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Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora, and very happy to be

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spending some time with you today on this snowy, April,

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winter day in Canada, can you hear in my voice that I'm slowly

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but surely getting sick and tired of winter? I don't know,

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maybe you do. All right Long story short, I make no claims to

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be a health care practitioner or any professional health advice

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person, if you are on medication, if you are seeing a

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therapist, please don't make any changes based on what I say

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here. Because what I'm sharing is my experience, my opinions,

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and especially my tools that helped me throughout my 30s when

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I started my healing journey. And it is tools that I wish I

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had in my teenage years, and especially in my 20s. But it's

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okay, it's not too late. And I can hopefully offer some

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shortcuts to people out there who listen to this. And, yeah,

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if you get value out of the episodes, please share with

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people you care, or send a review on Apple podcasts and

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helps tremendously for other people to find the podcast and

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then to also feel empowered, inspired and especially less

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lonely. We want to make sure to, to connect with people around

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the globe. And it's amazing to connect with people from Sri

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Lanka, from Nepal, from Germany, my beloved country, and all over

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Europe. And I love that you. Yeah, send donations, it makes

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it all so much easier. It's a one, one woman show here. I'm

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doing it all. And I want to make sure that I spare you, you know,

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sponsors or weird advertisement. So it is going to stay free of

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advertising. But to make it sustainable, please consider

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sending a little bit of your donation. And for the people

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who've done that already. I love you, I care for you. And I'm so

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motivated and will keep showing up. Today I want to talk about

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resistance, the resistance, I have a request for an episode

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that I got a week ago or so and I will make sure to address it.

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We'll be talking about putting a phone away at times and how

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people react to that. So if we want to make sure to, you know,

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be more present with the people who are sitting right in front

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of us, and we put our phone away and then somebody wants to reach

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us and then they get upset. How do we deal with feelings of

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guilt? And how do we deal with overall like our phone

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addiction. I'm number one phone addict, coffee addict, pineapple

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and avocado addicts and I just love talking about that because

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it's important to be to be aware of those little weird addictions

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that we have and phone and screen addiction is a thing is a

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part of pretty much every every person's life unless they are

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very disciplined. And we can learn discipline with our

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phones. Alright, without further ado, I want to talk about

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resistance today resolving releasing resistance. So many of

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us are constantly trying to control and to find out before

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anything can start. What an outcome could be. And when you

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ask people what they desire, what they want in their life,

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and I not only experienced that with my beloved coaching

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patients clients, but also with friends or family, they usually

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name what they do not want to see in the future. So for

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example, I asked somebody where do you want to go? vacationing

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like travel? Where do you want to travel to next? Well, last

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time I went to Mexico, and it wasn't that awesome, so I'm not

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going to go back there. Also my vacation in Italy two years ago,

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I didn't really like the hotel, so I'm not going to go there.

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And I listened patiently. But then can't help. But point out

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that they didn't really answer my question. I asked what you

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wanted to do, and not what you don't want to do. And it is a

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weird thing in the Western world. I'm just thinking, like,

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that's why I had to hesitate, because maybe it's in other

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cultures, too. But I noticed that in a North American

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culture, extremely, that when you ask somebody, what they

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want, that they first tell you all the things they don't want.

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And that is not how you get to your goal. That is not how

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you're going to have a fulfilled relationship. And especially in

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relationships, if you keep pointing out the things that you

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don't like. So if every time you open up your mouth, it is about

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something that you want to change or differently, to see

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being done differently or control, then your partner is

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going to get tired and sick of you very quickly. On the

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opposite side of the ad. If you point out things, whenever stuff

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goes right, then you create a beautiful positive momentum and

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a relationship. And things can flow more nicely. But let just

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the relationships be relationships for a moment. And

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let's just focus on you right now. And think about how we

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resist. To relax, we resist to surrender. We want to have

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advice right away, we want to have solutions right away. We

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want instant gratification. We don't like waiting, we are

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impatient. And we resist the idea that things could be

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unfolding. Naturally, we resist the idea that magic can happen,

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that things can happen that we could have never anticipated. So

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with this episode today, I just want us to be aware for a second

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on how controlled our life and surroundings actually are. And

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how this is not. Reality in in life when it comes to, you know

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the important stuff and life. Yeah, you can predict the

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weather, you can predict maybe when the next train is going to

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Berlin from Munich, you can predict when the next hockey

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game is going to be in Calgary. But what I mean is, life in

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itself cannot be predicted. This is where death is such a huge

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teacher because death sometimes comes out of nowhere and teaches

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you how valuable life is without death. I don't know if if we

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were not to die. I don't know how much more wasteful we would

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be. It'd be pretty scary actually. But yeah, going back

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to resistance is that we resist the chance that something could

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unfold beautifully. Without us controlling it. We resist rest

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and relaxation. For most people. It is very, very tough to get

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into a relaxed state without numbing themselves with Netflix

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or alcohol or porn, or whatever you can think of that is nice

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and distract distracting and an awesome dopamine hit.

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It's it's really a tough thing to do. I put a finger on. But I

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see it in my yoga classes here and the year there relaxation

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classes I meant. It is hard for people to at first realize,

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okay, I'm going to keep my eyes closed, I'm going to move

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slowly, I'm not going to push myself. And I'm going to use the

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pillows and bolsters in a way that I feel supported and can

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relax. For some people, this is really hard to do. And then

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after 10 minutes, 20 minutes, they start melting into these

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bolsters. And it's just so beautiful to see that, yeah,

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actually, when there is a space created for people where they

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can relax and let go, it is easier. But when you are at

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home, when you have your monkey mind, spinning, and spinning and

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spinning, when you have all distractions around you, it is

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very tough to let go of control and to let go of certain thought

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patterns and belief systems. So what I invite you to do in the

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future. And that's actually a very cool thing to do. And it

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changed so much in my life. And it was inspired by a Jim Carrey

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movie called Yes, man movie that I highly recommend. I will make

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sure to put it in the show notes is a guy who kept saying no,

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kept rejecting, kept resisting, and something happens to him, I

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forgot what it was. And then all of a sudden, he starts saying

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yes, to absolutely everything. And his life changes so much.

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Because he now is open to novelty to surprises. And he has

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a trusting heart, all of a sudden, at the beginning of the

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film of first half of the film, you can tell that he's very

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rigid, he has his heart closed, he resists to see beauty, he can

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only see beauty by what he knows and what feels familiar. But as

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soon as that event like I think it was a pretty traumatic event

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that happens to him, changes him, he starts opening up his

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heart, and starts to be curious, and starts to be understanding

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and loving. And it's just so beautiful to see. And I wish

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that for everybody. I wish that for myself, for the family

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members I love and my friends and all my listeners here that

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you allow for beautiful little surprises you allow to just

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wander through your city without looking at your phone, and to

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look at the architecture to try new foods to talk to people that

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you would otherwise never talk to. And to be just curious about

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what life has to offer for you. And to know that it is not

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controllable. It's all just little moments of magics that

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happen that you can only see with an open heart. It is when

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you get invited to a party to a birthday to I don't know an art

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gallery. And you think, Oh, I don't like art. I don't want to

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go and dress up tonight or I don't want to do this like all

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those anxiety excuses that come up because they want to keep you

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in your little bubble, your little comfort zone. I hope that

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over the next couple of days or maybe even weeks you can say yes

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to a couple of things that in the past you would have said no

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to. And of course it's not stupid things that will harm you

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or cause death or injury to people around you or yourself.

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But it is stuff that are things sorry, that are gonna pull you

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out of your comfort zone and your ego, your little hurt ego,

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your little ego that wants to be in control all the time that

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wants you to stay on your couch and stay small is gonna rebel,

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you're gonna get maybe even headaches or you want to catch

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the flu. Right? The ego is so intelligent and can trick your

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body really into feeling sick because it doesn't want to

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change doesn't want to Get out of the comfort zone. But that

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you remember my little episode here and maybe even watch that

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Jim Carrey movie called Yes man, and then realize how beautiful

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life can be when we just say a little more often. Yes to

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novelty. All right, my love my dear one. I'm going to leave you

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with that with all my love and care. If you have any episode

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requests, please don't hesitate to contact me on Facebook,

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Aurora Eggert or on Instagram Aurora coaching and I'd be more

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than happy to connect. Alright, take really good care and yeah,

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I'll be out there very soon again. Bye