ep.37 For men- Attractiveness and confidence [self-worth]

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Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

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your host Aurora. And if you want to find a place where you

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can rest and relax, unwind from a busy day, and recharge your

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batteries, this is the perfect place for you. Today I want to

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talk about attractiveness. The other day I started a poll on

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Facebook, where I asked you guys how attractive you feel. And I

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was shocked.

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Only 60% of

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the people who replied feel attractive and 40% feel

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unattractive, even ugly. And then I look at the pictures, and

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I can't see anything wrong. And I know most of the people who

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said they feel unattractive. So I feel a deep urge now today to

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post an episode for you guys for when you feel unattractive.

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Please, if you are not connected with me on Facebook, add me My

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name is Aurora Eggert or join the Facebook group. That's a

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good idea to warriors among us. And there you can request

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episodes from me like my friends to already and I can Yeah, fine

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tune the episodes for your needs a little better. So let's talk

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about attractiveness. What is attractiveness? I think

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attractiveness is so subjective. And sometimes we get too caught

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up in ideals In comparison, we compare ourselves to people and

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only see the very best part of them, and don't really see their

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flaws, right, we put others on a pedestal and make ourselves

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small. And that is very, very wrong to do because in doing so,

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your self esteem just gets smaller and smaller and you feel

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the need to hide more and more. And less and less people will

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know about you and know that you're out there and available

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and lovable. So this episode is so dear to my heart, because for

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the longest time, I felt very unattractive and not lovable at

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all. And I will share with you some hacks. And hopefully, right

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after this episode, you can feel empowered again and good about

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yourself. So just know that this episode is more for guys and for

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girls. So let's start. Just know that girls don't judge guys by

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the same measures, then guys, Judge girls, so a woman wants to

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feel safe, and wants to feel attractive. A woman wants to

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feel that you're interested in her. Most of all, of course,

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physical attractiveness is always important. But know that

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to make a woman feel safe. If you have a couple extra pounds,

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it just makes you feel even or makes you look even more like

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someone who can protect you. And if it's too many pounds, if you

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think you're really overweight, then there's people out there

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too, who are attracted to that, I feel that for everything. For

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every person, there is a counterpart. And you have to be

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okay with what you have, and even proud with what you have,

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and not be scared that he will be rejected with what you got to

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offer. Because on a very deep level people choose their

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partners by scent, the scent of your body and by how you make

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them feel. And if you feel that you are a little overweight or

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too skinny, then that is one thing but the other big thing is

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how do you make that person feel when you are in her presence, or

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his presence. Of course we're not talking just straight people

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here. So a woman will have a look at your eyes at your face

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at your hands, your four arms. And I'm pretty sure tonight if

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you look into the mirror, you can find at least one or two

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things that are super attractive and that no other human being

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has on that planet Earth. So you cannot To judge yourself only by

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your physical appearance, and just know that other people will

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judge you by totally different measures. So why not, start

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accepting yourself and be good with yourself, and drop all that

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bullshit. And waste that time that precious time and accept

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yourself right now where you're at. When it comes to body

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weight, I learned a very, very important thing.

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Namely, that your body is a perfect mirror of how you feel

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inside. So how he looked from the outside is a perfect

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reflection of how you feel inside. And when it comes to

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weight gain when it comes to obesity. Your body is trying to

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protect you from something. And can you go back to that point in

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your life where you felt threatened where you felt

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scared, where you felt you needed an extra layer of

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protection? Can you go back to that point? Or is it too far

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back. And then another thing is, how were you conditioned when it

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comes to food. One big exam example is you had your mother,

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closest friend, really good relationship, and your dad was

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maybe more away and working hard and not really present in your

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life. And every time you had a night off time with your mom,

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you guys decided to watch a movie and open a can of pub and

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eat chips and gummy bears. And you do that every time you

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connect with your mom on a deeper level. And when you feel

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deep comfort. So now that you moved out and live by yourself,

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of course, every time you feel stressed out or you need

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comfort, your brain, your emotional body, your your

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internal compass, let's say will drive you to the fridge and let

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you grab that pop, and that chips and the gummy bears. And

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you want to watch a movie because on a very deep level, it

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reminds you of those comforting memories with your mother back

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then. And this is just one example you might have been

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conditioned very differently when it comes to food. But it

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doesn't matter, it's still highly influences your

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relationship to food nowadays. So if you feel you need to lose

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weight if you feel ugly, because you have too much weight on one

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thing first, know that there's people out there who are highly

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attracted to more heavier guys, because you guys look like he

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can protect us better. And if you are too skinny, if you feel

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uncomfortable on your skin, know that there is a girl or a guy

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out there who's super attracted to your body and wants to

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connect with you. And he or she doesn't judge you by the

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measures, you judge yourself. And when it comes to weight

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gain, there's also maybe something that happened in your

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childhood, where now if your constant fear and your thyroid

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and your metabolism is running at a weight too fast of a pace

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to burn all your calories at once when you eat, right,

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there's people who can eat and eat and eat and they just don't

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gain weight. They usually have something that is stressing them

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out on their hardware. Yeah, not on the superficial level. But on

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a very deep level, they might have experienced something that

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stresses them out to this day. And that influences their body

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to this day. And that's why they can gain weight. And if there's

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nothing that ever bugged you, and if your body is just a more

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skinnier type, then again, please know that there is

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someone out there who will be deeply attracted to your

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beautiful eyes, your sensitive hands, the tone of your voice,

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your scent. There's so much more than just the image in the

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mirror that you see every morning. And with my podcast

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here I also want to start and change your relationship to

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yourself because I feel a lot of people out there has such an

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harsh opinion about their physical appearance, and about

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how they feel about themselves or overhaul. And with this

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podcast, I want to make you aware of those thought loops

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that you engage in on a daily that don't serve you anymore.

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That just make you feel small and shitty about yourself. And

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don't make you want to go out there and get

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that girl. Get that date. Get that job. Get that awesome

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adventure that you deserve. All right. That was it for today.

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Thank you so much for listening to the Borealis experience. I'm

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your host Aurora and I care deeply about how you feel and

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how you are. I hope I can bring you peace into your life. I hope

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you can feel better about yourself after this episode.

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Please connect with me over Facebook and send me some more

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requests about what you need to hear.