Ep. 14 How important is your opinion ? [self-awareness]

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Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

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your host Aurora, life coach and companion on this beautiful

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journey called life. And I'm very happy to be spending some

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time with you today. It is Thursday, Thursday, January 20.

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In the year 2022. Sorry, I had to think for a moment here, then

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2022. All ready. I hope you're doing well. I hope you feel

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safe. I hope you can appreciate the things that you have in

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life. And I hope your mind is open your heart is warm. Thank

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you so much for being here with me. I totally appreciate every

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moment I'm spending with you. When I connect on Facebook with

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you, when I have you here commenting or giving me feedback

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or sending me a review or sending me a coffee or donation,

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you are endlessly precious. And I know you are precious to many

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important people out there as well. Today, I want to talk

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about your opinion. We all have opinions, right? And if not

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during COVID, then maybe before already, but latest, with all

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the COVID stuff going on. We realize how constructive and

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relationship building opinions can be. But we can also see how

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destructive it can be to have a strong belief or opinion. The

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more fanatic we become with an opinion, the more radical our

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life gets. Because we reject people who don't think the same

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way and we embrace celebrate praise people that think exactly

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the same. But as you can hear maybe already in my voice and

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the tone of my voice, it is very black and white. Whenever we

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have an opinion, we reject some and embrace others. Of course it

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all has nuances. Yeah shades of Gray's with every opinion we

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have with every judgment we have, it depends who we are

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talking to. When we're standing in front of a person who's

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really radical we tend to be radical to when it's a person

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that is a little bit more open minded, we tend to be a little

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bit open minded to that's a little bit how it works. But if

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we tend to get too attached to our opinions, I feel we pull

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suffering into our lives. No matter what it is. No matter

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what you have a strong opinion about. You will create division,

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separation, and that only can lead to pain. See, what I've

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learned in life is that there is not one way to get to a

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destinations. There's always 22 million ways to get to a

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destination. And this is what we have to learn on this journey

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called life we have to learn. First of all, that every person

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has a different experience, person perception of life. And

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second of all that, yes, we can have an opinion we can have a

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belief, an unshakable opinion. But there's always an opposite

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side there's always another side to the coin. There's always is

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at least two sides. And when it comes to look at parties,

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like a husband and a wife, fighting, and when you look when

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you watch them. And when you hear them out separately, they

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will talk the truth, their truth from their perspective.

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And they might be both truthful and honest with you. But if you

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put them back into one room, the one will be pointing out to the

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other that he or she is lying. Because they have a different

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perspective on things. And this is so incredibly fascinating to

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me. When you look at people who observe an accident or something

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that happens on the street, and how they would describe it.

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Sometimes people describe a situation in such a different

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way. And you've been there with them standing maybe even next to

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them. And you are like, thinking to yourself, What? What is that

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person talking about?

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This is not at all what happened. Next time you watch a

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movie with somebody, I want you to ask them questions about how

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they perceive that movie? What was your favorite character was?

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What was your favorite scene?

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What touched you the most? What scared you? What made you feel

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really uncomfortable? Did you notice these couple of details

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here? Oh, you discovered something else in a movie that I

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was watching with you next to me. And I didn't even pay

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attention to that detail. I love watching movies. Yes, by myself,

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but even more with other people and discussing it. Because I

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learned so much about the same movie. Then if I had watched it

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by myself, and you know, when it comes to relationships, when it

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comes to friendships, we often forget that yes, the person

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loves you, the person is with you. The person is choosing you,

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the person is choosing to spend time with you. But they have

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their totally different internal experience and world and map of

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the world you can say. And as a coach, this is so incredibly

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fascinating. Because yes, every person is different. Every

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situation is perceived differently. Every pain is

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perceived differently. A person could tell me oh my god, I'm in

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so much pain. And I'm I'm going through this right now. And you

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know, in an instant my brain would go into Oh yeah, I've

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experienced that too. And this is probably how the person is

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feeling right now how I felt back then in a similar

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situation. But this is so wrong to do this is what a coach a

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therapist, I'm a physiotherapist as well. Can cannot allow him or

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herself to do. If I compare past situations to a present

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situation and involved with other people involved. Sorry, my

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English sucks today. This can be painfully dangerous. I can miss

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out on additional information. Yet our brain is programmed to

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generalize, to distort and to delete information in the moment

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to make things easier to get to a conclusion faster to get to an

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opinion, faster to get to a solution faster. Our brain our

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wonderful little computer up there is doing that on a

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constant to make our life easier. But sometimes it's

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deleting sensitive information that we need To account in that

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we need to count in Yeah. So it is really, really important.

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When it comes to your opinion that you realize, the person

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who's standing in front of you is breathing, the same air is

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standing in the same space. But they have way, way different

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experience in life than you have. And it is perfectly fine

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for them to have a different opinion. And you will see, the

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less you are attached to an opinion because it's really your

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ego, your sense of self, your false sense of self, your, you

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know, ego, trying to make up an identity and trying to find out

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who are you that is clinging to an opinion so desperately. And

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if we would all let go a little bit more of a harsh opinions,

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and know that connecting with a stranger who is of a different

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faith who is of a different opinion, whatever it is, is so

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incredibly precious, to learn to understand, to expand, to grow,

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to step into another person's shoes, is such a sweet and deep

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way to connect with humanity. Not only one person, but the

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whole of humanity. And it will give you such a rich feeling in

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your heart. Such an abundance of love. Because if the person

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who's standing in front of you knows that you really don't want

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to understand them, you really want to know, what is it that's

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going on in your brain? Why are you making these conclusions?

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Why are you making this out of that situation? People will open

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up to you, people will want to connect with you help you be

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there for you. You know, so many times I hear people complaining

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that they feel lonely, that they feel isolated and that human

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beings are assholes and reckless. Yes, they are. I

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totally agree. But we all are as adults and reckless, in some

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situations are we not. But most of the time some of us are just

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trying to survive, to get by. So Allah says just stuck in their

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pain. And I distributing more pain on planet Earth. And I want

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you I want my listeners here to be aware of how precious it is

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to let go a little bit more of your opinion. And to embrace and

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encourage deference. To make it okay, again, to be different to

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think differently. To know that if your brother doesn't agree

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with you, you're not going to make this one little argument

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about him about how he is you're going to see this as a little

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piece of a puzzle. But you will look at him as a whole and see

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that he's genuinely good. He has good intentions. He just wants

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the best for himself and his family just like you. I think

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this is very important. And I'm very, you know, I feel very

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blessed that within my family we have we're very strong

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characters we're very radical. When it comes to our values,

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opinions, our lifestyles and was very, very different. When it

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comes to approaching life, when it comes to approaching problems

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and solutions. Yet we respect each other and we love each

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other more than we are attached to our opinions. And that is so,

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so precious. I thank I thank every day For people,

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understanding other people have other faith, other opinion,

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other lifetime lifestyles. It is really, really important. All

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right, I'm going to let you with this message. Please let me know

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how it goes. Let me know. Yeah, what situations you are

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encountering when it comes to wanting to understand people and

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experiencing strong connections, or maybe even rejection. Some

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people are not there yet. And don't want to connect with you

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don't want to be that open hearted. They still want to be

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mind driven. And that's okay, too. You are on this path. You

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are living a life that you want to be proud of one day, or maybe

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already. And not everybody has to dance along. Be with you on

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that path. People come and go and some people, yeah, have to

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go if they're not in alignment with your values anymore. All

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right. Thank you so much for spending time with me. I value

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your feedback. I value your presence. take really good care

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of yourself. And I will be out there very soon again. Bye bye.