Ep. 14 When spending time with yourself is uncomfortable ?? [self-awareness]

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Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience.

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And I'm very happy to be spending some time with you

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today. I hope you're doing well.

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I hope life is light and easy flowing.

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If it is difficult, complicated, harsh.

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Really bad.

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At the moment,

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I hope I can give you energy. I hope I can give you hope. I hope

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I can give you tools to help you get to know yourself better to

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recharge your batteries.

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The better you know yourself, the better decisions you're

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going to make. The stronger, healthier boundaries, you're

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going to set.

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It's really important. It's something that I'm still

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learning, still learning to say? No. When in the past I said yes.

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To please or appease somebody.

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Sometimes a no is way healthier for you than a yes, was

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compromises. There's no doubt about it right?

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Today's episode, I will label say yes to yourself, and no to

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compromises.

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And season one and two and even three, I think I talk a lot

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about

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self care and how you can better take care of yourself and the

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importance of alone time.

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And in season five here, I want to

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emphasize the importance of alone time. One more time.

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It is so critical that you spend time with yourself.

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And that you know that spending alone time spending time with

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yourself doesn't mean

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to watch TV on your own or to go to the bar and drink by yourself

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or to binge eat.

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alone time. For me what I'm learning right now with a coach

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can be a time where you process

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where you process feelings and thoughts where you brainstorm.

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alone time can also mean being present fully present with what

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is.

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And if you can imagine going for walks I really encourage you to

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going for walks, little walks every day, just a couple

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minutes, just 15 minutes to start out. And to be fully

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present with your environment.

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You can set an intention for every walk. But presence is

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something really magical. You don't have your phone yet don't

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have a podcast running in the background, not even mine. It is

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just you walking around the neighborhood. Of course not

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putting yourself in any danger

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and being present with what happens around you.

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All too often, we rushed from A to B and tried to do 20,000

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things at a time

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where we could actually relax and reconnect to ourselves.

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I find it also helps with feeling less lonely feeling more

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connected.

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The more connected you feel to yourself.

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The more connected you feel to your surroundings. And that's

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really fascinating to observe. The better you feel with

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yourself.

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The better you will feel with people the more accepting you

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are with yourself. The more accepting you're going to be

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with other people, you know, people who are very judgmental

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perfectionist.

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They usually very very harsh on themselves.

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And on others, they accept the same from others that they

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accept from themselves.

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And the standard is usually way too high, and not easy to

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maintain for others outside of your bubble.

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So these walks that I encourage you to do several times a week

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can really help you to reconnect to yourself to reconnect with

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your environment, and to be there in the moment. And if you

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have your mind, your monkey mind, your beautiful little

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monkey mind that always wants to be busy creeping up on you, and

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coming up with to do lists, brainstorming, processing of

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arguments of conversations that might happen in the future

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of conversations that happened in the past,

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then you can just learn to turn the volume down, and to let it

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sit in a corner for a little bit. And then tune back into

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your breath, and to what is happening around you. Maybe

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there's people walking around,

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very busily, maybe there's children playing, maybe there's

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cars driving by or bicycles. Maybe you walk in the park or in

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the forest, and you notice trees and plants and animals.

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And it's funny because while I describe this silent walk or

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quality, alone time walk to you.

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I feel very relaxed already.

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Maybe you observed somebody

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in the past who in a waiting line was not looking down on his

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or her phone, who was just looking at you and smiling and

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saying hello, who was engaging in a conversation with the

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cashier, or with the person sitting next to him or her on

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the bus.

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I feel

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we use our phones, for very important things. Don't get me

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wrong. I love my phone. I love the internet. I love Facebook,

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everything about it.

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But there comes a point where we forget to interact and connect

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with our direct environment.

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And sometimes people start nagging and being upset with you

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because they don't know how else to make you stop and connect

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with them. Sometimes, an accident happens or you trip or

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you hurt yourself because you are not fully present. Sometimes

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we lose things like wallets or keys or lipsticks or bubble

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gums. Because when we put them away the last time we were not

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aware we were not mindful, we were not consciously putting it

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away. We just put it somewhere. But it had something else in

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mind.

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So when you go on these walks, without your phone without any

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music,

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and really connect to your environment.

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It might make you feel very grounded and very good about

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yourself.

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It might also bring up stuff that you have been running away

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from in a long time and this is why you avoid spending a long

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time

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without distractions.

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But this is very important.

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It is very important to notice and to observe and to feel and

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then to go deeper and to resolve at a later stage.

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But to see

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in observing your thoughts and your feelings, how you really

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are doing

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without compensation without distraction.

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It is critical.

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All too often we run around and

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you know we're not feeling 100% Awesome. We call a friend we

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call our parents and we unload our stuff and they can help us

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to some degree.

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And then we go back to our place and same old stuff again.

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Sometimes they might not even be available and then you blame it

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on them why you're not feeling better.

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This little practice here that I'm sharing you with you today

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is going to help you to be more self fulfilling

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isn't sufficient sorry.

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Of course you call a friend when you're not feeling good, of

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course you call your parents or guardians or whoever you'd like

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to talk to when you're not feeling well.

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But I want to give you these tools for you

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to know that you can also help yourself.

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You can only be there for you so much.

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When you have a very distracted life and compensation,

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allow some time to yourself, allow some time of no

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distraction.

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And you will see that you will maybe even sleep better, make

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better food choices.

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Be more content in life, in general, more confident.

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It is really important to take time to yourself, in between

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meeting friends and between work and meeting up with your

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partner.

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And your partner will feel inspired. And maybe also start a

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self

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empowering journey. And it can improve relationships so

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drastically. The better you feel about yourself, the more content

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you're with yourself, the

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better partner you can be.

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Thank you so much for listening.

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If you have subscribed, thank you so much from the bottom of

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my heart. I appreciate you so much for being here. And

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if you have any requests for episode, never hesitate to

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don't have to.

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say thank you so much for listening. I will be out there

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very soon again. Bye