and prostitution and alcoholism,

Unknown: 00:47:51

because they feel they don't belong, and they feel they

Unknown: 00:47:54

don't. They're not being valued for that they can bring to

Unknown: 00:47:59

society. And some people say I can, I can totally see how that

Unknown: 00:48:07

could be a reality. And some people say, No, I think that's a

Unknown: 00:48:10

little bit too far fetched. Does it make sense? what I'm sharing

Unknown: 00:48:16

with you, like, can you

Unknown: 00:48:19

get the AI does and I think that there's there's a multitude of

Unknown: 00:48:23

of problems there that you you addressed, you know, the frog's

Unknown: 00:48:35

feeling to, you know, you said the majority was native to, you

Unknown: 00:48:42

know, the problems of addiction and homelessness and, and so,

Unknown: 00:48:50

again, I'm going to return to the fact of, you know, we could

Unknown: 00:48:55

take the world on and all the world's problems, or we could be

Unknown: 00:49:00

accountable for ourselves. And that's my message. Well, you

Unknown: 00:49:04

know, you could, you could sit there and say, you know, like,

Unknown: 00:49:08

let's fix these problems or problems of, you know, you going

Unknown: 00:49:13

back to to you know, my mother was in residential school and it

Unknown: 00:49:18

directly affected you know, her and what happened with her the

Unknown: 00:49:26

problem that I have with it, and I'm not speaking for her anybody

Unknown: 00:49:31

that was in residential school, because I have no experience in

Unknown: 00:49:34

that. The only thing I have experience in is identified

Unknown: 00:49:40

myself as a victim of somebody else's poor behavior. And I, and

Unknown: 00:49:47

I, I fight that position because of this. It's a helpless

Unknown: 00:49:53

position. You can't do a damn thing about you can't do a damn

Unknown: 00:50:00

Thinking about the past, you can't do a damn thing about

Unknown: 00:50:02

being wronged. You can't change others, the only way to get back

Unknown: 00:50:08

from victim to survivor is to say, what can I do about myself,

Unknown: 00:50:17

I choose to pass these things that happened to me on or to my

Unknown: 00:50:22

children, in spite of what happened to me I choose to try

Unknown: 00:50:27

be the best mom I can be, I try to be the best person in

Unknown: 00:50:32

society, I can be I and and it's only you can't, you can't, if

Unknown: 00:50:38

you're hoping to fix the wrongs of the world. Good for you. I

Unknown: 00:50:45

hope you do. But what my position that I the message that

Unknown: 00:50:50

I that I have about this, and a lot of other issues is what are

Unknown: 00:50:56

you doing to fix yourself. Because when the reality of the

Unknown: 00:51:00

situation is, the only thing in this world you can change is

Unknown: 00:51:04

yourself. The only thing that's an absolute for me that and if

Unknown: 00:51:12

everybody took that position, that's where world change

Unknown: 00:51:16

happens. But it doesn't. So like they, you can absolutely change

Unknown: 00:51:25

how you are and how you act, it's going to take time, it's

Unknown: 00:51:29

going to take effort, it's going to take searching, trying to

Unknown: 00:51:33

figure out how to do it. But what you do, and when you when

Unknown: 00:51:38

you become positive, and when you become your own master the

Unknown: 00:51:43

world around you gets better your children have a better

Unknown: 00:51:46

father, you're you're a better child, you're better at who you

Unknown: 00:51:52

are a better employee, employee, you're in a better employer,

Unknown: 00:51:58

you're a better friend. And that little part of you that work,

Unknown: 00:52:03

which is that part of the world that you take everything around,

Unknown: 00:52:07

you gets better. Because you made a choice to make yourself

Unknown: 00:52:11

better. And if everybody did that, and what it also does, is

Unknown: 00:52:17

creates attraction. People look at you and they're like, I don't

Unknown: 00:52:21

know what it is about Aurora, but some of that woman I like

Unknown: 00:52:26

how can I be more nice for edit, it's attractive in in in

Unknown: 00:52:32

attraction is where other people are going to want to do what

Unknown: 00:52:38

you're doing. And that's how they really believe that's how

Unknown: 00:52:43

the world changes is taking a position of I'm going to leave

Unknown: 00:52:50

the world a little bit better than the way that I found it.

Unknown: 00:52:54

And I'm going to start with that today. By changing myself.

Unknown: 00:52:59

Well, like, I hope you know that you are such like inspiration

Unknown: 00:53:08

and such a warrior. And I hope that you have listeners like

Unknown: 00:53:14

beside my podcast you that you have a platform where you

Unknown: 00:53:19

express yourself you shine your light like you do here. Do you

Unknown: 00:53:23

have that?

Unknown: 00:53:25

Yes, you know, I I have friends that I work with and I have, you

Unknown: 00:53:31

know, people that I work with in the you know, in the addiction

Unknown: 00:53:36

community that Yeah, I definitely share that message.

Unknown: 00:53:39

And it's a big part of my recovery stories. being

Unknown: 00:53:43

accountable for my own actions and changing what I can change.

Unknown: 00:53:47

That's me.

Unknown: 00:53:48

Yeah, and for me what I just shared to know that no, you

Unknown: 00:53:52

don't want pity. You don't want to go back and see Oh, yeah, all

Unknown: 00:53:57

that trauma. And this is why I'm a victim today. You want to be

Unknown: 00:54:01

empowered, and you want to feel understood.

Unknown: 00:54:06

Absolutely. Yeah. Everybody does. Everybody what I think

Unknown: 00:54:11

that that's why, you know, some of the strongest words in in the

Unknown: 00:54:18

human vocabulary is me too. That means somebody is listening to

Unknown: 00:54:24

you. Somebody understands, and somebody identifies with you.

Unknown: 00:54:29

Yeah, it creates it creates a connection. Yeah. It I think

Unknown: 00:54:36

those those are, that's a powerful position. Yeah, is to

Unknown: 00:54:39

be able to identify with somebody else's struggle and

Unknown: 00:54:45

share those hardships. And there's a connection built where

Unknown: 00:54:50

you can once a year, can you share a hardship You can also

Unknown: 00:54:54

share a triumph as well. You know, in that, for me, that's

Unknown: 00:55:05

what community is, you know, to be a part of the lows and the

Unknown: 00:55:11

highs. Yeah.

Unknown: 00:55:14

Yeah. But being accountable for yourself for your actions,

Unknown: 00:55:19

reflecting about your thoughts and your reactions in daily

Unknown: 00:55:23

life. And to ask questions to be curious, whenever you sense,

Unknown: 00:55:30

races vibes, go in there and ask questions without being

Unknown: 00:55:34

aggressive, like, just assume that the person doesn't know how

Unknown: 00:55:39

they just made you feel. And and go from there. Because this is

Unknown: 00:55:43

how you keep your powerful position. You don't you don't go

Unknown: 00:55:48

into defensiveness and victim mentality, you keep your

Unknown: 00:55:54

powerful position, when you just assume the other person doesn't

Unknown: 00:55:58

know better. And if they are racist. Yeah, then leave it at

Unknown: 00:56:07

their like in their How do you say on their side? And don't

Unknown: 00:56:12

take it on? And?

Unknown: 00:56:16

Yeah, like I said, if if you read into me it denounced that

Unknown: 00:56:21

you are racist. The first and only thing I want to do is I

Unknown: 00:56:25

want to have a discussion about it. Tell me about it. Tell me

Unknown: 00:56:29

how you got to that position. Let's discuss what where you

Unknown: 00:56:33

came up with these beliefs. Like I just curiosity fact I want to

Unknown: 00:56:39

know. And then, let's, let's take a rational look at like,

Unknown: 00:56:45

let's let's throw some logic out of that, that fire yours. And

Unknown: 00:56:49

let's see what comes out. Yeah. And I'm not there to change your

Unknown: 00:56:54

mind. But I'm there to make you think about something. I

Unknown: 00:56:58

guarantee you if you came to me, and were judging me on my skin,

Unknown: 00:57:03

when you left that conversation, my skin's The last thing you're

Unknown: 00:57:06

going to be thinking about. Yeah, you know, I'm gonna plant

Unknown: 00:57:09

some ideas in your head. Is that? That, you know, that's

Unknown: 00:57:19

that's the point is, is if you ask questions, you're in a

Unknown: 00:57:26

position that you're going to make somebody else. Think about

Unknown: 00:57:31

what their own actions. Yeah. And that's, that's the Genesis

Unknown: 00:57:36

to change. That's the Genesis to accountability. What am I doing?

Unknown: 00:57:43

Why am I doing that? I think that's the real the real message

Unknown: 00:57:48

there. Yeah, thanks for having me on.

Unknown: 00:57:52

Yeah, man. This was a very powerful conversation. I'm so

Unknown: 00:57:56

glad that we connected once more like another topic that you

Unknown: 00:58:02

totally aced. Thank you so much for listening to this episode.

Unknown: 00:58:07

You people out there and I hope you can spread this beautiful

Unknown: 00:58:11

message of empowerment and yeah, inspiration motivation to make

Unknown: 00:58:18

this world a better place with less racism.