Ep. 25 Happy people trigger you .. [relationship, society]

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Hello, hello and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora, and I'm very happy to be

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spending some time with you today. It is a strange day. It

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is a day without WhatsApp, Instagram, and Facebook. I don't

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know if everybody is being affected by this. But I'm being

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affected by it. And my people around me here in Canada, so

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yeah, very interesting to see how dependent we are on social

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media, or to see on how active we are. Right? We connect with

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most of my people through WhatsApp and Facebook. And yeah,

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today is a day of silence and reflection. Yet I thought, I'm,

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of course not going to hold back and send out an episode for you

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on this beautiful day. I hope you're doing well. I hope life

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is flowing smoothly for you in the direction that you want. And

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if it is not, if you feel stuck, if you're frustrated, if you

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feel unhappy, then I hope I can bring you peace and hope and

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resolution maybe. Today I want to talk about regrets and how we

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can move on from feeling guilt and shame and regrets. Couple of

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weeks ago, dear listener of mine mentioned that one of my videos

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really lifted him up and helped him not because he lives in a

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lot of regret and pain. The person that he dearly loves

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past, and he regrets not being there enough for that person on

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that last couple of days. And it's an incredible pain that I

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could feel from my dear listener there and I kind of wanted to

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come up with with a good episode to send out there for him but

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also for all you others because of you sometimes we all feel

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regret, something triggers us a memory comes up, a person steps

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back into our lives, or we read something we watch a movie,

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whatever it is it can trigger regrets, and how can we then

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stop ruminating so much and self punishing, and start forgiving

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ourselves moving on. And knowing that, at that time, we didn't

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know better. At that time, we did our best. We didn't wake up

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in the morning and decided to be a shitty person. We didn't

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decide to neglect we didn't decide to hurt, we didn't decide

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to do something that we will regret further down the road. So

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the first thing that I want to mention here is that we need to

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forgive ourselves we need to know that it is okay how it is

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even though it is uncomfortable as fuck. It is okay how it is

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and we're gonna do better in the present and in the future. This

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is the only part of your life that you can truly influence

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your present. And talking about the present. alumnus slightly.

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Quickly slide I mean into presence. The more presence we

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give to our daily activities to our work to the people we love,

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the less likely we will end up regretting stuff in the future.

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So if this is one thing that we learn from regret, is that maybe

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we can be a little bit more present and the future Not only

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to, like, give people more attention, to listen better to

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them, to connect better with them, but also to protect

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ourselves, the more you are present, the more you learn to

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read other people, the less missteps you're going to have,

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when you make an important decision, like a choice of your

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partner, your lover,

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your boss, your co workers, the better you know yourself better

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decision decisions you will make in the future. This is my little

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quote that I love to throw out here and there, if you know me

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already, but the more present you are with your environment,

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the more you will be able to tune into it. And the more you

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will see if it is suitable for you, or if it is not. So from

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that standpoint, you can make way better decisions for

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yourself and others that are being affected, without

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regretting as much in the future. Now, if you regret not

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being present enough with a person who has passed, then it

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is really painful place to be I understand because you cannot

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call that person bad, he cannot apologize. And you feel like

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there's no closure. But you have to permit closure, you have to

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allow yourself to find peace. You know, oftentimes, when we

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feel we feel we have to punish ourselves, maybe even for the

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rest of our lives. We don't do it consciously. But

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subconsciously, we dim our light. When we, for instance,

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hurt a loved one in the past and hasn't really forgiven ourselves

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very well be that you don't allow yourself to be open and

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fully, like vulnerable with a new person, person that has

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nothing to do with your past. And you will not allow them to

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be loving with you. Because you feel you're not deserving

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because of that one thing that you've done in the past and that

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you're not forgiving yourself. So what this means is that

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you're preventing yourself from a truly juicy life. And this can

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be a start of a intense depression. Because you lock

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yourself up from the good of life, you are dimming your

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light, because you're not forgiving yourself. You don't

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allow yourself to see the good memories you don't allow

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yourself to be forgiven by the other person and by yourself.

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And so you dim your light and you kind of walk around with

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this dim light and people don't really know who you are what you

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stand for. They treat you like they think they can treat you

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and you don't really set boundaries because you're not

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deserving of good treatment and good boundaries. Can you know

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unless the wind was getting a little bit too intense here? Can

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you see how this might apply to your life or maybe to life of a

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loved one. It is last year that I reconciled with three people

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in my life. And I could have bet my right hand that these people

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don't want to talk to me anymore. That these people if I

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contacted them they would have approached me with resentment

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and anger, sadness, frustration. And I just decided to do it

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anyways. To my huge surprise these people, all three of them,

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approached me with an attitude of forgiveness, of hatred, let's

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move on together. Let's be in each other's life again. I'm so

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grateful that I do didn't waste more time to reach out and

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contact and to see what's going on in their life.

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I'm so grateful that I am in contact again. Now think about

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all those nights that I was crying and wasting energy on

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regretting and hating myself. being mad at myself, not

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allowing myself to see that I'm a good person. Because of these

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three people, not forgiving me, and they actually had forgiven

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me. I just couldn't believe that I could be forgiven. It is your

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birthright, to live at peace, and to live a juicy life. It is

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your decision to reach out for help, to apologize to forgive

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yourself. And to then move on. Don't waste time on what has

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been an things that you can change anymore. Focus on what

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you can do better now. Life is not about not making mistakes.

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being perfect, it is not about perfection. It is about making

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mistakes, and then learning and then moving on. And then

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applying what we have learned to a similar situation that we will

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encounter in the future. be kinder to yourself, forgive

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yourself, just as much as you forgive others. It is important

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that we see you that you shine your light brightly. Because

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otherwise, you're facing depression, you're facing a

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mediocre life. And you're deserving of so much more. Thank

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you so much for listening to this episode here today. It is

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very dear to my heart to provide you with tools with shortcuts,

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to reach a more content life, and to waste less time on stuff

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that we can change anymore. And to invest time in ourselves and

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feeling good and better with ourselves. And in doing so,

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making better decisions and the future for ourselves and the

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people that we affect around us. If you're new to this podcast,

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welcome, warm welcome. I'm so happy to have you here. Make

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sure to subscribe and add me on Facebook. I'd love to hear your

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comments, your thoughts and get to know you on a deeper level.

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And if you are an old loyal listener, know how much I

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appreciate you know that you are incredible. And without you I

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wouldn't be here. So thank you so much for being there and for

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supporting me for learning with me for walking this path with

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me. I know my stuff can be very triggering and then comfortable

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at times and I just have huge respect for you. And yeah, to

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all of you take really good care of yourselves and I will be out

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there very soon again on Thursday. Until then, drink lots

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of water. Go walk in nature. Be kind to yourself. Connect deeply

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with people that do that.