Ep. 28 Embrace your darkness or she will slowly suffocate you [self-awareness]

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Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora. And I'm very happy to be

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spending some time with you today. I hope you're doing well.

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I hope is is easy and flowing for you at the moment. And if it

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is not, I hope I can bring some peace, value hope into your

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life. Today I want to talk about the darkness. The darkness

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inside of us. No one is just sunshine, and unicorns. We all

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have our dog days, our dog moods. dark history, stuff that

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we are ashamed of dark thoughts. Dark dreams is part of life.

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Some people call it the shadow of human nature. And some of us

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decide to be in radical denial of their darkness. And that's

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possible. But it takes a lot of effort to suppress these

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energies and to you know, play in a masquerade day in day out.

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And it is also not really authentic. So it will be harder

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for you to have really deep meaningful connections. When you

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don't show the people that you love and care what your dark

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side is all about. And the art is that you don't make them feel

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your Darkside. But that you talk about it, express yourself and

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integrate it for yourself. You kind of embrace it, you allow it

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to be there. And then it will lose in importance. At the same

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time. If you're a very ego driven, ambitious person, you

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might struggle with competition and comparing yourself. Now you

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can push that away successfully and try to run away. But it is

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not possible. And you know it too. If we start making jokes

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with our friends or loved ones, about our jealousy, or when we

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simply just tell them how we feel at times.

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Then it creates a space of trust. And again, it takes out

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the energy of that darkness

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there's lots of stuff that we sometimes don't like about

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ourselves and being active, very active on social media. I

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noticed that at times I told myself I'm not really in a good

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mood today I don't feel pretty. I don't want to do a video or

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I'm not in a in a good space. I don't want to record an episode

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today for my podcast and I don't want to say I was trying to make

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excuses because this is really how I felt. But then I realized

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that Yeah, but everything what people are going to see then is

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the Aurora that is always in a good mood and shiny and maybe

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somewhat pretty. But what about the other side? What about my

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dark side? What about my dark moods? And as good as I can I'm

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not holding back from sharing that with you. You know, the

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sole situation with COVID that is going on is pretty draining,

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it's pretty scary. It's pretty annoying at times. It is pretty

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lonely too. And I can get into really dark places of

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depression, especially during winter, winter depression is

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really a thing in my life. And I feel for this winter, I'm

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setting up myself for success. I launched my little business, and

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becoming a coach, and coaching more and more people and help

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people in distress. Not battling mental illnesses. That is for

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psychologists and counselors. But for people who feel like

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they don't want to overburden their friends and family

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anymore. They want to get real, genuine help. And reach out to

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me. And I can make them feel better, I can make them feel

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less lonely and empower them and make them feel capable, remind

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them of their dreams. And that really helps me a lot to not

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drift into my seasonal darkness. And before that, I was trying to

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distract myself, I didn't want to feel those dark feelings I

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didn't want to sit with it was trying to run away from him. Not

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with any success, because it works only for so long. And then

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you exhaust yourself, you burn yourself out literally.

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And then you compensate on the wrong in the wrong areas of your

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life. Like you withdraw more and more and feel more and more

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lonely.

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Yet what you're really craving is deep connection. And deep

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connection is what I found out is when you find people that you

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can share the stuckness with. And again, it is an art to share

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your darkness without overburden overloading the people that are

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listening, but to just speak from the heart. Again, I don't

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know your darkness. I don't know what you're carrying around.

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Maybe it is heartbreak from long ago. And you're still still

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struggling with it. Maybe it is financial distress. Maybe it is

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weird thoughts. Maybe it is thoughts of jealousy of not

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having any hope. Maybe it's anger, maybe it's aggression,

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maybe it is fear. Whatever it is, it is part of you. You

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cannot run away from it. You can dissociate from it. That but you

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can name it. Or you can share it with people that you can trust.

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So maybe over the next couple of days you can find some time

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where you just spend time with yourself. And notice when is

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that darkness coming up? When does it want my attention?

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And what does it tell me about me if I start being able to talk

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about it my goodness, there's so many groups out there on

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Facebook on Reddit on there's so many videos on YouTube, about

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the exact topic that you might be struggling with. And so often

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where you can feel understood and then maybe just let go a

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little bit more around the shame and the vulnerability that we

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feel about our darkness when it comes to intimate relationship

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when it comes to romantic relationship I realized that you

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can only hide your dark side for so long. Until you find excuses

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to push them away. Right you will push them away or your

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because I've been busy recently or oil this and that is going on

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in my neighbor's life and I want to be of support your ego will

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find such sexy and funny and real excuses to not start

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opening up to, to your partner. It's just hilarious. It's

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incredible. And all because we want to maintain that self image

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that we have of ourselves, that little bit of pride or goodness

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that we feel. And then you're in a relationship with someone for

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longer. And all of a sudden you see their darkness and you're

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like, holy shit, what have I signed up for? To even want

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this. And this is why we hide our darkness from the other

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person. To start with, right, because we don't want to feel

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rejected or be rejected. We don't want the person to look at

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us differently. We want to look shiny, we want to feel shiny, we

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want to be a good person, a good citizen. But this game is so

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exhausting. And you will see as soon as you drop your guards,

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you allow the other person to do the same. And your relationship

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will get so much deeper now, because sometimes it's really

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stuff that you don't share with anybody else, but that one

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person and it will make them feel precious, or make them want

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to be close to you. is a good thing. To show your darkness.

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Again, to not make them feel the darkness, but to talk about it.

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And when the darkness comes, comes up out of nowhere and

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maybe wants to attack people hurt people, then they will know

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then they can name it, and then they can help you, then they can

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learn to not take it personally. And you can grow out of the

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darkness more into light. If you've been following me here

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for a little while, you know that I'm more about embracing

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shit. Then suppressing it. And I've I've gone really far with

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that I'm not perfect yet. I'm certainly not perfect yet.

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Please don't get me wrong. But in learning to embrace my staff,

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and to not beat myself up on top of having a dark day and

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treating people not so nicely. I learned to let go of it more, I

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learned to be a more pleasant person to be around in the end,

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but only because I did the work. Because I was willing to talk

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about my darkness. When I talk about it, when when I know

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people are listening to me right now I feel like shit, I want to

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I want to hear from you. You know, I want to know what your

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darkness is about. Sometimes, I record my episodes, and I

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wonder, do people even really resonate what I'm saying here

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does it really do good in the world to bring value to people.

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It'd be easier to have people sitting in front of me and you

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know, I could even read their face expression, their body

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language and it would tell me if I'm on a good path. But I chose

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to do something really brave and to create something on a regular

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basis where I do not regularly know how people feel about my

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content. If you want to give me a little tap on the shoulder. If

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you want to give me a sign that I really should continue. Just

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leave me a five star review. Or write me a little review or

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connect with me on Facebook and shoot me a message there. It

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would mean so much to me. In future episodes and videos, I

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will embrace my darkness even more. Today I record a video for

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you guys on my Aurora Eggert coaching page. And the first

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picture of the video you know just before you click on that

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video, that picture was so weird. I looked so weird on

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there. And all of a sudden a panic came up and I looked up

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like how to change the thumbnail of a Facebook live video after

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it's been published. And for 10 minutes I was going crazy

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because I couldn't figure it out. And then after those 10

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minutes I just said fuck it. Yes, I look weird on that

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picture and That's okay. Because people are gonna watch that

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video and they're gonna know what it's about and get some

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value out of it. And not even care what my face looks like in

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the first second of the video. And that's okay. But see, I was

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I was part of that social media drama masquerade for a couple of

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seconds here. And then was able to drop it. And now I'm able to

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laugh about it with you, because it was so silly and so useless

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and doesn't mean anything. It is our ego that makes us think the

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solids and do these things and it is really fun to sometimes

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turn the volume down to just put it in a corner like a misbehaved

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little child. Or to laugh about it with our dirtiest Bill Boober

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laugh or Joe Rogan laugh it is possible. So for the next couple

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of days, embrace your darkness just a little bit more know that

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you're a wonderful human being you're inherently good. And all

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those behaviors, all those sorts, all those weird habits

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that you might have are things that slowly can fall off, the

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more you embrace yourself. And people are so into this. People

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are so into raw and authentic. And I find that so very, yeah,

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beautiful and inspiring and it gives me lots of hope that this

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world is spinning into the right direction right now. Thank you

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so much for listening to my little podcast here and means

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the world to me to have you here on this journey. And I would

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love to make it through this winter with you together. If

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ever you have an episode topic request. shoot me a message on

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Aurora Eggert Facebook page profile. Alright, I'm gonna

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leave you with this. And I will be out there with a new episode

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on Monday about sex and love. Sex versus love. Our love stone

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society needs to hear that episode very urgently. Alright,

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until then, bye bye