Ep. 29 Sex vs Love. The love starved society we live in Interview w/ Adrian Moy

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Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora, and I'm very happy to

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have Adrian Moy with me today. He's been on my show for several

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times now.

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Yeah, it's just incredible energy, awesome feedback after

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we publish our episodes, and lots of wisdom that Adrian has

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to share that is very valuable, in my opinion. Today, we're

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going to talk about sex versus love, and how maybe we

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experienced love and sexuality in our past, and why we feel

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there is a need to talk about this right now. Welcome to the

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show. Asian, I'm so happy to connect with you here with your

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beautiful energy.

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Yeah, I hope you've been well. And thank you so, so much for

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making the time to be to be with us today.

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Thank you. Thank you, Aurora. It's wonderful to be here again.

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Our pleasure.

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And yes, our topic today is sex versus love.

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But also, love and sex. And the topic is been very sought after,

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since we mentioned it in some of our other podcasts. And many of

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the people that have been tuning in, that are in my circle are

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very excited to hear this. And I think that excitement comes from

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the standpoint of love. Everybody wants love. Everybody

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wants more love in their life.

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From the heart of all hearts, any person on this planet wants

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love. And I think it's very important for us to distinguish

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why we're having this topic today, the difference between

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sex and love. And when I first brought it up to you, I think

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the expression that I said was, sex is not love.

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And when you just say that phrase, when I've said that

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phrase to other people, their ears perk up, they're very

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interested in that sex is not love.

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You can experience love through sex. But it is very important to

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distinguish the two because what happens is in the realm of

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sexuality, it can limit love.

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And so love is our main focus. Love is something that I believe

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is ever so most important in this day and age now more than

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ever, we see everything that happened in the world was COVID

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and people having to social distance and not touch each

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other and quarantine themselves. It made it very clear how

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separated we can be from each other.

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And, and separation, just in the physicality standpoint

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was a very big window into Okay, where else? Where else are we

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separated? We're separated emotionally, intellectually,

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societally

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from each other. And when you when you have that big

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separation, a very obvious separation, especially with

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COVID You know, many people have experienced this this great

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loud,

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was the word I want to use a very great loud clarity on how

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little love they have in their life. So some people like you

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and I and others in the world had noticed, okay, this thing

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showed me how separated I am from my fellow human beings. But

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then even for myself, like, Alright, now that I realize how

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much more I want to connect with people, what type of a

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connection do I want? Well, I want a love connection.

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I think even before COVID started, people wanted love

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connections. There are songs about love. There are ballads

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about love, there are poems and plays and dramas and books, and

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movies and TV shows all revolved around love. There are greeting

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cards. Love is a very beautiful thing. Love is something that

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everybody wants. And a lot of times people can misconstrue

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sex, for love.

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So that's what we're talking about today. Like people want to

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have love in their life and sex. A lot of the times get brought

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in gets brought into the picture of like, okay if I want to have

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love, especially when it comes to an adult

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and

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When it comes to affection with another adult, sex can get in

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the way of love. And so we wanted to find that difference.

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And it is very important because love in its purest state is its

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own concentrated energy form.

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And sex is a different thing from just the core energy,

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vibration, the core understanding of love.

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I'm going to say a little phrase here. And if people aren't

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experienced or knowledgeable in geometry, they can Google this,

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and I would recommend them to google it to give them a visual

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aid. But I like to say it like this, when you look at sex and

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love. It's like a square and a rhombus. A square can be a

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rhombus. But a rhombus can't be a square. So without going too

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much into detail, people who don't know that visual aid,

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Google it square versus rhombus, you'll get the image. Same thing

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with sex and love. Sex can lead to love sex can express love,

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but sex is not love, love is bigger than that.

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So first, let's just start with what is sex.

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Sex is something that it's a physical expression

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that you share with someone. Now, let's say outside of a

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committed relationship, you want to express your greatest

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expression, you want to express out to someone how much you

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appreciate that person, how much you are gonna use the word love

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that person, how much you want to experience with that person.

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So emotionally, you will love them, you will have an

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intellectual connection with them. And then now you want to

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share intimacy and affection on a physical level. You can love

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your child, you can love your grandma, you can love your

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brothers and sisters, your mothers and your fathers. And

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that's all pure love. Well, when you want to open up yourself on

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a physical sexual level, that's an entirely different aspect of

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love. That is a world where for the most part is used for

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procreation, sure, plain and simple, we're going to procreate

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and create a new life form. But if you look into what that does,

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I like to take it very magically. And look at a very

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energetically what you're doing when you're having sex with

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another person is you're opening a portal. It's like a ceremony

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that doesn't require

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certain symbols or candles or things. It's a birthright. It's

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a ceremony that opens up a portal to bring another soul and

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other spirit and other consciousness onto this earth

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plane.

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And so that act of sex is a very sacred ritualistic ceremony that

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literally opens up a portal to a gateway to bring another human

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life form onto this planet onto this dimensional plane. When you

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think about the concept of that opening up a portal and doing

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the ceremony is a great feeling. It's a really good feeling. It's

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a yummy, it's full of ecstasy, and eroticism and passion

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because you're performing something of great

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substantiation, you're brewing, you're doing a ceremony that's

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bringing another life form onto the planet. So there's big

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energy there. And it's not only just on an emotional level, it's

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on a very physical level. So that, to me is why sex feels so

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good. Because you're doing like the highest of high ceremonies,

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that doesn't require tools or extra stuff. It's just your

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natural birthright as a living being to perform in this thing.

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So it feels really good. Well, people love really good

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feelings. People love good feelings for their body, you go

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and get a massage. You eat food that tastes great in your mouth,

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like strawberries, or cake or coffee, whatever it is, and you

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have that sensation on your tastebuds. And as your digestion

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and the warmth in your stomach that feels good. So you're going

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to want to continue to do those things. So that's the same with

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sex, you have this really great, yummy experience with someone

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you want to have that you want to do that again and again and

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again and again and discover how you can make it greater and

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better. Sex initially is for procreation, but comes with all

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this great effect from it. So it is very sacred. It is very

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energetic, it is very connected. You get very connected with

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people. So like I said, you can love people in your life. But

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you're not going to have sex with your son, or your grandma

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or your neighbor. You're going to have sex with somebody that

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you're going to open up fullest to on an emotional and a

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physical level. So in the realm of sex, what people do is they

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start putting the idea of love into sex. Now sex is this

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conduit to have this gateway to this love. Now what happens is

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People are looking at sex as that's where my love code is.

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And the reason that we're bringing this up is, like I

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said, Because sex can lead to low sex can originate from low.

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But love is bigger than sex. So sex is not low. Love is there

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all the while. And what happens is, if I wanted to love another

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person, like another adult,

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and I wanted to actually experience the true love

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connection that is available between us, a lot of the times

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people think, well, in order for us to do that we have to be

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partners, like if I'm going to love you, fully, and 100%,

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doesn't sex have to come with it? Well, no, it doesn't. So I

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will, here's an example, if I see a lady, and we become

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friends, and I get very intimate with her, and intimacy, to me,

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isn't sexuality. Intimacy, to me is getting very deep, and very

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connected with someone that can shy people away, because the

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thought in their mind that I see time and time again is, wait a

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minute, we're crossing a line of just mere friendship, and an

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acquaintance ship, we're going into the realm of like depth and

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intimacy and getting to know each other, and getting very

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open and sharing the deep crevices of our emotions and our

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experiences in life. Well, I can't do that with you. I have a

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boyfriend, or a husband. And then they'll stop that love

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cold, they'll stop that availability, it's like, you

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open this tunnel, and they like chop the tunnel off, because,

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wait, I'm only supposed to be able to share this type of

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intimacy with my lover.

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And they stop love from coming in because they get sex in the

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way of love.

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And then the same thing even more, say another example. Let's

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say I meet a woman, and she is not with a man. And she doesn't

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have a partnership that keeps her from opening herself up. If

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she's not sexually attracted to me.

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She'll also say, wait a minute, I can't get this intimate and

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deep and connected with you because I'm waiting for my

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prince charming. And I have to reserve all of this love

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attention that I have. For the someone that I know is coming

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that I'm going to hand select that meets this criteria, then

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I'll open up my heart and share love with that person. Again,

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that's where sexuality gets in the way of love. And why people

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do that. Why people make sex love, is because for some reason

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our society has taught us that that true genuine love has to be

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shared with the one and people are looking for the one. And I

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think that oneness comes from

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the idea where when you are in a partnership with someone when

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you're in a committed relationship, married, you have

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a lover in your life that can get possessive

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that can get controlling. And so your love partner will have this

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maybe unspoken.

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And unspoken,

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expectation of you're going to get your love from me, this love

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this pure love that we have, it's going to come from me. And

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that's also going to come in our conversation in our company in

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our sex and the time that we spend together. And that is

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singular, just to us. If either one of them in their

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relationship starts getting some love from somewhere else in

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their life, then their partner can become jealous. And they'll

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say, Wait a minute. No, you can't go get love from neighbor,

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Bob. You're supposed to get it from me, Jeremy because I'm your

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love partner. It has to come from me. And then Susie's, like,

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wait a minute, I love you, Jeremy. But I can still get love

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from neighbor, Bob. That doesn't mean I'm going to have a marital

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affair are gonna cheat on you sexually. But that's the way

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Jeremy may

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experience that situation he would, he wants to be her source

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for love. And his idea of source for love is he thinks that she's

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gonna go cheat on neighbor, Bob because she's getting love.

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Or she's gonna cheat with neighbor because now she's

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getting love. And then again, sex spills into the concept of

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love. But they're not the same thing. So partnerships are a big

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reason and history of where love gets cut off from us. Why we

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think that if you are experiencing love and intimacy

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in a very deep connected level with another person, that it

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leads into the realm of sex. And so now, affection

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and intimacy have been kind of cast out from our society, as a

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as a humanity as a culture, because that's where the whole

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sex thing gets drawn.

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Where

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In a perfect example, story that you told me a little child was

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at some public area. And he hurt himself and this lady ran up

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just to coddle him just to be affectionate to this poor little

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child who just got hurt. And without even thinking, she just

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kind of hugged him, and his head rested on her chest. Now the mom

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comes screaming across the park, get your breasts off my son's

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face, she turned that the mom turned it into some sexual

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encounter, as if the woman who was cuddling the child had some

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sexual intention with this little child. And that's just

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one little example of how sex gets in the way of love.

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Love is so available for us all the time, in so many connected

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ways, through conversation, and relationship, yet, we all steer

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away from love, because love gets people very intimate. It

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gets people very connected. And the very first thing that people

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do is they think sex is involved with it. Yeah, but it's not. I

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think we are so like, our society is so love starved.

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There was ever something comes up that reminds us of love. We

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feel triggered now. And we're like, Oh, my God, it's right

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there. Someone else is getting it, but not me, or I'm getting

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it. But I want to feel in control of it. Or it makes me

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feel awkward, because now all of a sudden, I'm vulnerable again.

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And this is why I believe it is so important to talk about it

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now. Because like you said, COVID made it even more obvious

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and more intense. And now once COVID is going to wrap up and

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everything is going to come to a new normal. Let's do it

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differently than we did before. Especially here in North

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America. Where it's physical touch is even. Yeah, very

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frowned upon. It's taboo. Yeah. And coming from Europe.

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I can see it clear as day and I see people being depressed, I

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see people. But I cannot explain how it developed in in Europe

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differently than here like I know, we talked about it on the

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first show, I think

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it is so tough to to explain this. Why on this other

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continent, physical touch is handled very differently and

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only be behind closed doors. And

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what do you think?

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Let's say COVID is over like that whole. quarantining

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lockdown is over in a couple of weeks. What would you?

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What would you love to see? Because we can practice already,

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we can practice already in lockdown, to be more

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affectionate with ourselves, and then to see affection towards

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other people differently? What would be your ideal and what

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would be your ideas on how we could shift society gently into

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that direction?

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Well, first I'd like to say what, what I would like to see.

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What I would like to see is people being more affectionate

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with each other affection that comes with compassion, kindness,

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consideration,

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all the virtues that I talked about all the time, forgiveness,

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patience, you open yourself up with such great admiration and

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appreciation for the people that are in the world that we live

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in. And love follows suit. So think about the love that you

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have for your lover, or your child, or your grandmother. It

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is what I like to talk about is unconditional love, love without

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condition. You don't conditional eyes, somebody with your love to

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conditional eyes, someone with your love, which happens all the

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time is to say I will love you. If I will love you. If if you do

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this or you act this way or you fit my vibrational code, then I

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will love you. If you fall out of that vibrational code, I may

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or may not want to love you.

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If you're not this thing that I want, I may or may not love you,

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but when you look at a child or a pet, or Grandma, you love them

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unconditionally. You just love them, you know that sometimes

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they're going to challenge you, but in the back of your mind and

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after the challenge happens. The very next thought is what I love

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Have them. I love them. And that's accepting people for who

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they are. And accepting people for who they are, is being

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compassionate, is being considerate. It's being kind.

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And it's just appreciating them and what they are. Because if

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you wipe everyone off the planet, and you're the only one

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there, you learn how to love yourself and you learn how to

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appreciate your existence. Now, you speckled with this, 8

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billion different flavors and varieties of people. Can you

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love all those different types of people as well, you don't

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have to love them with a hang up and say, well, that person, I

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would love them. But since they're like that, I can't love

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them. It's like, Well, I'm sure you still can love them, no

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matter how they are. That doesn't mean you need to hang

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out with each other, and have conversations that turn into

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arguments, you know, so loving, seeing people to be more

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intimate and affectionate and kind to each other, to me would

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be a great start to our society opening up love from each other.

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And, and along with that, too, like you said, what happens

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throughout all of our what has happened throughout all of our

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history is that new love is now triggered with fear and

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harassment, and predatorial, sexualization and soliciting

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lust soliciting sexuality, the way it's done with men and

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women, like throwing yourself up on stage and doing some bird

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dance to get people sexually involved with you. Because you

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want attention. Because you want to be told you're pretty,

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because you want to be seen, because you want love, because

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you want to feel heard and seen and listened to. And you want

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people to send back to you that yes, you are beautiful. Yes, you

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are heard. Yes, you matter. Yes, I love you in this world. I love

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that you exist. And that's that that goes back to feeling loved,

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feeling loved. And so how to do that. Let's just start with

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relationships in a relationship, marriage 50 year marriage

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partnership, open relationship, polyamorous or just single

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people dancing around looking for love. And although maybe

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right or wrong places. When you get into a partnership, can you

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have a relationship where you're not controlled or possessed by

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your partner, or you can still go out into the world and love

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anyone you want without the conditional conditional isation

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of your partner being jealous or controlling about what you do

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and who you share your time and attention with that, right there

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is free and low. And I've seen it both men and women, I gave

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you a couple of examples of how women were afraid to be intimate

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and share love with me, because they had a boyfriend or a

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partner or husband. But it goes both ways. There are men

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story that I've heard, I don't know them. But a friend told me

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there was a man who was so conditioned by his wife, that he

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actually will not talk to women. If they are a female, he will

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not make eye contact with them. If they approach him and talk to

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him, he will keep the conversation as short as

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possible, because his wife has shamed him into thinking that if

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you are communicating or connecting with a female gender,

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it is a betrayal to our relationship. So this man and

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he's been married for 30 Something plus years, has now

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cut off communication with 50% of the population due to the

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insecurity of his wife.

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That's pretty severe. And that's not uncommon.

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It can be that drastic. It can also be subtle. You know, like,

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your girlfriend's gonna go out with a bunch of her friends. And

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then she's at a party, and she meets some guys and she comes

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home and she tells her lover about this really cool guy that

Unknown: 00:23:50

she met, he's instantly jealous. He instantly ruin her story for

Unknown: 00:23:54

her. He instantly now has her questioning if what she did was

Unknown: 00:23:58

okay to create a connection with another male. And so in the

Unknown: 00:24:03

relationships, that's where love can get stolen because of that

Unknown: 00:24:06

possessiveness, because people think when you're in a loving

Unknown: 00:24:10

relationship, when you're having sex with a person, that now

Unknown: 00:24:14

means that you are conditional eyes to me. Now. Now that

Unknown: 00:24:18

belongs to me. Now what you have is mine. We shared specs

Unknown: 00:24:22

together. Now you're mine, and I'm yours. And now we get to

Unknown: 00:24:25

dictate to each other, what we're going to be well, you can

Unknown: 00:24:30

have a partnership, a sexual partnership with someone that

Unknown: 00:24:34

should not stop you from being able to share love and intimacy

Unknown: 00:24:37

with other people. That does not need to

Unknown: 00:24:41

challenge the relationship that you have with your lover. But

Unknown: 00:24:45

when you have insecure lovers, those insecurities are going to

Unknown: 00:24:48

start drying either spoken or unspoken boundaries. So the

Unknown: 00:24:51

lovers really have to get in tune with their own security.

Unknown: 00:24:54

They have to be really solidly grounded and know my lover can

Unknown: 00:24:59

go and

Unknown: 00:25:00

and dance and sing and play and talk with whomever she wants. I

Unknown: 00:25:04

don't need that to interrupt my security in our relationship.

Unknown: 00:25:08

But it does happen. People do let that interfere with their

Unknown: 00:25:12

love connection. And then they're like, Well, you know

Unknown: 00:25:13

what, honey, when you went out with those people, and they were

Unknown: 00:25:16

of opposite sex, a different gender, that made me feel

Unknown: 00:25:19

challenged. So I would like it if you would not connect with

Unknown: 00:25:22

them. Because that challenges me, well, that's that person's

Unknown: 00:25:26

insecurity. And then if they do that to their partner, and then

Unknown: 00:25:29

their partner agrees to that, they're now cutting love out of

Unknown: 00:25:32

their relationship, out of their access to have love and intimacy

Unknown: 00:25:37

and connection with other human beings just because they're

Unknown: 00:25:40

having sex with this one person. That's why sex can limit love

Unknown: 00:25:45

and love needs to be distinguished separately from

Unknown: 00:25:48

sex, you can have a monogamous sexual partner, or you can have

Unknown: 00:25:52

a polyamorous sexual group of people that you're involved

Unknown: 00:25:55

with. Again, love is on a different realm. Love is its own

Unknown: 00:26:00

thing. And love needs to be considered and looked at and

Unknown: 00:26:04

talk this about, in your lifestyle, as that, get really

Unknown: 00:26:10

clear with yourself what love means to you, and then go out

Unknown: 00:26:13

and find it, and get it. But cultivate it within yourself. So

Unknown: 00:26:17

you're very clear on what you're doing. So if you're going to go

Unknown: 00:26:20

out and, and open up love from yourself to other people,

Unknown: 00:26:25

whoever you engage with, and whatever new encounters you

Unknown: 00:26:29

have, make it very clear to them. I am not here for sex, I

Unknown: 00:26:33

am here for love. And then let that be the foundation of the

Unknown: 00:26:36

relationship. And then you can get really intimate and deep and

Unknown: 00:26:40

very connected and very affectionate and very

Unknown: 00:26:45

intimate. I said that twice with someone when you made it very

Unknown: 00:26:48

clear that you're not there for six. So now, what does that look

Unknown: 00:26:53

like? Well, I've had that experience. I've had that

Unknown: 00:26:57

experience. Just recently, any of my Facebook followers know

Unknown: 00:27:00

this, I went on a road trip with myself, no family, no friends,

Unknown: 00:27:05

just me. And there are people that I had met through Facebook

Unknown: 00:27:09

because I'm looking to find really spiritual, wholesome,

Unknown: 00:27:12

grounded, self expansive, enlightening individuals through

Unknown: 00:27:16

this social media network. And I did, and two of them were women.

Unknown: 00:27:22

And they felt the connection just through the social media,

Unknown: 00:27:26

and then just through our messaging interactions. And so

Unknown: 00:27:29

when I told them, I was going to be traveling, and I was going to

Unknown: 00:27:31

come through their neighborhoods, I said, I would

Unknown: 00:27:32

love to come and connect with you. Now these women are single,

Unknown: 00:27:37

and they were very happy to receive. So I was like, this is

Unknown: 00:27:40

really happening. This is awesome. You know what I was

Unknown: 00:27:42

like, a little, not nervous, but I wanted to be very delicate

Unknown: 00:27:47

with it. Like don't scare the butterfly. All right. You want

Unknown: 00:27:51

to experience love. You want experience love with someone. So

Unknown: 00:27:56

be really gentle with it, be very delicate with it and be

Unknown: 00:27:59

very intentional, and sacred and clear on what you're thinking

Unknown: 00:28:03

and doing. So these women invited me into their homes. And

Unknown: 00:28:06

ultimately, I'm a strange man. But the connection that we

Unknown: 00:28:09

create a transcendent Facebook and the messenger texting apps,

Unknown: 00:28:13

and they just felt that connection of like, yes, Adrian

Unknown: 00:28:15

is safe, Adrienne is good. I can relax and know that he is safe

Unknown: 00:28:19

and trust Him. And so they allowed this experience to

Unknown: 00:28:22

happen. They brought me into their homes, they fed me. And

Unknown: 00:28:25

then we got to share love, and intimacy. And that had nothing

Unknown: 00:28:30

to do with sexuality. There was no erogenous zones, there was no

Unknown: 00:28:35

advances of like yummy romantic, like, whoo, I want to get into

Unknown: 00:28:41

you. None of that we kept it on a very deep, affectionate,

Unknown: 00:28:47

nurturing level, like you would with a child like you would with

Unknown: 00:28:50

grandma. And we set the stage for that. And the love that we

Unknown: 00:28:54

shared was so pure and majestic. And we did cuddle, and we held

Unknown: 00:28:59

each other. And we just kind of like, hummed and breathed. And

Unknown: 00:29:04

it was really nurturing. And it was so affectionate. And it was

Unknown: 00:29:07

so natural. And it was so amazing to have that experience

Unknown: 00:29:11

with women that were single. And we even said when we got to each

Unknown: 00:29:15

other like just to make it clear. We're not here to have

Unknown: 00:29:19

sex. And we're like, yes, that is correct. We're not here to

Unknown: 00:29:21

have sex. And so we got to share true pure love. So it is

Unknown: 00:29:24

available. I experienced it. And then when we parted ways, we

Unknown: 00:29:29

felt so dreamy, so yummy. And we were texting back and forth.

Unknown: 00:29:34

Like I've been smiling for the past three hours since you left.

Unknown: 00:29:39

Because we were like lovers. We were like lovers we connected so

Unknown: 00:29:43

vast and so pure and so deep and so intimate, but we kept sex out

Unknown: 00:29:49

of it and that's where true love lives. Now I want to really

Unknown: 00:29:54

quick tap back into the actual committed relationship couples.

Unknown: 00:29:58

When you think about a couple

Unknown: 00:30:01

they if they live together, or even if they don't live

Unknown: 00:30:04

together, but their boyfriend, girlfriend, they're committed,

Unknown: 00:30:05

and they're monogamous. And they're like, in that

Unknown: 00:30:08

relationship, that container of that partnership, you have 24

Unknown: 00:30:11

hours in a day.

Unknown: 00:30:13

If you sleep eight hours of a day, that means you have 16,

Unknown: 00:30:17

waking hours in your 16, waking hours, you're going to use the

Unknown: 00:30:20

bathroom, cook food, do some errands, clean your house, do

Unknown: 00:30:24

some chores, go to work, do whatever. So you have certain

Unknown: 00:30:26

pockets of time where you're going to interact with your

Unknown: 00:30:28

partner. When you're interacting with your partner on a daily

Unknown: 00:30:31

basis, on a weekly basis, sometimes you will, and

Unknown: 00:30:35

sometimes you won't have sex. But the true connection of that

Unknown: 00:30:39

partnership is in the interaction that you have with

Unknown: 00:30:42

each other outside of the sexual time. That's where you love the

Unknown: 00:30:49

person. When you show your affection and your care, you do

Unknown: 00:30:52

little gestures, like you hold the door, or you pull up the

Unknown: 00:30:55

chair, or you fill up their cup of water, or you cook their

Unknown: 00:30:58

favorite food, or you rub their back and you ask them how their

Unknown: 00:31:01

day went. That's what true love looks like in a partnership.

Unknown: 00:31:06

That true love can also be available without that

Unknown: 00:31:10

partnership of Do we agree to have sex with each other? Yeah,

Unknown: 00:31:13

okay, well, then if we agree to have sex with each other, then

Unknown: 00:31:15

we have to have all these other things. You don't. You don't

Unknown: 00:31:19

have to have all those other things just because you're

Unknown: 00:31:21

having sex with someone. So if you take sex out of the

Unknown: 00:31:24

equation, what are you left with? You're left was the love

Unknown: 00:31:27

part, the affectionate part, the intimacy part. Now, let's go to

Unknown: 00:31:32

the place where you're not in a committed partnership container.

Unknown: 00:31:36

Neighbor, Bob, can you have love for neighbor? Bob? Can you be

Unknown: 00:31:39

intimate with neighbor Bob? Yes, you can. His neighbor Bob ready

Unknown: 00:31:43

to be intimate with you? Maybe not. That might really challenge

Unknown: 00:31:48

neighbor, Bob. If you get intimate with neighbor, Bob, he

Unknown: 00:31:51

might want to go sexual with it. So then you got to be like,

Unknown: 00:31:54

okay, hold on neighbor, Bob. I'm not looking for sex. I'm looking

Unknown: 00:31:58

for love. I want to be love with someone, neighbor, Bob, would

Unknown: 00:32:02

you like to be loved with me and not have sex on the table? Now

Unknown: 00:32:06

you leave it up to neighbour, Bob to accept that or not?

Unknown: 00:32:08

Because I did. You know, I have noticed some people, they have

Unknown: 00:32:11

to have all. And if they can't have all, that's where they let

Unknown: 00:32:16

sex get in the way of love. And that's why sex is not love, sex

Unknown: 00:32:21

versus love. I've had women who have opened up to me and loved

Unknown: 00:32:25

me, not the two that I just mentioned that I went on my road

Unknown: 00:32:27

trip because they were We were very clear on what we were doing

Unknown: 00:32:29

with each other, but others who I have shared love with. And

Unknown: 00:32:32

then when they wanted a relationship, or they wanted to

Unknown: 00:32:35

get sexual, and I said no to that. They're like, well, then I

Unknown: 00:32:38

can't have you in my life. And then I got ghosted, because it

Unknown: 00:32:41

was hard for them to receive love, without the promise of

Unknown: 00:32:45

sex, or romance. And society has done that. Because like you

Unknown: 00:32:50

said, because of our history now, when you see love, and it's

Unknown: 00:32:54

right there in front of you, and you want it you get triggered

Unknown: 00:32:57

with all the history of what's behind it. First thing sexuality

Unknown: 00:33:01

has to be sex. So it's important to distinguish that sex is not

Unknown: 00:33:05

love.

Unknown: 00:33:07

But love is available everywhere. So much. Wow. I feel

Unknown: 00:33:14

triggered as fuck. As usually when I when I speak with you.

Unknown: 00:33:21

Because yeah, on the one side, I imagine if I was to be the

Unknown: 00:33:26

loving, like, I am the loving person that that you are and

Unknown: 00:33:32

that you just portrayed here, but especially here now where I

Unknown: 00:33:36

live in rural Alberta. I know I have to dim my light, because

Unknown: 00:33:43

triggers people. It gives people a wrong impression. And they

Unknown: 00:33:48

think sex right away. And this is why I feel triggered because

Unknown: 00:33:54

I'm like, Yeah, I know. Like everything you say is right, and

Unknown: 00:33:57

it feels so good. Yet I know I cannot live it quite yet because

Unknown: 00:34:06

maybe I don't own it enough. Or maybe I don't trust people

Unknown: 00:34:11

around me enough. This is why my conversations with you are

Unknown: 00:34:15

always so like I learned so much from you but also about myself

Unknown: 00:34:21

and where I would love to grow more. And I hope it is the same

Unknown: 00:34:27

for the listeners. Yeah, like you're not alone if you felt

Unknown: 00:34:31

triggered by Adrian, but he is really bringing out living what

Unknown: 00:34:38

we can all like we all have the potential and we just have to

Unknown: 00:34:44

allow it and feel safe with it again. And see like first of

Unknown: 00:34:52

all, be aware that love and sexuality is very fear driven,

Unknown: 00:34:57

very controlled right now and

Unknown: 00:35:00

and being aware of that is a big step already. And then to get to

Unknown: 00:35:05

where Adrian is at is,

Unknown: 00:35:09

is the end boss, so to say?

Unknown: 00:35:14

Like, I love how you put it into words, and I love how you. Yeah,

Unknown: 00:35:19

make it very clear. It resonates everything you say it resonates

Unknown: 00:35:25

with my heart. And

Unknown: 00:35:28

yeah, this is why you are here because I feel more people have

Unknown: 00:35:33

to listen to that have to feel that energy. And trust. Again, I

Unknown: 00:35:38

think it's a lot about trust.

Unknown: 00:35:41

Is there any closing words that you would like the listeners to

Unknown: 00:35:48

take into their days? We have a couple minutes left here. Okay,

Unknown: 00:35:54

yeah. So here's how I do it.

Unknown: 00:35:57

Here's how I put this into actual lifestyle. I know that I

Unknown: 00:36:01

want love. And I gave you an example of how I go out and get

Unknown: 00:36:05

it. I also know it takes it took and even still takes a lot of

Unknown: 00:36:12

self reflection. What am I driving for? What do I want, I

Unknown: 00:36:16

have to be very clear with myself what I want. Because if I

Unknown: 00:36:19

show up in a situation with a person, and I'm stumbling

Unknown: 00:36:22

through it, I'm not very clear on what road I'm traveling. And

Unknown: 00:36:26

then I can get into somebody else's world. And now we're

Unknown: 00:36:29

available for accidents to happen. So I have to be very

Unknown: 00:36:32

clear what I'm looking for. And if I don't know that, and then I

Unknown: 00:36:36

go and engage with someone, whether it's a stranger on the

Unknown: 00:36:38

street, or somebody that I want to go and have coffee with, you

Unknown: 00:36:41

know, I could turn that into a hazard. So I had to get very

Unknown: 00:36:45

clear with myself on what I wanted. So to be very clear, ask

Unknown: 00:36:49

yourself, What are you looking for, if you're looking for a

Unknown: 00:36:52

romantic partnership, then do that and have your heart set on

Unknown: 00:36:56

that and make that your focus. At the same time, you don't need

Unknown: 00:37:00

to stop yourself from receiving love from people that you're not

Unknown: 00:37:03

sexually interested in. It's still available in that world,

Unknown: 00:37:08

if you are going to open yourself up to love. And you

Unknown: 00:37:10

have on one hand, I'm looking for a romantic partnership. And

Unknown: 00:37:13

then on the other hand, I'm looking for good, nurturing,

Unknown: 00:37:17

connected, intimate relationships that are love

Unknown: 00:37:20

based heart centered consciousness.

Unknown: 00:37:23

You have to know that within yourself and then distinguish

Unknown: 00:37:27

the two. So you're not getting lost when you're engaging with

Unknown: 00:37:29

new people be very secure within yourself. So you're not looking

Unknown: 00:37:33

for someone else to draw your security from. So if that's the

Unknown: 00:37:37

thing, oh, you and I'm not looking, I'm not conditional

Unknown: 00:37:41

eyes, in my love on anybody else. Now I'm very solid and

Unknown: 00:37:44

grounded in my own sense of love my own sense of value. Now, when

Unknown: 00:37:47

I show up for someone else, I can put them in the category of

Unknown: 00:37:50

is it romantic? Or is it is it

Unknown: 00:37:55

intimate connection, deep, loving, intimate connection, and

Unknown: 00:37:59

distinguish the two, because then if I can keep myself

Unknown: 00:38:02

focused, and my intention is pure and clear, then I'm not

Unknown: 00:38:05

going to misguide the other person. And I'm not going to set

Unknown: 00:38:08

them up for a situation that's maybe unspoken, and we're not

Unknown: 00:38:11

No, no, we're assuming what the other one wants, I'm going to be

Unknown: 00:38:14

very clear right away upfront, what I feel I'm capable of with

Unknown: 00:38:18

this person. Now there is no misconstrued messages. And

Unknown: 00:38:22

that's part of the practice to be very clear and communicative.

Unknown: 00:38:25

But in order to do that, you have to get yourself right, and

Unknown: 00:38:29

you have to know what it is you are looking for. Then you need

Unknown: 00:38:32

to be very respectful for other people's boundaries. Because

Unknown: 00:38:35

just because I'm available for love, whether it's going to be

Unknown: 00:38:39

romantic, or just a nurtured friendship, a loving friendship,

Unknown: 00:38:43

that doesn't mean everyone's ready for that. And so I hold

Unknown: 00:38:46

their boundaries and my boundaries very consciously. So

Unknown: 00:38:51

when I show up, and I'm this big ball of beaming love, if they're

Unknown: 00:38:55

not ready to receive it, I just pay attention to where I see

Unknown: 00:38:58

their triggers when I see them triggered, and then I don't

Unknown: 00:39:01

shrink my light. I just honor them and say, Okay, that is

Unknown: 00:39:05

enough for you. And then I let them draw their own safety for

Unknown: 00:39:09

themselves without trying to push further like, Hey, we're

Unknown: 00:39:12

supposed to be love can be love with me be love with me, well,

Unknown: 00:39:15

if they're not ready for that, I'm not going to try to force

Unknown: 00:39:18

them into that, because then it's going to trigger them and

Unknown: 00:39:19

shrink them back. That's going to ruin their memory of that

Unknown: 00:39:22

experience. So it's kind of like an expression holding space for

Unknown: 00:39:25

people. You're holding space for someone because you're in such

Unknown: 00:39:28

an empowered place that you can make them available. And then I

Unknown: 00:39:33

can move. And I can dance with their emotional rhythm and not

Unknown: 00:39:39

overstep their boundaries where they're not even paying

Unknown: 00:39:41

attention to their own boundaries. Yeah. And that's how

Unknown: 00:39:44

I show up with love for others and not take on the

Unknown: 00:39:47

responsibility of their triggers. But just see, okay,

Unknown: 00:39:51

we've gone far enough. This is how much they can share. Now I'm

Unknown: 00:39:54

going to pull it back a little bit, or I'm just going to like,

Unknown: 00:39:56

vibrate it on a level that's more safe and secure for them

Unknown: 00:39:59

and then we

Unknown: 00:40:00

part ways are we just shift the relationship to whatever. But

Unknown: 00:40:03

then being because I'm paying attention, I will get verbal

Unknown: 00:40:07

with them. And I'll make it very clear, like, how are you

Unknown: 00:40:09

feeling? Is this okay? Would you like to move in any direction,

Unknown: 00:40:15

and that's just giving them that honor. And so when you talk

Unknown: 00:40:18

about being in a place where you, your neighborhood, where

Unknown: 00:40:23

you live, and how that's not really available for you,

Unknown: 00:40:25

because they want to go to sex, just really saying out loud,

Unknown: 00:40:29

hey, I would love to be friends. I would love to connect with you

Unknown: 00:40:32

and have a good friendship. But I'm not interested in sex. Would

Unknown: 00:40:35

you like that gives them the opportunity to say, You know

Unknown: 00:40:38

what, I would like a brand new good friend, that I can really

Unknown: 00:40:43

open up to and laugh and cry. Well, yes. Even though I'm

Unknown: 00:40:46

sexually attracted to you, if you're not there, let's not stop

Unknown: 00:40:50

the flow of love just because of that.

Unknown: 00:40:53

This is so beautiful. And and what I take away from it is the

Unknown: 00:41:00

empowerment, the clarity, the confidence with yourself. That

Unknown: 00:41:06

is work that you can do already. Yeah, even if you are in

Unknown: 00:41:12

lockdown. Even if you're, you know, in a weird situation,

Unknown: 00:41:16

right now, this is work that you can do right now, when you

Unknown: 00:41:19

switch off that podcast. And then you it will shift all your

Unknown: 00:41:24

relationships that you have already, they will basically

Unknown: 00:41:29

improve our fall off if they were not meant to be in your

Unknown: 00:41:33

life. And that is so critical to be clear with yourself. And then

Unknown: 00:41:38

with that clarity, approach another person and then respect

Unknown: 00:41:43

where they are at. Because a lot of times I see

Unknown: 00:41:48

that we believe Oh yeah, we're so loving now. We're so perfect.

Unknown: 00:41:52

So of course the other person should be ready and wanted to

Unknown: 00:41:55

and if they're not, we're going to push these weird expectations

Unknown: 00:42:00

and guilt tripping on them. No, this is not how it goes. And

Unknown: 00:42:04

then Yeah, beautiful. You said, Gosh, I think we aced this

Unknown: 00:42:09

episode. Thank you so much.

Unknown: 00:42:14

I'm happy to be able to get this message out and these lifestyles

Unknown: 00:42:17

and His ways of thinking so people can really like like I

Unknown: 00:42:21

said, it's important. Let's let love shine. And how can we do

Unknown: 00:42:25

that? And where was it hung up? And how can we further it? And

Unknown: 00:42:28

how can we be it and then live it? Yeah.

Unknown: 00:42:32

From the bottom of my heart. Thank you so much for Yeah,

Unknown: 00:42:37

being here shining, your light not holding back. And yeah, I'm

Unknown: 00:42:42

very happy to have this platform here to to have a stage for you

Unknown: 00:42:49

where we will hopefully reach many, many people and bring lots

Unknown: 00:42:53

of value to them. Thank you so much.

Unknown: 00:42:57

Thank you, Aurora.