Ep.14 How to deal with rejection? [with confidence and grace]

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Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora, and I'm so grateful to

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be spending some time with you today. Today I want to send out

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my love to Danny, Daniela in Germany with her sweet little

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baby Madalena, I care about you so much, and to know that he

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will be listening to me, makes me feel so good and connected to

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you. And I want to send out my love to Emily, my dear friend

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from France, again in Fernie British Columbia, now. You are a

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gem. I love you so much. And I'm excited to see you again. In

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spring, hopefully, when Corona allows us Yes, and hello to

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everybody else who's listening. Thank you so much for supporting

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my podcast for sharing for writing reviews rating, or just

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clicking the play button. It means tons to me. Today I want

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to talk about rejection. rejection is part of everybody's

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life. I think there's not a single person out there who

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never experienced rejection, when you have something to say,

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a connection to make a gift, an offer a vulnerable statement,

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and the person who's listening, the people who are listening,

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reject you. Maybe even guilt trip you or shame you. And,

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yeah, it's probably the most painful experience you can go

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through emotionally as a human being. And when we're very

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small. I remember I said that in my first couple episodes between

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age zero, or let's say conception approximately till

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age seven. Our brains are like sponges. And we download

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everything from our surroundings without questioning. And when we

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experience rejection, and that age, at that age, it is scarring

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us for life and even afterwards to like when you are in primary

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school, high school college and your adult life rejection is a

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very, very painful experience to go through. What I've learned

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from rejection is that oftentimes we miss interpret,

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Miss understand the rejection, we make it about us, we make it

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about the very thing that is so dear to us that we were showing,

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exposing. And we feel bit bad about us. We seldomly make it

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well, the other person when we feel rejection. I don't know why

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that is. But what I learned is that a lot of times, it has

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nothing to do with you and what you have to offer and everything

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to do with the other person. It can be a job interview, or can

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be a romantic relationship. It can be a friendship, it can be

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your parents. If you offer them something that is challenging

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their beliefs, that is triggering fear deep inside of

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them, that makes them feel uncomfortable. A lot of the

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times people don't communicate that they react with harsh

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rejection. And that is what we receive and are left with. Take

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me for example, I'm a physiotherapist in Germany. I

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used to be no I'm a personal trainer but I can't work because

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of Coronavirus. I'm a podcaster now, but take personal training.

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You can only expect your clients to call you back if they are

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really willing to get

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better.

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And a lot of people reach a point with me where they feel

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comfortable and yeah that's good enough but i'm actually about to

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leave my comfort zone there with you and i don't want to go down

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that road so i'm not going to call you back this is not what

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they're going to communicate to you they will just not call you

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back because you challenged them and they just don't want to feel

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that way so what i want to say with that is that a lot of times

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we make the other person feel a certain way that we're not aware

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of and this is what they're pushing away they are of course

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pushing you away to because you come with that feeling that you

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helped to bring out inside of them but now i lost my train of

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thought all this to say when someone doesn't want to services

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when someone doesn't want to be around you it has nothing to do

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with you except if you are reckless so of course it has a

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lot of a lot to do with them and where they are standing with

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their growth with their work on their past their shadow work if

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you want to call it that way and you should just keep going out

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there and find people that match what you have to offer and trust

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me there's even a market out there for rainbow colored toilet

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paper so whatever you have to offer it can only be more

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exciting than rainbow colored toilet paper and then please

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don't let your anxiety and fear of rejection hold you back if

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you want to become a coffee roaster and you're working as a

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physiotherapist right now and have three kids at home well

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thank you we need your there we need good coffee i'm a coffee

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addict don't think that you can follow your dreams because your

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family didn't go down that road in enterpreneurship or your

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family doesn't even drink coffee there's enough people out there

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who need you to be there to roast coffee opening a store

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following your your career in other ways is so important that

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you follow your intuition your dream and don't think of what

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your dad is going to think about it or your mom because if you

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have genuine intentions that come from the heart then why

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should you hold back only because they have different

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values and belief systems and they can only cheer you on if

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you are an athlete or a veterinary or an accountant man

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that's bullshit we need you out there with your passion with

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your gift and recklessly re showing off what you got to

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offer that topic rejection is a huge one for many many people i

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know that's why this is not the last episode i want to post

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about this for now my message is see where you are still scared

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of being rejected is it in romantic relationships are you

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still too insecure of who you are or is it your job interview

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maybe you're applying for a job that you don't really want then

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yeah you deserve to be nervous because you don't really want

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that job you really have to go out there and pursue the stuff

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that you are passionate about because life is not gonna just

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offer you something half acidly you have to be vulnerable you

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have to be okay with being rejected if it is the thing that

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you truly want then there will come a point where people will

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give you feedback and need you and want you and the other

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people will either regret that they rejected you at some point

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in your life or they will just say yeah that was not in

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alignment with my values and that person is not

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good for me because she or he is challenging me too much and

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that's okay too people have the right to reject you but you have

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the right to not take it personally, and to keep

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searching for those people out there who need what you have to

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offer. Thank you so, so much for listening. I love my listeners,

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endlessly.

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Your support is so wonderful and Everyday I'm excited to post

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something new for you. So take really good care of yourself and

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I'll be back tomorrow. Bye