EP.20 You are not your thoughts [self-awareness]

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Hello and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

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your host Aurora, life coach and companion on this beautiful

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journey called life. Today I'm recording my episode for you out

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doors. So you might be hearing birds and bees in the

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background, maybe a little bit of wind. I hope you liked this.

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I hope you feel good. I hope you feel safe. I hope you feel

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appreciated and loved and if you don't, I hope I can be a

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stepping stone on your path to reconnecting with yourself to

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finding yourself to finding your purpose to be on the path that

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is right for you. It was my birthday yesterday and I want to

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thank you so much for all the birthday wishes. All the love

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and appreciation you sent me that was just incredible

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overwhelming. But I was able to stay calm, not feel anxious and

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just read a sea view your love and appreciation. So thank you

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so so much. I will be live on Facebook here in a couple

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moments. And if you can't make it if you want to watch the

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video later on, you can just find it on my timeline or under

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Aurora Eggert coaching. I will be talking about what I'm about

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to do and launch here. In the next couple of weeks and months

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for you. I will be hosting workshops, I will be starting in

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southern Alberta and pincher Creek and Lethbridge maybe in

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the Crowsnest pass and then go from there where after the wind

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carries me or wherever you booked me into. If you tell me

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you live in Timbuktu, you booked a room, to hold a workshop for

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people to feel better about themselves, to help them reach

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their potential also for small business owners to have

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excellent leadership skills for them to motivate and inspire

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their employees. For school teachers, I'm going to offer

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workshops to feel Yeah, less burned out and on top of things

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for young fathers, old fathers, young mothers, old mothers to

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have a deep and nurturing connection with their children.

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I will hold workshops for singles, for people who want to

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find their mate and still feel like they are not tapping into

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their true potential and are kind of searching around and

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being desperate to find somebody but also anxious to get out

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there again. And for couples, for couples who want to have a

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deeper relationship with their partner again and there, I can

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just focus on men just on women, or I take in couples, as little

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groups. And then yeah, you guys, tell me in a second session,

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what you need, what you want, I'll get ready. And then on the

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actual date, you will learn lots about yourself about the people

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around you. And I'm just so excited to be out there in the

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world, not just behind my computer recording podcasts and

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live video is for you, but to actually interact with people

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and now COVID is more or less over. Let's hope for the best

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there. And yeah, I want to be out there and connect with you

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in real life. Today I want to talk about your thoughts. So I

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talked about anxiety and nervousness in my last episodes

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I highly recommend you going back and listening to those

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episodes first because as I mentioned in every episode, this

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podcast is kind of a build up. So if you're just jumping in

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right now go back to season one and really learn how to truly

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connect to yourself and then we build from there. Little

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stepping stones for you to get to know yourself and connecting

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with others on a deeper level.

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And then last episode I talked about your thoughts and

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emotions. Where do your thoughts come from? Where does your

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emotions come from? And all eyes Share here is my opinion, my

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experiences what I have learned, this is not medical advice. This

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is no substitution for any counseling of psychotherapy. But

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what I've learned is that our body deeply influences how we

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feel. And our feelings deeply influence how we think. And our

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thoughts are sometimes deeply conditioned by our environment,

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how we grew up the social settings that we were exposed

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to, at a very young age made us do not make us conclude about

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ourselves in a certain way. And sometimes we made the wrong

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conclusions about ourselves. Sometimes we got to question our

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beliefs, our conditioning, and on tangle ourselves from

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beliefs, conditions that are holding us back that are not

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serving us anymore, that keep us stuck in a comfort zone, that

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doesn't even feel good. So today, I want to talk about your

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thoughts. Because last episode, I talked about your thoughts and

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emotions. But I also want to make sure that you know that you

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are not your thoughts, you are not your behavior. Your behavior

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is strongly connected to your identity and how you feel about

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yourself and others. And same goes for your thoughts. But if

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we learn to detach ourselves from our thoughts, and to know

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that we are actually the entity behind the thoughts, right, and

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this is what you learn when you meditate. And if you're still a

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newbie, when it comes to meditations, when you still have

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huge resistance to meditation. Don't worry, I was there for a

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long time, I resisted to meditation for the longest time.

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And I'm still no expert. But what I know it does for me is

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that I learn to watch my thoughts. And you can do that

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right now here, don't worry, I'm going to, I'm not going to force

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you to meditate here with me. But let's think about a pink

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elephant. Let's think about a juicy lemon. Let's think about

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the smile of a loved one. Now, you think of the elephant, the

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lemon, the beautiful smile. And all I did is inspire was words,

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something you could be thinking of now, do I know how your pink

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elephant looks like? Do I know in which direction he looks? Is

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he moving? is he standing still? What about the lemon? Is it a

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whole lemon? Is it a half lemon? What about the smile of the

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person you love? I have no idea who that is. But you have a very

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precise image of those three things in your mind. And so do

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I. And that's again, a very important thing to remember that

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the map of the world of your partner of the people around you

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looks very, very differently than your map how you perceive

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things. And another thing I want to dive into today is that you

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are the entity behind these thoughts now. Right, these

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thoughts pop up. Because you saw an elephant before you saw a

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lemon before you saw your loved one smiling before so you can

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recall this memory. So your mind is just such an incredibly

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awesome tool that you need to learn to use to your advantage.

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And what I mean when I say you are not your thoughts, is that

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if you were to sit down now and just watch your thoughts

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floating by as if they were in a river and you're sitting by the

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shore.

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It would totally work. You would maybe think of what is Aurora

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seeing there again today. I don't know what she means. Or I

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love her voice or I'm thinking of my grocery list that I want

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to get into right after a Thinking of something that I

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want to do later in the day. And then you can come back to your

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breath, come back to your body, come back to the present moment.

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See, so what I'm trying to do here is to make you realize that

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your thoughts are constantly running are constantly

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influenced about how you feel and about what is happening in

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your environment. But you can step into observer position,

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birds perspective position, and decide if you want to take these

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thoughts. Seriously, is it really important to think of

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that pink elephant right now of the lemon of the juicy one and

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the person that you love, and she or he is smiling? Or do you

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want to be thinking of something else. Now, if you were focused

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on homework or on your job, you wouldn't notice that, oh, your

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mind is wandering, you want to bring it back, you want to

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focus. You want to get things done at work for your homework,

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or whatever it is you want to focus on. So I like to see my

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thoughts as a misbehaved little child, that child wants my

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attention, that child is loud. And that child wants me to run

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after her chaser play with her, she wants my attention. But I

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decide to focus in on what is important. And I get to decide

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what is important, I get to decide which sod I want to

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follow and believe. And which thought I'm going to drop. And

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you can do this work all the way back to very ingrained and rigid

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thought patterns that you have, and bust them open and dissect

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them and analyze. If it's really true. Let's take for example,

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you were bullied at school, when you were six, the children were

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mean to you. They were laughing at you, they treated you badly.

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You tried to keep up with your homework and everything. But

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your grades just got worse and worse. And the bullying got

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worse and worse. And it was just a whole shit show at school.

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Now, the conclusion that you make about yourself is I don't

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matter, people laugh at me. So that means I'm not important.

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And my grades are shitty. So that means I'm stupid. You take

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that believe, threw out your puberty and to adulthood. And to

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this day you struggle with ADHD, and have a hard time to learn

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new things. Because you still think that you're stupid, you

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have a hard time to connect with people because you still think

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people think that you're laughable and unimportant and

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just silly. So you are this shy person who's crippled on a soul

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level. Because you still believe that old thought that you had

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back then when you got hurt the first time around, you had to

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make sense of the other people's behavior. And usually, as a

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child, we make everything about ourselves, we protect others

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because we need others we want to belong. So if something goes

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wrong, we usually say to ourselves that something is

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wrong with us. And if you carry this into adulthood, into your

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relationships into your work, you will not be able to do your

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best because you're not going to show up as the person you're

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meant to be. You're showing up as the person you are after

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downloading

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these limiting beliefs. And that's so destructive and so

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painful to watch as an outsider as a coach, because I can

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usually see very quickly if not in the first session than in the

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second session how precious and unique my client In this who's

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sitting in front of me and opening up about their stuff,

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but they themselves still see themselves as broken,

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dysfunctional, and not worthy. Not enough. So once we learn to

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hack into these thoughts, and know that the thoughts are

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always going to be there, they're always going to run in

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the background. And you are the entity who decides what to

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believe and what not. You go back to knowing who you are

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meant to be on this planet. And then you only hook into the

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thoughts that are serving you on a level where you can grow and

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nourish yourself, expand and do the same for others, helping

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empowering inspiring others. Alright, so I'm going to leave

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you with a little exercise. I want you to do this when you are

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by yourself at home in a safe place. You are not operating any

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machinery, you are not driving a bicycle. Or any motorized

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vehicle you are at home on a couch or in your room, you close

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your eyes. And you see what happens. I want you to see which

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thoughts come up. It can be distraction, it can be oh my

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god, I don't want to be sitting here because I got so much to

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do. All I got to scratch my head, or I got to feed the dog.

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Set a timer on two minutes. Two minutes is more than enough. And

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just watch your thoughts float by and smile at how creative

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your mind is to get you out of this position of reflection.

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Your mind doesn't want you to reflect because this would mean

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that you threaten the ego that you threaten of letting go of

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thoughts that it wants you to focus on. And then you stop and

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then you go back to whatever you wanted to do. Just two minutes

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do it. Share with me on how your experience went and connect with

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me. Please also know that this podcast is donor driven. It is a

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people powered podcast because I want to make sure that you're

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not being disturbed by any stupid advertisement and

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sponsorship. So thank you so much for the people who

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regularly donate to this podcast to have it running sustainably.

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And if you decide to donate today, I will make sure to

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mention you if you so please, and I would greatly appreciate

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any thing that you want to donate. Alright, I'm gonna leave

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you with this. And yeah, find the links in my show notes. To

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find out more about Aurora Eggert, coaching about donations

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of coffees Of course I'm not gonna buy coffees them money is

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gonna go directly back into my podcast here. And I'm gonna

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leave you with that. take really good care of yourself. And until