Ep. 22 Are you standing in your own way when it comes to your happiness and success ?? [self-awareness]

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Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

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your host Aurora. And I'm very happy to be spending some time

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with you today. I hope you're doing well. Today I want to talk

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about bad habits, and how you can learn step by step to

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replace these bad habits with more beneficial habits. First of

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all, what are bad habits, I believe that bad habits are just

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things that we do, automatically, not consciously

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at all. Things that we do to maybe numb our pain that we

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don't want to address, things that we do to distract ourselves

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from a boring life with no sense of purpose. Things that we do to

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please others, maybe under peer pressure. It is habits that

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don't serve us on a higher level. They are instant

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gratification material. So you feel good in the moment, but on

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the long run. If the effects of your bad habits are compounding,

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you end up in a place that feels sad and depressed. Last. So it

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is very good to add times, check in with yourself. And check in

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what you do on a daily basis to help yourself out and to direct

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yourself into the direction you want. Because a lot of times we

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have dreams, we have goals, and we work so hard. But we never

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really seem to be getting closer to those dreams and goals. And

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sometimes it is the little things that you do on a daily

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basis that make you drift away from your goals and dreams

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instead of sliding towards your goals and dreams. I read the

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book the compound effect from Darren Hardy, I highly recommend

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that one because in this book, he describes how the daily

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habits that we engage in steer your steering wheel of life. And

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if you start changing your little habits and replace them

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with more productive, efficient habits, if it's just one little

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thing that you change at a time, let's say 1% 2%. Over time, this

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new direction might be so small at the very beginning. Over

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time, you will land directly where you want it to be. Look at

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a plane, a pilot is flying a plane from New York to Los

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Angeles, let's say. And if he has the steering wheel, just two

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degrees off of the

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usual

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route that he's flying, he will land in a totally different

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city. Do you know what I'm trying to say? No. So let's have

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a look at your habits. Is there anything that you do

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unconsciously? And when are you doing these little habits?

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Sometimes we tend to eat a little more when we feel bored

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or sad. Sometimes we drink a little more. If we want to

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forget about a stressful day sometimes, and it's not for

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everybody but we feel so lonely and disconnected that We think

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porn is going to give us the satisfaction what we need.

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Sometimes we just end up binge watching a series for three

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hours at night, because it's so engaging and interesting. And we

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feel like we're connecting with old friends when we watch that

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series. See, and those are the little habits, for instance. Of

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course, there's many more habits out there that are destructive

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or non productive. But those little habits that I just

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mentioned, make you feel good in the moment. But on the long run,

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they will not get you to wherever you want to be. So how

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do I address the change of those habits, I feel a very important

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thing to note is that we don't do these habits because we're

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dumb or such. We do these habits because they give us something

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and we just have to replace them with something better, or even

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add something to our life. So when it comes to food habits,

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when it comes to the bag of chips that you crunch on at

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night, or the ice cream, you have to really think and feel

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into it. What is it that you're doing right now? Is it the

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loneliness that you want to forget? Is it just simply

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something crunchy, salty or sweet that you're craving? And

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how can you replace that? Can you replace it with healthier

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choices. And you will see that at the end of the night, you

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will feel less guilty and might even sleep better to start by

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replacing your little snacks by healthier snacks. And we don't

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have to go into details there. Because most of the time, we

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know what is healthier, we know that chips and ice cream and

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fries are not awesome to eat. But you have to see on the long

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run, you want to have a healthy body, you want to be energetic,

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you want to be fit and fresh the next morning. So see that by

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replacing those fries and chips and ice cream. With healthier

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options, you will feel better, you will not feel like you were

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taken away something but adding value to your life. When it

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comes to binge watching movies or series at night, I would love

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you to track the time. From now on, you track the time, every

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time you sit down in front of your computer or your TV. And at

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the end of the week, or maybe at the end of two weeks or three

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weeks of tracking, like really running around with a little pen

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and paper and writing it down. I want you to add all these

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minutes all these hours together and make you aware of how much

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time you're spending there. And awareness is usually the biggest

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first step that opens you up to new possibilities and new

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habits. So let's say you realize you're spending six hours a week

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in front of your TV, in front of your phone or computer watching

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series and movies. And lately, you felt very disconnected from

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your friends and your family and you feel very lonely. And this

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is why your Netflix in so much. Well. Now we have six hours. And

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now you can decide who you want to connect with over that period

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of time. So again, you see, we are not taking away your Netflix

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and your time in front of the TV. We are replacing it with the

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thing that you're actually craving. And over time you will

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feel more fulfilled content and happy with yourself. So now you

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take these six hours. And it doesn't mean that you have to

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spend six hours a week with your friends now, but you can invest

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that time in yourself too. You can go for a nice walk, you can

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go for a swim, you can go for a hike, you can go to an art

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gallery, but being aware that it was six hours of your precious

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lifetime that you spent in front of a TV which didn't bring you

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anything but instant gratification and as sense of

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relaxation that is also not really

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to, you will feel much better over time, if you start doing

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that little new habit that replaces the TV watching on a

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daily basis, or let's say, weekly basis. So we addressed

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food habits. And with food habits, another thing I want to

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add here is that you just get rid of all the junk food that

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you have at home, and you replace it with yummy good

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things. And at the same time, know that you are going to see

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such crazy good effects when it comes to your physical health.

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And that, in turn, will also affect your mental health. Then

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we addressed unconsciously spending time online or in front

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of the TV. And this is very precious time that you can spend

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with yourself. For instance, reading, going for a walk, going

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for a swim, or meeting up with friends or meeting up with new

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people. Another habit, bad habit that I want to address here is

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when it comes to not being honest with yourself and not

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being honest with your surroundings. A lot of times we

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feel shame, maybe because we are unemployed at the moment, or we

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are single, and we don't really want to be single. And it is

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those conclusions, let's say that we make about that

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situation, that make it even worse. Because we feel we are

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not good enough. We feel we're not living a life that is worth

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enjoying and living to the fullest. And in not being honest

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with ourselves and okay with ourselves, we tend to avoid

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people, we tend to blame people and be resentful towards people,

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especially towards the people that seem to have it all. And it

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is that judgmental mindset that I want to address here with you.

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Which is also a very bad habit. Because the judgments that you

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have about yourself, will deeply affect how you feel about

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yourself. And the decisions you make for yourself. And the way

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you relate to other people will also be deeply affected if you

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don't feel enough, if you don't feel like you have anything to

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contribute to society. So the third little habit that I want

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to address here is the thoughts that you have towards yourself,

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the judgment you have towards yourself. Maybe you're not where

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you want it to be at in your life. If you think back like

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five or 10 years ago, you were dreaming or where am I going? Am

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I going to be I want to have a family, I want to have a house I

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wanted to travel and you haven't accomplished these goals. And

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now you feel like a failure. Now you feel like you have to hide

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and you cannot. Yeah, be yourself because you're going to

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be judged by others. And this is complete Bs, the more you accept

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yourself and the more you are okay with where you're at, and

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you trust that you are on the right path and you are doing

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everything possible to be on a good path. You don't need to

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hide you don't need to be ashamed. And you will see that

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people will accept you more, the more you accept yourself. You

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see, the judgment of another person can only touch you if you

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believe what they are saying. Let's say you're insecure with

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your physical appearance you do you don't feel beautiful, you

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don't feel okay wearing certain things. Now if a person comes

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along and says while those leggings are kinda tight right?

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In this into in this moment sorry, they will trigger your

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discomfort they would trigger your thoughts of in adequacy.

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And you will give them the power to be right and give them the

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power to make you feel that way. But let's imagine if you fully

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accepted your body if you fully enjoyed your body and

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appreciated and appreciated your body. If a person would come

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along and say, Wow, no slogans are tight, you would not even

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think about taking on that comment, or believing their

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comment, you would know that this comment is all about them,

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and not about you, they might have a bad day, they might feel

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they have to make another person feel shitty because they feel

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shitty about themselves. And you would leave that shitty comment

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with them. So when it comes to your thoughts, when it comes to

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your beliefs about yourself that might be still holding you back

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from living a fulfilled life. I want you to start notice your

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thoughts, and maybe even write down your thoughts. When you

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have the time when you make the time to track and to see how

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destructive our thoughts can be. When I started doing that, I

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realized wow, like the thoughts. The judgment that I have towards

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myself is so nasty is so self destructive. And I wouldn't even

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talk to a person that I don't like this way, you know, you

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would never talk even to a friend, the way you think about

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yourself at times, and this is something we need to address.

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This is something that you can gently over time, change and

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replace with positive affirmations and with positive.

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Like journaling, gratitude journaling, when you write

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everything down, that you like about yourself, you will start

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appreciating yourself accepting yourself. And people will sense

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that shift in energy and things will start flowing towards you,

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instead of away from you. So make the time over the next

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couple of weeks and have a look at your habits. Have a look at

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what might still holding you back from getting this fulfilled

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relationship from getting this dream job or from starting a

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project that you wanted to start a long time ago already. And

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always know that I'm super curious to know what you're

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thinking about this was providing you with tools that

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serve you and what are your experiences with noticing your

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bad habits now? And do you feel like you need maybe a little bit

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of support to help you out finding new beneficial habits?

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shoot me a message on Facebook or add me on Instagram and

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message me there. Make sure to subscribe to this little podcast

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here that serves you so well and brings you joy and hope and self

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reflect flection and leave me a review on Apple podcast. Thank

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you so much. I will be out there very soon again for you. Bye

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bye,