Ep.28 Are you living in your past and don't even know it?

Unknown: 00:00:12

Hello, no and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

Unknown: 00:00:17

your host of Aurora. And I'm so happy to be spending some time

Unknown: 00:00:20

with you today.

Unknown: 00:00:22

It is 20 degrees out there. It's so sunny and warm. I can't

Unknown: 00:00:28

believe it. I'm so happy. And I hope wherever you are, it's

Unknown: 00:00:34

sunny, you have enough sunscreen, you can maybe go to

Unknown: 00:00:38

the beach or drive to a lake and just enjoy this beautiful

Unknown: 00:00:43

weather out there.

Unknown: 00:00:45

And if it's in the evening, then just Yeah. Dream about the next

Unknown: 00:00:51

beautiful summer day. And what do you would like to do

Unknown: 00:00:55

outdoors? Today's episode is inspired by Clinton, I will have

Unknown: 00:01:05

an interview with him. Next Wednesday, I'm very excited for

Unknown: 00:01:09

that. And today we had our first phone call. And yeah, he

Unknown: 00:01:17

reminded me of the importance of being present. living in the now

Unknown: 00:01:24

instead of being influenced, tortured, haunted, by the past.

Unknown: 00:01:33

I feel I mean, at least that's how it was for me. In my 20s You

Unknown: 00:01:38

just make decisions, you make mistakes, but you kind of are in

Unknown: 00:01:47

a mode, you just get things done. You make mistakes, and

Unknown: 00:01:53

then get up again and just continue with life. In your 30

Unknown: 00:02:01

zone, or in my 30s I find myself to look back and reflect and

Unknown: 00:02:13

regret a lot of the times and also to compare my life today to

Unknown: 00:02:21

the life that I was leading a couple years back. It was not

Unknown: 00:02:25

necessarily a better life, for sure not. But some some things I

Unknown: 00:02:32

miss. And how can we manage to not fall back into old behavior,

Unknown: 00:02:41

old patterns, living with regrets missing things in our

Unknown: 00:02:50

lives that we used to have and that we don't anymore? How can

Unknown: 00:02:55

we learn to be a little more appreciative of what we have

Unknown: 00:03:00

now. And the only thing that I've learned so far, like the

Unknown: 00:03:08

biggest tool is gratitude. Gratitude. You might have heard

Unknown: 00:03:15

it many, many times. If you're interested in my podcast,

Unknown: 00:03:20

chances are that you are interested in other inspiring

Unknown: 00:03:25

people out there people who have been out there way longer than I

Unknown: 00:03:29

have been. And gratitude will never be a topic that gets out

Unknown: 00:03:37

of date. Because too often we are caught up in our daily life

Unknown: 00:03:45

or as I said at the beginning here and our past, and we are

Unknown: 00:03:50

trying to

Unknown: 00:03:52

make peace with our past. But at the same time we idolize our

Unknown: 00:04:03

past do you say that in English? Yeah, we

Unknown: 00:04:06

see only the good things. Maybe in our ex partners, and maybe in

Unknown: 00:04:12

a lifestyle that we used to live or a city we used to live in and

Unknown: 00:04:18

we chose to live it. We forget about the bad times we forget

Unknown: 00:04:23

about the stuff that was not working out well. And now in our

Unknown: 00:04:28

present situation. We are harsh and quick to judge and to have

Unknown: 00:04:34

an opinion about something because we compare it to that

Unknown: 00:04:39

wonderful, beautiful past we had. Even if it wasn't that

Unknown: 00:04:44

beautiful our brain sometimes plays tricks on us and we have

Unknown: 00:04:50

to go beyond that and see what is reality. What is right in

Unknown: 00:04:55

front of me right now and how do I feel? And what are the

Unknown: 00:04:59

changes? As I can make in order to feel better to get better. So

Unknown: 00:05:06

when it is a past lover, when it is your ex that you're missing,

Unknown: 00:05:12

again, it's oftentimes that we only see the good things and the

Unknown: 00:05:20

good character traits and maybe the intensity, the way they made

Unknown: 00:05:25

us feel. But we want to forget about the pain that was created

Unknown: 00:05:32

the disappointment. There's people out there who only see

Unknown: 00:05:38

the bad things in the past, and I feel they have it a little

Unknown: 00:05:44

nicer, I don't want to say easier, but they embrace the

Unknown: 00:05:48

present moment, more, and they're more appreciative. When

Unknown: 00:05:54

they went through hell, then people who, yeah, might have had

Unknown: 00:06:00

to say goodbye to a partner, because it was not the perfect

Unknown: 00:06:03

match, there was not a huge drama, we both just decided that

Unknown: 00:06:09

it was not the right time to be together, and we moved on. And

Unknown: 00:06:14

now you are maybe with a new partner, and you compare that

Unknown: 00:06:19

partner to your past partner, but forget how things were not

Unknown: 00:06:24

working out in the past. So all this to say is that we need to

Unknown: 00:06:32

learn to be more present with what we have around us. And that

Unknown: 00:06:37

doesn't mean going on Facebook and starting to, yeah, make

Unknown: 00:06:44

Facebook, our life or Instagram or live, we need to connect with

Unknown: 00:06:51

our immediate surroundings. So everything that is around us,

Unknown: 00:06:56

except Facebook and Instagram. I love Facebook and Instagram, I

Unknown: 00:07:01

think you know that about me. Sorry about me. But don't take

Unknown: 00:07:07

this as your immediate reality. Because you can take Facebook

Unknown: 00:07:12

and Instagram, wherever you go in your life, wherever you move,

Unknown: 00:07:16

whoever you're with, you can always take your Instagram and

Unknown: 00:07:21

Facebook with you. But the place you live in your apartment, your

Unknown: 00:07:28

little house, the neighbors you have around you. The job you

Unknown: 00:07:36

work in, the relationship you're in, you have to constantly

Unknown: 00:07:43

remind yourself that those are the things that really shape who

Unknown: 00:07:47

you are and how happy you are. And you have to be present, with

Unknown: 00:07:55

your partner, with your family, with your friends, with your

Unknown: 00:07:58

neighbors, with your living situation with your job. Because

Unknown: 00:08:03

if you're not, you're just living on our autopilot. You're

Unknown: 00:08:09

just living a routine that might feel comfortable. But it's maybe

Unknown: 00:08:16

not the perfect fit. So when we're not aware of how we live,

Unknown: 00:08:23

when we're not aware of our reality of the now that are

Unknown: 00:08:29

surrounding us, then we might miss out of very important clues

Unknown: 00:08:37

that could lead us into a new direction. You see, a lot of the

Unknown: 00:08:44

times I hear people say, I've been in a job for over 10 years

Unknown: 00:08:50

and I just can't get that promotion. And yeah, I make

Unknown: 00:08:55

enough money but my coworkers are also not really like awesome

Unknown: 00:09:02

to work with. And I just wonder you've been in that job for so

Unknown: 00:09:08

long and you don't feel the need to find a new job that makes you

Unknown: 00:09:16

feel fulfilled and excited. When you wake up in the morning.

Unknown: 00:09:20

You're excited to go to that job. Well, chances are that you

Unknown: 00:09:26

are distracting yourself so much around your job with

Unknown: 00:09:33

entertainment was sports with social media that it is not

Unknown: 00:09:39

uncomfortable enough for you to make that change. See if you

Unknown: 00:09:46

were just imagining yourself being single and having that

Unknown: 00:09:53

job. You live in an apartment where it's just you and you wake

Unknown: 00:09:59

up But in the morning, and you have to go to that job, you have

Unknown: 00:10:02

no social media to distract you. And then in the evening, you

Unknown: 00:10:05

come back home, and you maybe read a book or exercise a little

Unknown: 00:10:10

and then go to bed. And the next morning, same thing again. If

Unknown: 00:10:15

you were living in that kind of routine, you would very quickly

Unknown: 00:10:21

numb up or totally realize that this is not the job that makes

Unknown: 00:10:29

you fulfilled. On the flip side, you will very easily see and

Unknown: 00:10:38

feel when you started to work in that position, or at that

Unknown: 00:10:44

workplace that really fulfills you. And yeah, makes you feel

Unknown: 00:10:50

good about yourself and your life. You spend most of your

Unknown: 00:10:56

time in your 20s 30s and 40s and 50s, with your co workers. And

Unknown: 00:11:05

yeah, involved in your job. So you have to make a wise choice

Unknown: 00:11:09

there. And you can waste any minute and sitting in a job that

Unknown: 00:11:15

is not fulfilling you. That doesn't make you feel as if you

Unknown: 00:11:19

have a purpose in life as if you can make a change in people's

Unknown: 00:11:23

life. So I drifted off here a little bit. But I think you got

Unknown: 00:11:31

my message, it is important to be grateful for what you have.

Unknown: 00:11:38

And it is important to see if something is not going until the

Unknown: 00:11:44

right direction that you make changes. And that you train your

Unknown: 00:11:51

brain to not dive back into the past all too often. And to

Unknown: 00:11:58

compare your beautiful past seemingly seemingly, seemingly

Unknown: 00:12:04

sorry, beautiful past, with your present, you have to see how

Unknown: 00:12:11

things make you feel. And you have to put your monkey mind

Unknown: 00:12:15

into the back seat more than ever, when it comes to your

Unknown: 00:12:20

past. Because you have to trust that you made the choices you

Unknown: 00:12:25

made to become a better person, or be to fully unlock your

Unknown: 00:12:35

potential to live and your purpose and to live a fulfilled

Unknown: 00:12:41

life. So stop thinking about your past and regretting things

Unknown: 00:12:48

and know that your ex partners are well off because they will

Unknown: 00:12:53

learn at their own, like in their own rhythm. Focus on what

Unknown: 00:13:00

is in front of you right now. And embrace novelty, embrace

Unknown: 00:13:07

approaching things in a new way. See, when it comes to dating,

Unknown: 00:13:14

you were maybe in a pattern of analyzing of

Unknown: 00:13:20

making sure everything is perfect and stuff. Instead,

Unknown: 00:13:25

observe how you feel and focus how you can make the other

Unknown: 00:13:31

person feel. Stop comparing your present partner your potential

Unknown: 00:13:37

date to people that you met in the past and that you are

Unknown: 00:13:43

putting on a pedestal because they don't belong there anymore.

Unknown: 00:13:46

They belong in your past. And you can close that box and be

Unknown: 00:13:52

happy that you made those experiences. But you don't have

Unknown: 00:13:57

to repeat your experiences. You're here to evolve and grow

Unknown: 00:14:03

and make new experiences. So be open for the now be open for the

Unknown: 00:14:11

future. And be endlessly grateful for what you have.

Unknown: 00:14:17

Because if it's uncomfortable what you have right now, it will

Unknown: 00:14:21

teach you something very valuable. And if it is a

Unknown: 00:14:26

comfortable situation you're in right now. Totally indulge in it

Unknown: 00:14:31

and relish every second of it. And every night you go to bed be

Unknown: 00:14:38

grateful for it. And every morning when you get up. Be

Unknown: 00:14:42

excited for it. Thank you so much for listening to the

Unknown: 00:14:46

Borealis experience. You can join my Facebook group, or page,

Unknown: 00:14:54

the Borealis experience, or join me on Instagram the warrior

Unknown: 00:15:00

Another experience or on my profile, my personal profile,

Unknown: 00:15:05

Aurora Eggert on Facebook, reach out to me, share your

Unknown: 00:15:10

experiences with me and maybe even become a guest on this

Unknown: 00:15:16

beautiful podcast that I created here for you. Thanks for

Unknown: 00:15:20

listening. Are we out there tomorrow again, Aurora.