Ep.11 Family gatherings and graceful boundaries [relationships] - The Borealis Experience

Episode 11

Ep.11 Family gatherings and graceful boundaries [relationships]

Published on: 7th April, 2023

Happy Easter!!

Talking to a couple friends today I realized:

Most people are nervous before family gatherings and relieved after the weekend is over.

For one reason or another i feel we can all learn to get better at setting boundaries.

  • How to deal with uncomfortable conversations.
  • How to communicate clearly and gracefully
  • Is it our duty to set boundaries ? Or can we just walk away?

I’m very excited to guide you closer to your real, authentic self.

My vision is to support your growth.

This is a place where you can recharge your batteries, reconnect to yourself, 

really get to know yourself and find out what steps you can take to untangle

yourself from a situation you don’t wish to be in. I invite you to get to know yourself better in order for you to make the right choices for yourself in the future.

Make sense of your mind and strengthen your relationships


Learn more at



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Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter become the strongest most authentic version of yourself.

Let’s dive in and find out more about this juicy topic that will most likely affect you in one way or another. 

In this episode and many other episodes I touch on topics that I usually work on with my clients. Here in my podcast it will be targeted to a broad spectrum of people. If you'd like to go more into depth with a topic I address, reach out to me.


with love and much respect

Aurora



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Transcript
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Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

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your host, Aurora, lash coach and companion on this beautiful

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journey called life. I hope you're doing good, I hope you

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feel safe. I hope you're in a good space mentally and

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emotionally. It is Easter weekend. Who would have thought?

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Yeah, it is April 7. And I talked to a couple people today,

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and most people were a little bit anxious nervous for this

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weekend to arrive. But also to be over with. I think I attract

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people who were fairly authentic, and usually tell me

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exactly how they feel. There's no beating around the bush. So I

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always get to hear about the nitty gritty details that of

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course, are safe, I'm not going to share them with you here and

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anything, but it's quite interesting how we put ourselves

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in position where we feel anxious and nervous, and we do

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it to please others to, you know, keep harmony to keep the

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family together. And at the same time, are we being honest with

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ourselves? Are we being authentic with our true nature,

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I feel we can do both, I feel we can be a social animal, we can

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be a family member. And at the same time be authentic as well.

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But sometimes there's members in the community or in our family,

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who make it rather difficult to be authentic and to stay kind

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and graceful. And this is what I want to talk about today and

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said it is so incredibly important wherever you go, and

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not only in family dynamics, so for family gatherings, that we

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don't take what people offer to us. And what I mean by that is

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not the Easter egg, not the little gift that they bring or

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the flowers they deliver. But the heavy emotions, the

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memories, the accusations, the expectations, that people try to

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put on us that we are supposed to take on. And then yeah,

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accommodate the other person or react to the other person. We

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can be selective and this is one of the biggest parts of coaching

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when when I work with my clients is to really become a detective

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about what brings you joy, which connections are nurturing and

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good for you. And which connections are we going to

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gently and gracefully address, clear up or even push further

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away from us without causing a big dramatic reaction or

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response in the other, which cannot always be controlled. But

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to have the intention to make changes in a smooth way and not

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dramatic way and to find out. Who are the people that are good

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for you and who are the people that you can learn from and feel

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inspired by. And who are the people that you can just keep a

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little bit at a distance. Don't get me wrong, sometimes we get

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triggered by people because we need to heal. It's not their

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fault by how they show up. It is how we react to them and how we

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can learn to heal when we feel triggered. So not to blame

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others but to look internally where we can grow and expand and

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just let go of insecurities a little bit more. But when it

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comes to people who are very unhappy with their lives and

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they just take it out on us through you know sarcasm or

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weird comments, rip shots. We don't have To take that anymore,

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we live in 2023. Where everybody may be offended for one thing or

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another another. No, I'm just, I'm just joking here, but we are

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in a time where emotional evolution is required. Let's put

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it that way. And it's a great thing. We don't have to expose

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ourselves to stupid, silly bullying anymore. Right? I was,

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I was born in the 80s. And nowadays, I'm just happy to go

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to bed at night, not being feeling bullied or harassed or

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humiliated, or attacked emotionally. Because back then,

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I don't know, we just, we just were very rough on each other.

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And now people who are rough on other people are being called

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out. And I wish I really wish that existed when I was little

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when I was at school. But I want you to claim this beautiful,

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emotional change that the world is going through right now. And

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to stand up for yourself to stand up for others who might

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not hear this episode, and you hear it and are being reminded

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next time you witness somebody bullying another and to have

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sentenced sentences. Sorry, ready? Like, how did you mean

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this? What do you mean by what you just said? I feel really

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uncomfortable with what you just said. I feel you are seeing this

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from your perspective, and don't really understand where I'm

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coming from. I feel that you are taking out your insecurities on

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me. sentences like that can totally take out the wind out of

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somebody's sails. You know, like sailboat sails. Who has weird

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intentions, mean intentions or is just full on? Unaware, so

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unaware, and they don't even know how they make you feel. And

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this is how we can teach people how to hand handle us not handle

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us, I want to find a different word, how to treat us exactly.

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You don't need to have people treat you poorly. You don't need

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to allow that. And I really don't like how there's like this

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whole talk about narcissism and paths out there. And yeah, we

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both exist. But I think all people have both sides inside of

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themselves. And depending on what they exposed to, they react

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a certain way. But really to claim their power to communicate

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how you feel in the moment to stand your ground. And to not

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take on that gift. So to say that somebody wants to place

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into your hands when they make a weird comment in that moment

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when a weird common comes when this. Yeah, awkward expectations

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from relatives and in laws are being expressed. You don't need

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to take it on, you don't need to leave it, like coming so close

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to you that you have spontaneous reaction to it. You just leave

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it laying there on the table in between you and the other person

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and you look at it and you decide if you want to take it on

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or not. And if you really feel that this person keeps bugging

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you and really doesn't understand, then just say

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something like, yeah,

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I really think we are on different pages and I really

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don't see any reasons why we should continue this

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conversation. Because you don't understand me You clearly don't

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know who I am. And to not say that in an aggressive way but

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assertive way and very clear way and In that way we can protect

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ourselves from weird mental attacks, or unawareness from

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other people. And honestly, you actually helps the other person,

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you not only show them how you want to be treated, but they

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might think about their behavior and react differently in the

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future with with other people and talk differently more kinda

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with other people. So it's basically our duty to ourselves

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to communicate boundaries like that, but also for the fellow

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people, you know, community members out there. If there is a

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bully in your community, you don't need to call them out and

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put them on a pedestal and throw rotten tomatoes at them. But you

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can be very clear with them, and then they will change with time

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or leaves. They will leave because nobody, you know, reacts

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to their attacks or hooks anymore. So I want to make sure,

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always, always, always that you feel connected, that you feel

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the love that you feel that you can reach out when something is

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bugging you. And so I encourage you to connect with me over

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Facebook and shoot me a question there or request an episode. Or

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share with me what's bugging you and then we can go from there. I

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make no claims of being a mental health practitioner or doctor.

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I'm none of that. I'm a life coach. I'm a yoga teacher. And I

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truly care about the people in my community. But if there's

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anything I can do for you to help, please don't hold back. If

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you liked this episode, make sure to press the subscribe

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button. Give me a rating of five stars if it sounds spread, or a

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review, it helps tremendously to support more people out there

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who need to hear this. And if you want to buy me a coffee of

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course I'm not going to buy coffee with your precious goods.

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But I'm gonna invest it into the year experience, which is a

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physical location where I offer relaxation classes. And I'd love

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to see you there in the future and have you recharge your

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batteries enjoy silence and forest and a beautiful fireplace

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and golian beard. Alright, without further ado, happy

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About the Podcast

The Borealis Experience
Reconnect to yourself and enjoy life on a deeper level
Hello there,
In this podcast I want to create a space for you where you can recharge your batteries, expand, grow and feel at home with yourself. I will take you on a journey that will get you with ease and effortlessness to a more peaceful state of being. Genuine, raw and transparent - always.
Meditations included
Enjoy it, cause you’re so worth it !
Love Aurora
Also..
A little bit about me
Trust me I’m far from feeling, behaving or being perfect.
Perfection is nothing I’m thriving for yet I can say I’m proud of my path/ life journey.

I'm no longer enslaved to my #depression
I'm no longer a #rapevictim
I no longer struggle with #eatingdisorder
I no longer feel the need to hold on to fear, anger and resentment towards men.
I #create podcast episodes and videos several times a week to support and inspire others even on days I feel poorly.
I push through hard times while being gentle on myself.

I'm able to be consistent without feeling drained for the first time in my life because I found something that brings me joy and excitement and stills my hunger to support people out there.

I try my best to understand people’s harsh opinions that are not in alignment with my values .

I learn every day on how to express myself better in a foreign language

I no longer use being bullied back then in school as an excuse in life to not show up for myself or others.

I ask questions, really annoying questions, in order to experience my environment and to find out what is best for me and my people around me ..
Yes, I still feel triggered in many situations.
Yes, I feel depressed and discouraged at times but I embrace it and don’t let it define me anymore.

Doing all this allows me to meet incredible people along the way.

People who:
- inspire me
- encourage me and ignite my deep compassion

I'm grateful for all of you and I’m so happy that I can learn from you and grow together with you .

We are all together in this beautiful mess called life
Thank you for being here

Lots of love and respect
A.
Support This Show

About your host

Profile picture for Aurora Eggert

Aurora Eggert

Hello there,
Born and raised in Germany under the influence of French culture I got a taste of how people perceive life and situations totally differently depending on how and where they grew up. this ignited my deepest curiosity for human behaviour at a very young age.

Being always more of an introvert and observant child I absorbed a lot of stuff that to this day weigh heavy on my soul but on the bright side I can say that these experiences make me relate so much deeper and better to the people around me.

I understand pain. I know suffering. I know how it feels to feel misunderstood.
People say I have a warm, soothing vibe and I enjoyed many years working as a physiotherapist in Germany.

Today I’m more venturing towards bringing healing through podcasting/ Life coaching and yoga. I also encourage people to spend more time out in nature and have a Yurt set up in our forest where I host regular relaxation classes.

I would like to call myself a perception shifter because this is what helped me on my path of (ongoing) healing - I’d love to offer perception shifting thoughts/views in order to make people feel more real and their life easier and their relationships deeper.

I’m also passionate about bringing awareness to locally grown food to people’s table as I’m certain that feeling empowered and real starts with what you nurture your body with and what you absorb with all senses from your environment on a daily basis .

I live in the Rocky Mountains
Raise a couple chickens Free range for eggs and grow a beautiful vegetable garden with my grandmother, fiance and mother in summer.

Podcasting became my passion because I can reach people all over the world- Give hope, make people feel less lonely and self-empowered. Furthermore the interviews with people from around the world expand my horizon and help me heal my soul.
Bonnie my pitbull is always at my side.
connect with me and share your story on my show .

Love ❤️
A.