Ep. 21 Are you unhappy with yourself ? [ being single on Valentines Day ?]

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Welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm your host

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Aurora, life coach and companion on this beautiful journey called

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life. If ever you feel like you are stuck, if ever, you can make

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sense of a situation. If ever you feel desperate to understand

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what's going on with your mind your heart, please don't

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hesitate to reach out, I'm sure we could find a way to make you

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feel better about yourself, the better you know yourself, the

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stronger you can be, the more valuable and precious you are to

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society. And that in turn, will make you feel incredibly

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purposeful. To get to know yourself is a quest is a journey

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that you have to embark on. And once you're ready for it, it's a

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journey that will never end it will anchor you, it will approve

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you, it will irritate you and agitate you, or make you feel

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good. Or make you feel bad and will make you feel deeply who

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will make you experience life on a different level. On a really

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good level. Trust me on that. Hmm. Today is Valentine's Day.

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And I'm very happy to be spending some time with you.

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Because that day you can make it really special or you can make

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it like any other day, a good day. But you can set an

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intention. In fact, I recommend you setting an intention. For

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each day, every time you wake up. I want you to set an

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intention. What is it that you want to feel today? Who is it

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you want to be today? Yeah, um, when it comes to Valentine's

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Day, it's the other day that you're excited about your

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restless to experience it excited to spend with your new

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lover or with an old lover or with your companion. Or it's a

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day where you choose to be totally depressed and feel more

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lonely than on any other day. And I know I'm walking on thin

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ice if I say you are choosing to feel lonely. But I strongly

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believe that we create our own biggest suffering. And it is

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okay to feel lonely it is okay to not accept where you're at

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right now. That's perfectly fine. But where is it going to

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get you to? Where does frustration and resistance and

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nagging? Gonna get you to trust me when you are in a

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relationship and you nag you always point out the things to

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people to your partner specifically that you don't like

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they will very quickly turn around and either reject you or

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not listen to you anymore, or maybe even leave you because

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nobody wants to be around that energy for an extended time. So

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I encourage you to do the same with yourself. If you are in a

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situation that you don't like that you cannot accept, then I

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hope you do everything to change it. And that doesn't mean to be

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active or desperate or restless each moment of your life to

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change that situation. Sometimes we have to come to terms with

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where we're at. Sometimes we have to accept where we're at in

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order to Move on. If it is a place that you don't want to be

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at, then I encourage you to write down on a piece of paper.

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What are the things that you deeply despise right now and

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that you don't like and can change in your life? And what

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are the things that you don't like, but you cannot change. So

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those, of course, will be the things that you will have to

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accept, because you can change anything about it. But then if

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you see a piece of paper and a list, the things that you can

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change in your life, you can start taking action, you can

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maybe wonder, what led you to make the decisions to get to

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where you're at right now. Because you didn't just end up

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here out of nowhere, you made decisions to be in the situation

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you're in. And now you can rebel. And you can get angry,

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and you can point a finger at me and get really agitated and tell

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me no, this is not what you wanted. This is some external

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circumstance that got you where you're at, and you had nothing

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to do with that. It was an accident. It was other people.

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It was some other stuff outside of you, that led you to be where

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you're at right now and you can't stand it. Well, then my

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friend, we have to start work on making you feel less like a

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victim. And more like an empowered person who in the

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future will make decisions for him or herself. Well, you're not

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going to be able to blame anybody else outside of you. But

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yourself. It is really important to find out where you're at and

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to know what you want to change. Valentine's Day can be very

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triggering can be very uncomfortable. Right Instagram

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and Facebook, in general makes you feel inferior makes you feel

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like other people have it all together. Other people have it

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all, but you and this day can be the ultimate trigger, if you

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want to spend it on social media, I get it. I was in that

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position. But not for too long, because it got too

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uncomfortable. When I started out my journey of self discovery

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and self care, I realized the more I accept and care about

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myself and my well being the more I attract people into my

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life, who have very similar approach to well being and self

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care and who are deeply nurturing and deeply sensitive

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and deeply curious about life, such as like me. But it was only

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then that I could see that I was actually surrounded by great

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people. I just had to learn to accept myself a little more and

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care a little bit more about who I was who I am, who I want to

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be.

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So if you are in a relationship if you are, you know totally

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satisfied with your love life. I applaud you. You're wonderful,

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you're deserving. And it's so cool to have you here and

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knowing that you you still want to grow you still want to find

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out more about yourself.

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But if he is single and unhappy, very lonely. It doesn't mean

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that something is wrong with you. It means that the time

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might still not be right for a partner to step into your life.

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You see every thing every stuff I was gonna say that you don't

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address about you A self that you don't clear out that you

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don't heal that you don't find closure with, you're going to

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bring it into your relationship. And trust me, your relationship

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is going to bring up any thing that you were trying to

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suppress. And when you were single, you were able to

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bullshit yourself to not look into the mirror, and to not be

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aware of what are the things that you could declutter or

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clean out or get rid of. And in a relationship, everything,

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trust me, every little thing is going to come up and look you

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dead in the eye that you did not address. This is what

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relationships do for us. So if you are single right now, it

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doesn't mean that you're incomplete, it doesn't mean that

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you have tons of work to do. To get ready. But better to say,

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and you can look a little bit deeper inside. What is the image

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that you portray to the outside?

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Are you being real with yourself? Are you being real?

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With the people around you? Another big one, are you

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trustworthy, trustworthiness becomes more and more important.

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In a world of social media, and such.

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And dating apps. Let's mention them for a little bit. It is

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fascinating how we think that a picture, a profile with a couple

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pictures, filled with a couple of words, is going to make you

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trust a person and fall in love with a person. Yes, you can

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create sexy vibes, you can create lust, you can maybe fall

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a little bit in love with a person with what you see. But we

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all miss out on sensitive information that you would

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gather when you would meet the person in free range, their

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behavior with other people the way they move, the way they

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smell, the way they react to certain situations. I believe I

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strongly believe we fall in love with features that you cannot

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capture with any computer with any device, you have to

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experience them. So all this to say, first, you need to get to

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know yourself. First, you need to know what you're made of. And

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second, you have to find out who would be a perfect match for

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you. What is good for you, what do you need? What are you

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craving? How can you give that to yourself first, and then

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attract a partner into your life? Who enjoys the very same

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things, for instance. But you got to do the work first you got

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to know who you are, and start being yourself out there as

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well. Not only in your head. And this is why it's so incredibly

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valuable to work with a coach just like I did it not too long

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ago because then you have not only an accountability, buddy,

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but you have someone who asks the right questions. And who

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helps you to find answers to questions that you had for so

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long, who helps you to hear and reframe stories that I've heard

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you so much in the past? I hope on this day, I was able to make

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you feel empowered, and a little bit less lonely and hopeful for

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the future. The time will be right for another person to step

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into your life when you are ready and you will be ready

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whenever you are. But until then every person who is going to

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step into your life is either going to be a overcompensation,

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a distraction or Somebody that you expect to do the work.

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They're not there to rescue you. You cannot enter a nurturing

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relationship, expecting your partner to rescue you, that is

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simply not fair and will just end up in a disaster. Again, if

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you are single and unhappy, please do not despair. You are

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endlessly wersi Sometimes we're just meant to look inside, LOL

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deeper first, to then be able to embrace another into our lives.

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If you have any questions, if you want to reach out, please

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never hold back and message me on Facebook are on my Facebook

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page rora good coaching and we can start talking there and

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start figuring out how I can help you. take really good care

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of yourself and I will be out there very soon again. Bye bye