Ep.23 Consumed by your feelings and thoughts [ real life talk ]

Unknown: 00:00:12

Hello, hello and welcome to the Borealis

Unknown: 00:00:14

experience. I mean host Aurora, life coach and companion on this

Unknown: 00:00:20

beautiful journey called life. If ever you feel the need to

Unknown: 00:00:26

invest in yourself, if you feel stuck if you feel like you're

Unknown: 00:00:30

not quite reaching your goals, your dreams, your potential.

Unknown: 00:00:36

Don't hesitate and reach out to me and we'll make a plan on how

Unknown: 00:00:40

I can help you. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you so

Unknown: 00:00:44

much for being here. I deeply appreciate you listening. I

Unknown: 00:00:48

deeply appreciate connecting with you have a Facebook or

Unknown: 00:00:53

Instagram. It's just Yeah, an incredible blessing to be able

Unknown: 00:00:59

to connect with people through my podcast here. Thank you. Take

Unknown: 00:01:09

a deep breath for a moment. If you're not driving, car, or

Unknown: 00:01:15

bicycle or operating machinery, feel free to close your eyes if

Unknown: 00:01:20

it feels comfortable. And again, take a deep breath in through

Unknown: 00:01:25

your nose. And then exhale through your mouth. Well, too

Unknown: 00:01:35

often we forget to breathe. Yes, we do it unconsciously. But if

Unknown: 00:01:44

we focus a little bit more prepared, limit more attention

Unknown: 00:01:48

on how shallow or deep breath as you will notice that you're able

Unknown: 00:01:55

to hack into your nervous system influence your nervous system.

Unknown: 00:02:02

Same goes for when you don't pay attention, you can suddenly or

Unknown: 00:02:08

over time, become anxious become uncomfortable on your skin. And

Unknown: 00:02:14

you might blame the outside world for it. But maybe it was

Unknown: 00:02:18

you not paying attention enough to your physical needs. So this

Unknown: 00:02:23

is what I've experienced in the last couple of days. Your dear

Unknown: 00:02:28

followers on Facebook, have read my post and I'm so deeply

Unknown: 00:02:33

appreciative for all the love and kindness and healing vibes

Unknown: 00:02:38

that you sent my way. As I expressed myself, openly and

Unknown: 00:02:43

honestly and transparently. It was through breathing

Unknown: 00:02:48

techniques, going for a walk, eating nourishing foods, not

Unknown: 00:02:54

watching the news. And surrounding myself with good

Unknown: 00:02:59

people that I was able to balance my emotional mental

Unknown: 00:03:05

state out. It took a little bit of time, but I was not in a

Unknown: 00:03:13

rush. You know, sometimes we try to Netflix, we tried to Amazon

Unknown: 00:03:19

our feelings away. Of course the negative feelings read when

Unknown: 00:03:25

we're in a good mood when we feel light, then we're less

Unknown: 00:03:29

inclined to wanting to distract ourselves. We're more in the

Unknown: 00:03:35

moment. But it is truly an art and a balancing act. To be able

Unknown: 00:03:44

to stay in the moment when you don't feel comfortable. When you

Unknown: 00:03:49

feel consumed by your thoughts consumed by your emotions. When

Unknown: 00:03:56

you feel like you are your thoughts you are your emotions.

Unknown: 00:04:02

It is very hard to see an end, it's very hard to know that it

Unknown: 00:04:09

is just a phase it is just temporary. And it is something

Unknown: 00:04:17

that we want to get out of as quick as possible. But the quick

Unknown: 00:04:22

fix, as you can imagine, is not always a sustainable solution.

Unknown: 00:04:27

So what I'm learning right now is to communicate when I'm not

Unknown: 00:04:33

feeling 100% And there also it is important to know that I'm

Unknown: 00:04:40

not doing that to burden people or to make people help me. I'm

Unknown: 00:04:46

communicating this for them to know why I might be a little bit

Unknown: 00:04:51

more distance why I might be a little bit more quiet, but not

Unknown: 00:04:56

for others to fix me. You will see once To do that, that there

Unknown: 00:05:01

is people around you who instantly jump into rescue mode

Unknown: 00:05:05

and wanting to help you, and wanting to support you. And

Unknown: 00:05:09

that's totally okay, that's so awesome and so precious. And you

Unknown: 00:05:15

can take in the love and the healing vibes from others. But

Unknown: 00:05:21

not in a taking fashion, you accept their gift, but you know

Unknown: 00:05:28

that you are responsible for how you feel, and nobody else to

Unknown: 00:05:36

sorry, and to know that you can sit in it for a while, and you

Unknown: 00:05:43

can be down and low for a while. But you also know that it is

Unknown: 00:05:52

temporary and that you will be able to find the tools to get

Unknown: 00:05:57

yourself out of the funk. I find too often we are in resistance

Unknown: 00:06:04

of not feeling well. We hate uncertainty, we hate pain and

Unknown: 00:06:10

suffering. We hate feeling disconnected. We hate when

Unknown: 00:06:16

people are not in agreement with us. And we instantly jump into a

Unknown: 00:06:22

reactive mode resistance mode. And it is okay. You know, it

Unknown: 00:06:28

doesn't make you a bad person if you do. But what I'm learning on

Unknown: 00:06:32

my journey here, and what I want to share with you is that it's a

Unknown: 00:06:38

huge waste of energy. It is okay to be sitting in discomfort for

Unknown: 00:06:47

a little bit. And to figure things out and to find out okay,

Unknown: 00:06:50

what is it that is bugging me right now? What is it that's

Unknown: 00:06:56

still hurting me? But then instantly, to think about

Unknown: 00:07:02

solutions is sometimes not an option. Right? Sometimes people

Unknown: 00:07:09

are trying to help you and give you advice and are very busy and

Unknown: 00:07:15

yeah, trying to make you feel better. But even that can feel

Unknown: 00:07:20

abusive at times. Did you ever experienced that, when you felt

Unknown: 00:07:27

very low and tired and somebody was trying to cheer you on. And

Unknown: 00:07:32

it just didn't feel right. It didn't resonate with you. You

Unknown: 00:07:38

were resistant to that joyous vibe of another person. And

Unknown: 00:07:44

that's perfectly fine. Because you have to create that joyous

Unknown: 00:07:50

vibe, that uplifting vibe inside of you, you have to learn that.

Unknown: 00:07:56

And this is what I'm hoping to help you with, with my podcast

Unknown: 00:08:01

and with my videos on Facebook and me being active as a life

Unknown: 00:08:06

coach and personal trainer and podcaster that's my my biggest

Unknown: 00:08:14

wish to give you tools to be fully authentic with your

Unknown: 00:08:19

suffering and your pain that you might go through or will be

Unknown: 00:08:23

going through in the future because it's part of life. But

Unknown: 00:08:27

to then have the right tools in your back pocket and t know yet

Unknown: 00:08:32

that you can shovel yourself out of it

Unknown: 00:08:42

take a couple deep breaths. Now. Sometimes when we listen

Unknown: 00:08:48

attentively to something we tend to hold the breath. We tend to

Unknown: 00:08:54

go shallow tried to deepen your breath again. And I'll do the

Unknown: 00:09:00

same. What I'm also learning right now is that sometimes we

Unknown: 00:09:08

feel consumed by our emotions. I received some devastating news

Unknown: 00:09:15

from Germany. And also this I shared on Facebook. It was a

Unknown: 00:09:22

friend of my brother committing suicide and it really knocked me

Unknown: 00:09:32

off my feet. I know that my efforts my work here is not

Unknown: 00:09:38

going to prevent every person from committing suicide. I like

Unknown: 00:09:44

this is not the power I have. I'm doing my best to understand

Unknown: 00:09:48

people to listen to people to let people express themselves on

Unknown: 00:09:52

my show. But that suicide really knocked me off my feed and I was

Unknown: 00:09:58

so sad and I At the same time, I was able to keep my mission and

Unknown: 00:10:03

mind, my heart mission, to show up for you to be there, Mondays

Unknown: 00:10:10

and Thursdays, to produce something to create something

Unknown: 00:10:14

that helps you, makes you feel good gives you, strength

Unknown: 00:10:20

inspires you and makes you independent and empowered in who

Unknown: 00:10:27

you are. And it is the first time in my life, I think that it

Unknown: 00:10:34

happened this way, because I'm doing something that truly

Unknown: 00:10:37

brings me joy and the mission, my vision is stronger than

Unknown: 00:10:43

temporary, strong emotions that might lead me off my path. So

Unknown: 00:10:52

maybe you've gone through extreme pain in the past. I'm

Unknown: 00:10:59

sure when you listen to me, you can relate, I'm sure if you

Unknown: 00:11:03

listen to my podcast, that you've gone through a lot. And

Unknown: 00:11:08

you made it to the other side. And you're still here, you're

Unknown: 00:11:15

wanting to grow your breathing, you can be so incredibly proud

Unknown: 00:11:21

of yourself. And maybe next time you go through pain, you can

Unknown: 00:11:28

remember my words, and know that pain and suffering is part of

Unknown: 00:11:35

life. And it is so critical and important to find an activity

Unknown: 00:11:43

something some call it your purpose, your sole purpose. That

Unknown: 00:11:53

helps you to get up in the morning, no matter what. No

Unknown: 00:11:58

matter what's happening around you, no matter what's happening

Unknown: 00:12:02

to you. You have that strong drive to surf and engage in that

Unknown: 00:12:09

activity because it helps you on several levels. But it also

Unknown: 00:12:16

helps others. When you don't engage in that activity. You

Unknown: 00:12:21

feel like you didn't really live that day, you didn't really

Unknown: 00:12:28

connect with people or you didn't really give your best.

Unknown: 00:12:35

But when you are, even though you fail at times, you're

Unknown: 00:12:39

failing forwards. And you keep being driven with your mission.

Unknown: 00:12:47

I wish that upon every person that I meet, I wish them that

Unknown: 00:12:52

they find something that gives them true joy. And at the same

Unknown: 00:12:58

time serve as a people, no matter what, no matter what

Unknown: 00:13:03

you're going through, it is going to be an anchor for you as

Unknown: 00:13:07

well. Right, I went through some dark times here. But for me to

Unknown: 00:13:14

show up for you to produce my podcast here for you felt like a

Unknown: 00:13:19

soul calling something that I needed to do in order to make me

Unknown: 00:13:25

feel better in order to heal in order to find my true north. And

Unknown: 00:13:33

this is what can guide you through suffering and pain. This

Unknown: 00:13:38

is what's going to make you a more stable human being. Yes,

Unknown: 00:13:42

you will depend on others, you will fall in love with others

Unknown: 00:13:46

and you know, sometimes lose a piece of yourself in another

Unknown: 00:13:51

person. But you have that one activity, or maybe several

Unknown: 00:13:57

activities that anchors you down. That brings you to joy and

Unknown: 00:14:05

contentment. And it will not always be easy, you will

Unknown: 00:14:09

sometimes have to fight for it. And sometimes it will feel

Unknown: 00:14:13

draining and sometimes you will be frustrated. You know it's not

Unknown: 00:14:17

always unicorns and rainbows, even with an activity that is so

Unknown: 00:14:24

extremely nurturing for your soul. But deep down inside, you

Unknown: 00:14:29

will know this is the right path you're gonna stick to it, you're

Unknown: 00:14:33

going to commit to it fully. Just like some people fully

Unknown: 00:14:38

commit to a partner. You can fully commit to an action to a

Unknown: 00:14:44

mission and you can do both. You can commit to a partner. You can

Unknown: 00:14:50

commit to a mission and most importantly is that you commit

Unknown: 00:14:53

to yourself and that you take your feelings, your emotions,

Unknown: 00:14:57

your thoughts so theory is to some degree, but you know that

Unknown: 00:15:04

you are not your feelings, you are not your thoughts.

Unknown: 00:15:10

Especially if you are a person who watches the news and reads

Unknown: 00:15:14

the newspaper, you have to distinguish, you have to make

Unknown: 00:15:19

sure that you don't feel powerless by all this

Unknown: 00:15:25

negativity. You have to know that, yes, there's the news. And

Unknown: 00:15:30

there's this stuff happening in the outside world. But who are

Unknown: 00:15:34

you and all of this? Who do you want to be? Do you want to be a

Unknown: 00:15:40

nervous wreck? That runs from one corner to the other and

Unknown: 00:15:45

screams? Like a chicken with a head chopped off? Or do you want

Unknown: 00:15:51

to center into yourself into your mission, and keep pushing

Unknown: 00:15:56

for that mission? Because you know, it gives you a deep sense

Unknown: 00:16:01

of belonging, a deep sense of love and connection. And that is

Unknown: 00:16:06

so incredibly important. And this is what got me out of my

Unknown: 00:16:10

darkness here. Yesterday. If ever you feel like requesting an

Unknown: 00:16:18

episode, if ever you want to comment, if ever, you want to

Unknown: 00:16:22

give me feedback on this, feel free to message me. And I'll

Unknown: 00:16:27

make sure to get back to you as soon as possible. take really

Unknown: 00:16:32

good care of yourself. And if you want to send me a little

Unknown: 00:16:37

token of appreciation, there's a link in the notes called buy me

Unknown: 00:16:42

a coffee where you can buy me a coffee. All right, I leave you

Unknown: 00:16:47

with this. And I will be back out there on Thursday, talking

Unknown: 00:16:53

about masculine sexuality. What are we getting right about a

Unknown: 00:16:58

man's sexuality and what are we getting? Totally wrong? An

Unknown: 00:17:03

interview with a life coach, life coach who pretty much saved

Unknown: 00:17:10

my life six years ago. So I'm excited to introduce him to you.

Unknown: 00:17:15

All right. Bye bye.