Ep.9 Your pain and how to deal with it [heal your soul]

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Hello,

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and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm your host

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Aurora. And I'm so happy to be spending some time with you

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today, I hope you're doing well, I hope you're in a comfortable

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space, maybe you're going for a walk, maybe you're driving home,

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maybe you're taking the bus, or the train. Whatever you're

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doing, I hope you are in a good mental, spiritual, emotional

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space. Today, I want to talk about your pain and the

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importance of sharing our uncomfortable truth. stuff that

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we might think was not that bad. But might be very important to

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share with another person. And chances are, they will say Holy

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shit, that was intense. I'm so sorry that this happened to you,

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or whatever they may say, they will show compassion. They are

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healthy individual, you will be touching their heart with your

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story. And you will be able to come clean with that story

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maybe. Because every time we share our story, there's someone

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out there who can relate, who can learn who can heal. And it

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is not so much about staying stuck in that pain and repeating

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that story and living a victim life. This is exactly opposite.

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What I want to talk about today, because you are not a victim, he

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went through some stuff like any other person too. We all went

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through some stuff. And we have to be honest with ourselves, we

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have to look at it. And maybe go back and feel that pain again.

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And then make peace with it. Because we don't want to run

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around and live a victim life. We don't want to run around and

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avoid situations close ourselves up. Just because we had that

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one, or two or three or more painful experiences. We want to

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live a fulfilled life alive where we experience with all our

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senses where we can be curious and living from the heart

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instead of living from fear. And from a mindset ego driven. level

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of Yeah, living, experiencing life. So whenever you tell

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someone that you've gone through some stuff, and it can be the

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divorce of your parents, it can be an experience that you've

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made when you were in high school, maybe bullying. Maybe

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you lost your job and the teens and your 20s. Or maybe you went

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through an extreme heartbreak. Maybe you overcame addiction or

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are still struggling with addiction. Whatever it is, you

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have to be aware that this has happened to you. And now the

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time has come to heal that wound because you don't want to be a

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victim. So how do we do that? How can we own our scars, our

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pain without living a life of being a victim? I think the

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strongest lesson I have learned is that there's always someone

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out there who suffers more, and someone out there who we can

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help relate, help feel less alone. So that is step number

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one. Try to think about the people outside of you and

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believe that we need you out there as a functioning healthy

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person. And if you can do the work. If you are ready to heal

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and to let go of your pain then you are on Such a beautiful path

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because you will meet people that went through similar stuff,

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you will meet people who want to support you, you will meet

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people that will show compassion.

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The second step is to be honest with your protective behavior,

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like the stuff that you created in order to prevent yourself to

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go through that pain again. So let me give you an example here.

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Let's say you went through extreme heartbreak. And now

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you're trying to date again. But every time you meet someone, you

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see someone that reminds you of that heartbreak a person. And

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you're trying to push it away and not think of it. But every

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time you meet that new person, you have to think of your old

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person, again, the person who have caused you pain in the

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past. So there's two ways then you can either contact that

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person and ask for perfect closure. or second option, which

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is my preferred option, you make peace on your own. With that

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person on a distance, you know that you own your part, they own

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their part, and you forgive yourself for your part, and you

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forgive them for their part. And you meditate on that, and you

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reflect on that and know that you deserve a new start. You

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don't deserve to be living in the past, you deserve to move on

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and to live a juicy, fulfilled life. So now every time you meet

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that new person, and those triggers come up, those thoughts

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come up, I want you to remember what I just said here, you have

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to feel deserving again. And you have to approach every new

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person with curiosity and an open heart.

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When it is addiction that you've struggled with, and you feel

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successful at overcoming it now, you will be tested, you will go

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through phases where you want to cave, you want to go back

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because you know it's going to make you feel good for a little

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bit. And you know, it's something that you can control

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and it helps you to cope with life. I then want you to

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remember that you deserve to live a life and freedom. You

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deserve to be free of those cravings. And you deserve to

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know what is best for you outside of these drugs and

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whatever you use to keep you Okay, it is okay to feel pain,

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it is okay to feel as if you have to ask for help. It is okay

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to feel lonely at times, but not for too long. reach out and ask

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for help. Instead of going back to your comfort zone and your

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substances that you have used. And when you share these

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experiences, when you share with people that you're struggling

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with something and you're trying to help yourself and you're

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doing your best to be a functioning person out there,

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people will start helping you people will start listening,

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people will have compassion and empathy for you and even look up

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to you and see how courageous you are. And you will motivate

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other people to do the same. They will feel safe and you and

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your environment. If you say that in English, they will feel

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safe around you. Let's put it that way. And maybe maybe you

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open up more to you and you will have stronger and more beautiful

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connections. So whatever it is that you're struggling with, or

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that you may be not aware of, but you're still carrying around

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with you. Go back and visit and go back and visit with the

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intention to heal with the intention to share and with the

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intention to move on. right not to victimize yourself, but to

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not be a victim but owning your story.

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I will stop here and take a breather. We will both take a

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breather now. Because there was something else I wanted to say

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and I can quite think of it now. Deep inhale and exhale. Deep

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inhale

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and exhale.

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Beautiful. No, that's odd didn't come back. And that's also

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totally fine. I think I covered everything that I wanted to get

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out today. So, see the value and going back and revisiting stuff

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that was uncomfortable, and then share with people. And he'll go

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back with the intention to heal, and to forgive. And to not live

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in resentment and bitterness, but to live from the heart from

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a very warm space inside of yourself. Thank you so much for

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listening to the Borealis experience. I'm your host

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Aurora. And I'm very happy to be out there for you tomorrow

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again, I might be posting a new interview with john Astin, who

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was sentenced to 150 years of jail time. And his incredible

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story of freeing himself. He's a true warrior. He's truly

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inspiring when it comes to facing a hopeless situation and

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making the best out of it. So be excited for this episode, and

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spend the good rest of your day now. Take good care.