Ep.29 Being rejected is a nasty experience [self-care]

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Hello,

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and welcome to the Borealis experience.

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I'm your host,

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and I'm very happy to be spending some time with you

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today. Yeah, it is Sunday, it is icy cold again, yesterday was a

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warm day. And I was excited. And today it's very cold again. So I

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picked a topic that is also not very comfortable to talk about

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rejection, I think it's safe to say that we all have felt

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rejected at times, it is just part of life that sometimes we

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have to deal with it, we have something to offer, and people

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choose to ignore it, or walk over it or simply rejected. So

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how can we learn to be a little more resilient, some of us are

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deeply hurt. When feeling rejected, we feel rejected and

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not only rejected, but abandoned, and pushed away and

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questioned. And it goes so deep that we question our whole

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existence and being and this cannot be, we have to become

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more resilient. Now, it's easier said than done. But it is

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possible, trust me, because I've been that person. Whenever a

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friend canceled on me, I was devastated. I never showed them.

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But I would just turn off my phone and crawl into my bed and

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be so sad. Until I learned that people operate on very different

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levels, people are very different when it comes to

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perception and life experiences in general. And I'm a person who

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was drilled who was taught to always be very punctual, for

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instance, and when someone is late, I see that as disrespect.

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And as the person not wanting to connect with me and not

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respecting me. And I lived like that, for the longest time, I

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was always mad and sad without showing it to the outside world

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when somebody was late, until I realized that we're all so

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different. And we are taught very different things. So the

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person who might always be late, might be super good at finishing

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tasks. You know how some people start a task and never finish

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it. But maybe that person learned that that's important.

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punctuality is not too important. But when you start

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something, you finish it.

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So

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I don't know if that example makes sense. Give me a couple

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more minutes here to make sense of it. In case it didn't make

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sense. But I think you got me, we perceive live very

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differently. And we always have to give people the benefit of

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the doubt. If they don't like what we have to offer, then they

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maybe don't have the awareness or didn't have the tools to

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understand what we want to put out there. Have a look at my

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podcast, for instance. My family knows what I'm doing. And they

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ask questions at times. But they're not really interested

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because my content is challenging. And yeah, makes

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them look into the mirror. And it creates huge discomfort for

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them. So of course they will not totally embrace it or even

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rejected because it is not creating comfort for them. And

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some people when you create discomfort will reject you. When

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you start cutting through the bullshit. They will not want to

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hang out with you anymore because you are being

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uncomfortable with them. And that's a reality we all have to

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face when we wake up and realize that we've been sleeping for so

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long and we see people around still sleeping, and we want to

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help them wake up. But they don't want to wake up just yet.

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Everybody wants to wake up, but they want to do it at their own

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pace. And some people only do that just yeah, before dying on

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their deathbed. So, when it comes to rejection, you really

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have to be confident with what you have to offer. And you have

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to trust that the more you try, the more you go out there and

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shine your light, the more you will attract people that are

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resonating with what you have to offer, you will also encounter

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rejection, but rejection will not hurt you as much anymore,

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because you will focus more on the people who resonate with the

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content than the people who don't, you will not take it as

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personal anymore. When it comes to romantic relationships, it's

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a little bit different. Because if you get rejected, you might

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just not be a match, they might be a match for you from what you

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see. But maybe you cannot see into the inside of that person.

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And that person is rejecting you from the inside, because you're

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not a match a deep, deep match that is meant to be. So whenever

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you get rejected by a romantic partner, just know that it is

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not about you. And maybe, yes, it is about you. But it is not

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about your worth. You're not not lovable, it has nothing to do

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with that, it maybe has to do with the timing, that it is the

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wrong timing, and that the person still has to heal, in

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order to connect genuinely. Or maybe it is you who still has to

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heal. Sometimes we run around with open wounds, you know, if

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we could see the emotional wounds that we carry around, and

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people can clearly see them. And they can see that you can

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connect with them. But you are still so unaware of your own

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pain that you keep feeling rejected. Instead of sitting

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down with your pain and healing the wounds, you run around and

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want to make those connections. And people keep rejecting

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rejecting you, sorry, until you learn your lesson. So what I

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want to say here today is the next time you feel rejected or

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you are rejected, think of my little episode here and think

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about yourself, if you need more healing more time, or have

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compassion with the other person. Maybe they need healing,

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and more time. And when it comes to job interviews and other

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things, then know that

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it might not be the perfect match, maybe you still haven't

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found your soul purpose, maybe you still haven't dug out your

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potential. And the jobs you are trying to find in order to not

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be unemployed are not matching your purpose. And this is why

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you're being rejected. Not because you're dumb and useless.

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Because you are still not aware of your process of your healing

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of your capability, your ability, your value, maybe

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you're still looking for jobs that are you know, minimum wage,

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maybe the universe, or whoever you believe in the bigger force

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is forcing you to step out and to finally see your value. So

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please, next time you feel rejected. Remember this little

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episode here that I put out for you and know that you're

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incredibly lovable, and useful and necessary, and so needed out

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there. But maybe you're not aware of your wounds that still

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have to be healed. Maybe you're not fully aware of who you are

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in this world. And you have to get to know yourself better.

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This is what the Borealis experience podcast is all about.

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To connect yourself

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back to your heart and your soul. I'm sending my love out

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there. I will be out there tomorrow. Again, take good care