Episode 19
Ep. 19 Not the regular ex convict Interview w/ Christian McCoy
What I'm absolutely passionate about is to cut through people's prejudice.
Have a listen to this wonderful conversations I had with Christian McCoy the other day.
Christian McCoy with the Convict Connect Group.
Not the regular ex convict.
Let’s get a little better at giving people a second chance.
Sometimes we are just one weird decision away from getting incarcerated so why not starting to cut through some beliefs we hold and give people who had to spent some time in jail a fair second chance.
Christian and I will talk about
The start of his journey after being incarcerated
His mission with the convict connect group- completely self funded and self reliant
The intense mental and emotional pressure when getting out of jail and being out in this world left with your thoughts
The beauty of Brotherhood
Slowly being able to trusting people again
The daily life of convicts with structure and solid respect towards individuals
Impulsivity
Enjoy this beautiful conversation
Hoping to bring you value
Hoping to shine some light onto a topic that is truly dear to me
With love
From Munich Germany
A.
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Transcript
Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis
Unknown:experience. I'm your host Aurora. And I'm very happy and
Unknown:excited delighted to have Christian McCoy with me today,
Unknown:we met a couple weeks ago, over a Facebook group called the
Unknown:convict connection. Some of you might know this about me that
Unknown:I'm totally passionate about talking about the Correctional
Unknown:Services like in North America, I feel we all deserve a second
Unknown:chance, especially people who were in jail and are being
Unknown:released back into society. And we as a society, we have to make
Unknown:it a little easier for people to reintroduce themselves into
Unknown:society, it is hard enough to get out of jail and to go back
Unknown:into this crazy, messy world. And if we could meet them with a
Unknown:little bit more compassion, with more empathy, and not forgetting
Unknown:that sometimes we're all just one weird decision, one step
Unknown:away from being incarcerated. So I feel this is going to be a
Unknown:series of episodes that we're going to do here together with
Unknown:Christian and also Patrick has his partner because they started
Unknown:a really neat project where they help people to find themselves
Unknown:and to to feel comfortable being out there again, in society,
Unknown:they're kind of the watchdogs. They are the mold in the cracks
Unknown:of the system, not to say that the system is rotten and not
Unknown:serving us, but I feel we as society, we can do a little
Unknown:more. Christian, welcome to the show. I'm very excited to kick
Unknown:start our little project here. I would love you to introduce
Unknown:yourself a little bit, as much into detail as you feel
Unknown:comfortable with the better people know you, the better we
Unknown:can relate to you. And yeah, let's just go from there.
Unknown:Thank you, Rob, how are you?
Unknown:I'm very good. I'm very excited to have this conversation with
Unknown:you and to share with people. Yeah, what your mission is with
Unknown:Patrick and yeah, it's, it's gonna be a good good couple
Unknown:hours that we spent together here in the future.
Unknown:Well, I appreciate you giving us this platform to kind of speak
Unknown:in in advertise where we come from as an entity and, and we,
Unknown:as you stated, we do and did generate group called convict
Unknown:Connect. And we started probably, I don't know, five or
Unknown:six years ago, and it was more of a support group with five or
Unknown:six individuals that had spent time incarcerated throughout the
Unknown:prison system within the state of Nebraska. And it was just
Unknown:kind of, we got together kind of as a sounding board more or less
Unknown:with grew up with, like I said, five or six guys just to make
Unknown:sure that we were touching base and we weren't too out there on
Unknown:our thoughts or what we're trying to accomplish because as
Unknown:we'll get into, hopefully, in the future episodes will
Unknown:understand that there's definitely delusions of grandeur
Unknown:for people they're setting out for the prison system in to
Unknown:society immediately. I think it's all you know, it's all
Unknown:seated with good and it started in good intent and rooted is
Unknown:trying to do good things, but a lot of times I think, you know,
Unknown:coming out, taking it step by step, biting off more than you
Unknown:can chew to kind of sows the seeds for discouragement, and
Unknown:maybe a little bit of overwhelming feelings that a lot
Unknown:of these guys probably had with them before they violated or did
Unknown:something where society needed to take them and separate them
Unknown:for a timeout by hiring barbed wire and shotguns and you know,
Unknown:30, odd sixes and so forth, as far as To protection from
Unknown:society. So what we did is we sat down and we did this for it
Unknown:went on for probably about a month anyway, we're all excited,
Unknown:we're doing this. And we're having it in a Panera of all
Unknown:places not to name drop, but it was just kind of a locale for us
Unknown:to do on Saturday morning. And notice that it was kind of
Unknown:growing, and everybody was getting excited and wanted to
Unknown:throw in more, and we're looking forward to it. Well, it's also a
Unknown:bunch of gangsters talking about gangster stuff around grandmas
Unknown:and grandpa's, that are trying to have their peach cobbler or
Unknown:their frittata, and coffee and so forth in the morning. So it
Unknown:was a little bit of a different dialogue, probably the most
Unknown:patrons of that establishment were used to having or have
Unknown:around them at seven o'clock in the morning and Saturday. So and
Unknown:we'll kind of go on from there. But that's initially how it
Unknown:started. Speaking and, of course, the kind of the rule and
Unknown:coming from this mentality, number one, I think you and I
Unknown:both know that we need to number one be able to relate to them.
Unknown:before we're able to help out in any capacity, I don't think we
Unknown:necessarily need to go in and solve problems. But I think we
Unknown:need to be validated as being trustworthy, or gone through a
Unknown:certain number of steps. So these individuals that need the
Unknown:help, the ones that are we're here, they're we're here for are
Unknown:able to trust us or at least give us the respect of giving
Unknown:some of their attention and some of their, you know, ability to
Unknown:follow through on things. And so with me, to give you just a
Unknown:little bit of a short synopsis on my criminal history and
Unknown:background, I found out it's a little different, not better,
Unknown:not worse, I think it's actually worse in most cases, people
Unknown:might not look at it, but I didn't get in involved or have
Unknown:any sort of infraction with the law, where I immediately went to
Unknown:prison once I did. So I kind of skipped the county mistakes and
Unknown:so forth that a lot of people do. And they kind of say go
Unknown:through as far as grade school in high school, you get up to
Unknown:the big leagues, or you go to prison. different dynamic for
Unknown:each state, of course, but with me, mine was a situation with
Unknown:involving embezzled, we started off as embezzlement, but it
Unknown:actually turned into it was a theft by deception and just
Unknown:being completely transparent. And everything it was more of a
Unknown:situation of trying to keep up with the Joneses type of
Unknown:mentality where there's a lot of
Unknown:internal inventory and internal research that I've done on
Unknown:myself to find out that it's really kind of rude and of
Unknown:course, low self esteem a lot of these things that are indicative
Unknown:are symbiotic with what these other guys are going through. So
Unknown:we I I can appreciate that. And it was a situation to where
Unknown:involve banks involve loans through banks, and it was more
Unknown:or less it wasn't to fund a gambling addiction or a drug
Unknown:addiction or anything like that. It was simply to fund a
Unknown:lifestyle where I thought I needed to maintain a certain
Unknown:level of of visual pneus where I'm perceived as having them as
Unknown:much as the next door neighbor, whatever the case was anyway. So
Unknown:that once we got done with and once I was able to establish
Unknown:that and get out and involved in this program, then what it did
Unknown:is it aligned me with like minded individuals, where I
Unknown:really could kind of trust now and I think trust was a big
Unknown:thing in my past where we didn't have the trust ability I didn't
Unknown:trust that people would like me for not the best looking dude,
Unknown:not the can't jump the highest, you know, shortcomings in myself
Unknown:and, and insecurities about myself to where I thought that
Unknown:people wouldn't want to hang out or do something unless I had
Unknown:something to offer. So when you work in an environment like
Unknown:that, or when you come through an environment it is different
Unknown:and anybody that hasn't been or has been involved in the prison
Unknown:system can appreciate the fact when it's a complete respect,
Unknown:utopia, it is a utopia it's a completely different environment
Unknown:that we live in. Once we're behind the systems, it's our own
Unknown:little in the system, our own community. You know, we we eat,
Unknown:we have commerce, we have trade. We have everything that goes on
Unknown:in society is just the worst surrounded by, you know, barbed
Unknown:wire fence. So when you get out it's much different because
Unknown:having that sort of structure and sort of respect with much
Unknown:dire circumstances that we do in society, it, it's a unique
Unknown:experience. And that's one thing that we do have to adapt to. And
Unknown:coming from individuals, a lot of times that have will say it
Unknown:impulsivity is the number one thing I've seen, that has an
Unknown:issue. And people that don't sit down and wait and relax and
Unknown:think about their options, or think of a scenario out a lot of
Unknown:times as dire circumstances, and you are exactly right, Aurora,
Unknown:you know, we are, a lot of people are one decision away.
Unknown:But that doesn't justify those that have gone and had
Unknown:infractions or had, you know, backslides, or however you want
Unknown:to term it, to go to the to be involved in the prison system.
Unknown:So once you get out, we've have that get out of jail free card,
Unknown:so to speak, already sent are already spending we are much
Unknown:more culpable, and much more responsible for our decisions
Unknown:than somebody that might not be on something as simple as a
Unknown:traffic infraction or a traffic ticket. And to kind of maybe
Unknown:touch base a little bit with what you were speaking about.
Unknown:Kind of where we integrate with you is when you said fill in the
Unknown:cracks and so forth, that's exactly it we look at ourself is
Unknown:more of kind of an aggregate program, worthy individuals.
Unknown:Number one, we're not affiliated in any way shape or form with
Unknown:any sort of programming with any state mandated, you know,
Unknown:programming system through the Department of Corrections,
Unknown:parole departments, anything like that, we actually are
Unknown:completely self funded. We are completely autonomous. As far as
Unknown:our mission statement, what we're looking to do. And that's
Unknown:not saying that we don't agree with it. You know, we're in a
Unknown:state that we have a local college and not to toot anybody
Unknown:else's horn, but we do have great faculties and great
Unknown:resources and utilities, to help individuals almost with anything
Unknown:that they would need help with. We've been accepted. Also
Unknown:through the parole department in the past, where we, you know,
Unknown:had the parole officers that were telling us that they were
Unknown:going to, you know, drug test us and the parole officers a week
Unknown:reported to, before the COVID situation happened, we're now
Unknown:sending individuals that were coming out, we're in work,
Unknown:release, or refresh on parole, and we're kind of intensely
Unknown:supervised, we were an option
Unknown:for them to come to, as far as a meeting group with them, not
Unknown:programming at all, but we were accepted. And I think the reason
Unknown:that part of the reason we were accepted is we offer complete
Unknown:transparency, we come try to come in with the most realistic
Unknown:approach of, you know, anybody that gets out of prison is going
Unknown:to come out and they're going to have it already in their head
Unknown:that don't do drugs, don't drink, go to work. All of these
Unknown:things that most people take for granted. They're not taken for
Unknown:granted because they haven't been an option. This is
Unknown:sometimes very alien world that a lot of these guys are getting
Unknown:out that are wholeheartedly wanting to do. But sometimes
Unknown:they don't have the tools to be able to manage it. And when I
Unknown:say an aggregate program, we fill in the blanks when there's
Unknown:not parole officers to get ahold of the parole offices closed.
Unknown:It's after your a meeting or your narcotics meeting. And it's
Unknown:just you left with your thoughts. And sometimes these
Unknown:individuals that's a very, very bad situation, or a very
Unknown:incendiary situation, to where, you know, low culpability or how
Unknown:it learning to have culpability and already trying to overcome
Unknown:impulsivity issues and so forth. A lot of times it's very caustic
Unknown:stew for people to get involved in bad decision making and
Unknown:that's not their fault.
Unknown:Hmm, no, and like another reason why I needed to contact you once
Unknown:I found out what you guys are doing is that you are so
Unknown:incredibly precious to society. Like the work you are doing is
Unknown:so incredible, because I can totally see that when you are in
Unknown:prison. It's it's not comfortable, you're not free.
Unknown:You can do whatever you want, but you have structure. You have
Unknown:people around you that maybe give you a sense of safety at
Unknown:some point you you have kind of a brotherhood starting or like a
Unknown:safe place to be where everything is orderly and then
Unknown:you're being thrown out into society. And the weird things
Unknown:happen. After our right, the weird things happen once we are
Unknown:left alone with our thoughts, it's either suicidal or criminal
Unknown:or, or whatever comes up, it is so crazy. And you don't have to
Unknown:be an ex convict to have these anxious feelings and compulsive
Unknown:feelings. But those people needed the most. And that's why
Unknown:for me, it's so crazy to see that we know that nutrition.
Unknown:Same thing in hospitals, by the way, nutrition helps you with
Unknown:your mental health helps you to be stable helps you to have like
Unknown:a stable sugar to not slide into depression and obesity, which
Unknown:can affect your mind. And we know that Yeah, being slowly
Unknown:introduced into society would be a way better approach than just
Unknown:yeah, releasing them and letting them deal with all the triggers
Unknown:that there is all of a son again. And my my vision is
Unknown:really, that we can make people aware of this and that we don't
Unknown:demand this from the system to change, but to change it in our
Unknown:minds to know that you are just like me, wherever you've been
Unknown:convicted, or went to jail, that system trusted, that you are
Unknown:good to be released, and I fully trust them, I fully trust you.
Unknown:And let's move on, let's start our journey from here. And let's
Unknown:not, you know, guilt trip you or shame you for what you've done
Unknown:in the past. But let's help each other because the anxieties that
Unknown:you have, you know, not feeling enough having to keep up with
Unknown:the neighbor. Otherwise, we don't feel worthy. We all have
Unknown:that to some degree, and we all have to heal that wound and, and
Unknown:to put you on a on a pedestal now and to make you the bad guy
Unknown:now is is not the right way to go. And I have so much respect
Unknown:for you to share your story here and to to know that you went
Unknown:through so much pain, and now you want to help people to not
Unknown:feel alone and to not feel desperate. And yeah, it's just
Unknown:incredible what you guys are doing. And I would love you to
Unknown:share a little bit more how your daily life looks like with that
Unknown:mission. Do people call you in the middle of the night? Do you
Unknown:meet up with with people and do kind of an informal counseling?
Unknown:How can we how can we imagine your work?
Unknown:We have and understand as well. You know, some of these guys
Unknown:have done, you know, the horrible things are some of the
Unknown:stories we hear that if you have substance abuse, addictions
Unknown:going in, when people come out, they are the most sand, not
Unknown:necessarily hygienic, but sanitary. They follow protocol
Unknown:as far as guidelines in regards to their health and so forth.
Unknown:And I'm sure he probably is, you know, being incarcerated, I
Unknown:wasn't incarcerated, as long as a lot of these guys were no,
Unknown:they were probably a little bit more diligent or prudent as far
Unknown:as wiping hands and washing hands off and, you know, things
Unknown:like that. But when we get out and the reason I'm saying this
Unknown:is because COVID has, you know, basically turned everybody into
Unknown:Dr. Fauci. Everybody has turned into into a situation that we
Unknown:have to do this and then have to do that, which is good, but it
Unknown:really does kind of it does segment you know, or
Unknown:compartmentalize individuals to not have group environments. And
Unknown:with us, part of the drawing part of our tackling fuel is
Unknown:that group environment, you know, people you know, like
Unknown:things like manipulation. manipulation isn't necessarily
Unknown:always a bad thing. And I'm a huge proponent and subscriber to
Unknown:it, as well. I think that you know, a lot of times
Unknown:manipulation and peer pressure, when applied very appropriately,
Unknown:in a good environment does allow some people to see Kind of the
Unknown:error of their ways, especially if they're stuck in a thought
Unknown:process where they can't get over the fact of, they might
Unknown:need to absorb a little bit of culpability just a little bit.
Unknown:And that's real, that's hard for us as human beings. And I think
Unknown:that's one of the things that it's trying to be a hypocrite
Unknown:with, with a lot of these guys saying, you know, we need to, we
Unknown:need to practice culpability and self awareness and compassion,
Unknown:all that stuff when we see a lot of that baking in the world
Unknown:right now. And so one thing that we try to do is get them ahead
Unknown:of the curve, as far as acceptability in the society and
Unknown:holding doors open for people as they go through and not rushing
Unknown:through or allowing someone to go in front of you in line. And
Unknown:a lot of guys, I noticed do do that most guys that uh, we come
Unknown:out, that we see coming out and social, you know, interactions
Unknown:or occasions are perfect gentlemen. Because they know
Unknown:that if you do that, in and violate that rule, while you're
Unknown:in prison, it very well can end up with your head getting
Unknown:slammed in a steel door as a sign of disrespect. So we
Unknown:calibrated our thought process much differently. So a lot of
Unknown:these guys are on board. And like I said, with a little bit
Unknown:of peer pressure, and a little bit of manipulation. As far as
Unknown:circumstances, you have these guys on board for doing the
Unknown:right thing. And the right thing really honestly started off
Unknown:before COVID happened within our meanings.
Unknown:By saying just take one other person into consideration when
Unknown:you do your decision making just one other person, meaning it
Unknown:could be the person for me, it doesn't even have to do with
Unknown:what you have going on. But just take or think of someone else.
Unknown:Think of how it would affect someone else, even if it doesn't
Unknown:affect them at all. That I think kind of sows the seeds of
Unknown:compassion and empathy and things to where you're not a
Unknown:you're not a sucker, you're not a punk, you're not anything,
Unknown:you're just a normal effing human being that you know, I
Unknown:mean, we, if we help out other people, then that's a little bit
Unknown:infectious. And most of the stuff that we do, is and we're
Unknown:completely fine with it is is we don't get, we don't get patted
Unknown:on the back, and so forth. And the nice thing about it is
Unknown:everybody that's involved with this, all five founders, none of
Unknown:us are in it for the glory. I mean, for hear me being the one
Unknown:that's out, I just am the one that loves to hear myself talk
Unknown:the most. So the only reason that I'm in front of everybody
Unknown:is and nobody else is because I don't have I don't have the
Unknown:reservations or things and these guys beyond me can tell stories
Unknown:for days. And hopefully we get to that point. But this is kind
Unknown:of a new platform for us social media, podcasting, but it
Unknown:doesn't change the message of what we've been out here doing
Unknown:and grinding and helping people out and taking phone calls and
Unknown:absorbing costs of getting guys to, you know, Costco, so we can
Unknown:get a boxer shorts and jeans and socks and everything that they
Unknown:need, because they're going out into the world and they need a
Unknown:job, and they don't have the ability. And nobody cares why
Unknown:they don't have that ability to fund themselves or clothe
Unknown:themselves or whatever. But some of these guys just don't have
Unknown:it. And that doesn't make them that doesn't make their
Unknown:situation any less to succeed. And we can so if we can help out
Unknown:in any way we will, will in in in more of a compassion
Unknown:perspective as well. Anybody who gets on our Facebook page
Unknown:fantasies, what we're about, we try to have a consistent
Unknown:positivity. We just we don't like to completely come away. We
Unknown:like to have some, you know that we put videos up of prison
Unknown:stories and so forth, because that is polarizing. There's no
Unknown:other way to get it's funny we I did a Oh a group talk about a
Unknown:year and a half ago. And it was just kind of an opening for a
Unknown:lunch and then so forth. And it was just the Very Vanilla
Unknown:homogenized prison stories that I've accrued or seen throughout
Unknown:mine. And these guys that work in the medical, like the tech
Unknown:medical field. It was for a lunch and it was probably it was
Unknown:only about 2025 minutes and they sat like kindergarteners, Indian
Unknown:style around with their mouth wide open, just listening to how
Unknown:we make prison burritos, or the process it takes to get, you
Unknown:know, a cigarette or the process it takes whatever it would be in
Unknown:prison. It's just it's it's completely amazed these
Unknown:individuals so if we have a plan form with that and an interest
Unknown:with society and where people go, then we need to get a
Unknown:message across as far as how we can help these individual, if
Unknown:that makes sense.
Unknown:Oh, total, totally like, it makes wonderful sense. And you
Unknown:just made me aware again, of the pressure that people must feel
Unknown:of, of, yeah, trying to be perfect and trying to not make
Unknown:any mistakes. And in jail, you function a very certain way. And
Unknown:then you being released into society. And all of a sudden you
Unknown:meet rude people, you meet people who yet totally trigger
Unknown:you, or, you know, you hold the door, and the girl is being
Unknown:like, very ungrateful. And, you know, like, it's a very weird
Unknown:world that we live in at the moment. And I can can't imagine
Unknown:it being very difficult. Like I noticed.
Unknown:Absolutely, and not to interrupt you, I'm sorry. It just reminded
Unknown:me to say the biggest trigger that a lot of these guys have
Unknown:getting out and so forth, is being made to feel insignificant
Unknown:or not equal. So when I say, people going in doors are not
Unknown:saying thank you, that's a big turnoff, because it's not. It's
Unknown:not that they have a chip on their shoulder. It's that
Unknown:they're really trying hard, and harder than anybody else. And a
Unknown:lot of Scituate, I can personally attest to this. Yeah,
Unknown:there are a lot of guys out here that are trying with everything
Unknown:they have, man, they're trying so so hard. And when somebody
Unknown:comes across and does something, they don't have the faculties
Unknown:yet, as far as they're generating them, and they're
Unknown:exercising and growing them. But they don't have the faculties
Unknown:not to see and to be I think completely civilian eyes back
Unknown:into the real world. That is rude. No matter who you are, if
Unknown:you walk inside of a door, I don't care in a prison or not
Unknown:order and just act like you don't see someone. That's not
Unknown:how not. That's how that's how scumbags act is what I think, is
Unknown:just an ugly soul.
Unknown:Exactly. And but the problem with people who just got out of
Unknown:jail is that they make it about themselves, they think, Oh,
Unknown:yeah, I'm still not worthy, I still feel so much guilt and
Unknown:shame. This is why the person is treating me that way. And it is
Unknown:wrong, it is because the person is a jerk from the get go, and
Unknown:he would have treated me the same way he would have treated
Unknown:you. It has nothing to do with your worth. But this is what
Unknown:you're trying to make people aware of. And I have a feeling
Unknown:that you're going to turn people into mindfulness warriors, and
Unknown:heart driven leaders, because you're going to give them tools,
Unknown:that the normal person who never went to jail, who lives a very
Unknown:ignorant life embedded in society will never have access
Unknown:to because they didn't have to go through this intense pain.
Unknown:Not to say that we have to go. People have to go through
Unknown:intense pain. But sometimes the beauty of it is that we learn
Unknown:tools on how to live a more meaningful life, purposeful
Unknown:life, more simple life. I only met Patrick once, but he gives
Unknown:me like the vibe that he's a very content person with, with
Unknown:not much like he seems very humble about it, at least, or
Unknown:intimidating. Very maddening. Yeah, it's somebody that
Unknown:balanced.
Unknown:Yeah, but he is not the threatening or aggressive in any
Unknown:way. He's just very confident. And maybe he wouldn't have this
Unknown:confidence. If he didn't have to go through health first, do you
Unknown:do know what I'm trying to say?
Unknown:I do. And I think you know, and that's a good point, or is that
Unknown:we learn as much from these gentlemen coming out. Or as much
Unknown:as sponges, they are probably even more so because we're
Unknown:learning to have a diet we're needing to. We're learning about
Unknown:a dynamic or a twist on a dynamic or behavioral, you know,
Unknown:personality type that we need to utilize and be able to help
Unknown:future ones we're not maybe necessarily trying to, to find
Unknown:the right path are finding the right way to do things as much
Unknown:disease individuals that are getting out although we are, you
Unknown:know, in the same breath, but the number one thing is that
Unknown:these guys a lot of times, we'll see People coming out that are
Unknown:extremely seasoned, that come out and don't get upset and say
Unknown:when they something goes wrong. And you know, someone does
Unknown:something that we perceive as an infraction, and it might even
Unknown:upset me, you find guys that are still in that are getting out or
Unknown:just freshly got out. That said, you don't know what that
Unknown:person's going through, or I'm going to pray for that person,
Unknown:or whatever it is. And that's a very, that's something that I
Unknown:don't have yet still. And I'm trying very hard to do it. And
Unknown:it's funny, because maybe that's, you know, whether or not
Unknown:they're saying the right thing they knew, and it was very
Unknown:effective and tactical that they said it right there. And right
Unknown:at that specific point. And, you know, I think a lot of these
Unknown:individuals that are getting out and we're trying to help, we're
Unknown:not trying to do anything other than perpetuate the greater
Unknown:good. Yeah. So when we do things, you know, we're all
Unknown:we're completely self funded. We're not privately funded
Unknown:through anybody. We help out in areas where we know that they
Unknown:can help out we did as these on our website gave away 10 free
Unknown:dinners during when COVID first shut the world down, shut the
Unknown:world, the world was shut down. Completely weird dynamic for
Unknown:these gentlemen that are stepping out into an
Unknown:environment. I've never seen anything like it at the time, my
Unknown:92 year old grandfather, asking me through points of lucidity,
Unknown:if he's ever seen anything like this, He neither has either. So
Unknown:that's another variable in the equation that these guys have to
Unknown:put in to figure out the solution. So we also, you know,
Unknown:I mean, just to say that we're empathized in the greater good
Unknown:as far as what people need, people need for immediate help.
Unknown:And that allows them to not have to worry because like I said, a
Unknown:lot of times, little things will take you off your main goal. So
Unknown:if we can kind of aggregate we fill in the cracks, you know,
Unknown:we'd be able to hopefully, allow these people to stay on the path
Unknown:where they can get back, get the momentum going. So they can, you
Unknown:know, remove the training wheels and just let momentum carry on
Unknown:them in a decent direction and in the right direction. And it's
Unknown:a, I was trying, I wanted to have another lady throughout
Unknown:this, this interview, introduce her because it puts us in
Unknown:contact with other groups, other groups that now we're working
Unknown:with the lady who is telling lady, her husband, and they have
Unknown:a organization or foundation that they deal with helping out
Unknown:an inmate or certainly inmates, through private funding for
Unknown:basic necessities, and then kind of doing a think tank and so
Unknown:forth. A lot of times and using social media, if you're really
Unknown:doing the right thing, it does allow us kind of an engine to
Unknown:where we can highlight or we can feature an individual that is on
Unknown:all paper doing the right things. And I don't you know,
Unknown:one thing about us is we we practice complete transparency.
Unknown:So for every good one that gets out and speaking the right word
Unknown:about what he or she is going to do. There's also another one
Unknown:that is saying exactly what everybody wants to hear. And
Unknown:when they step out, their actions do not mimic their
Unknown:words, and they end up you know, re offending and going back. And
Unknown:that doesn't mean that they're not any less important. But with
Unknown:the greater good and what we're doing we're trying to align
Unknown:ourselves with, with programs that will help out and give the
Unknown:initiative to the people that everything that they've shown us
Unknown:is that they do want to change you know, we're not a we're
Unknown:definitely not officiating, that we don't catch everything that
Unknown:comes in and love professionally, we have respect
Unknown:for everybody. And we have everything you know, in line and
Unknown:in place online to where we can you know, individuals that are
Unknown:struggling, we can point them in the right direction as far as
Unknown:assistance through programming, or housing or job placement or
Unknown:certification for job pantries, things like that we have other
Unknown:avenues and other resources that we're familiar with and we can
Unknown:send them but as far as the personal decisions and you know
Unknown:the the personal fortitude to want to change yourself. That's
Unknown:really where we're kind of programmed as far as being or
Unknown:where our program is, is is rooted in as far as our business
Unknown:model and our mission statement of where we want to go and what
Unknown:we want to do. Now this is because everybody does make
Unknown:everybody does make decisions and everybody might be one step
Unknown:away but you know, there are some agree Just steps along the
Unknown:process. A lot of times it's knucklehead decision making. And
Unknown:I think anybody will tell you that civilians are the ones that
Unknown:have done things right their entire lives. There is honorable
Unknown:to us as maybe workers, some people that have gotten out and
Unknown:turn their lives around this perceived other people, just
Unknown:because people that have done the right thing. And you know, a
Unknown:lot of these people have thoughts like my great
Unknown:grandfather, where you just go to work because you have to, and
Unknown:you just do everything you do for the family, and you're not
Unknown:special. You're not a snowflake, you do what the next door
Unknown:neighbor does, because that's what everybody does for the
Unknown:greater good. And I, I do like that. I do like that approach,
Unknown:because it offers a very humble, you know, very humble sort of
Unknown:identity as individuals to do it the right way. And do it the not
Unknown:trying to reinvent the wheel.
Unknown:Mm hmm. No, I totally. I totally agree with that, Kristen. I just
Unknown:would like people to see that we can approach this more with a
Unknown:healing attitude and compassionate attitude. And and
Unknown:know that, yeah, people, some people just were led astray. But
Unknown:they have value, they have extreme value. They're so
Unknown:precious, we can learn from from everybody around us. And we need
Unknown:to do this together, we can just keep people separated, and think
Unknown:that they're going to function because as soon as there is
Unknown:separation, there is sickness. Because we're all meant to be
Unknown:connected. We're meant to work together to heal together, to
Unknown:grow together. And I get it, the system is how it is we separate
Unknown:people who have done something wrong. But if we have the
Unknown:intention to release them back to society, we have to do a
Unknown:better job at reintroducing them. And yeah, once again, I
Unknown:have so much respect for the work you're doing. Because I can
Unknown:see now maybe during COVID, even more people are are rising up to
Unknown:their purpose. It is not any more about well, do you have
Unknown:that degree? Did you actually study this because otherwise,
Unknown:I'm not going to believe you, Christian, I don't care what
Unknown:degree you have. I know you're doing such an awesome job.
Unknown:Because you approach it with your heart. you approach it
Unknown:from, from your perspective, from your experiences, and you
Unknown:have the empathy to understand what other people might need.
Unknown:And this is so much more valuable than any degree that
Unknown:you could get through books. I want to ask you one.
Unknown:Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. Well, I wanted to say that that's, and I
Unknown:think, you know, just to tell your, your audience and so
Unknown:forth, and educate them, that's where we kind of aligned with
Unknown:each other. Because what you bring to the table is that you
Unknown:know, that that transcendental kind of approach to mental
Unknown:healing or personal mental healing? The application can be
Unknown:throughout the day, however it is, but it does. And I think it
Unknown:keeps people in touch, and it keeps people connected. Because
Unknown:the one you know, one of the things that we look at as
Unknown:triggers is when people start to isolate, once they start to
Unknown:isolate, it doesn't necessarily always mean that it's bad
Unknown:things. But usually all bad things, start with isolation or
Unknown:isolating yourself from individuals because you feel
Unknown:guilty or whatever the case is.
Unknown:Yeah, yeah. And another thing I want to add to that is that
Unknown:people who have been in this protected environments have to
Unknown:say, Now out in society sometimes maybe feel
Unknown:overstimulated and just think, Oh my god, what is all this
Unknown:craziness? And it is exactly those people who can make me
Unknown:aware of the crazy life I'm living and then I can make sense
Unknown:of why do I have insomnia? Why do I have headaches all the
Unknown:time? Well, yeah, because we all run around like chickens with
Unknown:chopped of heads and a person who has been removed for a
Unknown:certain time and let's say after 20 years comes back can really
Unknown:make us aware of where have we come to and where do we need to
Unknown:go back to because it is all going in into very weird
Unknown:directions now.
Unknown:Well, absolutely in like you had said to, you know, getting out I
Unknown:referred to it as kind of delay legions of grantor and that's,
Unknown:that's your you're preaching from that book that's exactly
Unknown:right, we get out and we get overwhelmed because we've been
Unknown:psyching ourselves up to this time when we get out, we get
Unknown:out, I'm going to do things different, I'm going to run for
Unknown:mayor and I'm going to be governor and then I'm gonna
Unknown:become president, the United States and I'm going to be
Unknown:Superman, I'm gonna get a cape on the can fly and I can do and
Unknown:it's, it's your intention, probably, you know, you have
Unknown:good intention, and I come from the same subscription, but then
Unknown:you get out and you find out that we don't live on Mars, and
Unknown:there's only 24 hours in a day to be able to do these things.
Unknown:And that's where it we do try to help out. And I like working
Unknown:with that demographic of individuals because that they
Unknown:can become discouraged really quick. And like I said, the
Unknown:impulsivity and sometimes we see, you know, whether it's
Unknown:society based or within the individual or pharmacology or
Unknown:whatever the thing is, it's a different mentality now in the
Unknown:civilian world and within the incarcerated world, to where I
Unknown:heard a convenient, say, at one time is that people to eat, they
Unknown:go to the Abyss really quick now. And what I mean is that
Unknown:sometimes you just shake your head, as far as the logic behind
Unknown:some of this decision making, meaning that if you got your, if
Unknown:you got your shifts canceled at McDonald's, that's a reason to
Unknown:run out and run a kick door robbery on somebody, because
Unknown:you're not feeling good. And you're like, we're like, Whoa,
Unknown:whoa, whoa, whoa, where did we get into that line of thinking,
Unknown:well, that's a herd mentality. That's someone that hasn't had
Unknown:probably anybody really give a damn about him to look at him.
Unknown:And through manipulation, and through peer pressure, say that
Unknown:is the dumbest thing I said, dumbest thing that's ever come
Unknown:out of your mouth, that I've heard you saying a lot of guys,
Unknown:that helps out because what it proves is there's someone out
Unknown:there that does, that might not care about him his foot, you
Unknown:know, may not I'm not gonna move you into my house. But I am in a
Unknown:situation to where it shows that someone does care, it shows that
Unknown:someone is looking out for me to say, don't do that, instead of
Unknown:well then hit me up when you're done. And, you know, whatever
Unknown:the case is, it's just a situation to see that someone is
Unknown:taking time out of their day, even if it's through chastising,
Unknown:to say, why what is going on, like, let's, let's sit down for
Unknown:a sec, and rethink this evaluation of what exactly you
Unknown:want to come out of this situation. And it's, it's, it's
Unknown:ramping, unfortunately, now, and I think it's number one, it
Unknown:plays into no culpability, and I hate to keep beating. But if you
Unknown:notice, there's kind of a trend or a pattern, as far as things
Unknown:that we utilize within our, our group, and, and words and
Unknown:terminology that will keep coming up. And that's important
Unknown:culpability, self respect. You know, having a thought process
Unknown:where you think of someone else, one thing that I'm trying one
Unknown:thing I'm trying to do now and it's we're trying to formulate
Unknown:clothing while I'm trying to deal with all sorts of things,
Unknown:delusions of grandeur, like I just got out. But just a simple
Unknown:thing of wait five years, we are looking at starting just kind of
Unknown:a clothing line. And that's the name of like hats and shirts
Unknown:that just say wait five, and it's like, it's just it stabs
Unknown:right at the heart of impulsivity? Yeah, wait five
Unknown:minutes. You think you got it all figured out? Sit down, wait
Unknown:five and reevaluate. Because we're not day traders. We all
Unknown:have felonies, we can't be day traders. So you don't need to
Unknown:make you know, tactical financial decisions now within
Unknown:the next five minutes. Yeah, whatever you're worried about or
Unknown:stressed about moving on right now. It's probably going to be
Unknown:there in five minutes from now. Yeah. Yeah. And that just gives
Unknown:a different perspective. Yeah,
Unknown:no, totally and, and what comes to mind when when I listened to
Unknown:you is that you are not your impulsivity you are not your
Unknown:thoughts. Your thoughts are there. And you can observe them,
Unknown:but you don't have to act upon them. They are there and you can
Unknown:just let them float by and like you say, can't tell five,
Unknown:sometimes even 10 but but, you know, let it let it happen and
Unknown:don't act upon it. And we can all learn about it. Because look
Unknown:at the here. Traffic rage, road rage people wrote. They could
Unknown:totally Yeah, I can see them by by your T shirts, too. And I
Unknown:want one to please
Unknown:what they have the road rage is they have some of the best
Unknown:videos out on Tiktok road rage video so let's not completely
Unknown:you know, as long as no state laws are, you know, are broken.
Unknown:Oh, keep in mind it's not I am the worst one. So, you know,
Unknown:this is the I didn't this didn't come out of his beautiful mug
Unknown:didn't come out of the box like this. Everything that we say and
Unknown:everything that we try to be very casual with a very
Unknown:professional line. I am worse than anybody when it comes to
Unknown:impulsivity. And it's just an issue to where, if you know that
Unknown:there are still impulsive things or or what do they call it was
Unknown:the corniest thing I've ever heard stinking thinking,
Unknown:stinking Fang. So if you have any part of that in your head,
Unknown:yeah, what you need to do is surround yourself or make sure
Unknown:that you have a good environment with family, children, friends,
Unknown:co workers, whatever the case would be that do care and do
Unknown:kind of hold you accountable. And I think for all of us, Pat
Unknown:is definitely that polarizing member with us. Like I'd spoke
Unknown:to you before, Pat, I can't say enough about the guy. And a lot
Unknown:of times it's, it feels like you're telling your uncle or
Unknown:your dad something to where you feel like if you want to include
Unknown:them or haven't helped you with a problem. Sometimes you're
Unknown:free, like you're feeling like you're going to let him down, or
Unknown:he's going to be disappointed in you. And that's i i think that's
Unknown:very integral as well that I think that's very important.
Unknown:Yeah, because that means you still have a little bit of human
Unknown:blood pumping through your body, and you still have that
Unknown:connection to emotion and hurt and, you know, pride and
Unknown:everything, all the good stuff that comes with it.
Unknown:Yeah, no, absolutely. Very, very well said. We are running out of
Unknown:time here. Christ. This is crazy. Good. Okay, that's okay.
Unknown:Now, I also just want Yeah, no, go ahead. No, one thing I would
Unknown:just like to do is anybody that has any questions, we would like
Unknown:to, you know, obviously doing this but convict connection on
Unknown:Facebook, I don't know how we would like to kind of interface
Unknown:a website with it, I would like to do it only for validity
Unknown:reasons. But that is coming online, there's a bunch of
Unknown:things we're doing, I talked a little bit about an individual,
Unknown:a lady that we're working with, it's in her husband that are
Unknown:helping out, sending some funds in, we've actually expanded
Unknown:beyond that, and seeing if we can turn it in and get some
Unknown:follows and get some success and, and attention to this cause
Unknown:it would also allow us to really step up and help individuals
Unknown:stepping out where they don't have help. So if we can involve
Unknown:this, you know, throughout the United States and get
Unknown:incorporated with helping these individuals coming out, showing
Unknown:that they're doing their thing that also gives us a lot of data
Unknown:to be able to share with employers and state agencies and
Unknown:everything to give these guys kind of a little bit of a push
Unknown:once they get out into society, because I noticed that that is
Unknown:that would be something else that we would be able to help
Unknown:out. Because that's makes a lot of people stumble, that's
Unknown:hurdles that those aren't easy things to accomplish. And if you
Unknown:get a wrong answer, and things and so forth, you have to live
Unknown:with it. Or you don't have something happen for you right
Unknown:away, you have the frustration. Yeah, we can kind of help those
Unknown:people coming out. We know we know what it's like on the other
Unknown:side of the fence. And we know that when you do hit the
Unknown:streets, there's a reason like we feel like we've paid our debt
Unknown:to society, because it's consistently it's consistently
Unknown:living in a different environment. Yeah, nonstop from
Unknown:when you wake up to when you go to bed. So anything we can do to
Unknown:help kind of get them back to where they need to be. That's
Unknown:our that's our, that's our responsibility.
Unknown:Yeah, no, I see it the same way and I would feel so honored if I
Unknown:could be part of this. And helping out as much as I can to
Unknown:give people a platform where they can pour out their heart
Unknown:and tell us Hey, you guys are being rude. You guys are being
Unknown:so insensitive and like appealing to our compassion and
Unknown:empathy because we all need more of us.
Unknown:Absolutely, and you can't help what you don't know about it. So
Unknown:learning from us, like Like I said, you know, seeing the just
Unknown:the stories how it's absorbed. And eaten and how people just
Unknown:want more information on that. Because a lot of it, it's it's
Unknown:like Outer Space living, they don't know anything about it. So
Unknown:everything is fascinating to them. And if we can do that it
Unknown:will offer kind of nothing, but I just, you know, knowledge is
Unknown:power. All the old cliches are true, the more you know, the
Unknown:more powerful and the more empowered you feel. So you're
Unknown:absolutely a catalyst in that I appreciate everything that we've
Unknown:done together. And I know for a fact that there is definitely
Unknown:you're definitely a part of the puzzle, as far as what we need
Unknown:to do and help out and so forth. So I think I appreciate
Unknown:everything that you've done. And like I said, I look forward to
Unknown:working with you in the future. Hopefully, we can get some cases
Unknown:coming out and individuals that you can speak with as well. And
Unknown:other kinds of foundations and organizations that are on the
Unknown:same page as us.
Unknown:Yeah, no, I would love that so much. And yeah, we are connected
Unknown:now. I will make sure to give people the possibility to
Unknown:contact you if they have any questions, or they can contact
Unknown:me. And yeah, we go from here. first episode and this
Unknown:done? Absolutely. And we will be reflected just like on yours.
Unknown:Will we, you know, like will reflect you and advertise you on
Unknown:our, on our I think my like my parents says, we'll put you on
Unknown:the Facebook's with arms on our side. Yeah, facebook, facebook.
Unknown:Yeah. Well, I'll put on that in the Twitter chat. I'll put you
Unknown:on all
Unknown:that. Yeah, put me on that.
Unknown:Stamp, Twitter and face chat.
Unknown:Yeah. I love it so much. Thank you so much for your time,
Unknown:Kristen. That was lovely kickstart of our collaboration
Unknown:here.
Unknown:I appreciate it or be well.
Unknown:Well, thank you, everybody, for listening to this interview. It
Unknown:is dear to my heart, to have these conversations and to cut
Unknown:through people's prejudice. And to show people that it doesn't
Unknown:matter where you come from, you can create great things, you can
Unknown:have a mission that is life changing for people and for
Unknown:society. And I'm just Yeah, very blessed and feel very honored to
Unknown:be working with Kristian and Patrick in the future and to
Unknown:keep to keep this work up. Thank you so much for your support.
Unknown:Make sure that you're subscribed on Apple podcast, Spotify,
Unknown:Deezer, Stitcher, wherever you can find podcasts. And if you
Unknown:want to send me a tap on the shoulder, leave me a review on
Unknown:Apple podcasts. Thank you so much. I will be out there very
Unknown:soon. Again.