Ep. 23 Sitting in the eye of the storm [self-empowerment]

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Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora, life coach and companion

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on this beautiful journey called life. I hope you feel good, I

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hope you feel loved, supported, understood. If you do not feel

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good at the moment, I hope I can bring you some light and

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understanding and comfort. I want to create a space for you

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where you can rest and recharge your batteries where you can

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reflect and simply be yourself for a moment.

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I read a beautiful quote today it said if you want to be in a

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good place, get out of your head and into the present moment. I

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read this several times and just thought to myself, Wow, that's

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that's extremely easy to say. But not easy at all to translate

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into reality at times, because what is the present moment is a

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total shitshow a storm of chaos. Pain, uncertainty, hostility,

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adversity, right. And then you tell a person just be in the

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present moment. Just breathe. Just go for a walk. Just

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exercise just cuddle your dog. Now I know all too well that

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sometimes that is not an option. Sometimes life gets so rough.

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And it just doesn't stop getting rougher. i And at night, you're

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just thankful that you have a roof over your head and you

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crawl into your bed and try to fall asleep and fetal position

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but can't really find sleep. Life is tough life is really

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unfair at times. And how can we help people? How can I help

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people to not give up and to not despair. And today I want to

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talk about how I can help people to be gentle on themselves when

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shit goes south. Because what us humans tend to do is that the

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little bit of control we have over our mind and our body.

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We're going to use we're going to use against ourselves. Right

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the little bit of influence we have I am a big proponent. So to

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say that life is a mystery. And there's nothing much we have

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control of sometimes a couple of glimpses. And sometimes we think

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and I don't even that's the wrong word. We're not conscious

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about it. But then whatever we can control and the this time

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around, it's our body ourselves. We're also going to mistreat,

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instead of imagining ourselves in the eye of a storm of the eye

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of a tornado if you want to picture that and to be there

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with ourselves and not endure the situation but trust that

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it's going to pass. Sometimes we have a study routine. Let's take

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intermittent fasting. Let's take yoga, any kind of exercise.

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Let's just take napping or even masturbation. Sometimes we have

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our little tools or little tricks that help us relax. But

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sometimes when life gets so intense, we either stop doing

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them or we start doing our exercising our little helpers in

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a way that is not that they are not doing us a service anymore.

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Right It depends How you eat. It depends how you exercise, you

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can go to the gym, or climb up a mountain with the most

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resentful, safe, hateful, or self hate attitude.

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So the how becomes critical, because I feel there's a lot of

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people out there who have very good practices, very good

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routines. But when life gets tough, sometimes we use it

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against ourselves, we think, yeah, Howard, I need that

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exercise that always makes me feel good. So I have to stick to

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my routine now. Because it's all I have. It's everything I can

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control in my life right now. But maybe you need something

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else. Maybe you need a chat with your best friend. And you need

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to open up, make your heart soft again. Maybe you need complete

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surrender. And just lay there and be real with how you feel.

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And see where you're at. Yeah, you are in the midst of a storm.

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Yeah, you feel sick? Yeah, everything overwhelms you,

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you're exhausted, you're being a jerk to your spouse, to your

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children. You have to become real with it in you can't run

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away. And you sure shouldn't use your tools that usually help

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you, against you. Right, maybe you have an awesome exercise

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routine. And you should just drop it for a day and have a

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nap. And a lot of us forget who we are right? When we are in the

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midst of a crisis we forget our needs. And if you didn't know

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who you were before the crisis. A crisis can also be a stepping

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stone to getting to know yourself better, to getting to

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know what you need to get through this phase in your life.

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So I invite you to be curious to reach out to people and to think

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of people that you admire that you look up to and see how they

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would deal with your situation. Would they approach the problem

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from the same angle? Or would it be a different angle that you

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still have resistance to consider because it's just not

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your style? Right? Sometimes we choose suffering unconsciously.

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Because first of all, we might not have been given the tools to

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navigate through this kind of storm. Or we are seeing

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ourselves in a different light. And we refuse to step out of our

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box. And to approach the situation with fresh eyes. Read

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sometimes we are like these little toy cars that you drag

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back and then you let them go. And then they fast forward. So

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to say they they run by themselves and sometimes you hit

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against the same wall over and over again. And you make your

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life so much tougher than it's necessary to be. There is a

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solution to every problem. Sometimes it just can get a

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little messy. Sometimes you got to jump into the cold water of

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uncertainty and put the situation to a halt to a

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complete stop in order to protect yourself and by

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protecting yourself. Meaning to end this war and also to protect

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the people around you that you might have started to treat like

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shit, because you were so stressed out. So by taking a

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step back and looking at how do other people deal with this kind

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of situation, can I learn from other people, can I talk to

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somebody neutral, open up about my stuff and receive advice that

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is going to benefit me?

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Can I see that I might be using the wrong tools for this job.

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And I want to have a fresh perspective on this. And you

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will find a way out. The human species is so incredibly

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resilient, you are so incredibly resilient. But I understand

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sometimes it's just too much. Sometimes we feel there is no

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way out. And I'm here to tell you that yes, there is always a

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way out, there will be some you know, compromises, there will be

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some attitude shifts. You will certainly need to surrender to

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the situation and stop resisting to it, you will have to come

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crystal clear with how you feel and communicate what you deal

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with. And if it is not to other people, to yourself, to connect

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to yourself, right to see again, the picture sitting in the eye

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of the storm of the thunder of the tornado. And to know, to

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admit that you are in crisis. Sometimes just admitting it

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alone is going to give you relief around your heart area.

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And this is such an important step to do because sometimes

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we're just paddling, we're, you know, fighting and doing and

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doing and doing and exhausting ourselves even more. And we make

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the situation worse, instead of stepping back, looking at the

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pile of shit that is sitting in front of us, and just admitting,

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hey, I'm at the end of my power here. I don't know what to do.

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And I know it's so incredibly tough to admit this to yourself,

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especially if you are a hard worker, a provider of a family.

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A person with strong work ethic, and and pride you know. But

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endearing, enduring is not going to make you stronger, it's going

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to make you weaker, and it's going to turn you into a better

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person. And in order to not turn bitter. I want you to offer that

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path of surrender. Surrender to yourself, surrender to the

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situation, open up at MIT. And help will be on its way. It can

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be your spouse, your children, it can be your friends. It can

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be a coach, it can be your parents, it can be a stranger,

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that will give you the key to a more easy life. We're all

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together in this please don't forget. And we can all support

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each other in ways that it's just hard to imagine. And my

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biggest distress, I open up to people I met along my way while

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I was traveling, and I learned to trust people again, through

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my pain. And through surrendering and open up to

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people. It was so magical because I thought I had to

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endure and do it alone. And it doesn't mean that you dump your

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problem onto another person. It just means that you speak it

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out. And there is people out there who will listen to you and

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help you out. Rock bottom is rock bottom. admit to it. And

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then start digging yourself out with the help of others. I'm

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gonna leave you with this. I'm sending you a big warm hug.

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I'm so extremely grateful to have you here. I'm extra In the

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thankful for all donations that rained into the Borealis

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sustainable. So thanks for all donations that was very generous

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and kind of you. It's a give and take here and I feel appreciate

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it. So thank you so much and I will be out there for you very