Ep.23 Frustrated, burned out, suicidal men. [trigger alert]

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Welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm your host

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Aurora, and I'm very happy to be spending some time with you

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today. This episode is, of course, not only for men, it is

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for women as well, I just title it that way. Because I feel a

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lot of the times, it is more. Yeah, for both genders that I

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speak to. And sometimes it's more for women, sometimes more

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for guys, and I just like to label it only for men. Today I

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want to talk about feeling replaced feeling cheated on. And

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comparing yourself to others. I observed in my past that guys

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who went through intense breakups escaped into intense

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physical activities to help forget, but not also not only to

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help forget, but to feel good again, because they imagined the

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new partner have their ex girlfriend to be awesomely

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wrecked, and maybe recognize that they were a little lazy

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towards the end, and not maybe focusing on their physical

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appearance as much. Now, when the breakup is through, you run

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to the gym and want to be the most ripped person ever. Maybe

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not only to make your girlfriend ex girlfriend jealous, but to

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kind of feel in power again, because a breakup when it comes

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out of nowhere, I can make you feel extremely powerless at

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times. And it's scary, and is very, very uncomfortable. But

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what can we do? If we go through those feelings of feeling

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replaced and rejected and misunderstood? What is the next

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step we can do? Of course it is getting over all this and

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finding yourself again. But then most importantly, I feel is to

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find out how you can really attract the right match for the

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next round. Because she didn't cheat on you. Because you're not

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lovable. Because you're a bad person. I'm sure she cheated on

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you, because you guys were not the perfect match to begin with.

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And it has nothing really to do with you and all to do with her

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and how she communicates and decides to act in this world.

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And you can just focus on yourself now and make sure that

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next time around, you are maybe a little more transparent, a

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little more open. And you don't have to be like become a

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workaholic, or extremist about your hobbies. But I think it is

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very important that the people out there who you will encounter

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in the future, can truly see who you are, that you create

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something for yourself and for others, where people can truly

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feel your intentions and your energy and what you are all

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about. Because as soon as we do that, people who have ill

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intentions people who are not a good match will not even be able

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to come close to you. It is only the people that will help you

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get there help you achieve your goals and supporting others. I

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lost my train of thought but only those people will be able

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to come close to you and touch your heart really. And the

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relationship that you just came out of or that you're still

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grieving was not the right relationship for you to begin

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with. Otherwise you would have worked things out and it is

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okay. Some people come and go and some People stay, and are

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meant to be in our lives. So if you feel replaced, I hope that

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you know that a motivation for a girl to pick a totally different

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type of guy than you. Most of the time has nothing to do with

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you. But with her, with her experiences, with her

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insecurities. With her daddy issues, we can call them, you

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know, with the masculine role model that she had in front of

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her when she was growing up, and not so much has to do with you,

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while my English is really shitty today. But I'm just gonna

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keep talking. And I beg you to forgive me, I'm not in a very

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crisp place today. But I really wanted to talk about this topic.

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So the most important thing is get back to who you were and who

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you are, and find something that truly inspires you, that truly

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brings you joy, and that you can be passionate about. And it

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doesn't have to be a job. And it doesn't have to be only that

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hobby now and your life taking everything over. Don't be

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extreme with it and keep your balance. But find something

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where you can excel and really be shining. And you will only

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attract people that match your vibration. I feel we all can

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feel responsible for the partner choices that we made in the

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past. And maybe if you look back, you could see that you

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were a little bit, dimming your light and maybe shy, which is

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not a bad thing, but not fully expressing yourself, share

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sharing your thoughts and your feelings. And in not doing all

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these things, you attracted someone who saw something else

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and you and now she's with that other person not because that

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other person is better, but maybe she can match better, and

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she can see better what that person is about. And with you,

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it was maybe a guessing game, or it was only after a few months

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or years that she found out that it's not really the right match.

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So if we can be transparent from the get go, you can only see how

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good it is for yourself. It is a brave and courageous thing to

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do. But in the end, you will get less hurt and less disappointed

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with people because they know exactly what they are seeing in

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front of them. And you know exactly what you're expressing

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and showing and it is authentic and raw and genuine. So, I

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really hope you're not going through a heartbreak right now

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because I would hate to be so far and just reachable over this

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podcast. But maybe you're still grieving over a relationship

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that is a long, long time ago. And then I want you to think

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about this a little bit what I just said here and make you feel

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okay, more okay about it than you might be feeling already.

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So, take good care of yourself, and maybe take a couple of

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minutes now and really think about what is truly good for you

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and brings your joy without being an escape into physicality

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and intellectuality. I don't even know if that word exists,

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but you know what I mean? And, yeah, Spy yourself to some

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really positive, good alone time. And then use COVID Corona

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confinement here to dream about a new hobby, a new project, you

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want to attack, a new job that you want to excel and I care so

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much about you. And we'll be out there for you tomorrow again.

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Thank you so lunch for listening you guys and girls, warriors and

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goddesses. I'm Aurora with the Borealis experience