Ep. 17 How to be less nervous [self-care, self-awareness]

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Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora, life coach and companion

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on this beautiful journey called life. I'm so happy to be

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spending some moments with you today. And so proud of you, you

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can be so proud of yourself for making the time to rest and

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recharge and deeply connect to yourself. The mission of this

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podcast is to provide you with a space where you feel safe,

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understood and supported. Also know that you can always reach

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out to me and request episodes. And as I said at the beginning,

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I'm a life coach. So I offer specific programs for people who

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want to live a more content life, a life more true to

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themselves. Also, if you have a minute, please review my podcast

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on Apple podcasts, it means so much in the podcast world to

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have people express what they feel and what they received and

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the feedback about a podcast for other people to find out if this

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is something for them. And I want to reach out to as many

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people as possible as bashley. Now after the pandemic, there's

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a lot of people struggling with anxiety, mental health,

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depression, and I just want to be of support to whoever needs

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an embrace support of this sword. Today I want to talk

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about nervousness. Last episode was about anxiety, how to feel

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less anxious. And today, we will hear the quad of my grandma in

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the background. And I will be talking about how to feel less

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nervous, which is pretty much in alignment for part two of last

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episode. I want you to know that you have all the tools, all the

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resources that you need in order to feel confident in order to be

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successful and content in life. And also when it comes to

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anxiety and self doubt, insomnia, like all these things

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that come up at times that make us feel as if we're not moving

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forward, we're not growing, we keep falling back to anxiety we

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feel falling back into depression. And yeah, we feel

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like we're not making any progress at all, please know

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that growth and moving forward doesn't happen in a linear way.

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It's not an ongoing process. Sometimes you got to stop and

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have a break and recuperate. Reflect. Sometimes you have to

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think about a new paths because maybe you're not on the perfect

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path that is right for you. So imagine growth like an upward

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spiral. And you're slowly working your way up. And on your

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path on this spiraling path you will encounter the things the

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feelings, the habits, the situation that you are trying to

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liberate yourself from. And I want you to see those as little

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obstacles, but more as tests. If you learn to shift your mindset

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that a little setback, falling back into the self self pattern,

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again that you want to get rid of so desperately shift your

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mindset and see it as a test instead of a setback instead of

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you simply not moving forward. And you will see that every time

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you encounter a test.

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You will have a different mindset you will have a

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different experience and slowly but surely every time you're

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going to meet that test You're gonna do better, you're gonna be

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more confident and you're gonna be able to cut through your own

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bullshit in order through to gracefully navigate through your

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little obstacles that you keep encountering. So let's talk

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about nervousness today. I always love to see anxiety and

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nervousness, as something good. It serves a purpose clearly. And

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maybe it doesn't serve a purpose today anymore, but it did at

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some point in your life, something happened to you got

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disappointed, you got hurt, you got traumatized. And this

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anxiety now is there to protect you from future pain and

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distress. What you can learn in the present moment is to kind of

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detach from that anxiety and nervousness. And imagine putting

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it outside of yourself. So let's, for instance, put it in

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your left hand, your palm is facing up to the sky, and you

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put your anxiety your nervousness into your hand. Of

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course, if you're a super rational, logical person, now

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you will feel challenged, you will tell me Aurora, I can't see

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my anxiety be put into my hand. But then I, I want to ask you,

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please pretend, just pretend that you could take your anxiety

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out of your body, because it is most of the time a strong

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physical sensation, and thoughts that come up and put it in a

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little box and put this box into your hand. And now we want to

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ask it, what is your purpose? What are you trying to protect

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me from. And if you picture yourself in a situation now

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where anxiety nervousness comes up, but you actually don't need

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that anxiety and nervous isn't anymore, because you are in a

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safe place, now you are further on your path in life, away from

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the traumatizing event from back then where you needed the

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anxiety and the nervousness. And you actually find out without

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this nervousness, I'm actually very good. I feel safe. Yes, I

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have a person sitting in front of me that I don't know. I'm in

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a situation that is new to me. But I'm actually learning I love

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the challenge. I'm going to grow, I'm going to feel more

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confident, if I decide to sit through the situation now. Then

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if I was to give into my anxiety, my nervousness, and

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just falter and kind of deflate, like, like a balloon. So the

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little exercise here is to detach from your anxiety. And

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with your conscious mind, ask yourself, do you actively need

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it? Or can you slowly let go of your nervousness? The second

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exercise I want to share with you today is to coming back to

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your breath. Most of the time, if not all of the time. If you

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feel anxious, chances are you have what if thoughts, worst

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case scenario, thought disastrous thoughts. Because

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this is what your mind is designed to do. It is designed

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to protect you. But sometimes it is trying to protect you from

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things that are not really you know, dangerous, that are not a

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threat. They were maybe when you were two years old, but now

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you're not two years old anymore. Now you can make a

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conscious choice of if you feeling safe or not. And if you

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don't feel safe, get the heck out of the situation. But if

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not, ask your anxiety, your nervousness, to turn the volume

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down and tell yourself that you are in a good position now

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you're safe. So if your anxiety brings you into these what ifs

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thoughts, disastrous thoughts,

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then you're not being in the present moment. You are out

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there somewhere and people probably can notice that too.

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That yes, you sit in front of them. You answer to their

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question, you make the random AHA Yes. I understand. But they

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can feel that you're not present because your nervousness, your

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anxiety, is at the steering wheel. Now, if you come back to

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your breath, come back to the present moment. See what you see

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in the moment, right in front of you. Hear what you hear, in the

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moment, right around you. Feel the chair and turn underneath

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your buttocks. Feel your feet touching the ground, feel your

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hand, gripping a pen, holding a cup of glass, a cup of water,

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sorry, or laying comfortably. on a on a table, maybe your hand,

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your forearm is resting on a table. So this is something that

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you can do on a regular basis. When you feel your mind is

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getting ahead of you. You're getting anxious, nervous,

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just come back to your breath. Deep inhale. And then exhale.

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And feel what you feel. See what you see, hear what you hear be

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in

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the present moment. Your breath is also one of the most powerful

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tools because it is something that you can control. And it is

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something that runs unconsciously in the background

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without you having to control it. So if you take your

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heartbeat, for instance, that's something that you can influence

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by exercising, or getting nervous or being super calm. But

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you can't control your heartbeat, your breath, you can

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control. And your breath is your deepest connector between your

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mind and your body. And as you learned in the first season of

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my podcast, and if you haven't gone through the first season of

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this podcast, I encourage you to do this because there's a build

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up in connecting with yourself. There's a buildup, you have to

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start with your body first. So go back to season one and go

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through my episodes there and learn about your body. Learn how

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important your breath is and how important it is to stay

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connected to yourself at all times, especially if you want to

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grow out of habits that are not good for you anymore. If you

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want to get out of relationships that are not good anymore. If

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you want to attract people that are good for you, you have to

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know yourself first. And it starts with your body. So coming

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back to your breath, your breath is your strongest tool.

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Especially when you're anxious, especially when you get nervous

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around people to come back to yourself and to calm your

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nervous system down. The more steady and calm your nervous

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system is, the more clear and in a healthy way your mind can

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serve you. If you put your body into a state of stress with

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shallow breathing and holding your breath, which is what we do

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when we are anxious, then it's a vicious cycle because then your

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mind is not able to think clearly because you put your

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mind and your body into survival mode. Now doing this backwards,

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you have deep breathing you have connecting your senses to the

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present moment. And I promise you that you can get your

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anxiety levels down and your confidence muscle flexed without

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too much effort. All right, I'm gonna leave you with this.

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Please share with people you care. Please share if I was able

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to bring you value and you just want to help other people to

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feel less anxious if you're not an anxious person. Sorry, but

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you know people who struggle with anxiety and nervousness

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then do them a favor, be a good friend and share around. Thank

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you so much for being here. I appreciate you so much. I'm so

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happy to connect with you on You keep basis if not on a daily

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basis. You're amazing and I'm very proud to be able to serve

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you. Until next time,