Episode 24
Ep. 24 Masculine Sexuality [interview w/ Moritz Kerkmann Hood]
Masculine Sexuality is a topic that we don't talk about enough!
I know there is more to it than offered by mainstream media and porn.
So i'm really excited to introduce you to Moritz today. I feel he is the best person to talk to about sexuality, intimacy and true connection.
Moritz kerkmann hood is a relationship coach with the emphasis on connecting to the embodied truth of who you are. He is like a rescue search dog who uncovers brilliance in people they have lost under the rubble of daily clutter. He gains his practice through is wife Sasha whom he leads a committed marriage with, which holds the values of authentic relating, expansion of the individual and fierce honesty around growth, desire and empowerment. He is also a father, thriving business owner and has lived in 4 different countries in his life.
connect with him here
https://www.facebook.com/moritz.kerkmann.1
enjoy and don't be shy to ask question or give feedback
with love
A.
See how It feels once you admit where you are. See how people suddenly melt and also feel permitted to be real. This is what I want you to experience.
This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:
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Transcript
Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm
Unknown:your host Aurora, and I'm very honored and excited to have
Unknown:Moovit kalkman hood with me today. I mentioned him a couple
Unknown:of times on my podcast already he is a coach, who back then
Unknown:ignited my healing, he helped me out so much. And yeah, led me on
Unknown:to a beautiful healing path. He is a men coach today, and helps
Unknown:men to connect to themselves and to
Unknown:learn how to communicate their feelings and desires better.
Unknown:He's an intimacy coach. And when you go visit more at send, he
Unknown:will make sure that your relationships are way deeper
Unknown:than they were before and and just Yeah, connect you to
Unknown:yourself.
Unknown:And this is why I'm so incredibly excited to have him
Unknown:here today. Because in a couple of episodes ago, I talked about
Unknown:how important it is for your mental health, to know about
Unknown:your own sexuality to be aware of who you truly are as a sexual
Unknown:being. And Moritz has all the words all the knowledge and
Unknown:wisdom
Unknown:that yeah, he wants to share with us today. So I'm very
Unknown:excited to to hear your thoughts more reds. Welcome to the show.
Unknown:And thank you so much for making the time.
Unknown:If you want to fill us in a little bit,
Unknown:like maybe first how you became a coach, how you became so
Unknown:interested in becoming a coach for men. When it comes to
Unknown:intimacy and sexuality, you must have felt a deep need a deep
Unknown:desire. And we would like to know more about it.
Unknown:Yeah, thank you so much. That's a beautiful introduction.
Unknown:Yeah, my my path.
Unknown:I think as we as we just said, I think you and I worked six years
Unknown:ago,
Unknown:is like Time Time flies.
Unknown:The way I got to this path was I think through I think from
Unknown:suffering, basically, through having a lot of turmoil and
Unknown:issues and trouble in my own life.
Unknown:I had
Unknown:after, after going to school, I basically traveled to Paris and
Unknown:started off on a career in, in photography. And
Unknown:I had my first burn out I think was
Unknown:23. And I
Unknown:was I was very addicted to alcohol drink about one and a
Unknown:half liters. So I want to have bottles of wine every every
Unknown:night. And yeah, and depression was something very severe in my
Unknown:life like something that was very present. And
Unknown:yeah, I think back then I didn't really know whether I was able
Unknown:to live a life that was
Unknown:happy and joyful.
Unknown:i And yeah, so it was it was kind of like just an endless
Unknown:chasing after.
Unknown:I would say excitement and good feelings through drugs and
Unknown:alcohol and those kinds of things. And
Unknown:yeah, I think a little, a little fairy whispered to me that I
Unknown:need to change something about that. I needed to change
Unknown:something about that.
Unknown:And
Unknown:I think that fairy actually had to whisper it to me in many
Unknown:different ways before I started listening.
Unknown:But that's just what it is. It's like we hearing these things
Unknown:through different channels until eventually the pain gets so big
Unknown:that we really like start to
Unknown:try something different or look at the reality that that what
Unknown:we're doing and what what we are Yeah, what we're doing with our
Unknown:lives isn't really working. And yeah, for many, many years and I
Unknown:would say it's still to this day, I'm
Unknown:I'm working on these things. And I would say that this is this is
Unknown:a path that
Unknown:is a goal less. It's a goal less path. It's an it's an endless
Unknown:path. It's a constant, working and looking at what is the truth
Unknown:for myself, not the ultimate truth, but the truth for myself.
Unknown:And
Unknown:yeah, and I would say it's like, it's a bit the path I think I
Unknown:experienced and more like an onion. It's like, we don't
Unknown:really find the truth. We just discover what actually is
Unknown:bullshit. And then you start to peel it away.
Unknown:One little bit at a time. Yeah, yeah.
Unknown:Oh, man. Yeah, thank you for being so transparent and, and
Unknown:filling us in, I feel a lot of people who are giving back
Unknown:helping out others today had to go through hell first, to
Unknown:experience it firsthand. And to know, okay, this is actually how
Unknown:it feels like, I'm not gonna learn it from a book how to help
Unknown:other people, I'm gonna learn it by having to go through it
Unknown:myself.
Unknown:How important would you say is
Unknown:your sexuality when it comes to mental health? How important it
Unknown:is? To know about it? I mean, some people live a very asexual
Unknown:life. Some people live a sexual life, but are very frustrated,
Unknown:some people are very,
Unknown:to which degree would you say Does it affect your your well
Unknown:being
Unknown:to know about your sexuality?
Unknown:Why think sexuality is such a, it's such an interesting topic,
Unknown:because
Unknown:it's like this, it's, it's like,
Unknown:it's one of these high sensation topics that just have a double
Unknown:is like a double edge in a certain way, like it can, it can
Unknown:either border into the direction of being an addiction, or it can
Unknown:be bordering into the direction of
Unknown:withholding this kind of pleasure from yourself and
Unknown:starving to death.
Unknown:Right? Like, it's like, we are this way, we are either sexually
Unknown:starved, or we are overstuffed.
Unknown:And I think that, that's, that's what makes this topic so two
Unknown:faced, like it can appear like the devil or it can appear like
Unknown:the, like an angel to you know,
Unknown:it's a it's a highly polarizing topic. And I think any topic
Unknown:that is so highly polarizing has a lot of potential to have you
Unknown:grow as a person and,
Unknown:and work your mind in what is truth for you, and what are ways
Unknown:where we are
Unknown:deluding ourselves.
Unknown:And then sec, the other thing about sexuality is like,
Unknown:there is a certain need to it.
Unknown:There is a like, I think it's a it's a fact that we can, that we
Unknown:need such sex that we need sexuality, whether we need the
Unknown:act of sex, or not, is I want to leave that to the side for a
Unknown:moment, but there is a certain reality to the fact that
Unknown:without sex, we wouldn't be here.
Unknown:Right? Like no one of us would be here without, without
Unknown:sexuality without the energy of sex without the like sex is the
Unknown:first energy that like ushers a new person into this world in
Unknown:such a way and so there is a certain necessity to it. But
Unknown:then there's also all the other aspects that are connected to
Unknown:it. And one of these is for example, I mean, it's just think
Unknown:about as a man, the hunger and the lust that you have towards a
Unknown:woman like it draws you towards the woman because life itself
Unknown:wants to reproduce itself wants to actually call on you to
Unknown:create life. Right? But then also everything that goes with
Unknown:it is like your energy as a man, your
Unknown:your, the way you walk, the way you feel confident, like all of
Unknown:these things are,
Unknown:are connected to your sexual energy.
Unknown:That makes so much sense and it's a it's a way of expressing
Unknown:yourself as well. And if you are living in denial of it if you're
Unknown:trying to suppress it, if you have like
Unknown:Bad memories, was it? And are you trying to not have it in
Unknown:your life anymore?
Unknown:You're missing out on an opportunity to express yourself.
Unknown:And it's it's very,
Unknown:right I can write well, it's it blocks, not just the actual act
Unknown:of sex, but it blocks also
Unknown:your whole energy as a person. Yeah. Yeah. And that is so
Unknown:underestimated. Like, if you look at marriage, when people
Unknown:have been married for, I don't know, 10 years, 20 years, and
Unknown:they think, yeah, it's just, it's just not that important
Unknown:anymore.
Unknown:But there's always a part of you who's like, Hmm, am I actually
Unknown:being honest to myself? Or is it important, but I'm just too
Unknown:scared to talk about it again. And like, it's, it's really,
Unknown:it's so why is it so difficult to talk about it?
Unknown:Do you think it's more difficult for men to talk about desires?
Unknown:Or is it same for women as well? Why is it so hard to express
Unknown:desire?
Unknown:I don't I don't know if it's if it's harder, or easier for men
Unknown:or a woman, I, I have nothing that I can compare it to?
Unknown:Because I don't have, I'm just the gender that I am at the
Unknown:moment. But I think that
Unknown:so there's a
Unknown:I think,
Unknown:so that, to me, sex is very connected to to desire.
Unknown:And then desire is, to me, this is a whole different subject
Unknown:that is not easy to understand. But because it's so complex, so
Unknown:complex desires, so complex, like, I
Unknown:might have a desire to have a car, right. And then like, I
Unknown:judged that as materialistic or a house, and I judge that as
Unknown:materialistic, or I have desire to,
Unknown:to kiss you or to go out for dinner, right? You can look at
Unknown:all of these things and put them into different categories as
Unknown:like, oh, that's your sexual, those are the things you want
Unknown:sexually. But
Unknown:how do you know that the car isn't actually also part of the
Unknown:same realm, the same sexual desire, whether that is in order
Unknown:to actually become the person that attracts the kind of woman
Unknown:that your DNA is looking for, or a house that will provide the
Unknown:kind of container that actually allows your partner to open up
Unknown:and have sex with you like, I mean, think of birds, like they
Unknown:first build a nest, and then they have sex, right? And I look
Unknown:at it the same way, I think that every single desire, whether
Unknown:that is my clothing, or my material desires,
Unknown:or a desire for nourishing my body with a particular kind of
Unknown:food, right? It all goes back to that
Unknown:to that initial cell that like, thrives to grow. Yeah.
Unknown:Right. And so if I have judgment in any of these areas,
Unknown:it it blocks me from creating what I, what I am, what I'm here
Unknown:to create, right, what I what I desire to create the life that I
Unknown:want.
Unknown:And I think there is a there's a, there's a holistic connection
Unknown:between all of those things, and there's a certain
Unknown:there's a certain order also in these things.
Unknown:And if you start to like look at these as like, it's just a
Unknown:certain kind of like form of energy that wants to come out
Unknown:through your, you can start to be less in the way of it.
Unknown:And the being less in the way of it is what actual vulnerability
Unknown:is about.
Unknown:Yes. And then expressing it and allowing it to come up and to
Unknown:judge it.
Unknown:Exactly. Yeah. It's one thing to learn to not judge us judge and
Unknown:yourself anymore. And another to be scared of other people's
Unknown:judgement once you express it and to have that confidence to
Unknown:know that yes, this is what I desire, and I'm going to
Unknown:communicate it and I don't give a fuck if it pisses off people
Unknown:or not. I'm just gonna
Unknown:Stand up for it is it's such a courageous act as well. Not just
Unknown:vulnerable, but also very courageous. Right? And liberal.
Unknown:Totally liberated super deliberating. Yeah. Yeah, I
Unknown:totally.
Unknown:Now, what you described earlier with building a nest that
Unknown:Forward, forward movement, it felt like you were describing
Unknown:masculine energy there.
Unknown:To come to my next question, what do you think? Are we as a
Unknown:society getting wrong about masculine sexuality? Or what is
Unknown:it you feel? We urgently have to learn?
Unknown:If we want to be intimate with a men, when it comes to sexuality,
Unknown:is there with your clients? Do you see like a red line? And do
Unknown:you see a pattern of things that could go better? And
Unknown:relationships?
Unknown:Yeah, yes.
Unknown:So first of all, like the example that I that I said
Unknown:before, like the example of like building a nest, I also want to
Unknown:get rid of it again. No, because I don't believe actually, that
Unknown:there's one particular
Unknown:direction like that everybody should get like that sexuality
Unknown:is just in service to having children, right? Yes, I don't
Unknown:actually believe. I think I think our sexual energy is just,
Unknown:it's just creating is its desire to create certain things, its
Unknown:desire to create this reality. Having kids is just one aspect
Unknown:of it. Yes. And
Unknown:so.
Unknown:The reason why it's so courageous is because we do
Unknown:conceptualize these things. And then we say, let's say the Bible
Unknown:says men and women should only come together and non
Unknown:homosexuals, for example, right? Like there's a certain
Unknown:conditioning, like an idea. Why is that? I mean, like, my
Unknown:neighbor builds a house, right? And then like, he tries to
Unknown:protect it. And only if that his neighbors to build in the same
Unknown:way, right, is his thing safe. If someone builds something that
Unknown:they don't understand, it becomes a threat. So that's kind
Unknown:of like this kind of, like,
Unknown:we build something and then we have an inbuilt protection
Unknown:mechanism. And that protection mechanism,
Unknown:is also the thing that conditions us into, everybody
Unknown:should do the same thing. Because that's ultimately what
Unknown:is safe.
Unknown:And that is why it's so courageous to really listen to
Unknown:your true desire, rather than to the conditioned version of
Unknown:desire, because you've conditioned version of desire
Unknown:will say, Build it exactly the same way your neighbors and your
Unknown:family and your mother and father have done it. Yes.
Unknown:So it's liberating to
Unknown:go within yourself to one particular place. And that is
Unknown:the place where you start to listen to what is really true
Unknown:for yourself. And it takes a lot of work to figure out what is
Unknown:just the
Unknown:what is my authentic voice inside me, and what is just this
Unknown:never ending mantra that is been handed down to me.
Unknown:Right, and then learning the different to differentiate.
Unknown:And when you when you start to be in tune with your authentic
Unknown:desire, it is very non rational.
Unknown:It isn't following a pattern. It is saying, I want this, I don't
Unknown:know why. But I want this and tomorrow, you want something
Unknown:else. And after maybe a few days or weeks, all of a sudden you
Unknown:look back and be like, Oh, now I see how that makes sense.
Unknown:But you kind of have to just like follow along and trust that
Unknown:like, there is a certain kind of like electric current. And
Unknown:that's actually how I identify it's like the truth is electric.
Unknown:And it's uncomfortable. And it's this kind of like, I want this
Unknown:what I don't dare to say
Unknown:and if you follow that you get to create something that is
Unknown:unique.
Unknown:And
Unknown:so here's a bit when it comes to men
Unknown:Whether it's men or women
Unknown:I think men are more likely to
Unknown:be
Unknown:rebellious or to go after what they hunger for.
Unknown:And women,
Unknown:I think women are starting to break out of that.
Unknown:And I think we are starting to live in a time where like women
Unknown:get to be like not women get to be important. Women are taking a
Unknown:stronger stance for what they really want.
Unknown:Right? And you kind of have to do that.
Unknown:So
Unknown:So thing when you ask the question
Unknown:what do men want?
Unknown:In bed? I think for you as a woman, that's a dangerous
Unknown:question.
Unknown:Because in that moment, you fall into the conditioning to please
Unknown:the man
Unknown:hmm.
Unknown:And you in that moment, you lose the attention on what you
Unknown:actually want.
Unknown:So this is very new to me, and I'll have to ask
Unknown:my focus then, should stay on myself on my desire on what I am
Unknown:receiving from the man and not worrying at all about what he
Unknown:wants, because he's going to follow his desire anyways. Did I
Unknown:understand that right?
Unknown:I don't know whether he does or doesn't like it might be or
Unknown:might not be i i actually personally I value both I value
Unknown:a man who really follows what he wants. And as a mole to like,
Unknown:the things that he doesn't want.
Unknown:But I also value a man who actually feels right with
Unknown:himself feels good inside himself, and who is capable to
Unknown:have his attention on
Unknown:on the electric current that a woman actually has. Oh,
Unknown:see, and that is something that you don't learn with porn you
Unknown:don't hear about
Unknown:in television or Hollywood I feel
Unknown:Do you see that movies
Unknown:usually portray like a very one sided picture of a man or
Unknown:because I'm learning right now that there's like many, many
Unknown:different ways of approaching sexuality and that men have both
Unknown:like two sides as well if not more
Unknown:from what I've learned about sex I would say it was very one
Unknown:sided and not diverse at all. And I'm learning so much with
Unknown:you right now.
Unknown:What is it you feel women could could take away from this and
Unknown:men as well?
Unknown:When it comes to intimacy,
Unknown:something that you feel mainstream media is not
Unknown:seeing nothing about Yeah.
Unknown:Do you know that moment when you when you let's say like you have
Unknown:sex with someone, and then
Unknown:you get to that point where you feel sensation on your genitals
Unknown:and then what we do is, oh, there's sensation.
Unknown:Let's let's get Wilder.
Unknown:Right because we want to, we want to, we want to, like we
Unknown:want to build that sensation up towards
Unknown:the goal, which is the climax. Yeah.
Unknown:What I invite everyone to do is when you feel that first like
Unknown:this is always the thing like everybody does that like you you
Unknown:connect and sex and you're looking for that first moment
Unknown:where you feel sensation.
Unknown:And then once you find that you speed up because you are look
Unknown:into get to the climax, right the or what mainstream calls
Unknown:orgasm, I don't call it orgasm, I call the climax, which is just
Unknown:the peak experience where you have ejaculation where you have
Unknown:this big explosive sensation, right? So you get to the first
Unknown:moment you like your genitals connect, and after a while of
Unknown:fucking you find that moment where you feel something.
Unknown:And instead of speeding up,
Unknown:slow down
Unknown:and you will notice that, instead of rushing to the
Unknown:climax, what you start establishing is,
Unknown:it's like,
Unknown:it's like rubbing a balloon against your head. And then you
Unknown:try to make a little, and then you pull it a little bit of way,
Unknown:and you can feel a static current in between the balloon
Unknown:and your head. Have you ever done that as a child? Of course,
Unknown:yeah.
Unknown:So instead of like, smashing it and rubbing it harder, which
Unknown:would kill the electric current, actually, that may pop the blue,
Unknown:you actually just see whether you like how far can you draw
Unknown:this thing away, without losing
Unknown:the feeling of the electric current.
Unknown:Then you see if you can ride this, how long can you hold this
Unknown:connection
Unknown:then what you will, what you will take from this is
Unknown:that you can hold this to the point of walking away from each
Unknown:other,
Unknown:you can hold this to the point where your partner is blocks or
Unknown:miles away and you still feel there, you still feel a
Unknown:connection from your body to their body.
Unknown:And everything in your life starts to become respective
Unknown:respective of keeping that electric current inside your
Unknown:body alive, keeping that connection inside your body
Unknown:alive.
Unknown:And that will that will set your whole life right
Unknown:because you will start to notice what takes you away from this
Unknown:connection and what keeps you inside of this connection. Yeah,
Unknown:and that will basically it will revive your body it will bring
Unknown:electricity and live into into places of depression
Unknown:or into emptiness or into loneliness it will just start to
Unknown:fill you up
Unknown:man this is so beautiful not only to listen to you, but also
Unknown:to see you like you You talk like an artist like a magician.
Unknown:And it all totally resonates with with my soul
Unknown:incredible how you just described that and I am sure our
Unknown:listeners were able to follow as well even though they could not
Unknown:see you. What I love most is that you talk about the goal
Unknown:setting and being goal less. Right just what Brad was your
Unknown:healing that you are goal less when it comes to your healing.
Unknown:And with sex, it can be very similar that you don't rush to
Unknown:some destination, but that you are present in the moment and
Unknown:allow
Unknown:things to happen. Like magic can only happen then when we're not
Unknown:focused on a goal is that like do I understand that right?
Unknown:Yeah, yeah, I mean if you have if you have a goal in mind what
Unknown:the the like, here's the thing is like this might sound like
Unknown:very
Unknown:like
Unknown:spiritual by actually it's it's actually not at all it's very
Unknown:simple.
Unknown:It's this that if you
Unknown:if you sit on your if you have a goal in mind, you cannot
Unknown:actually feel what you like, what is presently happening. If
Unknown:you say I want to feel joy, or I want to feel excited.
Unknown:But you are not right now right? You're like aiming to feel this
Unknown:particular way. Yeah. So now I asked you, so, okay, you want to
Unknown:feel this way, but how do you feel right now? Yeah. And then
Unknown:most people? I don't know. Yeah, that's the problem is because
Unknown:because of the goal, you cannot be present. Because you want to
Unknown:feel a certain way you cannot be connected to how you actually
Unknown:feel right now. Yeah. And so the the issue there is, you're not
Unknown:really having sex, it's like, because your whole attention is
Unknown:right now attached to being in this particular place that you
Unknown:missed the whole show.
Unknown:And that's when all these issues come up with like,
Unknown:feeling a lack of meaning in your life feeling like nothing
Unknown:really sent satiate or satisfies you. This because you're not
Unknown:really there. Because of the goal, though. Hmm.
Unknown:That makes total sense. Now, we're getting we're getting
Unknown:closer to an end here. But what I would like to ask you last is
Unknown:now desire and goal, like if we are aiming towards something,
Unknown:let's say if not to say goal,
Unknown:like how would you reward goal setting then,
Unknown:because there is benefits to it, it can help you to be
Unknown:consistent, it can help you to be disciplined. But I totally
Unknown:get your point of, of missing the whole point. If you are too
Unknown:far,
Unknown:like focusing too far into the future, but how would we reward
Unknown:that
Unknown:instead of using boards,
Unknown:you don't have to deny yourself, the you have a goal in mind you
Unknown:this is a different angle on the head, like
Unknown:you know, a meditator who's like now becomes a becomes a breath.
Unknown:Like, focus, every focus goes on the breath and nothing else is
Unknown:true. Like, that's also not, that's also not reality, like
Unknown:you do have, we do have goals, we do Crais have cravings, we do
Unknown:have desires to like they are all
Unknown:sort of aimed into a certain
Unknown:direction.
Unknown:But it is the
Unknown:like wanting to get there and forgetting that the present
Unknown:moment is actually what's really happening. Hmm, that's a
Unknown:problem. But being also just in this moment, and denying that we
Unknown:are headed into any direction, that's just as much of a
Unknown:delusion.
Unknown:Like, have you when you speak to like meditators, you often get
Unknown:the feel that they sort of lying to themselves.
Unknown:Like really rigid meditators.
Unknown:And it's, that's true, it's like, you don't disconnect from
Unknown:your desires. You don't disconnect from the goal. It's
Unknown:just like, alright, I noticed that there's something that I
Unknown:want. And then also, like, I'm really fully connected to what
Unknown:I'm what I'm actually dealing with right now.
Unknown:And when you can hold your attention on both, that's when
Unknown:that's when you start to become agile, and it's fun, and you can
Unknown:move and facilitate things and you can play right and, and
Unknown:that's why like I like because I think you asked about
Unknown:male sexuality and like in pornography, I don't regard
Unknown:pornography as something bad.
Unknown:Neither Hollywood, right? Like, there are depictions of, like,
Unknown:ideal state ideal things like
Unknown:Right, like, they are a depiction of climax happening.
Unknown:Every time you have sex. There's a like, intense climax or the
Unknown:woman always intensely opens up and lets demand do whatever they
Unknown:fucking want. Right? Or in Hollywood. Like it's always a
Unknown:happy ending, right? Like,
Unknown:just look at it for what it is. It's a it's an idealized version
Unknown:of something, but it's not the full truth. Yes. That's
Unknown:important if you Yeah, if you go into it, like I know that porn,
Unknown:for example, has shown me certain games that are possible
Unknown:to play
Unknown:If you have consent, if you know how to do it, right, if you have
Unknown:a play partner who is actually open to these kinds of things
Unknown:and wants to explore in that way, then like, wonderful, you
Unknown:have learned something there. Mm hmm. But yeah, I totally
Unknown:understand what you mean about the playfulness and creativity.
Unknown:I don't want to say but I want to say and, and
Unknown:to keep a healthy distance to know that yeah, this is
Unknown:Disneyland Disney World. And this is not always reality. It
Unknown:is inspiring. It is fun. It is sometimes disgusting.
Unknown:But that doesn't have to be the norm. And to know that this is
Unknown:not what women expect. This is not what all men expect. But
Unknown:it's kind of fun to explore. I totally agree. I totally agree.
Unknown:Wow, actually, I know a lot of
Unknown:I know a lot of people
Unknown:that do expect, and women do expect. And it's actually, that
Unknown:if you go into more sex positive communities, you you find people
Unknown:that are very, in approval with their expectations. There's a
Unknown:very common thing in sex positive communities, where
Unknown:couples looking for a bull. Right? That's like, heist, a
Unknown:high stamina kind of like, man who can just
Unknown:like to be a machine, right.
Unknown:And it's the thing the thing here is
Unknown:and I think that's like, I think that's like a it's like a theme
Unknown:also is there's a there's a large group of people that are
Unknown:against porn, that hate porn. And
Unknown:and I'm not defending porn, I really don't care. I don't care
Unknown:if someone hates it. I don't care if someone disagrees with
Unknown:me, that's totally fine with me. But I am coming from a place
Unknown:where I say, I look at this
Unknown:more internally. And I say, Why do I hate it? What in me hates
Unknown:it, there is a certain upset, right the same way. And I just
Unknown:turn this a little bit around, because I don't like to talk at
Unknown:women for their hate against porn. But let's say I speak
Unknown:about men hating women for not giving them what they want,
Unknown:right? That's the, that's the flip side of the coin. It's
Unknown:like, well, so me hating those women, right? Like, who don't
Unknown:want to give or whatever, like, so what inside me is that hate?
Unknown:Right? It's like, it's like, it's like the upset that I don't
Unknown:get what I want.
Unknown:It's my little inner five year old who's throwing a tantrum
Unknown:that I'm not getting the the, the treat that I wanted, or the
Unknown:red ball seen in the window, right? It's like, there's a
Unknown:certain reality to this, I can actually be with myself in those
Unknown:spots and learn that in order to have something that I want, like
Unknown:the red ball and in the shiny red ball and the window, or the
Unknown:sexy woman in the red dress, God knows what it is you want. But
Unknown:you seem to not be able to have it. Instead of resenting that
Unknown:thing. I can look at myself and be like, well, so what in me
Unknown:prevents me from having a relationship with that thing?
Unknown:What in me is it that like, gets so upset that I cannot have it?
Unknown:There is a certain reality to like, oh, they want me to be
Unknown:shining, or they want me to be looking a certain way. Okay. Do
Unknown:I want to play that game?
Unknown:Is this much worse to me, right? Like, if I want to have a
Unknown:Ferrari like, like, I don't want to
Unknown:care about a sorority, but like if I would want to, I have to
Unknown:ask myself seriously the question, Am I willing to step
Unknown:into the kind of games that would get me that Ferrari, but
Unknown:then get fucking right with it rather than get resentful at the
Unknown:world for not handing you everything on a golden platter?
Unknown:Mm hmm. I love that. It's a very mature way of looking at it. I
Unknown:like it.
Unknown:And I think when it comes to the hate of porn than the
Unknown:superficial illness, I think often it points to an upset that
Unknown:someone hasn't given you the kind of attention that you were
Unknown:looking for. So you hate the superficial because some part of
Unknown:you didn't get seen, didn't get cared for didn't get met.
Unknown:In a more vulnerable way, so you have to hate the superficial,
Unknown:because you think that's all that is available?
Unknown:I think that's so interesting in general, like, ask yourself, Why
Unknown:do you hate certain things? Why are you in resistance to certain
Unknown:things, not only porn, that's a big and great example. But but
Unknown:all things, there's always a story behind. That is
Unknown:interesting to, to hear, and those that wants to say, Hi.
Unknown:This is so good.
Unknown:What would you like? Is there something we want to conclude?
Unknown:Is there something that you want to add?
Unknown:After everything we've addressed today?
Unknown:Something that you want to Yeah, give to my listeners. And right
Unknown:after, we want to know how, how people can reach out to you and
Unknown:where you post your beautiful posts, and yeah, how people can
Unknown:reach you. But before that, is there anything you would like to
Unknown:add? When it comes to masculine sexuality?
Unknown:Intimacy? Yeah, yeah.
Unknown:I think the,
Unknown:I mean, like, this is not necessarily the,
Unknown:the only path that leads you to
Unknown:getting into a deeper connection with yourself, but that's what
Unknown:it is about, it's like, getting into, like, into more intimacy
Unknown:with yourself. And, and
Unknown:I think any kind of intensely polarizing topic, whether that's
Unknown:sexuality, or whether that is depression, or art, or
Unknown:I mean, relationships, like all of these things, they are, they
Unknown:all are a path,
Unknown:to have a deeper relationship with yourself and all the
Unknown:feelings that you have towards them. They, they can all be
Unknown:potential to get to know to yourself, and I think that is
Unknown:what is making these things so interesting and so meaningful,
Unknown:really like. And I just encourage anyone who has a
Unknown:some kind of like, emotional topic going on that they regard
Unknown:this topic as something that can actually be a gift and a gate to
Unknown:more depth to yourself. Yes, yes, I totally agree. And I'm so
Unknown:incredibly happy that we were able to record this episode
Unknown:together, because I knew you were going to be the best person
Unknown:to talk about
Unknown:these very important things and things that are part of
Unknown:everybody, but it's just difficult to Yeah, understand
Unknown:them at times to talk about them and to make sense. So I'm, I'm
Unknown:deeply, deeply grateful for, for you being here. Would you like
Unknown:to share with us
Unknown:where people can reach out to you and where people are? Read
Unknown:your posts? That would be lovely. Yeah.
Unknown:I think at the moment, I'm most active, actually, just on
Unknown:Facebook, and my name, there's Moritz, Mo, R, it is Zed.
Unknown:Kirkman, K, RK, Ma. And then hood, page, O Li.
Unknown:I also am active on Instagram.
Unknown:Yeah, and the way people can work with me is I have two
Unknown:membership groups. One I lead with my wife. It's called the
Unknown:building honest relationships group where we work with couples
Unknown:and help them really build authentic relationships that are
Unknown:based on personal freedom.
Unknown:And,
Unknown:and the other offer that I have for men is the School of
Unknown:intimate leadership. And yeah, it works with all the things
Unknown:that we have just talked about. And of course, I do one on one
Unknown:work, but I would say those two groups are probably the best
Unknown:entry level to get started. And yeah, anyone can just reach out
Unknown:to me on Facebook or an Instagram and write me a private
Unknown:message and I usually answer very quickly and just start a
Unknown:personal conversation. Yeah, that sounds amazing. All right.
Unknown:you wonderful people out there. Don't hold back reach out to
Unknown:Moritz. If you feel ready. If you feel in
Unknown:Need to get to know yourself better and reveal the desire.
Unknown:Yes desire.
Unknown:And you my friend, you have exceeded my expectations like
Unknown:usual every time we talked in the past in Germany.
Unknown:I always felt like ah, it says a different angle on this and I
Unknown:love how he expands people's minds and opens up people's
Unknown:hearts.
Unknown:Thank you so much. That was one