Ep. 31 Having no competition and being unstoppable [self-empowerment]

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Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora, and I'm very happy to be

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spending some time with you today. It is, yeah, end of

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October, it's getting gray and cold out there. So please be

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reminded that I'm offering coaching sessions now. If ever

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you feel blue, dark, uninspired or stuck, I'm there for you,

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too. Yeah, empower yourself. And I will provide you with tools

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that can sweeten up your life for sure. I received the most

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awesomest compliment here the other day, I was called a secret

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weapon, secret weapon of love, light and empowerment, because

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the person who had connected with me didn't tell his her

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friends. And he she started working with my tools and his

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environment, her environment started reacting very positively

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to his her change. So yeah, I was feeling very joyous and

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excited about it. Because that's exactly my intention. I want to

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provide people with tools that I back then didn't have to dig

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myself out and lighten the weight, and help people to be

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Yeah, happier with themselves, the more happy we are with

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ourselves, the better people we can be in society, and the

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better parents, friends sexual, like romantic partners, and I

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think we all win. We all win. If we start looking inside of

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ourselves first. Today, I want to talk about being unstoppable.

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i There's so much stuff out there, you know, inspirational

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coaching stuff. And I hope I don't sound too cliche here if I

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use that word unstoppable. But feeling being unstoppable is

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something that is really hard to describe it is that little alarm

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clock in the morning, that doesn't feel like an alarm

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clock, it makes you spring, jump out of bed and be productive

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because you are so excited about what you're doing and pursuing

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your purpose and connecting with people. And whatever you do. It

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doesn't really matter. It is an intrinsic motivation. That

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pushes you to do incredible stuff that pushes you to

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accomplish things that back then or maybe even still now you

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think how am I actually doing this? And it is because you know

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your why? Maybe you have read a couple books on that already.

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And you can just roll your eyes and skip to the next episode.

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But maybe that this is new to you. If we know why we get up in

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the morning, and it is a very strong intrinsic motivation. We

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are capable of doing the impossible. Look at the person.

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You know I'm picking jobs now where people usually look down

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on look at the street sweeper, who is doing an amazing job

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because he just loves knowing that people enjoy a clean

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sidewalk. Look at the McDonald's employee who absolutely is

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blooming and and shining and beautiful at her workplace.

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Because she knows she's preparing food for people. And

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she knows that the money she's making she can use to help her

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mom who is sick at home and it makes her feel empowered and

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makes her feel important and belonging to society. So those

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were just two small examples, but I know you know what I'm

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trying to say They hear sometimes we look at people and

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we're just wondering, Hey, how like what is driving them? Why

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are they so like in such a good mood? And why do they do such

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good work? It is because they live and work in alignment with

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their purpose and their values. And it is only then that we can

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be sustainably successful, and being content and happy. And

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then being content and happy, as I said at the beginning, we can

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we be way better partners and parents, and daughters and sons,

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and whatever role we are playing. I hope this makes sense

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to you. So the most important thing is to find out why you are

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doing what you're doing. And it really doesn't matter what your

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motivation is. It has to be in alignment with your values, it

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is most likely serving others it is never harming others. And it

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is not an easy to copy explanation. You know, some

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people say yeah, because I just love money, and I want to make

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money. I don't believe people who just have a simple answer to

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such a complex question. It is a complex question, when you look

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at it on a deeper level, and today, I want to share with you

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what is driving me so intensely to do what I'm doing. And I hope

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this will inspire you. I hope you will get to know me on a

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deeper level. And maybe we can connect over this on Facebook

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and you just share with me what you learned or what you disagree

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with, or what your why is. So I'm not going to make this a

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super long story. But I'm going to wrap a couple decades into a

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couple of sentences for you to not waste unnecessary, valuable

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time but for you to know me on a deeper level and finding out

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what my why is. So it is 10 to 15 years ago I was still a

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physiotherapist and I really loved my job I poured my heart

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into it. I really enjoyed seeing people getting healthier feeling

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better in their body than when they first came to me. But

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slowly and surely I worked myself into a burn out a very

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intense one. emotionally and mentally I was a total rap

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wreck. And at the same time, the guy that I was dating the guy

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that I imagined building a life with my sweetheart from primary

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school actually broke up with me. And the way he broke up with

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me it was so crazy Shetty we were entertaining, let's say a

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long distance relationship. And from one day to the other. He

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didn't reply to my messages anymore. Yep. So yeah, I burn

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out. And heartbreak in combination is certainly not a

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recipe for success. And additionally, I'm not a person

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who really likes to share pain Yeah, to some degree but back

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then I was so much in pain because

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it was so intense on so many levels. You know, I was in pain

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at work. I felt that I was less and less effective. I was less

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and less. Yeah, good at my job because I burned myself out. And

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then my heartbreak made it really hard for me to function

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and to get up in the morning and to Yeah, believe and love. And

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to to know that yeah, this is temporary. It is painful and it

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is going to go away. I couldn't see the light. I couldn't see

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anything, any anchor anything I could lean on. There were no

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books. There were no YouTube videos. There were no podcasts,

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and no one in my friends circle who could really understand and

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relate Due to my pain because I chose to not 100% Share and that

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was, in retrospect, a big mistake. But yeah, I cannot undo

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it right. So my boss at the time recommended that I was in need

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of seeing a therapist up psychotherapist. Without big

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resistance I agreed. And I went to a couple sessions and reached

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the point where she really made me feel that I am too stubborn

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to feel better. Heartbreak is part of life, and I should get

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the fuck over it. And I should focus on my job more. And maybe

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what I have not mentioned is that she closely worked together

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with my boss. So my boss was, yeah, very kind and suggesting

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that therapist to me. But all he wanted is for me to Yes, feel

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better, but also to come back and do the work that I left

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behind. And that pressure and that weird negativity from that

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therapist just made me Yeah, repel. I felt like a total

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failure. I felt like, yeah, the biggest wreck that there is, and

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nothing that this therapist said, could help me now don't

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get me wrong, there's awesome therapists out there. And she

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was probably one of them. But it was just not a good match. And I

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choose to not go to any more appointments. And then I got

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physically sick because my emotional pain and my mental

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pain was really taking a toll on my body now. So it just got

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worse and worse and worse and worse. Long story short, it took

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me 10 years, you know, to first engaged in my shitty soothing

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habits again, you know, excessively doing sport totally

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was gone from my friends and family binge watching movies.

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Not really taking good care of myself. So I wasted so to say 10

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years, not really addressing my pain and kind of navigating

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through life in a half acid way. And then I ended up immigrating

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to Canada, thinking that all my pain, everything I can leave

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behind and start a new life. Well, surprise, surprise, this

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is not how it goes. All your pain catches up with you one

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day. And it is then that I realized, okay, if I want to

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make this move to Canada worthwhile, I need to work on

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myself, I have to get rid of my baggage and address it first and

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then let it go. But there is no way around it. Fuck. I thought I

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can just emigrate to another country, go through the very

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painful and long immigration process and then be fine. No,

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that was not the case. I brought all my shed over here to North

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America, and then had to look at it. First panic attacks. And

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then yeah, I started addressing it because the panic attacks

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were really influencing my life in a very, very negative way

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that I couldn't move freely anymore. So I started my journey

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with with a coach and he just tremendously helped me to undo

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undid my, my stuff that I was successfully suppressing. And he

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gave me tools, he recommended books to me. He again, suggested

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ways of approaching my problems. And then he let me go for a

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couple of weeks. And then I tried the tools and was really

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feeling I was getting somewhere. I was digging up my past looking

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at it and making peace with it and able to move on. And all the

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tools that I learned during that time and I'm still learning

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right I'm still not 100% there. I was so amazed by how simple it

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is. But we just have to start believing in ourselves again. We

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don't have to Yeah, walk around and just think that oh, I'm the

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biggest wreck and nobody can help me because I'm so damaged.

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No you're not you're probably not as damaged as I was back

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then. And this is not To make your problems, less important,

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but it is to emphasize that we have to have the balls to

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address it. And we have to stop thinking that we can live around

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our problems, we have to address them once and for all and then

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move on and start creating new drama and mistakes. No, that's

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just a little joke. You make better decisions, once you faced

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your, your stuff, and you moved on, trust me, the last thing you

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want to do is to go back and make those weird decisions

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again. So you find closure with stuff that you didn't think you

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could find closure with. And, yeah, and learning all these

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tools, I now thought of people who might be in the same

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situation that I was 10 years ago, and how helpless I felt and

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there was no anchor, there was nothing out there I could hold

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myself on to not to become dependent on but to have some

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kind of guidance and hope. So I want to be that person for

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people, I want to be that person who can give you hope and

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inspiration and those tools that make life so much easier. And

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that is my why the pain that I suffered back then. And the well

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being that I feel now is how I want people to feel in the

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future, who are still suffering now. I believe that people go

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through pain through suffering, and learn from it, to then

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support others, and to then provide shortcuts. Yeah, because

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that's evolution, how else can we evolve as human species, if

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we keep those healing tools and techniques to ourselves, we have

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to share it with others. And you pick and choose whatever is good

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for you. Of course, I'm just going to, yeah, connect with

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you. Like, I wish somebody had connected with me back then. And

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I'm gonna give you everything that I thought I needed back

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then. And in doing so, I feel I'm in service of humanity, I'm

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able to heal my trauma further, because as I said, I'm not

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completely healed, I'm not perfect. But we grow together.

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And if I was to hold back, my tools, my healing abilities, I

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would feel very selfish. And as if I had no purpose. So when the

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alarm clock rings in the morning, this is what I have, in

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the back of my mind. I think of a girl, I think of a guy who's

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deeply heartbroken, who just lost everything. And I want to

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be there and say, Hey, it is okay, where you're at. It is

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shitty. And we can go we can walk through this together, you

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will reach out to me whatever is good for you. And then we find

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out what best healing methods are available for you. And,

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yeah, that is my why, in a nutshell.

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It is that that urgency that I feel that I want to be the glue.

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You know, we have the therapists, we have the

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counselors, and sometimes we feel not quite ready. Sometimes

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we feel fear, or sometimes we think it's not necessary. And I

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can be the one in between telling you, hey, at this point,

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it'd be awesome to see a counselor because they have even

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better tools to heal the past. I'm here to support you in the

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present moment and make you really strong for the future.

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And maybe you stick to me, or maybe you go and see a

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psychotherapist and they can help you on deeper levels and we

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can find somebody who's really, yeah, suiting you, but to be out

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there and to if it's just one person. Give them the hope the

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guidance, the inspiration that life goes on when you lose

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everything. And you can rebuild yourself and find a better way

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of living a stronger way to connect with yourself and your

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environment. Thank you so much for listening to my little

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Episode here as always burning to hear your feedback on what

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your thoughts are and feelings. If you have any requests when it

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comes to episodes never hold back, you can contact me on

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Aurora Eggert on Facebook. And if you are curious about a

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coaching session and how that would look like for you, you

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just book a 60 minute initial call for free and we can see

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what what we can address and how I can help you. All right. Make

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sure to subscribe to my little podcast here that I pour my

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heart and to twice a week. And feel free to leave a review on

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Apple podcast. Thank you so much