Ep.15 Setbacks are tough, but let's see how we can deal with it.

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hey there and welcome to the borealis experience i'

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your host Aurora and yeah i' very happy to be spending som

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time with you today i kno that's my intro but these days

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really feel like i need tha time out from farm life and si

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here record an episode for yo and it will give me peace and

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know i can give you peace too s it really helps me to to creat

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that space of peace and quie and reflection plus i'm on m

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period right now and i feel lik a piece of roadkill so it's goo

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to take a break from yea running around taking care o

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chickens fixing stuff and so o today i want to talk abou

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setbacks and yeah how do yo feel when you have been workin

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on a project have the intentio to give up an addictio

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for

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sorry i'm distracted now because the dogs entered the room or a

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habit that you want to let go of how do you feel in those days

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where you have that urge that craving to go back to that habit

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to that addiction or when you're working on a project and you

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feel you're not advancing you're stuck here reaching a plateau

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yeah how do you feel in those times a lot of us feel shame and

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guilt and feel depressed like short term depression you feel

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as if you're a failure as if you really can't let go of that

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behavior that habit and i think if we know that it is normal to

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feel that way that progress growing is not linear it's not

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ongoing every day every second on your life in your life that

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growth is sometimes having to go back having to stop having to

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relax into what is hey there and welcome to the borealis

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experience i'm your host aurora excuse moi that was my puppies

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in the background starting to wrestle and yeah so if you take

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dozer for example my three year old puppy we are potty training

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him and he's been doing awesome like really good and today is a

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day where it's not working at all like he doesn't even say

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when he wants to go out and there's absolutely no point in

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punishing him and making them feel bad we just put him out

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doors and emphasize again that being outdoors is what is

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supposed to happen and yeah compassion and patience patience

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patience big times and i feel with another human with an

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animal it is so easy to do but when it comes to ourselves we're

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always the harshest biggest assholes and so judgmental is so

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critical and go right into guilt and shame and that makes it even

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worse like if you look at people who want to get away from

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alcohol and those days where they have that urge that craving

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and then maybe go back to a little bit of alcohol and then

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they think about oh my god i'm going back to my addiction now

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and try to drink that down and try to numb that feeling out

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because it's not good to feel as if you're failing in overcoming

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your addiction but you're doing that very thing to numb that

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shitty feeling again so how can we not punish ourselves beat

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ourselves up so much when we have these thoughts when we have

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these cravings, because it all begins with a thought it all

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begins with a feeling, right? You want to be good you want to

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be without your addiction. But you have that feeling that comes

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up that need to numb things out or to forget or to make things

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easier with your with your substance of choice. So when you

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meditate, or when you allow yourself to reflect about your

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thoughts, then you can catch yourself right away and then do

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the opposite. Like growing sometimes means to do the exact

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opposite that what you feel like doing right now. So if you feel

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like drinking again, smoking again, then go for a run

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instead, or call a friend and tell her tell him about your

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thoughts. And don't give in and don't beat yourself up, be like

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your best friend and create a space where you can forgive

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yourself where you can be okay with these thoughts and

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feelings, and they will pass they will go away.

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It is just very important to be kind to yourself. As I said at

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the beginning, progress growth is not linear. And also means

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that you will be confronted with situations that come

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unexpectedly and that will challenge you that will test you

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it will be tests that come and you will always have a choice,

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you will always know that you can stop and take a breath and

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make a wise decision, a decision that is best for you a decision

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that couple of years back he wouldn't have been able to do.

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So I think it is extremely important to say that at this

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point. That if you are in it for growth, if you are about to give

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up an addiction or behavior, and you're listening to my podcast,

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there will be days where you feel like an absolute failure

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where you feel you're not progressing. But nothing is

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happening. I thought I still there, my insomnia is still

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there. And I still want to go back to my ex because that's

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easiest. those thoughts are just thoughts. And those urges are

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just urges, but we can learn to observe them and resist them and

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take the volume down like from a radio station. And then you'll

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be good, then you'll be fine with where you're at and know

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that tomorrow is going to be different tomorrow, you might

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feel like you're growing again and you're walking into the

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right direction. It's okay to sometimes stop and feel lost and

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feel like a complete failure. Like when you look at Joe Rogan,

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when you look at Whitney Cummings, or whoever you're

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following whoever you think is doing awesome out there. They

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all have these days of self doubt of self criticism and of

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feeling like a failure because you always compare yourself to

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things that you think you don't have in life, right? So also

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successful. Sorry, successful people feel like a failure at

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times. But what they learn to do is not punish themselves and be

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okay with that for a moment. And then continue and not let that

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little setback make you throw away your whole your whole

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progress that you've made in the past weeks or months or years.

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So it is a conscious decision that you have to make in those

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times. And I know you can do it because you wouldn't be here and

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listening to me. If you were not capable. I believe in you so

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much. You have to believe in you. And be kind to yourself.

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Yes, that was it for today. You're listening to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora and I'll be out there tomorrow.

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Again. I'm so grateful that I can be raw and transparent and

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genuine with you. I don't have to put On the show, I don't have

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to be my best to every day I can be low energy and still doing

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good out there. So I'm very grateful that you value that and

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that I can serve you the best way I can in a very authentic

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way. Great

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until next