Ep. 36 Cerebral Palsy ain't gonna hold this warrior and aspiring author back. [w/ Anthony Sicilia ]

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Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora, life coach and companion

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on this beautiful journey called life. And I'm very excited to

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introduce you to Anthony Secilia today, a friend of mine who is

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an author,

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a really bad as author, I was honored to read into his book.

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Already that has not been published yet. It's called the

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footprints of funny feet. And it's a book written to dedicated

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to Anthony's nieces. And it is so

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very touching. And it is so exciting to read and funny story

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because you don't really

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know who he is, until you start reading and I feel you really

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get to know Anthony through his words. And yeah, we want to talk

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about his book today, we want to talk about his experience.

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During COVID. It was a very intense one, like for many

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people who are listening.

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But let's start with you, Anthony, and your beautiful book

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here. Welcome to the show.

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Thanks for having me. I appreciate your time today. Yes,

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you are so welcome. And I'm happy to get to know you in

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person here over zoom.

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So I didn't read the book back to back, of course, because

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there was not enough time. But I started reading at the point

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where you talk about Nero, your dad, and the relationship that

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you had with your dad. And I can relate very well. I love my my

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dad to pieces, but we also had very dark moments and difficult

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situations. But when I was reading about you and your dad,

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I could really see feel and sense your anger and frustration

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with him.

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How were you able to to overcome these dark feelings with your

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dad? Or would you say are you still?

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Yeah, in a in a difficult relationship with him.

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So that's a very funny story.

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I was sent to the ICU a couple times. And

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I was put in there because of blood loss. And

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I think I was there for about five days on interviewed is

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because I had lost like nearly half my blood. I had lost about

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80 units of blood, because I was just getting sick so often.

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But when I was in ICU,

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I called my uncle

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from Italy

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because they offered to do a endoscopy to see where I was

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bleeding. And

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my uncle called my father

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to

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go to the hospital to pick me up. Because I was pretty weak at

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the time and then my

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mother walked in. I think I was void as a ghost because you had

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to remember I just lost so much blood and

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my father

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suspecting that I would die.

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Basically apologize for everything he did.

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And that kind of snapped him out of the whole anger situation.

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Wow.

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Wow.

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So in face in the face of death. You suddenly had that really

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realisation Oh my God, what did I do? And can I can answer me

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Forgive me for it.

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Yeah. Holy shit.

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Yeah, it was quite a moment.

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Like I had I had nothing to say because I was too weak. Yeah.

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But like I heard him.

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Yeah, I heard him.

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I think he was trying. I think he was traumatized by the whole

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city.

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ration. Yeah.

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Like in general, like, they picked me up from the ICU vote

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five days later. And

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I just went home, and I sat on a chair and I just slept for like,

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a couple hours.

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And

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actually, I guess the hospital made a mistake. Because even

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though I lost blood, they forgot to say, well, you need some

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iron.

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You need some iron pills. So that I was going home, I was

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sleeping six, seven hours a day, for two weeks. When I said, I

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called up my doctor, I said, Why am I so exhausted? So then they

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did these

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blood tests on me, they're like, Oh, you only have 90 units, 100

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units of bloody. So we're going to put you on iron pills for the

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next three months. I said, Okay, that's fine. And

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so I went on iron pills for the next three months. And then

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after that, it was like, 160 units of blood, which is quite

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healthy.

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And then I slowly recovered from there.

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But

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yeah, like the whole experience of me having ulcers basically

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traumatize my parents enough to actually like, not physically

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bend to their knee, but emotionally bend their knee, and

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be like, we're gonna lose this kid. So we better make make

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things right before we don't have a chance to.

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That is so incredibly beautiful. And isn't it so crazy how it

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takes

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dramatic circumstances for a person to snap out of a mold.

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And at the same time, it's awesome. It's so great. But I

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also think fit doesn't always have to get to that point, I

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guess. I guess. So. I guess so.

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I guess for some people, you know, stubbornness. Italian.

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Yeah.

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But this is so great. This is this is very beautiful, that,

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that you were able to experience that and I'm sure for you

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emotionally. It gave you so much strength to hold on to life and,

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and to keep fighting for your health. And now Now you're doing

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way better, right? Yeah, I'm doing so much better. Yeah. So I

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had I had, I had separated my hip. While I was sleeping one

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night, I had a metal rod placed in my hip when I was in my early

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20s to restructure the bone

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because I had surgery related to my cerebral palsy.

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Well, in that surgery when I was when I was 20 years old, what

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they did was they went in and broke both my hips and placed

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metal rods in my head.

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Well, turns out 13 years later, the metal rod in one of the legs

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didn't didn't want to agree with the bone structures. So

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it dislocated one of the hips.

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And I woke up and pain and all that stuff. And so when I was in

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there in the hospital for hernia surgery,

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I had asked my thoracic surgery team if I could

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get some physical rehabilitation because at that point, after the

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hip injury, I walked in about four years.

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So I didn't want

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I lost the ability to walk in 2018 and I haven't walked since

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on my own without any aids or anything like that. So even

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though I have cerebral palsy, I'm pretty independent, and I

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walk

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pretty independently on my own without any support at all.

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That being said about I'm actually pretty tough on my

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bones because of that, but I'm also very stubborn because they

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don't want to rely on AIDS. And you're Italian that doesn't help

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either right? Yeah

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I'm not going to cut this out.

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So when I when I had a physical

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rehabilitation inside the hospital there.

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They told me that I've been have rehabilitation for about two

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weeks. And then I asked if I can go to a rehab center to actually

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finish the progress.

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But they sent me there. But unfortunately, the progress

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wasn't enough to convince the people at the rehab center that

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the surgery was a good idea. I had planned surgery for a hip

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replacement in May. But when the other hospital got wind that my

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hernia first open, they wanted to delay the surgery until I was

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better. Yeah, of course.

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But then

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the thoracic surgeon said, you know, you can operate on him and

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so many days,

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they gave me a 60 day window to do to do a hip surgery.

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Because they had done the hernia surgery, and it was a success.

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And then

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my thoracic surgeon gave me the clearance to do the hip surgery.

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I had the hip surgery in March 24,

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for the removal of steel rod that was infecting my leg and

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causing bursitis.

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Now because I had severe arthritis,

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there was there's no point in just leaving the leg the way it

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was.

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So

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I was told by my hip surgeon that I would have two surgeries

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and it wouldn't be staged. The first surgery would be the

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removal of a steel rod. And the second surgery wouldn't be the

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the need for total hip replacement on the left side.

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And he said, Well, you're probably the youngest guy you've

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ever had, that we've ever had to operate on, because you're only

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36.

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And I told him, I told him, Look, I know, we both give me a

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bad rap because I'm young. And you know, they don't want to

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operate on me because I'm a young guy, and I may need

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surgery in the future. And that scares people, because how many

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replacements will they're going to need for a young guy like

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myself.

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So that's why most surgeons, they don't want to touch me. But

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I made a deal with the surgeon, I said, well,

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thank you for doing that surgery. But like if, if I'm in

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pain,

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like if the pain is radiating through my head, and it's

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limiting my mobility to move, then we're gonna have to look at

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the possibility of getting me ahead. Even though I am young,

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and I get it.

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But you have to realize that the circumstances behind me needing

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surgery is different from someone that's say, able bodied

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or 80 years old. People that are 80 years old and have arthritis,

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get more hip replacements than people with disabilities.

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Because some of the doctors just believe that

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they have to wait it out, but I'm not that type of individual.

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So, for me,

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I hadn't gone to my hip surgeon, I said look like I need it. I

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need a hip surgery, my grades are hurting, I can't move. It's

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taking me three or singing me two or three nurses to get to

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the bathroom. Like this is terrible. I'm 36 years old. If I

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wait 10 more years, it's going to be 10 times worse. I need

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this now like

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and I told him like I said people want ice cream. But I

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want it like I need it.

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I want ice cream. But I need it. Like if this was my choice. I

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wouldn't want it but all but these these are the

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circumstances that led me do that. So he says he says okay,

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yeah, we'll

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give you the hip. And then

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we had planned for December.

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Like December just passed and of course with the pandemic and the

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shutdown the government.

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The whole regular war with that. They got postponed and then I

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got into hockey

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He selling tickets and stuff like that.

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Just to get my mind off of

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waiting,

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I want to, I wanted to stay busy doing something

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during a pandemic.

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And I realized, hey, you know, I used to be a sports reporter at

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college. And it was a pretty good one. If I remember, now, I

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don't think I'll be able to go into the broadcast booth right

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down in my condition, but I can ensure sell tickets. So that's

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what I ended up doing.

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And then what happened is, is that

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the arena shut down. And then, you know, there's so many

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problems with the mandatory mandates, and Ottawa and all

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that stuff. So I just kind of stepped away from it and

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cleared up a few things with my book and

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went to town on that.

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But the book itself was like

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I think I started it in September of 2021.

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And I had finished

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in

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just after December.

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And I had the fortunate

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circumstance of having a local publisher here, that gave me

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incentive to actually give me a contact information for

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photographer, she was really nice. I was really nervous about

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having my photo taken.

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Only because I didn't know how things were gonna go. Like, I'm

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not nervous at all to get my photo taken. But physically, I

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was nervous, because, you know, I'm in a wheelchair, I didn't

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know how things were gonna go. I didn't know if I was gonna

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challenge challenger in some way, or I didn't know if she was

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gonna be like, No, can't photograph you.

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But she was so nice. She was like, no, no, no, step into my

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studio work around that. And I'm like, That's so nice. So I ended

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up doing that. And

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so then,

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from the photoshoot, we ended up

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where I ended up working with a publisher to finalize some

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things and, you know, get some details. And then I went back to

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my surgeons on both sides. And I said, I want to turn this into a

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book, because I've been through a lot of junk. I've been through

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a lot of trials

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of stuff.

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And I want to turn this into a book. Can I have permission from

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you guys? To take my medical information and put it into a

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book?

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Oh, yeah, sure. It's your medical information.

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So they gave me the medical information.

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i Oh, I unfortunately, you know, I'm not a doctor. So I've had to

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skim through it. And I've had to understand some things. And

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I've had to actually work alongside the publisher, so he

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can

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not make it so that it's so much medical jargon, so that the

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ordinary person can understand what's going on. Yeah. Damn it

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down.

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Yeah. Translated language in itself, right. Yeah.

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So he's been working with me for about, I want to say two or

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three months. And, you know, the Publishing Group is pretty

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fantastic.

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But I never understood how much publishing the book would take.

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It's a lot of stress.

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But it's certainly a lot of fun.

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It's just a lot of work. Yeah, certainly, I was able to put the

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work in, but I didn't realize how much work it would entail.

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But I'm glad I did it. Because if I went to say, a Simon and

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Schuster type,

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publisher or a Barnes and Noble type publisher, you know, they

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probably want to talk to my work and it in their own little spin

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on it without very little input from me. So I'm happy I kind of

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went independently and kind of went self publishing route.

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Because then I maintain the integrity of the book.

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So that

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At least 100%. Yeah, so it's the publisher asking the questions.

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You want this picture here and you want this picture there and

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you want. What about this information? What about this

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chapter. And so it's constant correspondence with the

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publisher. And we're working together, like,

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through the weeks and months. It's just great. It's

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challenging for both of us. But

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you know, that's,

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that's the end zones of creating book.

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So sweet.

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Yeah, and I read in your book, also, that

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it wasn't always clear that you were going to become an author,

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like you went to school for it for journalism. And you went

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through your travels there and encountered obstacles. But for

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some reason, being a writer is way stronger than the obstacles

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that you you faced. And I find this so beautiful and inspiring

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for people to know that if you have a dream, if you feel that

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mission is coming through you, nothing can stop you.

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Yeah. So a little story about my writing, like, you say, it's,

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it's great. But I can tell you, like 10 years ago, my writing

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was horrible. Like,

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I don't even know how I got through elementary school or

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high school because my writing was horrible. Even in college,

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my writing was horrible. It wasn't until

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my hand conference with a new with a news writing teacher that

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says, Anthony, your writing is horrible, but you have the

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passion to write. But you're just all over the map. I said,

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Well, I don't have the skill. I don't have the skills to do

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this. What are the skills? What are the like? Because when you

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write for news, you gotta read in a certain way. Yeah.

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It's not like, what did you do last summer? Like, you know,

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it's not like one of those three reports. So I had to learn that

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skill. It was a huge learning curve for me.

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Like, there was moments where I just wanted to say, Oh, this

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professor has no idea what he's talking about.

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But it turns out he did.

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So he ended up taking me aside is that if you can actually

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understand what's happening, so it could be a good writer.

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He's like, I know you have the passion for it. Because I see it

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in your writing. You just lack, like, grammar or

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sentence structure when it comes to news, because you probably

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have never been taught that. I said, bingo, you're right on I

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had never been taught how to write news.

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This is why you're the teacher. Yeah. And

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it got to the point where I was about ready to fail. Like, the

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teachers were about ready to fail me.

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And

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I said, No, no dough family. I really want to do this broadcast

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thing. I really want to go and have a life in sports Don't fail

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me yet. Like don't give up yet. Like if I have to read a book,

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like throughout the summer to understand like, how news is

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written in proper format, and then I will do that.

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And so

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I don't think the teacher gave

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gave it much thought.

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And he basically said, What, okay, I'll give you a shot.

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But he basically

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kind of ripped me off, not, not expecting that I would actually

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come back and prove him wrong. But I wasn't trying to prove him

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wrong. I was trying to understand what he was trying to

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teach him.

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So, in college, we had a lot of time off, we get time off in May

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and then we go back in September.

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Well, this is around the time when

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the procedure Jackson books were very, like very influential in

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society. And I know a lot of people were Harry Potter fans, I

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wasn't, but like, back in the day, I said a mythology with a

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friend of mine.

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So I said, if I can read the entire series, out loud, maybe I

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can understand how to write news.

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So that's what I did. I went home

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sat on my parents farm. And I read five books in one summer,

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out loud, outside and

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outside on a hammock. And they had said, my parents had said,

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what do you do? I said, I'm getting ready for school. I want

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to know how to write news properly.

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And then

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I came back in September, and I was given a couple tests on news

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writing, because we're given news writing assignments. Once a

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week, twice a week. And

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the professor scored me 71. And he's like, Oh, you did good.

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7585. And then by the fourth week is like, what do you do?

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Because your writing is improved, like, what have you

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done? I said, Well, I went home and I read three pathology out

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loud, is like, really? I see? Of course I did. You told me to be

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better writer. And this is the writing that I understood until

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I applied it to news, right. And from that, like, he didn't

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question my ability to write again. I said, No, it's good

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that you challenged me. Because if he didn't challenge me, I

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probably would have said, Forget it. It's not worth the effort.

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But I realize now that because I've had a great teacher, and

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great teachers in journalism, like they help write the book

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without even realizing it, because it's their skill that

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helped me write this book. Like, I can have all the passion in

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the world. But if, if you don't know how to write a book that is

Unknown: 00:26:52

struggling,

Unknown: 00:26:54

no, no. Ah, that is so beautiful. I just said

Unknown: 00:26:58

goosebumps all over my body. And it is.

Unknown: 00:27:03

It is so fascinating, those moments where we feel challenged

Unknown: 00:27:08

by another person. And at the same time, there is a part in us

Unknown: 00:27:12

that says, No, but actually, they're right. And actually, I

Unknown: 00:27:15

can accept the challenge. I'm not going to be a victim and cry

Unknown: 00:27:19

in my corner, I'm going to sit down and apply what is taught to

Unknown: 00:27:25

me, it also takes great teachers, yeah, if you had an

Unknown: 00:27:29

asshole, as a teacher, who would formulate it in a way that made

Unknown: 00:27:33

you feel shitty, and, you know, worthless, you might have not

Unknown: 00:27:38

picked up that challenge. And

Unknown: 00:27:41

but he had this, this talent to challenge you in the right way.

Unknown: 00:27:47

Not too much, not not too little. And you, you attacted

Unknown: 00:27:55

and tackled it and made something out of it. And I mean,

Unknown: 00:27:59

everybody who's reading books, there's always the

Unknown: 00:28:03

acknowledgments with the pre fast, where people mentioned

Unknown: 00:28:08

other people that helped them. And so it takes it takes a huge

Unknown: 00:28:13

team to create a book and not just a writer.

Unknown: 00:28:19

And you got to, you got to admit to yourself that you can do it

Unknown: 00:28:23

all you can do the perfect selfie, or you can do the

Unknown: 00:28:27

perfect illustrations, you need other people, and so nice to, to

Unknown: 00:28:34

reach out and then feel that people are on the same page and

Unknown: 00:28:39

love your mission. And this is how we met as well. Right? You,

Unknown: 00:28:44

you message to book and I'm excited for you. And now we're

Unknown: 00:28:48

creating this beautiful podcast episode together. And this is

Unknown: 00:28:53

how it all works. And it's it's beautiful. It's gorgeous.

Unknown: 00:28:59

Yeah, connecting. Yeah, like social, connecting through

Unknown: 00:29:03

social media.

Unknown: 00:29:05

You know, especially when it comes to a book is so important.

Unknown: 00:29:10

And I thought

Unknown: 00:29:12

I thought for years how am I going to write this book because

Unknown: 00:29:15

no one's going to write the story for me other than me

Unknown: 00:29:18

because no one can understand it other than me.

Unknown: 00:29:22

And I know I was in college and

Unknown: 00:29:26

I went to college a couple of times and the reason I say that

Unknown: 00:29:31

is because

Unknown: 00:29:34

cerebral palsy for people that don't know it can wear you will

Unknown: 00:29:39

pretty quick if you don't walk with any aids and like you said,

Unknown: 00:29:42

I'm Italian so I'm stubborn.

Unknown: 00:29:46

And my fiance was walking

Unknown: 00:29:55

that's fine.

Unknown: 00:29:57

So

Unknown: 00:29:59

you

Unknown: 00:30:01

So a lot of people don't realize this, that when you have CPE,

Unknown: 00:30:05

and you're not walking with AIDS, and I realized is a lot

Unknown: 00:30:09

later

Unknown: 00:30:10

that your body breaks down a lot faster.

Unknown: 00:30:16

It says if like you're competitive

Unknown: 00:30:20

your competitive figure in sports, the only way I equate it

Unknown: 00:30:24

is, I'm not a professional wrestler, but I think my body

Unknown: 00:30:28

treated me as though I was one. So I constantly got burnt out.

Unknown: 00:30:32

Because I was like treating my body like it was a runaway

Unknown: 00:30:37

train, I couldn't get enough food, couldn't get enough

Unknown: 00:30:40

calories, couldn't get enough proteins. And it felt that

Unknown: 00:30:44

sometimes my body was like a running Ferrari.

Unknown: 00:30:50

And I just,

Unknown: 00:30:51

so I constantly got rundown. And then I developed

Unknown: 00:30:58

a sense of gait, we need to slow this down, you need to go part

Unknown: 00:31:02

time, because your body could not take it. I know you act

Unknown: 00:31:05

pretty tough. But like, you have to understand and listen to your

Unknown: 00:31:09

body at points, like you cannot run with the crowd. So

Unknown: 00:31:17

just stop it like, slow down.

Unknown: 00:31:21

And at that point, like I felt in college that I needed to run,

Unknown: 00:31:25

run run, I was always running to class, because I was always

Unknown: 00:31:30

late. And

Unknown: 00:31:33

I don't know how it's possible, because I had a walker with me

Unknown: 00:31:36

sometimes. And other times I wouldn't. And then other times,

Unknown: 00:31:41

I would just run on through or have someone else carry my

Unknown: 00:31:45

books. And but sometimes, like I was always late, I don't know

Unknown: 00:31:48

how that's possible. Like I had. Like I said, I had a walker. So

Unknown: 00:31:53

I had four wheels. And I had two feet. So I don't I don't know

Unknown: 00:31:57

why I was late all the time. But I was.

Unknown: 00:32:00

But then I developed and I understand why I was late

Unknown: 00:32:04

because of the distance that it took me to get from one area of

Unknown: 00:32:09

school to the other.

Unknown: 00:32:12

The book wouldn't have been possible. If it wasn't for

Unknown: 00:32:19

2007

Unknown: 00:32:22

I had read a book called The lion's tail around the world

Unknown: 00:32:27

spandex.

Unknown: 00:32:29

And at that point, like I had wanted to get into the sports

Unknown: 00:32:35

field, notably at that time professional wrestling. So I had

Unknown: 00:32:41

I had known that I needed to study my stuff and know my

Unknown: 00:32:47

stuff. But before I ended up doing that, I wanted to read

Unknown: 00:32:51

books, so that I understood so that I understood the sport of

Unknown: 00:32:56

professional wrestling.

Unknown: 00:32:59

So that people wouldn't, you know, say, Oh, you don't belong

Unknown: 00:33:02

here. You don't know this. You don't know that. So I took it

Unknown: 00:33:06

upon myself. And I challenged myself.

Unknown: 00:33:10

And I bought one wrestling book every month for like two years.

Unknown: 00:33:18

And I read every wrestling book there was

Unknown: 00:33:23

a got to the point where my brother and my cousins are like,

Unknown: 00:33:26

they're nuts. That's like five grand of information just blown

Unknown: 00:33:32

down the toys. Oh, no, I'm going to become the greatest writer

Unknown: 00:33:36

that ever lived in sports. And I was so I was so determined. And

Unknown: 00:33:43

I have determination now but in a different way. But like

Unknown: 00:33:49

I think it was the the fall of 2007 that I ended up picking up

Unknown: 00:33:55

the book, a lion's tail around the world spandex.

Unknown: 00:34:00

And it was a book by Chris Jericho. And for the life of me.

Unknown: 00:34:04

I can't remember any physical matches that he was ever in like

Unknown: 00:34:08

he was a professional wrestling. And

Unknown: 00:34:11

the stories about is his life. I can't remember anything about

Unknown: 00:34:15

the book except one thing.

Unknown: 00:34:19

So he talked about an injury his mother sustained while being in

Unknown: 00:34:26

an altercation with her boyfriend at the time. And she

Unknown: 00:34:29

sustained a spinal cord injury.

Unknown: 00:34:34

She sustained a spinal cord injury that left her paralyzed.

Unknown: 00:34:40

And when I read the book, and I read that chapter that stuck out

Unknown: 00:34:44

to me,

Unknown: 00:34:46

because I said, Now here's a crummy situation. And

Unknown: 00:34:53

that's got to be awful to write about. But like I've been

Unknown: 00:34:57

looking at my situation like

Unknown: 00:35:00

How, how was my situation and hurt situation parallel to

Unknown: 00:35:07

parallel to each other. And I'm like, Well, if Chris can write

Unknown: 00:35:11

about that,

Unknown: 00:35:13

no one else is going to write my story. So I better get off my

Unknown: 00:35:18

butt, and get in the gym. But I better do it in a way that

Unknown: 00:35:27

is safe for me. So I started working with the spinal cord

Unknown: 00:35:30

coach, to

Unknown: 00:35:34

build up my quadriceps and my arm muscles and stuff like that.

Unknown: 00:35:40

And like, even the stretching is important to me. Stretching is

Unknown: 00:35:44

so important to me.

Unknown: 00:35:48

But I began to understand

Unknown: 00:35:51

that that book was probably

Unknown: 00:35:56

one of the books that I remember.

Unknown: 00:36:00

I remember not being able to put it down.

Unknown: 00:36:04

It got so I got so deep into it. Like I would come to the supper

Unknown: 00:36:10

table, and I would carry the book with me. And I would I

Unknown: 00:36:14

would eat, and I would, I would read, and my mom for the life

Unknown: 00:36:18

recently put the book down. I said,

Unknown: 00:36:22

this books about my life.

Unknown: 00:36:25

And my mom's like, what do you read? I said, What's the moat

Unknown: 00:36:28

arrested, stack all that stupid wrestling again.

Unknown: 00:36:37

So

Unknown: 00:36:39

I came to a realization that I needed to write

Unknown: 00:36:46

the book, my way.

Unknown: 00:36:49

But as long as I tried to write it, it never felt complete.

Unknown: 00:36:56

Never felt it. I tried for a row, 10 years to write it, and

Unknown: 00:37:00

sit down, actually go through it and go through it. It never ever

Unknown: 00:37:06

felt complete. And then when I got the hernia surgery

Unknown: 00:37:12

in January of 2021,

Unknown: 00:37:17

the nurses has to have told me, they were looking after me at

Unknown: 00:37:22

the time, they said, You're You're a young guy, you've been

Unknown: 00:37:26

through a lot of garbage. Have you ever thought about writing

Unknown: 00:37:29

the book.

Unknown: 00:37:31

And without a, without a blink of an eye, I said, Well, if I

Unknown: 00:37:35

write a book, you are gonna get the first copy, because you guys

Unknown: 00:37:39

saved my life.

Unknown: 00:37:41

And so

Unknown: 00:37:43

it's after the, the hip surgeries that I had.

Unknown: 00:37:50

I was placed in a long term care unit while I wait for this hip

Unknown: 00:37:55

replacement. And I was brought here on July of 2021. And like,

Unknown: 00:38:03

I formulated the book, chapter by chapter, and I sat down in a

Unknown: 00:38:08

row. Okay, what, what are the chapters is going to look like?

Unknown: 00:38:13

What are my experiences?

Unknown: 00:38:17

Is it worth writing?

Unknown: 00:38:20

Yes.

Unknown: 00:38:23

And by December, like I finished the book, and then I went

Unknown: 00:38:29

looking for the publisher, and

Unknown: 00:38:32

the rest is history. But I ended up top, I ended up talking a lot

Unknown: 00:38:38

about like the influence of versus book, a lion's tail

Unknown: 00:38:43

around the world spandex a lot in the book itself. And I thank

Unknown: 00:38:49

him for the inspiration behind the ability to write the book

Unknown: 00:38:56

because, like, yeah, I wanted to write it.

Unknown: 00:39:01

But I needed a good kick in the pants to do so. And so even

Unknown: 00:39:06

though it took me 10 years, and I realized now why it took me 10

Unknown: 00:39:10

years, it's because the book wasn't finished, because I

Unknown: 00:39:15

hadn't done I wasn't done experiencing all that needed to

Unknown: 00:39:20

be experienced. And I knew that after the hernia surgery, and

Unknown: 00:39:25

the hip surgery, I knew that I would have enough material to

Unknown: 00:39:29

finish the book. And then I would have no problem writing

Unknown: 00:39:34

it. I just had to get off to a quiet place. And then I

Unknown: 00:39:38

realized, hey, when I was in long term bear, there's nothing

Unknown: 00:39:41

to do. So all you're doing is just typing. I know some of the

Unknown: 00:39:45

residents here when I got here. There's they said, We can hear

Unknown: 00:39:50

you typing through the walls.

Unknown: 00:39:54

And

Unknown: 00:39:57

I said, Well, yeah, I'm writing the book and then

Unknown: 00:40:00

They staff hear that you're writing a book. How old are you?

Unknown: 00:40:05

I'm like, I'm 36.

Unknown: 00:40:08

And then there's they said, What are you writing in your book

Unknown: 00:40:13

about? I said aloud to my challenges with CP. And what

Unknown: 00:40:17

I've been inspired fun. What inspired by and influenced by

Unknown: 00:40:22

all the things that I've experienced? They said, why

Unknown: 00:40:25

don't we want to read it? I said, Well, I got to be written

Unknown: 00:40:29

first. And

Unknown: 00:40:32

so the generalities of the book, like it must have gone through,

Unknown: 00:40:41

I think three or four different trials of does this work, just

Unknown: 00:40:46

this work? Is that work? Can Can we include this in the book and

Unknown: 00:40:50

we included that in the book? So originally,

Unknown: 00:40:56

it had about 50 chapters. And then I'm like, no, this doesn't

Unknown: 00:41:00

work. You know, I don't want to write about this. Because this

Unknown: 00:41:04

is very small. I don't want to write about that. Because then

Unknown: 00:41:09

you drag on or drag on, and I don't want to lose readership.

Unknown: 00:41:13

Right. So then went from 50 to 23 chapters. And, you know, I, I

Unknown: 00:41:21

read through it five or six times. And, you know, I don't

Unknown: 00:41:25

want to toot my own horn. But this seems like a good quality

Unknown: 00:41:28

book to me that I can actually send it to a publisher, a

Unknown: 00:41:33

publisher would say, hey, it's a good book. Nice job.

Unknown: 00:41:38

And so the rest is history.

Unknown: 00:41:43

I find it so beautiful, how you describe that.

Unknown: 00:41:50

You wanted to finish that book earlier. But for some reason, it

Unknown: 00:41:54

didn't feel as if it was finished, and you took the time

Unknown: 00:41:58

and all the experiences, and then finish the book. And now

Unknown: 00:42:04

looking back, you realize, yeah, this is what it took, you can

Unknown: 00:42:08

just start a book and finish it. I mean, probably some people can

Unknown: 00:42:13

do that in a couple months. But if you really want, like, if you

Unknown: 00:42:17

feel it's not finished, then you have to listen to that intuition

Unknown: 00:42:21

and trust, that there's still proce progress happening, even

Unknown: 00:42:28

though it doesn't really feel like it. Yeah, you're you're

Unknown: 00:42:32

living, you're living in the moment, you're experiencing

Unknown: 00:42:35

things that you think have nothing to do with the book. But

Unknown: 00:42:39

then one day, Soon, it will all fall into place and, and create

Unknown: 00:42:44

this beautiful piece of art. And one day, you might turn it into

Unknown: 00:42:49

a movie maybe.

Unknown: 00:42:51

I don't know, a

Unknown: 00:42:53

lot of extra work. That doesn't matter. But you know, what I

Unknown: 00:42:58

would love to see when we publish this book is that there

Unknown: 00:43:01

is pictures in there, from a picture of your dad a picture of

Unknown: 00:43:06

your mom, and to see faces to the characters that you describe

Unknown: 00:43:13

so nicely.

Unknown: 00:43:16

Because you, you write so vividly, and maybe it's just me,

Unknown: 00:43:21

I just started to create pictures in my mind. And

Unknown: 00:43:25

sometimes you're like, oh, no, that person looks totally

Unknown: 00:43:28

different than I thought. Yeah.

Unknown: 00:43:33

But this is so beautiful. Anthony, thank you so much for,

Unknown: 00:43:37

for sharing all this with us. And I would like to ask you one

Unknown: 00:43:42

last question. If sure if there is listeners right now who who

Unknown: 00:43:48

listen to you. And they feel like they have a talent. But

Unknown: 00:43:53

they might be stuck in a situation where they can't

Unknown: 00:43:56

really pursue their talent.

Unknown: 00:44:00

What would you what would you recommend? What would you

Unknown: 00:44:06

give them as an inspiration to still explore the talent even

Unknown: 00:44:11

though the time might not be right?

Unknown: 00:44:15

I would say just be patient. If they realized talents there, but

Unknown: 00:44:20

they realize the timing is off. I would just say keep the

Unknown: 00:44:23

talent, but be patient but continue to work, work at the

Unknown: 00:44:29

talent itself. Maybe not let it out entirely.

Unknown: 00:44:37

I would say this.

Unknown: 00:44:41

If you're a baseball player,

Unknown: 00:44:44

and you realize you have a talent for baseball, but say the

Unknown: 00:44:48

field is sold and you can't play

Unknown: 00:44:52

but it's so important for

Unknown: 00:44:58

the baseball player to

Unknown: 00:45:00

Got to keep practicing in like any weather.

Unknown: 00:45:04

Like, if it's raining, put on a raincoat or a tarp, and just get

Unknown: 00:45:10

out there

Unknown: 00:45:12

and throw the ball around.

Unknown: 00:45:15

Because the timing isn't always going to be perfect.

Unknown: 00:45:19

And so I realized that

Unknown: 00:45:24

when I came to long term care, even though it's very

Unknown: 00:45:26

uncomfortable for me to be here, it's uncomfortable for me to be

Unknown: 00:45:30

here, because I'm only 36. And I'm dealing with people that are

Unknown: 00:45:35

on their way out in life. And I'm just starting my life.

Unknown: 00:45:41

So I realize I'm on the opposite end of the spectrum, from a lot

Unknown: 00:45:47

of these other people.

Unknown: 00:45:49

And so the staff here realize that they see that, and they

Unknown: 00:45:54

understand how difficult and challenging it is. And that's

Unknown: 00:45:57

why I continue to read and continue to

Unknown: 00:46:02

listen to music will continue to motivate myself to just keep

Unknown: 00:46:07

going. Because, for me, this is just a waiting, like just a

Unknown: 00:46:12

waiting room to get to get a hip. It's not a permanent

Unknown: 00:46:16

fixture. And so I realized in the process of writing this

Unknown: 00:46:21

book,

Unknown: 00:46:24

The timing was never right, to actually write the book in the

Unknown: 00:46:29

timing that I want it.

Unknown: 00:46:31

Because I do experience some things. Like even though I've

Unknown: 00:46:35

been in the hospital for about eight months, you would think

Unknown: 00:46:38

you get a lot of downtime in the hospital, but you really don't.

Unknown: 00:46:43

Because

Unknown: 00:46:45

promotions that hurt new stuff.

Unknown: 00:46:48

I was on my back

Unknown: 00:46:51

then dealing with internal injuries, and then I was dealing

Unknown: 00:46:56

with,

Unknown: 00:46:58

you know, bow stuff. And

Unknown: 00:47:01

so I realized at that point, like, writing book wasn't my

Unknown: 00:47:06

first bird. Yeah. So So I realized when I went to rehab,

Unknown: 00:47:13

that,

Unknown: 00:47:14

okay, if I can get into a nice quiet place.

Unknown: 00:47:19

And I don't have anything to do.

Unknown: 00:47:23

For the next three months, I can do this. All I would need

Unknown: 00:47:29

is my computer.

Unknown: 00:47:33

I need to keep my medical notes.

Unknown: 00:47:36

And they need to keep a journal of everything going on.

Unknown: 00:47:42

So while I was in rehab, I asked to take photos. So I can put it

Unknown: 00:47:48

in the book. And they're like what book? I said, Well, I'm

Unknown: 00:47:50

going to write a book after this is all done.

Unknown: 00:47:54

There. So are you serious? I said, Yes. I'm going to write a

Unknown: 00:47:57

book about this whole experience. So you better be

Unknown: 00:48:00

nice to Nero put some bad stuff in the bug.

Unknown: 00:48:06

And so I realized that, at the time, coming to London there

Unknown: 00:48:12

physically and emotionally was very uncomfortable for me.

Unknown: 00:48:17

But it became the perfect situation where it could just

Unknown: 00:48:21

slow down. Stay quiet, and just right.

Unknown: 00:48:30

Not so crazy interesting.

Unknown: 00:48:33

And I love how you see your situation now as temporary. I

Unknown: 00:48:39

thought right away of Nelson Mandela, right. He was in prison

Unknown: 00:48:43

for 27 years. And he knew one day he's going to be out there

Unknown: 00:48:47

and

Unknown: 00:48:48

you know, live a normal life again. And maybe you feel the

Unknown: 00:48:53

same you feel imprisoned right now. But you're doing the very

Unknown: 00:48:57

best out of it. And you're you're even creating something

Unknown: 00:49:00

for all of us to enjoy.

Unknown: 00:49:04

later on. So yeah, thank you so much for sharing all this with

Unknown: 00:49:10

us. And I hope we stay connected.

Unknown: 00:49:15

And absolutely, yeah, it was a great pleasure to have you here,

Unknown: 00:49:19

Anthony.

Unknown: 00:49:21

Thanks for

Unknown: 00:49:24

Well, thank you so much for listening to today's episode. I

Unknown: 00:49:28

hope we were able to give you inspiration for your life. It is

Unknown: 00:49:34

so worth to fight for your dreams to never give up. And

Unknown: 00:49:38

what I love about Anthony so much is that he doesn't make his

Unknown: 00:49:45

cerebral policy, an excuse to not show up for himself. He's a

Unknown: 00:49:52

fighter and a deep inspiration for so many out there. Thank you

Unknown: 00:49:59

so much.

Unknown: 00:50:00

For listening, thank you so much for supporting. If you haven't

Unknown: 00:50:03

already, please subscribe and I will put Anthony's details

Unknown: 00:50:10

contact information into the show notes. Alright, take care.

Unknown: 00:50:15

Bye bye