Ep. 32 How to gain confidence in yourself [self-empowerment]

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Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora, life coach, mental

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health advocate. And I'm very happy to be spending some time

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with you today. I hope you're doing well. And if you're not

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doing well, I hope I can bring you lightness and love

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empowerment, whatever needs

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to Yeah, make you feel

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a little more. Okay. I know sometimes we feel really dark

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and there's no cheering up, no empowerment, no light and

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goodness that we want to allow anywhere close to us, we just

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need someone to sit with us in silence. And to kind of Yeah,

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weigh that out later.

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It is a really weird notion in our society that it is not okay

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to be depressed, it is not okay to be sad at times, unless it is

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really catastrophic news. And I think that is wrong. We need to

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be able to feel all our emotions. And to sit with them

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is very painful at times. But it is necessary to sometimes

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process it and getting through it instead of distracting

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yourself right away.

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Today, I want to talk about something a little different

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though, I want to talk about your resistance, your little

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anxieties and fears that you might have when it comes to

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certain hobbies activities.

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What I've experienced is that I grew up with a French mom and

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grandmother and they're both excellent chefs and bakers.

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And I was always very intimate, intimidated by their

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by their work. They're nearly approached it as a job and as

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very perfectionistic closely to say

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they learned how to

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speak the language of love through gifting amazing food to

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people and baking excellent cakes. And

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yeah, I started out very young. When when I realized, Oh, I'm

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not good at cooking. I don't like baking.

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I like it. But yeah, I don't do it too often, because I'm not

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good at it anyways.

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And it is these beliefs, these conclusions that we sometimes

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make about ourselves way back in our life, in our youth in our

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childhood. And we still cling to them today. And we're not even

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realizing it, we have resistance to

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I don't know, it is so different that I can't even start to to

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count them all down. But it might be very simple, small

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things that you have huge resistance to that another

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person might never be able to understand and and for you to

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explain it would be hard to because it is so ingrained in

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your identity.

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But today I want to talk about how important it is to sometimes

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revisit these resistances and those things that we Yeah, want

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to avoid at all cost and push out of our lives because

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sometimes that's where the key lies. And what do I mean by that

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sometimes when we face those resistances when we are brave

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enough to revisit the pain, the little bit of discomfort and

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anxiety. We have a breakthrough experience and that can

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translate or transmit into other areas in life too. We begin to

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heal and an area that we couple of weeks back thought we could

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never heal in ourselves and now we gain new confidence and it is

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an incredible breakthrough that you can experience when you

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Choose to face some of your resistances. Now going back to

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my little story here, I decided to bake today.

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And for me baking is a thing that I was Yeah, always avoiding

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always not wanting to do, because I thought I was not good

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enough. And I realize how silly it is only because I have

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grown up with two French ladies that are excellent chefs, I

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shouldn't belittle myself so much, I should just try it out

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again. And maybe I'm a pretty kick ass chef as well, on my own

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terms. So I did some baking, and I just decided to have fun with

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myself and enjoy myself. And it was really

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a great experience. I burned my cake a little bit at the end.

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But who cares, it still smells delicious. And I'm waiting for

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my boyfriend to come home to try it. And I know he will give me

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honest feedback.

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The biggest kick I had for lunch now is to cut a piece for my

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grandma and to carry it over to her house.

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And her reaction was like, Well, that's nice, but I'm not going

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to try it now I have to eat lunch first. And then I'll give

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you my feedback. And there was my anxiety again, now as I Gosh,

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shit, she's gonna judge me, she's gonna say something that

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is going to trigger me. And then for the next 10 years, I'm not

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gonna bake again. But that was just my little devil insecure

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part talking. And I know that today I'm more resilient to her

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harsh feedback. And what I've noticed, as well as sometimes,

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she doesn't give me honest feedback, because she's a little

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jealous. She's 89 years old, and I'm trying new things. And she's

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trying her old things and succeeding, like extremely good.

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But now when I come and try something new, even though she

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likes it, she would not admit that I did an excellent job. And

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this is something that I have to cut through, I have to cut

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through wanting that approval from my grandmother, I have to

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cut through my insecurities and keep trying, getting better, and

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not putting myself in that victim position anymore.

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So I want to challenge you this week, I wanna make you think

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about this a little bit. Think about what are the things that

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you are holding back from where do you belittle yourself? Where

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do you look down on yourself? What is it that you're trying to

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avoid at all cost? What hobby is it that you? Yeah, once were so

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passionately engaged, and then something happened and you

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dropped it and you never want anything to do with it anymore?

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How can you make peace with it? I think and, and facing it

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again. And sometimes it doesn't mean that you have to go back to

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that sport that you once did, but to make peace with it. And

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to know that, yeah, you are very capable. You had your shitty

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experiences. You made the conclusions about yourself, but

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revisit these conclusions and know that if she were shitty at

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math, when you were six years old, you might be a brilliant

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mathematician.

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I don't know how to say that in English, but I know you know

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what I mean. Nowadays, you are in a different environment, you

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have a different approach to learning. Your body is

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different, your brain is different. Give yourself a

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chance for God's sakes. When it comes to things that you think

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you're not going to be good at. Try them anyways. And the girls

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feeling that

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just wanting to fail wanting to receive rejection or wanting to

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you know, consciously make a mistake sometimes that is so

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important and you can learn so much about yourself and gain new

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confidence.

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All right, that was it for today. Short and sweet. I would

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love to hear your feedback. I would love to hear your thoughts

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and maybe you even want to share with me what it is for you. That

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you are resisting so much. Don't be shy because here I am.

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I'm sharing my little story about baking and you might think

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it's super silly but yeah, that's just my little thing that

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I'm trying to conquer.

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All right, take really good care of yourself. If you are in need

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of a coaching session, you know who to reach out to a few one.

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Request an episode topic, never hold back. And, yeah, that is it

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for today and sending my love out to you. And I'll be out

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there very soon.