EP. 18 How ready are you for your dreams to come true ? [self-awareness]

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Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora, life coach and companion

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on this beautiful journey called life. Thank you so much for

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being here. It's been a while

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I had a family member in the hospital and ICU for four weeks,

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and it was very intense. So thank you for your patience.

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Thank you for being here. Most importantly, thank you for the

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people who request episodes who sent donations, or the ones who

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come out to the year and check out my physical location where I

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offer coaching and yoga, in the forest in a yard. It means the

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world to me to receive you, and to connect with you. And yeah, I

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hope I can bring value into your life and support your journey

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and be a little stepping stone when it comes to your growth and

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expansion and expression of yourself. I hope you feel good

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in your skin. I hope you have an exciting time ahead of you, I

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hope that you feel courageous and resilient and joyful. And if

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you don't feel that way, at the moment, if you feel, you know a

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little lost a little stuck, a little confused, or maybe

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frustrated, then I hope I can be of support.

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Hi, today I want to talk about your willingness to commit, I

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recorded an episode similar to this one, not too long ago. But

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I really want to emphasize how important it is for you to

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commit to something, be it yourself, and be it your career

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beard, your relationships.

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Be it a hobby, we need something that anchors us down. And even

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though you might be saying you are a wild card, you like to be

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uprooted and just traveling around and not committing to

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anything not feeling responsible for anything, then you are still

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committed to being free and independent. But to do that 100%

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And to, to fully, you know immerse yourself in that journey

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is so incredibly important. Because what I keep seeing what

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I keep meeting when I do my coachings is that I have people

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with dreams with aspirations, with a strong readiness to

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embrace change.

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But also, there is a huge resistance to novelty and

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uncertainty and committing to one path.

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And that makes it very difficult. Because if you do not

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want to commit

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to that one path, then you will lose energy along the way and

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get frustrated if you do not reach your goal. So let's take

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an example here of a lady who is so frustrated that she is still

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single, she's in her 50s She comes to my coaching because she

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wants to get to know herself better. And she wants to find

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the partner of her dreams.

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And she pours her heart out, we go through the life wheel and

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discover where else she wants to grow. And we engage on a

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coaching journey and I share everything with her that I know

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can really help you in finding your dream partner. And we start

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by by exploring who she is, what do you want?

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And that's where it starts becoming difficult already

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because she doesn't know what she wants. And she doesn't know

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who she is. So for her to commit to getting to know herself and

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to finding out what is it that she needs. What is it that she

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needs to communicate in terms of boundaries? What is it that she

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wants from a relationship has to be so rock solid it has to be so

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when I asked her and I a couple of weeks down the road

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She has to come with that answer. Like within seconds, if

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she doesn't know who she is and what she wants, of course, she's

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not going to meet a person out there who is a match. Right? So

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for her to explore and be curious and be a little

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detective to find out who she is, she needs to commit to that

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path. Now in her past as a child, in her family dynamic,

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she was always communicated to or she always made conclusions

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about her self worth, that she is not deserving of attention.

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Yeah, in her family was communicated. If you focus on

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yourself, especially on self care, on Hobbies, that don't

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serve the world in any way, but are just there to, you know, be

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enjoyed, then you are selfish. So, with this belief system, she

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now walks into adulthood, and is frustrated because she doesn't

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know who you are, who she is, and she doesn't know what she

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wants, because an underlying belief keeps telling her that

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she is not worthy of committing to herself and finding out who

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she is. So it is two competing energies that are fighting

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inside of her. And of course, me as a coach, I cannot see it from

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the outside until she tells me what her childhood was like. And

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if her childhood was like she described, I will know, as a

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coach that we first have to work on these underlying beliefs of

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deep worth less Ness. Because all the other tips and tricks

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will not have

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a pull on her journey. So to say, if she still believes that

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she is not worthy of a partner, right, I can give her all the

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tools. For example, saying hey, you need to make space for your

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partner, you need to actually pretend as if your partner of

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your dreams was in your life already, you have to make space,

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you have to make time, you have to be curious about another

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person's needs and wants. And if you are still stuck in, your

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needs are not being met, and you want to have your cup filled

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first, no partner will engage with you. Right? You cannot

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start a relationship by saying hey, you gotta you gotta fix me

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now. And I'm giving, you know, to my parents, maybe to my

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children to my job, I'm always there for everybody. But now you

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got to fill my cup, that doesn't work like that. Nobody's gonna,

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nobody's gonna engage. And if they would it be a very toxic

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dynamic, that you initiate it.

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So for you to commit to a path of self discovery, to find out

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who you are, and to find out what you need, what is it that

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you want from your job? What is it that you want from your

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relationships? That alone will take up so much time and energy

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that I usually don't understand when people say, Yeah, well,

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I'll get to it once my partner, my new partner is in my life,

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that's not how it's gonna work. You got to do the work before

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you got to do the work before you apply for that job. Because

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otherwise your nervous system is not ready. Right? If I was to

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ask you, what is your biggest dream that you want fulfilled?

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And you would tell me I want a million bucks.

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And I tell you, within five minutes here is a million bucks.

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If you haven't done the work to feel worthy if you don't know

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what you're gonna do with that money. If your mindset regarding

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money is money as bad money as dirty, money doesn't grow on

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trees.

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What's going to happen with that million bucks that I just gave

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to you, you're going to somehow lose it is going to run through

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your fingers. And subconsciously, you're going to

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make sure that you get rid of it real quick, because you were not

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working on your readiness before. Same goes with a dream

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partner.

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If I was to tell you, your dream partner is about to come here in

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the next 15 minutes and then you'll be happily ever ever

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after. If you're not

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Nervous System. If your whole physic your your brain, your

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mind is not geared towards being in a committed relationship

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right now, in the next 15 minutes,

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you will either scare your future partner way you will

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reject it, you will not trust him or her, you will, in some

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way or another, manipulate yourself out of that situation,

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because you don't feel deserving you don't feel ready. And this

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is why I keep telling people, you don't want your dream to be

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fulfilled before you're ready. Because you would mess it up.

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Trust me, I'm an expert, and that I had so many dreams, and

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all my dreams come true. But I never had worked on my

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readiness. So whenever that person that sing, that Job was

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right in front of me, I started sweating and ran away.

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And I don't want that to happen to you, I want you to be so

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aware that you need to commit to your readiness in order to have

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your dream come true. But first and foremost, in order for you

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to embrace that change that new reality, that dream of yours.

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And be careful right now I'm just talking about the positive

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outcomes, right. But same goes for if you you know have desires

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and dreams, and they keep not being fulfilled. First you work

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on your readiness, and then you work on. If it doesn't work out,

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I'm not going to be overly attached to an outcome, I'm

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going to stay open. I know myself now so well, that if it

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doesn't work out, I'm not going to panic, I'm not going to, you

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know, lose my everything over this because I'm so rock solid

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on who I am. So, readiness for positive outcome for when your

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dream prince or princess is right, you know right there

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standing in front of you. But also readiness for when things

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don't work out the way we want to. And sometimes it's for the

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better. But if you keep thinking that it is a failure, that

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you're not deserving of that dream, and this is why it's not

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happening, then you close yourself up to something that

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might be even better than what you had dreamed up. Okay. So I'm

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going to leave you with that. Work on your readiness. Reach

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out to me and and share with me what it is that you're working

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on right now. I'm so incredibly curious. I want to know how you

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ready yourself for your dream for your aspirations. And then

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we'll go from there. I'll send you so much love. And like I

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said in the beginning if ever you feel like engaging in a

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journey together or if you want to take out the yard for some

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relaxation classes or for some in person coaching, shoot me a

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message and I'd be happy to receive. All right, take really

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good care of yourself. And I'd be out there very soon again