Ep.7 Is Feminism getting us where we need to be ? and how self improvement can change your perspective on life interview by Elliott Oakes and Jack White

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Hello and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

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your host Aurora, and I'm very excited to be posting this

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interview today here for you. This time, I was interviewed by

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two youngsters from the UK, Elliot oaks and jack white with

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their podcast chatterbox. They got curious about my stance on

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feminism, and meditation. They wanted to know if meditation

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really helps with anxiety. And then we also chat about

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jealousy, social media, and how, yeah, we can learn to be less

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gentle, jealous, sorry, and more confident with ourselves. You

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will learn tons about me. And yeah, I'm excited to sharing

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this episode with you. Those two guys did a wonderful job.

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They're great podcast host. Make sure to check them out.

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chatterbox on Spotify, Apple podcast, and wherever you can

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find

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podcasts.

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Should we be blaming an entire gender for what this one man has

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done? Of course not. Some listeners may find the following

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podcast disturbing Viewer discretion is advised. Today we

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are joined with Aurora who is the host of the Borealis

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experience.

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Hello, hello. And yeah, thank you so much for reaching out to

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me and for having me on your podcast. I feel very excited and

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honored to be here with you.

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It's lovely to have you're really, really is. So do you

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mind telling us a little bit about yourself, then? I mean,

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where did you start? What do you do? Who is Aurora?

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So Aurora is a very diverse person, I would say I was born

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and raised in Germany, and my family is French and German.

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That's why my accent is maybe not harsh German. I'm a

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physiotherapist who had to rethink her job now with COVID.

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So I came up with the idea of starting a podcast that is

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therapeutical. So I post meditations. And I invite guys

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onto my show. Who opened up about pain and disappointments,

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interest in Yeah, in doing so the listener is benefiting. And

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the person who's on my podcast has kind of a cathartic

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experience where they can release stress and pain from the

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past and move on.

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Yeah, I mean, that sounds like some really good stuff there. So

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how did he start that journey then? Because it doesn't sound

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like something that everybody kind of does. You know, how did

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you get involved in that? Um,

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I would say yeah, if we go a good decade back, I was raped.

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And after that horrible incidents, my whole relationship

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with with men, and yeah, dating changed. I have brothers and my

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relationship with my brothers and with my dad also got worse

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and worse. And I think it was my fear, my anger for men that I

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had after being raped. That totally changed my character.

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Also, I grew up in a family where the guys who are also

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very, like aggressive and dominance, so I also grew up

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with that mentality of Oh, man, that's never gonna dominate me

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like this. And so all the same, my my relationship with men was

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always troublesome and then being raped didn't hunger, of

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course.

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Yeah, I was just I was just gonna say, I mean, obviously,

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your podcast is very male orientated as well as the you

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interview a lot of male guests. You give a lot of advice to

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male, male people on females, of course. So what sort of,

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obviously, you had a hatred towards men, what sort of made

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you transition between having a hatred for men to now helping

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male oriented people,

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it all started because my relationship to my brother in my

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younger brother got worse and worse, and I felt like he didn't

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want me to be in his life anymore. And that was very

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painful. And then the me to movement 2018 make me realize

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that all those women like rebel now and open up about what

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happened to them, but then we're stuck in pain and resentment.

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And is that helping society? Is that helping ourselves? I don't

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think so. So what what can we do to heal our relationship with

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men to trust again, and I think that's when I came up with the

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idea to start interviewing men because I want to show to the

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world that there's so many, like good men out there. And we just

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have to start and focus on them. And taking our focus away from

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those aggressive bullies from people who are behaving wrong

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and dominating people treating them badly at their workplace

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and shift our attention to guys that are maybe a little shy or

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to two guys said, Yeah, I feel like they're not good enough to

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start dating. And yeah, it's been very successful, like the

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guys who come to my show open up, and there's other guys

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listening and are like, Oh, that's cool. That's the new

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masculinity to open up and to be vulnerable. And women who are

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listening are like, Oh, shit, yeah, maybe I I have to start

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healing, maybe I have to start to forgive and give a man a

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chance. And, yeah,

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so sorry to hear that happened to Aurora. You know, we're so

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grateful you opens up about that absolutely horrific past event.

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And it's interesting how you turn that extremely tragic

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thing. And I know that even the worst are described as discussed

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in us. Yeah, by you turn that event around to change the

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perspective towards men, you know, it's truly remarkable. So

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is that then how you kind of got into the meditation side of

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things,

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meditation is probably the last thing that I wanted to learn,

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because, you know, I was always very anxious, very restless, and

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even, like, aggressive. A lot of women who go through trauma like

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this, like shift into the masculinity and the aggressive

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way of living approaching life, and we totally reject the soft

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and kind, feminine energy. So meditation started out to be

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just two minutes a day, sit there with my thoughts with my

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feelings, and then to go back to whatever I was doing. But

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meditation really confronts you with what do you are trying to

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run away from Actually, I was uncomfortable. But then the more

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I did it, the more I was kind of being okay with that, and

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allowing it more and more. And so it was a very, like, baby

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steps that I had to use to start out meditating. And yeah, it's

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doing me Well, no. And I want to share this with people who, who

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still feel like they can't do it. They're to rest us because I

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was there. And I know how hard it is. And I tried to, yeah,

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relate to people who are at that stage. For many

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of our listeners who might not meditate or never actually tried

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meditating themselves. What would you say to them? What what

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are the benefits to meditation,

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so I can just talk about my experience, and it is making you

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aware of what your monkey mind you know, your mind your racing

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thoughts is all about that is always with you, you can

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distract yourself with Netflix or porn or with binge eating

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food, but it's always there in the background sucking energy

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from you. So a lot of people feel drained right now. And they

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don't know why they're sitting at home. But it is their brain.

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Second energy from this system, because it's an over like

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stimulating mode, it is costing you so much energy to think

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about all these things that we think about. And when you are on

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the internet, social media or watch the news, you always have

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thoughts or opinions about something. Your monkey mind is

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always judging, opinionated and wants to like, yeah, be there

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and have an opinion. And when you sit down and meditation, you

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can calm all this down, you can bring all your anxiety, your

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anger or depression down and look at it. And from there, you

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can reach like mental space. So to say that you can sort through

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stuff, like, do I really want to have these thoughts, because you

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are not your thoughts, your thoughts are just like something

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blabbering on the whole day. And you can direct your thoughts you

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can think of a river you can think of petting your cat or

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hugging your dad or something. You can you can use your mind as

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a tool instead of your mind using you. And this is what I

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learned was meditation is to tame that monkey mind and turn

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the volume down and tell it what I want my brain to think about

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and not the The other way around, for sure, meditation

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definitely sounds like one of those things where it's

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definitely the best thing in order to achieve peace than

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yourself.

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I mean, just kind of relate it back to myself a couple for a

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second tier is that I use an app called calm, and I do anywhere

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from a 10 to 14 minute meditation session before bed,

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like I can't really sleep unless I do meditation. So I've kind of

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seen the benefits to meditation. And there has got a lot of

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stigma where you think that, Oh, you do one meditation session,

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and then you're going to be like a guru, you're going to be

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completely calm. For me anyway, it's taken me nearly four to

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five months to finally fully understand it, and then

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integrate it within my day to day life. So would you say then

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that Aurora, that meditation is the ultimate way in order to

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achieve peace within ourselves?

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I would say like besides exercising, and eating well,

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that Yeah, reflecting and realizing what's going on in

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your head. And clearing stuff out, that doesn't serve you

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anymore, is very, very beneficial. Because this life

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we're living in. Right now, this world is very fast paced, we

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have distractions at every corner. And meditation kind of

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brings you back to yourself, and you can go back to your dreams,

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go back to how you feel. And from there, you can go out into

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the world and be way more confident and solid with who you

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are. And then you make better decisions for yourself, too.

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I don't know if you know much about what's happening in the

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UK. It happened in March, actually, this year. And it was

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a very devastating case about a lady called Sarah everhard, who

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was kidnapped and murdered by a police officer in the UK. I

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don't know if you know anything about that. No, this is crazy.

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So so it sparked a lot of controversy and protests in the

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UK, surrounding women feeling safe in public places. And these

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protests are still going rightfully so. And it sparked a

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lot of hatred towards men as well, because it was a male

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police officer that committed these horrendous acts. And

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everyone's now blaming all of men for for what this one man

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has done? I mean, is this sort of the right way of going about

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things? Should we be blaming an entire gender because of

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something that a small statistic of men has done? Is this

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something we should be doing?

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Of course, not like, we're hurting ourselves and behaving

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that way, and we have to see that there is a couple of foul

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apples, but we as women, this is what makes me so angry about

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modern feminism, we cannot think that we can address that problem

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by ourselves. We have to do it together as a team, we have to

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to unite with guys out there who are there to protect us and who

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are there. You know, yeah, as a team, I cannot say it in a

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different word. Because those guys have to be called out. And

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I'm sure that I know like you guys for instance, it must be

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terrifying and so like bad for your mental health to know that

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now every man is being like, looked at differently. Like it

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is totally scary and no, this has to stop and it has to be

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seen as a rotten apple that did something horrible but it has

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nothing to do with his gender Yeah,

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yeah cuz because because politicians are actually

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bringing it up in the House of Commons now, which is the the

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main place where laws are established in the UK, and

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they're actually on about current viewing men now limiting

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them to a specific time where they can go out socialize go to

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work I'm sure there'll be expectations if something like

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this was to was to come about it's it was a lady It was a

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Baroness I think her name was Jenny Jones. She brought it up

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in the House of Lords to say here let's make women safer by

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curfew men do you think that something like this should be

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happening?

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Yeah, it is very scary. It's scary how politicians and think

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that they have a solution to everything and it's harmful It

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is so harmful to to go about things that way because we lose

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you guys as support us then you guys who could protect us and

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who could, you know, help us to like being against that war of

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people who abuse their How do you say their power. We lose you

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because you've been locked up in your house now and and

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castrated. So to say

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is quite worrying to think how things are going to pan out in

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the future because we just don't know. So steering away from that

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topic for a second to discuss the concept of failure,

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specifically, where I'm not sure what you know, the end up

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disappointing others or yourself, I'm quite curious to

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know, have you got any tools and tips on how to overcome failure

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and self doubt through meditation.

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So if it's just yourself, and let's say, you started a

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business, you did it, because you believed in it, and your

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family told you from the start, this is gonna fail, you're,

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yeah, you suck at this, blah, blah, blah, then you have to

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know that you were brave enough to get out of your family and to

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start something new to be a pioneer. And to know that when

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you're pursuing your dreams and success, it is like the progress

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is never linear, you will have to go through failure in order

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to know that you want that goal that business 120%. So what I

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like to do then, is to reframe the thought and the feeling

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around failure and see it as a test. My God, How often have I

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been tested for the four months now with my podcast, if I really

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wanted to do it, you know, my technology failed. My self doubt

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creeped up on me. And I just kept meditating and telling

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myself, this is just a test. And I have to continue being on that

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path. If I have the intention to better myself, or support other

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people, and bring value to this world, of course, if you are on

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a path of self destruction, or harming other people, or

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stealing from other people, it is the universe telling you

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Okay, you should get the fuck out of that, because this is not

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good. But if your intentions are right, and you encounter

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failure, just see it as a test. And would you say rejection is a

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type of failure? rejection? While there's many types of

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rejection? When it comes to dating? It's, of course very

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painful. Is it in dating you were referring to or just?

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Yeah, so I mean, being rejected? I mean, let's say you rejected a

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job, you rejected a partner, like you just said to dating?

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Would you say this is a failure? Or is this something that we

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should be living up to? Or what would you think

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i think it's something that we should said on end and reflect

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about because sometimes we're being rejected by a potential

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partner, because they can sense something inside of us that is

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not matching with them. So for instance, if you are a guy who

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wants to get married and have kids, and you start dating a

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girl who's super pretty, but her intentions are just having fun,

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and sex and everything, she wants sense pretty quickly that

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you want something else, and she might reject you, not because of

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your looks, but because she feels that vibe, that is not

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much in hers. So again, just like with failure, I would stand

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and reframe rejection, and also see if you apply for job, like,

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Is it really the job that I want? Or is that rejection,

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trying to tell me something about myself? Not that I'm a bad

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person or a failure, but maybe I'm digging at the wrong hole,

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maybe I should look for something that is more in

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attunement with what I really want. Because sometimes

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rejections are just the little, like sting before you meet your

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dream partner before you get to your dream job. And that

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rejection, in the moment feels super shitty. But the next day

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or the week after you realize, oh, if I didn't have that

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rejection, I would have never met that person or have the

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opportunity for that job.

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Yeah, I mean, I know you focused on rejection quite a lot in your

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podcast revenue. I mean, what's your sort? What's your

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experiences with rejection? I mean, any good any bad

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experiences in your life?

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Yeah, I always took rejection very, very personal because I

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was very insecure with who I was. I was bullied at school. So

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that doesn't help with self esteem. So I was sad, or it's

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because I'm not good enough. It's because yeah, I'm reaching

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for too big of a dream. And it's, it was not that I was just

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reaching for a dream that was not an alignment with with

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myself. I was trying to do something that was going to

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please my parents, that was going to please society. And

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obviously, I was not meant to do that. I was meant to do

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something else. So looking back now I see. Rejection was there.

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to kind of give me the right level slab to, to keep me going

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into the right direction, different direction. But back

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then it was very hard to sit there and to feel like our every

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door is being closed in front of my door and nose.

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Yeah, I mean, like you said that rejection is probably one of the

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most painful emotions as as humans can like, kind of go

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through. I mean, I've been through it several times, jack,

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I'm not sure if you have. But yeah, it certainly took its toll

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on me for sure. But you know, rejection can happen at any age,

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though, right? Totally does it affect people at different ages

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differently,

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I would say, if he learned with age to, to see it, like to

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reframe it and to see it as Okay, well, it was not meant to

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be then. But it has nothing to do with my value. With my love

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ability. I think you can learn to be more resilient, and to

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kind of smirk a little bit in your 20s in your teens, is

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extremely tough, because you still don't really know who you

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are. And you don't know what the rejection is about. And we

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oftentimes just make it about our self worth. And I would love

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to help people and and make them see that it's, it's nothing to

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do with their self worth.

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But another thing of ganja. Gosh, I was just gonna say,

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being young is the best time to be rejected because you know,

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you've got plenty of time to, to, to work at that and move on,

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you know. And I think like, like Elliott was just saying that,

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you know, we've all been rejected, and I'm sure you have

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as well, or you were just mentioning that as well. And

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it's just something it's part of life, and you've just got to

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learn to move on. And they'll always be something, you know,

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better that comes along the way anyway. So

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yeah, and maybe one last little thing there. Like, sometimes

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just have the intention when you wake up in the morning, and tell

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yourself today I'm going to go for rejection. Today, I'm going

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to do things where I know, I might face a rejection. But I'm

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just going to care, I'm just going to be confident I'm going

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to be myself and ask. And let's see how that's gonna

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get him. I was just mentioned there about teenagers. For some

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odd reason, it just makes me think about the whole comparison

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game. You know, don't get me wrong, it does happen with

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adults as well. But especially with an increase in social

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media. Now, I do feel that jealousy in comparison is just

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kind of on the increase. So the question I'm trying to get out

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here is effectively How can people start to feel more at

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peace with who they are?

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Mm hmm. So jealousy is always a sign that you're insecure with

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yourself. So let's say that girl who has such pretty hair, who is

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so confident and she has so many friends, I see her on on social

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media and become jealous because I'm the opposite. I feel well,

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maybe I could start feeling inspired. Instead of being

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jealous, and inspired, not in a way that I'm going to copy and

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paste now everything she does, but maybe see that she truly

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loves herself. She's truly confident with herself and see

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what can I do to feel that way? So it has to look like

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initially, like going back to who am I? And what do I want in

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life, and then to know that as soon as you know what you want,

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you will also have that radiant and beautiful expression that is

Unknown: 00:23:37

so attractive to people. You see, like oftentimes we feel

Unknown: 00:23:41

like it is the physicality, like the physical appearance that is

Unknown: 00:23:46

so attractive, but it's actually what people are radiating.

Unknown: 00:23:49

They're radiating. I feel good. I know who I am. I know what I

Unknown: 00:23:55

want. And you can get there too. And it has nothing to do. Again,

Unknown: 00:24:01

with putting makeup on and starting to paint your nails. Or

Unknown: 00:24:05

for guys starting excessively to to work out. It has all to do

Unknown: 00:24:10

with find what brings you joy. And as soon as you're doing that

Unknown: 00:24:15

on a daily basis, you will have that attractiveness and attract

Unknown: 00:24:20

people.

Unknown: 00:24:21

Wow. Yeah, you know, I just need to start making notes. Because I

Unknown: 00:24:24

mean, this is really really interested. I was saying to the

Unknown: 00:24:27

last guests we had as well I need to bring a notepad to these

Unknown: 00:24:29

podcasts. She do jack Yeah, I know. But um, Aurora, obviously

Unknown: 00:24:36

you're your yoga slash meditation. Personal Trainer. Is

Unknown: 00:24:40

that the way to say it? Yeah, yes. So so I'm guessing you're

Unknown: 00:24:43

dealing with plenty of people, plenty of clients. What's it

Unknown: 00:24:46

like now during the pandemic, I'm guessing is a lot less

Unknown: 00:24:49

clients you've suddenly got and it's a lot more difficult to get

Unknown: 00:24:52

work. I mean, what was it like?

Unknown: 00:24:54

I was horrible because I had to shut everything down and sit

Unknown: 00:24:58

with myself. And then everything crept up on me again, what I was

Unknown: 00:25:04

successfully running away from. So now I can slowly have clients

Unknown: 00:25:10

again, but not as before. And it's okay. We have to be glad

Unknown: 00:25:16

and grateful. Sorry for what we have in the moment. And

Unknown: 00:25:20

yeah, for sure. And you just mentioned there about how during

Unknown: 00:25:24

the coronavirus pandemic, you kind of used your job in a way

Unknown: 00:25:26

to also distract you. Do you feel that distracting yourself?

Unknown: 00:25:30

is a healthy thing to do? Or do you think to avoid the problem?

Unknown: 00:25:33

Or do you think you should face the problem face on? Yeah, I

Unknown: 00:25:36

think there's a fine line between healthy distraction and

Unknown: 00:25:42

self destructive distraction. So when you're really actively

Unknown: 00:25:47

trying to run away from something, I know myself, and I

Unknown: 00:25:52

know how I tend to run away from realities that have to be faced.

Unknown: 00:25:58

So this is why when COVID came, I was like, Okay, well, now I

Unknown: 00:26:02

know what to do. I have to sit down and reflect and let go of

Unknown: 00:26:09

stuff that is still weighing me down. Yeah, so I think if you

Unknown: 00:26:15

become self aware, if you start to get to know yourself, you

Unknown: 00:26:19

will know right away, if you distracting yourself from

Unknown: 00:26:22

something, or if you're just enjoying life and not trying to

Unknown: 00:26:27

get like too hung up on on something. Do you know what I

Unknown: 00:26:31

mean?

Unknown: 00:26:32

Yeah, for sure. And as we were just talking about social media,

Unknown: 00:26:35

and the whole comparison game, do you believe in what promotes

Unknown: 00:26:38

them because you know, it's inevitable that people are going

Unknown: 00:26:40

to get affected in different ways? I'm just curious to know,

Unknown: 00:26:43

are you for or against social media,

Unknown: 00:26:45

I would say I'm totally for social media. But I feel that we

Unknown: 00:26:49

should all and that's not just for teenagers, we should all

Unknown: 00:26:53

learn how to use it better, in order to be aware how it affects

Unknown: 00:26:59

our mental health. So what I started doing is that I started

Unknown: 00:27:05

setting myself at a time and then always have like an

Unknown: 00:27:10

intention, why am I going on social media, or because I want

Unknown: 00:27:14

to message My friend, you know, because then you don't get too

Unknown: 00:27:17

lost to give yourself a guidance. And then to stick to

Unknown: 00:27:22

those guides, and then put your foot up, sorry, phone away, and

Unknown: 00:27:28

go on with your life and know that you have to have a hobby in

Unknown: 00:27:33

the outside world, be it a sport, be a painting, be it

Unknown: 00:27:36

music, whatever it is where you want to put your main focus. And

Unknown: 00:27:42

social media is just a little addition. It's just nice to keep

Unknown: 00:27:47

connected with our friends. But to kind of boil the importance

Unknown: 00:27:51

down. Yeah, that's what I would suggest. I don't know if it's

Unknown: 00:27:57

doable, or if it makes sense. But this is how I go about it.

Unknown: 00:28:01

Well, yeah,

Unknown: 00:28:01

definitely sounds like a way to maybe deal with social media

Unknown: 00:28:04

addiction and stuff like that, you know, it sounds like a

Unknown: 00:28:06

really good idea. And there are so many social medias out there

Unknown: 00:28:09

as well. Now everyone's on everything, you got LinkedIn,

Unknown: 00:28:11

you've got Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, I can't go out enable

Unknown: 00:28:15

the others. But there's so many, and people are dedicating most

Unknown: 00:28:19

of their lives to social media nowadays, and they are, it is

Unknown: 00:28:22

their life for some people as well. And I guess I could be bad

Unknown: 00:28:25

for your mental health. Totally.

Unknown: 00:28:27

And you know, what helped me too is that you can see that there

Unknown: 00:28:32

is consumers and creators. So the consumer is the person who

Unknown: 00:28:37

always scrolls and becomes jealous. And the Creator, of

Unknown: 00:28:41

course, can do the same and be jealous and look at competition.

Unknown: 00:28:45

But the creator can start and only focus on her or his

Unknown: 00:28:49

content, like you guys are maybe doing with the podcast. Now.

Unknown: 00:28:53

When you go on, you post your content, and you create content

Unknown: 00:28:59

for others, instead of being a consumer, because I feel the

Unknown: 00:29:03

creatives out there. There might be addicts too. But they have a

Unknown: 00:29:08

different kind of effect on it has a different effect on their

Unknown: 00:29:13

mental health. Because they are putting something out there. Do

Unknown: 00:29:20

you know what I mean? Yeah, 100% shifting from being the passive

Unknown: 00:29:25

consumer into I'm creating something, I'm putting something

Unknown: 00:29:30

out there that is a value for people. And then you feel

Unknown: 00:29:34

different about yourself too and more confident and know that,

Unknown: 00:29:39

okay, I'm actually doing something positive. And if you

Unknown: 00:29:42

don't want to be a creative if you just want to be a consumer,

Unknown: 00:29:46

then really check your time and check your intention and have a

Unknown: 00:29:52

hobby outside of Facebook that gives you a sense of self and a

Unknown: 00:29:57

good feeling.

Unknown: 00:29:59

You know what Just before we end, I thought it might be a

Unknown: 00:30:02

really good idea to see whether or not we could actually go

Unknown: 00:30:06

through a meditation session with you as our host. Would it

Unknown: 00:30:10

be something you'd be happy to do?

Unknown: 00:30:12

I would totally love to do that. Especially if I know that you

Unknown: 00:30:16

are back in a comfortable space. And you can. Yeah, actually

Unknown: 00:30:21

enjoy it. I would love to guide you through a couple minutes

Unknown: 00:30:24

there.

Unknown: 00:30:24

Yeah, that'd be amazing. I think I think me and Elliot at the

Unknown: 00:30:26

moment, you know, uni life mortgages were stressed.

Unknown: 00:30:31

Alright. And I think I think it's good. That if we, you know,

Unknown: 00:30:34

we try something like this. And for someone like me as well, who

Unknown: 00:30:37

doesn't meditate on a regular basis? I think it'd be really

Unknown: 00:30:40

interesting. You know, I might even take up meditation after

Unknown: 00:30:43

this. So yeah. Where do we start?

Unknown: 00:30:46

No pressure on me, then. That's awesome. Okay, you guys are

Unknown: 00:30:52

seated. You are comfortable where you are?

Unknown: 00:30:55

Yes. Let me adjust. I'm currently driving. Is that okay?

Unknown: 00:30:58

or? Yeah. So I mean, yeah, go ahead.

Unknown: 00:31:04

All right, what I usually tell my people is, so you feel your

Unknown: 00:31:08

sit bones on the floor or on the chair you're sitting on, right.

Unknown: 00:31:14

So now you can adjust your pelvis through your sit bones,

Unknown: 00:31:19

you can kind of bring your pelvis forward so that your

Unknown: 00:31:23

lower back arches a little bit. And then you can roll it

Unknown: 00:31:27

backwards, and then you kind of slouch. I want your pelvis. So

Unknown: 00:31:31

you have your feet if you see that grounded on the floor, and

Unknown: 00:31:36

you adjust your pelvis, just like we said, so that you have a

Unknown: 00:31:39

little bit of an arch and your lower back. And you will see or

Unknown: 00:31:45

feel right away that your spine is straight. So now roll your

Unknown: 00:31:50

shoulders up and back, your shoulders up and back, he let

Unknown: 00:31:54

your shoulders rest there and your spine is now in a very

Unknown: 00:31:57

straight position without any big effort without any big

Unknown: 00:32:01

muscle engagement. You can have your hands open up to the sky

Unknown: 00:32:06

resting on your thighs. Or you can have your hands for a more

Unknown: 00:32:10

grounding sensation, facing down, holding your knees or your

Unknown: 00:32:15

thigh kind of thing. And then you close your eyes, if that

Unknown: 00:32:20

feels comfortable. If not, you keep them open. And you start

Unknown: 00:32:27

noticing your breath. Usually, when we're anxious, the breath

Unknown: 00:32:31

is very shallow. When we're doing work, like for university

Unknown: 00:32:36

or social media, the breath gets really shallow. So just notice

Unknown: 00:32:42

your breath. Don't try to change it just focus in on your breath.

Unknown: 00:32:52

And the breath is the number one tool that can help you regulate

Unknown: 00:32:56

stress. So when we breathe shallow, our system our body is

Unknown: 00:33:03

kind of in a survival mode and doesn't know Okay, what kind of

Unknown: 00:33:07

stress are we dealing with. As soon as your breathing goes

Unknown: 00:33:10

deeper down into your belly, your body starts to relax and

Unknown: 00:33:16

your mind starts to relax to in return. So now relax the muscles

Unknown: 00:33:26

around your eyes, your jaw and your neck. Have your chin

Unknown: 00:33:33

slightly tact so that your neck is nice and elongated. And then

Unknown: 00:33:39

come back to your breath. And then of course your monkey mind

Unknown: 00:33:43

is going to kick in and be like, Oh my god, how long is that

Unknown: 00:33:46

going to take? Why am I doing this? I want to do something

Unknown: 00:33:50

else. And just know that this is perfectly normal. Every person

Unknown: 00:33:55

who meditates has these thoughts, they just don't talk

Unknown: 00:33:59

about it. And then maybe you're thinking about your to do list

Unknown: 00:34:07

or about a fight that you had. But come back to your breath.

Unknown: 00:34:12

Know that all these things can wait. And usually when we're

Unknown: 00:34:17

anxious, we're overwhelmed with too many thoughts. But know that

Unknown: 00:34:24

taking those couple minutes can give you so much relaxation. And

Unknown: 00:34:31

afterwards, you can be even more productive. And every time when

Unknown: 00:34:39

I stopped talking, notice your monkey mind kicking in again,

Unknown: 00:34:44

wanting to do something else. And you just bring it back to

Unknown: 00:34:48

your breath. Know that you're doing something good for

Unknown: 00:34:52

yourself. For your mental health. Maybe you can feel

Unknown: 00:35:00

Already that your anxiety levels are going down.

Unknown: 00:35:07

And if not, that's perfectly normal to focus back into your

Unknown: 00:35:17

breath, relaxed the muscles around your eyes. And what I

Unknown: 00:35:29

like to do sometimes is to go into birds perspective, and to

Unknown: 00:35:33

look down onto myself.

Unknown: 00:35:37

And to

Unknown: 00:35:40

sent myself some gratitude. Thank you for doing this. Thank

Unknown: 00:35:47

you for allowing some time. Thank you for always trying,

Unknown: 00:35:55

never giving up. Thank you for believing in myself. And when I

Unknown: 00:36:12

say these things, see how your monkey mind reacts? Because your

Unknown: 00:36:16

monkey mind might be saying, Oh my god, like she doesn't even

Unknown: 00:36:18

know me. What is this, I'm not worthy of this. And you just put

Unknown: 00:36:25

it like, turn the volume down of that little devil again. And if

Unknown: 00:36:30

you're perfectly fine, and then peace, then you're a bad as

Unknown: 00:36:35

meditator already.

Unknown: 00:36:43

Now bring your hands to heart center and kind of a prayer

Unknown: 00:36:47

position in front of your heart. Maybe even press your thumbs

Unknown: 00:36:54

into your sternum into your heart. Maybe you can feel your

Unknown: 00:36:59

heartbeat. And then you bowed down a little bit, just your

Unknown: 00:37:05

head a little bit down towards your hands.

Unknown: 00:37:13

and say thank you for making that time for myself. Thank you

Unknown: 00:37:18

for being here. Thank you for taking care of myself. must

Unknown: 00:37:26

stay. Wow. I love that.

Unknown: 00:37:35

Thank you so much. Well, I actually I'm feeling really

Unknown: 00:37:38

tired after that. I'm already feeling relaxed. And I did a

Unknown: 00:37:43

fast because I do it during bed time. And my brain is thinking,

Unknown: 00:37:46

Oh, it's time to sleep now. But the bird's eye perspective

Unknown: 00:37:49

thing. I've not heard about that before. That's something that's

Unknown: 00:37:51

super interesting to me. I know I do, given the thought positive

Unknown: 00:37:56

thoughts yourself. But never a bird eye perspective. That's a

Unknown: 00:37:59

really interesting technique that that I'll definitely add

Unknown: 00:38:02

into my little regime. While the end, thanks for ever so much for

Unknown: 00:38:06

joining us there all the stuff you spoke about. I mean, you're

Unknown: 00:38:09

such a powerful man yourself. Such a inspiration as the stuff

Unknown: 00:38:14

you've been through is truly magnificent to who has shaped

Unknown: 00:38:18

you to become who you are today. And I can't thank you enough for

Unknown: 00:38:20

joining us today on this podcast.

Unknown: 00:38:22

Thank you so so much for having me and for connecting. I'm very

Unknown: 00:38:26

grateful. Yeah, to have that time with you to connect with

Unknown: 00:38:31

you. And I'm hoping that our content here is being received.

Unknown: 00:38:36

Well,

Unknown: 00:38:36

thank you so much, Aurora. Thank you. And stay tuned for the

Unknown: 00:38:39

chatterbox podcast where we will be broadcasting every week on

Unknown: 00:38:42

Monday. So please do get in touch. And please do follow us

Unknown: 00:38:45

on Twitter at the chatterbox where we'll keep you informed.

Unknown: 00:38:48

Thank you so much for listening. Take care, and good night.

Unknown: 00:38:55

Yay. Thank you so much for listening to the Borealis

Unknown: 00:38:58

experience. And yeah, that was Elliot and Jake. I will have

Unknown: 00:39:04

them on my show here. The Borealis experience very soon to

Unknown: 00:39:10

ask them. Yeah. What are young people, young guys in the UK

Unknown: 00:39:17

going through? And how can we support men better. Thank you so