Ep.13 Suppressed masculinity and how to bridge the gap between men and women interview w/ Adrian Moy

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Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

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your host Aurora. And I'm very excited to have Adrian Moy with

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me today, a man that I met over Facebook and we started

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chatting, and we had an intro conversation the other day. And

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I just had this awesome feeling that he could bring lots of

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value to our audience here today. He is a spiritual guide.

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He's a healer. He's a person that when you talk to him, and

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he looks into your eyes, he looks into your soul and cracks

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open your heart. And you know that there is no mask wearing

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needed, you can be yourself. And you can, yeah, communicate

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what's going on, and you and He will help you on your path to

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feel more like yourself and to feel more empowered, and maybe

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even to find your purpose here on planet Earth. Welcome, Adrian

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McCoy. I'm so happy to connect with me here. And yeah, thank

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you so much for making the time. I'm very excited to talk about

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suppressed masculinity with you today and how we can help men to

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tap into healthy masculinity again,

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thank you for being here. And for maybe give us a little

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introduction on how you came about your mission and your

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purpose. Because sometimes I feel we have to find it. We

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don't know it right away when we're born, we kind of have to

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UNdeC our purpose.

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Hello, Aurora. And thank you for having me here with you on your

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platform. I'm very honored.

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Hello, everyone listening. Thank you for taking the time to share

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in this energy code, this journey that we are all on

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together, it is very important for us. And yeah, it's

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a little intro to how I found myself with this drive this

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message to share with people

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to be very quick. My life was like everyone else's.

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I grew up normal, normal family, I saw throughout my history, I

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had different. I was very curious. I was very explorative.

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I love discovering new. It was like some innate passion within

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me that always drove. And so I was the kid in school, and then

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family gathering, I wanted to learn every nook and cranny

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about everything that I could. And so in that

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curiosity, I started noticing when people weren't as curious

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with me and didn't want to explore and discover all the

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nooks and crannies and the depths of why people do what

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they do, why they respond, the way they respond, why they act,

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the way they act and why they shape their lives the way they

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do. That reflection back to me gave me insight into what people

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were doing with their time we're paying attention to, and we're

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focusing on. And so it was like I was sitting back watching

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psychological dance amongst all the people like I was watching a

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play. And so when I realized not many people wanted to be there

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with me in the self discovery, I took a seat and watched it

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unfold and let it explain itself to in that place. It's like Neo

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in the Matrix, I started seeing the code of how people interplay

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with each other. And for my own self discovery, I also paid

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attention to the things that I valued, and I loved and I wanted

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in life. And so of course, I'm gonna want to cultivate these

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things in my life. In my desire, and my

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adventure of discovering these things for myself, I found there

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was much resistance to it, not on my part, I did have to learn

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my audience and know how to discover my own self boundaries,

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and learn to pay respects to other people's boundaries. But I

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also noticed how much people didn't pay respect to their own

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self boundaries. And there again, I am now sitting in the

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audience watching the story play out, and now I'm paying

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attention back again to why people let their boundaries get

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crossed. And then so for me in this mindset of curiosity,

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discovery and exploration, I asked myself

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But where does that come from? Where does that stem from? What

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is the root of this, let's go right to the core history, and

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how that became the active dynamic, whether people were

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aware of it or not, or if they were, and why they settled in

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the place that they were at. And that is where I got great

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insight, and help me navigate my own experience to the

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interactions between the male and the female. And then so

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before I go further into my insight and perspective on that,

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was that a fair intro to how I got here with you today?

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Oh, yes, like, exceeded my expectations. That's

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Wow. So very observant child and very intelligent and sharp child

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and, and noticing what's going on and yeah, describing it, like

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I feel

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I see, right now happening, like the huge gap between men and

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women, lots of tension, lots of mixed messages.

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Not so of suppressed emotions, lots of fear. And

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this is why I, I'm Yeah, so incredibly excited to have you

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talk about this, because I feel you can help us understand why

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men would suppress their feelings so much, and how they

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can

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communicate more openly without fear of rejection and how women

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can receive, I feel I want to hear from you. Like both

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how women, you know, sometimes are a little bit too controlling

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or too anxious, or too aggressive, sometimes passive

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aggressive, and how we can help and heal

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as the feminine part.

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Right. So

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our topic today is about Will you remind me, the specific

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title or the overall broad, one statement, designation title for

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this tongue, it would be suppressed masculinity, and how

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we can heal as a group, how we can help men to

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express themselves again, and to feel safe again, because I feel

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suppression happens when we don't feel safe.

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Thank you. And the reason that I asked for that description from

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you, as far as the title of our topic today was just to kind of

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recharge myself on my focus. So may I begin? Yes, please. Thank

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you.

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We're discussing this from the standpoint of the men. But as

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you suggested, yes, it is very wise for us to bring up the

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points from both sides of this polarity.

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As above, so below,

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we live in a dualistic reality, light and dark, hot and cold.

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They're all they're in tandem with each other, for a purpose.

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We have masculine we have feminine. Now, when we first

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discussed this topic with each other in our introduction

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meeting, we talked about the easel the the importance of

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breaking down the gender association to the nature of our

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human state. So in society, men will be designated as tough and

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protector and warrior and thick skinned and their job is to

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protect the herd and be the provider and then women in our

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society are commonly the nurturer, gentle, the receptive

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those definitely our core resignations of both the

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masculine and the feminine, but it's not to say those same

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qualities are not within both men and women equal. I am an

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extreme nurturer. As a father, I'm very gentle. I am very

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loving. I am very even fragile. As a woman, a woman is a

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warrior. A woman is a protector. A woman is a provider. She will

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safeguard the home in her own feminine way, and the man can

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also nurture and love and cultivate as a creator.

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The Home and the environment and the relationship. And so it's

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good to just point out that our human state, our pure human

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state, is we are all of these things each and every one of us

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not to put a gender Association on. And that's one of the

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greatest predominant illusions that have been coming into our

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society from our history, that men will be considered weak, or

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a weak link, or authentic, or they should be ashamed of

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themselves. If they're having these feminine traits, you're

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gonna cry, men don't cry, you're going to be vulnerable, men

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aren't vulnerable, men have to be iron, and solid. And so that

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just gets ingrained into the male psyche. And then again, the

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topic of how women get raised and how they're supposed to be.

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And then if a woman is tough, and strong, and independent, and

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powerful, and, and by powerful, I mean, like, she is confident,

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and she knows herself, they would call her tomboy, or even

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go as far as to say, she's some type of a lesbian or something

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like those have nothing to do with the gender identities,

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those are the true power of the totality of all of our human

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state. So now going back to the men, and the main point topic of

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our discussion today, the history of men, because of this

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illusionary

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ideology, this this role that we have told ourselves, we had to

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be could have come from a primal state, you know, if men were the

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physically muscular, stronger species, they were the ones that

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were sent to go out into the wilderness and defend off the

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wild wolves or, you know, something of that nature. But,

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you know, irrelevant to where it came from, you look at present

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day to now in average Cultural Society across the world. And

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this is not just my own experience, this has been in

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conversation with many people. And as well as all of the

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studies that I have done for all of my course training, men don't

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show their vulnerable side, men are not open with their

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emotions, because they're just not raised that way. They're not

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raised that way by their fathers and their fathers are not raised

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by their fathers. And so when you're in the Family Circle, as

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you're growing up, you don't receive access to this side of

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your masculinity, by your masculine role models, you don't

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get it from your uncle, you don't get it from your masculine

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male neighbor, you don't get it from random men, when you're

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walking down the street, and or at the grocery store, you don't

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get it from your grandfather, you don't get it from your

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father, I do want to take a moment to pause and say, just to

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note, this may not be true for every so for any listeners who

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are hearing this and say, Well, I didn't grow up that way, I

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grew up with a very nurturing, loving, soft, gentle,

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vulnerable, open father. And I grew up with a mother who

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nurtured his greatness and beauty and did not see him as a

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sad, weak, emotional, feminine, not true, pure masculine. And

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those two together, raise this child with true beauty. Because

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that's available in this world that has happened in this world.

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I did not come from that world. But now that I know these

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things, I'm cultivating that within myself, for me and my

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family. So I just wanted to note that any listener, I'm not going

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to blanket the statement and say everybody is subject to these

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things, but predominantly in the world that we live in. That is

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the commonality that we are addressing today. So we can

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usher in the new and the new is actually not new, the new has

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already been we've just fortified and rehearsed

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ourselves down a path that is no longer serving us, which is very

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clear. It is unhealthy. And we're trying to move through

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with this medicine. This medicine is the energy and the

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connection that you and I are sharing today. And this medicine

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we are granting to all of your listeners and everybody who goes

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further and beyond us. So back to the topic. Men are raised to

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be emotionally constipated. And I use that phrase because I saw

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it in some movie, but it just makes perfect sense. They're not

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taught to get in touch with their emotions. They're just not

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they're suppressed them. And so they don't know what to do with

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their emotions. When boys grow up, boys grow up to be

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combative, and competitive and see each other as competition

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and that's where they get their validation from each other. If

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you win a trophy, then you're good. If you can wrestle, then

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you're good if you can exhibit your strength, with the way

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women get raise.

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They're close. They're expressive. They're intimate,

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they hug, they touch. They play with each other's hair, they

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paint their toenails. Men don't do that. Men don't get that

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affection and that nurture

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mean and that intimacy from their male role models are from

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the other males around them. Women get that from other women

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all the time. And that's seen societally as perfectly fine.

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But the minute a man shows up for a young boy in any intimate

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encounter or affection encounter, and this doesn't have

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to do with touch, but it can do with touch. It's conceived as

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either pedophile yak or gay network, a homophobic fear comes

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into play. And that's where those fears come in. And so,

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wherever this stemmed from men, as fathers and parents and

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uncles and grandparents shy away from their heart feelings toward

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the younger male generation, and so as time progresses, the young

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males grow up, not knowing what beautiful healthy male affection

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looks like, what does beautiful healthy male touch look at it

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being seen as sexual? Of course it can. If a man is holed or

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let's say he's rubbing his son's chest for therapy, or rubbing

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his arm or hugging or nuzzling his face into his shoulder, if a

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man does that was his daughter, I see that there was a certain

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point where some people are like, ooh, that touch is a

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little creepy. Now, if that was never that fathers intent, it is

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other people that will project that out there. And then with

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that projection, whether the daughter or the father even are

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thinking about it, they'll feel other people's projections, and

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then they'll start second guessing themselves. And so

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these projections come into our lives. And they affect our true

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pure, beautiful, healthy nature with each other, our nurturing

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our affection. Now, we also need to address the point of why

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those fears are even there. Because those predatorial or

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pedophilia, or sexual lusting encounters have happened in our

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world, women have been raped and molested, and physically and

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sexually abused by men in their life, whether it was from a

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stranger, or a neighbor, or a father, or an uncle, or a

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grandfather, those things have happened. I believe those things

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have happened because those have come from men who didn't even

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understand their own desires, and had no idea what they were

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doing with their own loss or anything not to excuse them for

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what they did. There is no excuse. But I'm only

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acknowledging why it happened. Because they came from a lineage

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of not knowing what to do with their passion, with their

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energy, with what drew them toward the energy of those

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women. Women, in my perspective, hold the power of love. Now, men

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do too, but it's on a different energetic level, there we tap

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into the masculine and the feminine. So a woman is the

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womb, she is the living embodiment of creation of life,

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she has the generation of her body to produce life, life is

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love. She is a conduit, a producer, a factory of the

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energy code of love, that's going to draw men to her. But

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men who do not know these things will get drawn to the feminine

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energy that they feel from the woman. And if they're not in

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tune with their own cells, they will express it in these other

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horrible manners, they will turn it into lust, they will turn

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that energetic resignation toward the feminine love energy

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from a very unhealthy, unaware, uneducated manner, because they

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know not what they do. Because they were never raised to get in

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tune with. Why is this energy that I'm feeling toward the

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woman? Why is this attraction that I'm feeling toward the

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woman? What is the beauty that I see with her, and then without

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that knowledge, they go unchecked, and then it turns

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into abuse? It turns into, I want a thing from you. And a lot

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of times in our world, we also have been in the practice of

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taking what we want, instead of offering someone to receive what

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we're looking for. And this is a huge epidemic greater than coke.

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This has been our human history that has not been addressed. And

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so I'm very happy that we're addressing it to this day. So

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how do we help men find the way? How do we help men get in tune

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with what they're feeling? We're going to give them some soul

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pineapple juice, and that's going to help them on constipate

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their emotions and learn to get in touch with their emotions.

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And in order to do that you have to go into your past to find out

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how you were raised. What were you shown was acceptable, non

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threatening, affectionate touch. I believe in one of your videos

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you talked about boundaries

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theories and how a child is supposed to compromise

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themselves when the aunt wants to come and give, and then the

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family members say, No, Johnny, you have to let Auntie give you

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a kiss because she's your aunt. And she has that right? Well, we

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just taught Johnny to compromise. We just taught

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Johnny not to listen to what feels comfortable for him. And

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we do this to each other. And so men and the male species who are

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raised not to touch women, that it's bad not to look at a

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woman's breasts or her figure or be curious about what her vagina

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looks like. It's taboo, you don't do that that is sinful. So

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you repress men from even being curious about it, to the point

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where they should be ashamed about it. Now, they have no

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knowledge of this. What in turn that does to the woman is when

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the woman has been raised, she doesn't know how to empower

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herself to know what safe

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engagement is with men, because she's been denied that

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interaction. She's no longer even receiving it. So now you

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have boys that are being raised young men who are being raised,

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that are taught not to think about women in an attractive

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man, you know, like I like to say, looking at her feet,

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features in her face in her eyes, and her hair and her whole

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everything, her movement and her representation. It's the same as

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looking at an eagle soaring through the sky, or a tiger

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galloping through the jungle with grace and ease. They're

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beautiful things. Why are we teaching ourselves not to look

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at things that we find beautiful.

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So we're raised that way. And men don't know how to approach

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women, and women don't know how to be approached by men. And

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then you fast forward onto the playground at school. And men do

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what they do to women, what they are taught to do with boys, they

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hit, they slap, they pull on bra strings, they pull hair, that's

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what they are taught, and women are like you, why are you doing

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that? To me, I don't like that. Because the boy doesn't know any

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better. He does not know how women like to be approached, he

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doesn't know what's healthy. And women don't know how to tell

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boys, what's healthy, because they are never taught or

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empowered as a young girl, what affectionate touch is from the

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masculine? And how to empower the female, so to know what is

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good for her? And how would she know because Uncle Johnny gets

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to give you a hug because he's Uncle Johnny. So he has that

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right. And now she's compromising herself. And if

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she's not receiving affectionate, consensual touch

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from her father, or from her uncle, or from her grandfather,

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she has no idea what that even feels like for herself. So how

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can she tell someone what she wants, and what she feels good

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with, when she doesn't even know herself? It's a foreign world.

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Now we're gonna go further into high school. Now the hormones

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are kicking. Now the chemistry is changing. Now, it's not

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turning into just attention from the opposite sex, or

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companionship from the opposite sex or curiosity about the

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opposite sets. Now it's turning into a desire for the opposite

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sex. Now, boys and women start paying attention to the smell of

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each other's pheromones, and the power of their eye gaze. And the

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illustrious sensation from when their skin happens to graze upon

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each other. Now it's doing something internally with them.

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And now they're very curious. And now they're going to start

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going against the grain of what they were told was taboo,

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because there's that gravity there, there's that human nature

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was in essence says no, this is supposed to be available for

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you. You've been denied it by your predecessors, but your

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curiosity will always win the day, as we know high school

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works. That's how it is. So in high school, kids will find ways

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to explore their world if they have to lie to mom and dad about

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where they're going. Or if they find little pockets in their

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day, some time on the schoolyard where they can hide under the

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bleachers, or go in the bathroom. And then when you put

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them in this environment, and they do not have a healthy

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educated awareness of what is appropriate and available and

Unknown: 00:24:03

beneficial for the masculine and the feminine energy to

Unknown: 00:24:08

communicate with each other without crossing each other's

Unknown: 00:24:10

boundaries. What you're left with is men overstepping their

Unknown: 00:24:14

boundaries, and women letting their boundaries get overstep,

Unknown: 00:24:17

and none of them know the wiser. Now women are being taught, this

Unknown: 00:24:21

is how men will interact with me. And now the men are being

Unknown: 00:24:24

shown by these women allowing it to happen. This is how I

Unknown: 00:24:28

approach women and this is what they're allowing to happen to

Unknown: 00:24:31

them. And so then the man gets his way, the woman thinks that

Unknown: 00:24:35

is the way to let the man get his way. Because she is

Unknown: 00:24:37

attracted to him, and she wants to keep him in her life. She

Unknown: 00:24:41

wants to nourish it. And so she will allow herself to compromise

Unknown: 00:24:44

her boundaries, because she still desires to have attention

Unknown: 00:24:47

from him. And so her value on his attention is greater than

Unknown: 00:24:51

her value on her own self worth. But she doesn't even know she's

Unknown: 00:24:56

doing. Now we're going to fast forward through college.

Unknown: 00:25:00

And now you're in college and you're living away from your

Unknown: 00:25:02

parents. Now you started having the freedom to craft your

Unknown: 00:25:06

schedule, now you're dating more than you were in high school,

Unknown: 00:25:10

you may even have your own apartment, you may even start

Unknown: 00:25:12

seeing a man, but they're still stumbling around in the dark,

Unknown: 00:25:16

with that old habitual pattern of this is what men get to do to

Unknown: 00:25:21

women. And this is what women should allow men to do to them,

Unknown: 00:25:24

because they want to keep the attention. They want to keep the

Unknown: 00:25:27

relationship, but they're not discovering where their values

Unknown: 00:25:30

lie, and where they're compromising themselves, even in

Unknown: 00:25:33

relationships, who are still approaching their woman with the

Unknown: 00:25:36

right to their bodies, it is my right as your partner to have

Unknown: 00:25:41

access to your body. And women will shut down eventually, we've

Unknown: 00:25:46

heard it all. I can't do that tonight, honey, I have a

Unknown: 00:25:49

headache. I can't do that, you know, women will come up with

Unknown: 00:25:53

excuses to avoid it. That's not to say that they don't have good

Unknown: 00:25:57

sexual loving relationships. But have they cultivated it to the

Unknown: 00:26:02

point where they're actually honoring each other? Like when a

Unknown: 00:26:05

man is in the kitchen with his wife or his girlfriend, and

Unknown: 00:26:09

they're at some party or something? And he spanked her on

Unknown: 00:26:11

the butt? Do you even know she appreciates that? Have you ever

Unknown: 00:26:15

had that conversation? And has she ever told him not to do

Unknown: 00:26:18

that, sometimes those little small things happen, and we

Unknown: 00:26:23

don't pay attention. They're very subtle, they're very

Unknown: 00:26:25

slight. It is not how women want to be approached, but they've

Unknown: 00:26:28

never had the voice to say it in the voice that they usually come

Unknown: 00:26:31

out with is what you touched on earlier, where they become rigid

Unknown: 00:26:35

and cold. And then they turn the pendulum to the other direction.

Unknown: 00:26:38

Now, they don't even want a man in there. But that is not

Unknown: 00:26:41

because they don't want a man in their life. But it's only

Unknown: 00:26:43

because the historical man that has showed up in their life has

Unknown: 00:26:47

never been anything close to what she actually wanted. And so

Unknown: 00:26:51

her answer to her is I'm going to protect my sacred body, I'm

Unknown: 00:26:54

going to protect my sacred space. And that means I need to

Unknown: 00:26:57

cut the man out of my life. Now women have put up this giant

Unknown: 00:27:00

wall around that because they don't know how to be a powerful

Unknown: 00:27:06

woman, and teach men what the men don't know. Now, it's not a

Unknown: 00:27:11

woman's responsibility, especially if she's coming from

Unknown: 00:27:14

a place where no one taught her how to do that, and how to

Unknown: 00:27:16

intern teach the other men. It's both of our jobs, both men and

Unknown: 00:27:20

women to now we cultivate where we've been led wrong, where

Unknown: 00:27:24

we've been led astray, or how we weren't even led for that

Unknown: 00:27:27

matter. And we stumbled in the dark, to now Discover, How do we

Unknown: 00:27:30

show up for each other healthy? How do we show up for each other

Unknown: 00:27:35

compassionately, I do want my counterpart in my life. It

Unknown: 00:27:39

doesn't have to be just in a committed singular relationship,

Unknown: 00:27:42

I should be able to have feminine female counterparts in

Unknown: 00:27:47

my life on various aspects from friends, to sisters, to mothers,

Unknown: 00:27:52

to neighbors to female strangers, and do it in a

Unknown: 00:27:55

healthy manner, as well as a lover or a daughter or a niece.

Unknown: 00:27:58

Same with the women, they can have many male engagements in

Unknown: 00:28:02

their life. But when they're constantly being on slotted by

Unknown: 00:28:07

this ever flowing, almost drowning tidal wave of it always

Unknown: 00:28:13

going to a sexual level, women are just shutting down, they

Unknown: 00:28:18

don't want it anymore. And I love that. That is good, that is

Unknown: 00:28:22

healthy for our community for women to stand up and say

Unknown: 00:28:26

enough, no, we are no longer going to be your predator, you

Unknown: 00:28:30

are no longer your prey. So the masculine energy that has been

Unknown: 00:28:33

sweeping over the history of our species is now finally women are

Unknown: 00:28:39

empowering themselves to say if this is what it means, I do not

Unknown: 00:28:42

want that in my life, I would rather constantly be bombarded.

Unknown: 00:28:46

Now, going back.

Unknown: 00:28:50

It is our job

Unknown: 00:28:53

to learn where we need to show up for the women to allow them

Unknown: 00:28:58

to let down those borders to allow them to take off that arm.

Unknown: 00:29:04

But there is no way they're ever going to do it unless you show

Unknown: 00:29:08

them a man that is different. Unless you show them a man that

Unknown: 00:29:10

is what they actually deserve. I have become one of those men. It

Unknown: 00:29:15

is my nature to be one of those men. I'm honored to be one of

Unknown: 00:29:19

those men and many times in my female encounters. They're very

Unknown: 00:29:25

shy and hesitant to even believe that I am real they're just

Unknown: 00:29:28

waiting for me to spring the trap. Like he's saying all the

Unknown: 00:29:31

right stuff. He's touching my heart He's got me open I am

Unknown: 00:29:34

prostate laid out ready to go. But hell no, because I have all

Unknown: 00:29:38

the red flags because this is way too good to be true. And to

Unknown: 00:29:41

them. I say no, no, it is not too good to be true. It is true.

Unknown: 00:29:45

And if you deny yourself, the availability here, that is your

Unknown: 00:29:49

choice. That is how far your traumas have taken you and I am

Unknown: 00:29:53

not going to be one to push. I'm going to be so true that I'm

Unknown: 00:29:57

going to let you make your own path. I'm going to honor you

Unknown: 00:30:00

you, woman, and let you continue to live within your armor within

Unknown: 00:30:06

your borders. And if that is where you feel comfortable, and

Unknown: 00:30:09

that is where your life is destined to be, so be it. But

Unknown: 00:30:12

I'm going to still be here and be available for any moments in

Unknown: 00:30:15

your life when you think otherwise and show you a real

Unknown: 00:30:18

man, a man that you can hug a man that you can sit and talk

Unknown: 00:30:23

with a man that you can, girlfriends with. I'm going to

Unknown: 00:30:27

use a little expression girlfriends, because the power

Unknown: 00:30:30

of the girlfriend with each other is so beautiful. And I

Unknown: 00:30:33

remember growing up looking at that, and I was like, I want

Unknown: 00:30:36

that with women. why don't women girlfriend out with me? I want

Unknown: 00:30:40

to kick it some night and drink some wine and paint toenails and

Unknown: 00:30:43

watch movies and talk about all the things that we've

Unknown: 00:30:44

experienced in life together. Why don't I have access to this?

Unknown: 00:30:47

Why is it because I have a cock and a masculine body that I'm

Unknown: 00:30:50

excluded from this club. That looks so fun. And I watch them

Unknown: 00:30:54

laugh and dance and play and I'm like, I want that. Well I'm not

Unknown: 00:30:57

getting that from my male counterparts because men don't

Unknown: 00:30:59

do that men bro force out in a whole different manner. Now the

Unknown: 00:31:03

bro force energy is super awesome and the bro force energy

Unknown: 00:31:06

I've even seen some women looking at the row force energy

Unknown: 00:31:09

and be like, Well how come I don't get to bro force out with

Unknown: 00:31:11

the borough's they have so much fun and look at all the fun

Unknown: 00:31:13

they're having. And a lot of times, women will even look

Unknown: 00:31:16

jealous we men I've been in relationships where women get

Unknown: 00:31:19

jealous when I'm hanging out with my buddies, because they're

Unknown: 00:31:22

like, they feel left out in that place. Because they can't. But

Unknown: 00:31:26

it's like it's different energy. So we can build a bridge between

Unknown: 00:31:31

these divides. And we can share, who knows what they're doing,

Unknown: 00:31:35

who's aware of their emotions, who knows what their intentions

Unknown: 00:31:38

are, and literally honestly purely wants to create a space

Unknown: 00:31:41

where I see you, feminine goddess counterpart, I love your

Unknown: 00:31:46

feminine energy. I do not need to have sex with you, I would

Unknown: 00:31:51

love to be in relationship with you and let us share our

Unknown: 00:31:55

feminine and masculine energy together for just that sake, and

Unknown: 00:32:00

that alone. Now if in that interaction, those two wish to

Unknown: 00:32:04

go further with touch, they can go further with touch, and

Unknown: 00:32:08

affection and comfort still does not have to go into a sexual

Unknown: 00:32:12

arena. Sexual arena needs to be cut out of this equation. Many

Unknown: 00:32:17

times people misconstrue sex for love. Love is not sex.

Unknown: 00:32:25

I would like to take a pause for a moment because I want to

Unknown: 00:32:30

dovetail that off into another discovery that I have learned

Unknown: 00:32:34

about the difference between sex and love and why love is

Unknown: 00:32:38

misconstrued with sex. But before I do that, would you like

Unknown: 00:32:41

to say anything about what I've said up until this point?

Unknown: 00:32:47

Thank you so much.

Unknown: 00:32:51

I must say you are a pioneer. You are a pioneer. Because when

Unknown: 00:32:59

you just described how you would communicate with a woman and

Unknown: 00:33:04

behave around a woman, I felt my red flags coming up and not be

Unknown: 00:33:11

present on trust you but because there's so parts in me that I

Unknown: 00:33:15

need to hear. And it just made me aware that

Unknown: 00:33:20

yeah, you're doing the exact thing that that all the women

Unknown: 00:33:25

are dreaming of, and wishing for and then you are this energy,

Unknown: 00:33:31

you are this land. And all of a sudden they feel triggered. They

Unknown: 00:33:35

feel intimidated. Yes, scared.

Unknown: 00:33:40

But we need to keep doing this. We need to keep keep pushing for

Unknown: 00:33:44

this because this is the right path and and you will ignite and

Unknown: 00:33:49

stimulate healing.

Unknown: 00:33:54

And another thing I wanted to say is that we're soon going to

Unknown: 00:33:59

run out of time, and I would love to take you into a second

Unknown: 00:34:04

episode and talk there about love versus sex.

Unknown: 00:34:12

But yeah, if you want to add to what I just said, Please, please

Unknown: 00:34:15

don't hold back and then we will soon start wrapping up.

Unknown: 00:34:21

Excellent. Thank you for that cue. And yes, I did. So let's

Unknown: 00:34:25

turn a different episode. That other dovetail thought to what

Unknown: 00:34:30

you just said yes. I want to say why do the red flags come up?

Unknown: 00:34:36

When I'm presenting myself as the actual thing that a woman

Unknown: 00:34:40

would love to have in her life that does not have to go into a

Unknown: 00:34:43

committed relationship that does not have to go into a sexual

Unknown: 00:34:46

relationship but just to be a man in her life to let her

Unknown: 00:34:49

receive genuine, healthy loving masculine energy and to have

Unknown: 00:34:54

that friend in her life. The red flags come up because there are

Unknown: 00:35:00

men who do what I do, not necessarily the way that I do

Unknown: 00:35:04

it, but they give the woman the promise of safety and a safe

Unknown: 00:35:07

place. And they use that as a tactic to lure them in to do

Unknown: 00:35:11

exactly what I said, The woman is waiting for me to

Unknown: 00:35:15

do that, because they've learned, in order for them to

Unknown: 00:35:18

get what they want from a woman, they have to create that comfort

Unknown: 00:35:22

for her, they have to create that sense of being able to

Unknown: 00:35:26

release her tension and to open up and to feel safe. And so it

Unknown: 00:35:31

is that unfortunate history that we come from. That is a very

Unknown: 00:35:35

true thing. And that is why the women believe this guy has to be

Unknown: 00:35:38

too good to be true. There are women that I open up with that

Unknown: 00:35:41

fall in love with me that suddenly want to couple up with

Unknown: 00:35:45

me. And I have to pull them back and say, Okay, no, my dear, I

Unknown: 00:35:49

apologize. If you feel like our engagement is about to break

Unknown: 00:35:53

your heart. That was never my intention. And it is not where I

Unknown: 00:35:57

ever meant to go. And I made that clear many times. But

Unknown: 00:36:00

understand, it is not your heart that is breaking. If I don't

Unknown: 00:36:03

want to receive the offer of you saying you'd like to be in a

Unknown: 00:36:08

committed relationship with me. It is you feeling like you lost

Unknown: 00:36:13

something, but you're not going to lose something with me, I'm

Unknown: 00:36:16

not going to go away, just because we don't go into a

Unknown: 00:36:18

committed relationship. And just because we don't have a sexual

Unknown: 00:36:21

romantic, intimate relationship doesn't mean the love that you

Unknown: 00:36:24

feel from the connection that we just shared, will leave. And

Unknown: 00:36:28

that's where I want to teach people how to keep the sex. And

Unknown: 00:36:33

the committed relationship like you're my partner, and now we

Unknown: 00:36:35

own each other. I want to keep that out of this entire realm. I

Unknown: 00:36:38

just want to focus on how men can get in tune with their

Unknown: 00:36:41

masculinity on a very Knowledgeable, Wise, intentive

Unknown: 00:36:45

active level, to learn themselves, to show up for the

Unknown: 00:36:49

women to help the women show up for themselves so they can show

Unknown: 00:36:54

up back to the man. So it's a reciprocal energy. Really, I

Unknown: 00:36:58

know we're getting close to the close. And I want to sneak this

Unknown: 00:37:00

one in really quick. To me, a beautiful, loving, nurturing

Unknown: 00:37:04

woman looks like this. She's walking down the street, a man

Unknown: 00:37:08

cat calls at her Hey baby, like yo body, I want to get with

Unknown: 00:37:13

that. A benevolent, empowered goddess would walk up to that

Unknown: 00:37:18

man, and she would say, Oh, my goodness, thank you kind sir,

Unknown: 00:37:21

for the compliment. I appreciate that how well you see my beauty.

Unknown: 00:37:26

But let me tell you, your type of engagement does not feel

Unknown: 00:37:30

healthy to me. And I would love this an opportunity to show you

Unknown: 00:37:33

how I would love to be approached if you would like to

Unknown: 00:37:35

express your attraction to me. And if a woman did that to a

Unknown: 00:37:38

man, she would hit the brake on him. And he'd be like, Whoa,

Unknown: 00:37:42

wait, what? What's going on? No, I was just trying to be like,

Unknown: 00:37:44

no, no, no. And he would almost want to shrink away and she

Unknown: 00:37:46

would grab him and be like, No, you want to my attention. You

Unknown: 00:37:49

have it. Let me show you young child. I want to show you the

Unknown: 00:37:52

way. Let me show you the power of the woman. And then he'd be

Unknown: 00:37:54

like, I don't know what's happening here. And that is the

Unknown: 00:37:57

empowered woman who will have the comfortable and the

Unknown: 00:38:00

fearlessness to be like, oh, hell Oh, man. Let me show you

Unknown: 00:38:03

masculinity. Let me show you what healthy relationships look

Unknown: 00:38:06

like that is an empowered ask the world that I want to see.

Unknown: 00:38:08

Instead of a woman feeling like she needs to pull out her shield

Unknown: 00:38:10

and her sword and either run away or slice them across the

Unknown: 00:38:13

neck and kill her. Yes, yes. Oh my god. Thanks for making me

Unknown: 00:38:19

laugh so hard and, and for making it so yeah, like, easy to

Unknown: 00:38:25

understand and to see what's going on in our society, we can

Unknown: 00:38:30

finally put a finger on it, and learn where we can hear where we

Unknown: 00:38:35

can change, adapt, understand more, and I just love how you

Unknown: 00:38:41

put it into words. I love that. We connected here and I'm so

Unknown: 00:38:46

grateful for this episode, and very excited for the next one

Unknown: 00:38:51

about love and sexuality. Thank you so much.