Ep. 37 Aggression the unacceptable emotion [emotional health]

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Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora. And I'm very happy to be

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spending some time with you today. If you haven't subscribed

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to this podcast yet, please do. And if you're new to the show,

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welcome, I'm so happy to have you here. Everybody. This is a

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place to reflect and recharge and feel understood and

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empowered. You can find my podcast on Apple podcast on

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around the world. And I'm pretty active on Facebook with videos

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and such. So if ever you feel like, yeah, watching my videos,

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getting a little bit more in depth content, or simply wanting

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to connect with me share your story with me, or requesting an

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episode from me, then please don't hold back. Today Hi, I

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just made myself a tea. And it smells so extremely good, a wild

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berry tea. So amazing. And I just painted my fingernails and

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I'm letting them dry. Now. I'm a very clumsy person. So whenever

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I paint my fingernails, I love to have a couple minutes of

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doing nothing before I go about my farming, or house cleaning or

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whatever it is where I would otherwise ruin my Fresh, fresh

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paint. So right now is a perfect time to dry my fingernails, I

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want to talk about aggression, aggression, I feel especially

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when it comes to women, aggressive women, aggressive

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behavior among women. It's just a topic that is so exciting and

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that I could talk about four hours and I could listen to

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people for hours and hours teaching about it.

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Also, I find suppressed aggression usually results in

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depression. Depression is something I'm really familiar

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with. I basically went from how to back to, from how to back to

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planet earth. Sorry, I meant within the next the last couple

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of days, it

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was really very juicy in the darkest ways. And yeah, I talk

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about it lots on my, my Facebook, if you're more

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interested in, in finding out more about it. We all have a

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dark side, we all go through a really tough phases in our

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lives. And some times there is you know, something that has

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happened a trauma, an accident, something happened and it

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triggers those feelings, but sometimes it those feelings just

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overwhelm you from nothing, and they accumulate and become more

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and more and yeah, it's just a whole shitshow when it comes to

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aggression, aggression, I feel is an emotion a go to emotion is

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very acceptable in some ways in our society, but in a lot of

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ways. It's not acceptable. Because yeah, it's very

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uncomfortable to be aggressed by someone else, right? I'm totally

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fearful of men and women, physically. Certainly mentally

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but also physically. When Yeah, somebody is being aggressive

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with me. I'm like a paralyzed body. But it is part of life. It

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is part of human experience. And I really hate when people like

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are all lovey dovey rainbow unicorns and aggression is a bad

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thing. Aggression, aggression can be it's really not something

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we want to see. Because that's not possible. I believe strongly

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that it is is part of human nature. And any person who

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wanders around who walks around on planet Earth, and says they

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never felt aggression is Yeah. Lying. It is just not possible.

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We learn as adults maybe to suppress it more. But then as I

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said, at the beginning, it turns into depression. Aggression can

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be channeled, you can put your energy, your aggressive energy

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into your work, you can be very assertive, you can be very

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ambitious, you can get lots of shit done when you are, you

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know, using your aggressive energy to do so. It is your

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drive. And then Yeah, unfortunately, you can take it

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out on other people too. And that's not a good thing. So what

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I'm not saying here is that we should tolerate more aggression.

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No, no, no, no, no, this is not what I'm saying. What I'm saying

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is that aggression is here is there part of our human

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experience. And some of us, most of us can learn to channel that

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energy into a more productive outcome instead of destructive,

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you know, with, with opinions with speeches, with with

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variable attacks, we can be extremely aggressive, and we can

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ruin relationships, we can ruin communities, we can shoot

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ourselves in the foot. And that is when we use aggression

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against ourselves against other people. But we can use it in a

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beautiful way to you know, somebody who knows exactly what

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they want, and then taking the steps towards that goal, and

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their dream is being aggressive. But not against other people.

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But he's using she is using that energy to get things done to

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bring their dreams closer. Now, when it comes to social related

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relationships, sorry. It is really important to understand

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like I'm here best case scenario, when I'm in pain when

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I'm depressed when I'm in major discomfort. I'm not behaving

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like a depressed person. You know, the stereotype would

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behave if there is any, like sitting on a couch and crying

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all day long, being in fetal position, and only eating chips

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and watching Netflix. That's not me when I'm depressed. When I'm

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depressed, I'm aggressive with my surroundings, I'm impatient.

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And that makes it extremely difficult to connect and for

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people to really understand what's going on with me because

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they want nothing to do with the aggression. Of course, they push

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me away, they attack me back. All I want, though, is to be

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like, taken in, in the RMS and to to be asked, Hey, are you

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okay? Can I help you? Can I be there for you. But of course,

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that's the last thing a person wants to do when you aggress

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them first. You know, it's still something I need to make sense

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of in myself. It's still something that I'm slowly

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learning to make sense of, and I'm slowly trying to get better

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at that when I'm scared when I'm frustrated when I feel

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powerless, helpless, insecure, then I'm aggressive. That

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doesn't help me at all. Doesn't help my relationships at all.

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Especially as a woman I feel especially being a woman. It is

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expected from you to be emotionally sound, to be

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perfectly able to express your feelings and to gracefully

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approach situations that make you feel insecure. But yeah, I

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missed that day at school, when it was taught to to us at a

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younger age. So understand that my message today is not to

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tolerate more aggression and to to say yeah, aggression is cool.

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And that's why I can lash out on people. No, we have to learn to

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make sense of our aggression and be our own best friend and

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little detective there. And when somebody else is being

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aggressive towards us, just cut through and ignore the energy

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and the emotion that is being like, thrown at you. And ask

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them directly, hey, you seem pretty upset. How can I help

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you? What is wrong? Which toe is hurting? You know, sometimes

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it's physical pain to sometimes it's hunger, and season one, I

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have one pretty juicy episode where I talk about how physical

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discomfort can turn you into an absolute monster. And it's

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really interesting and fascinating, awesome to be aware

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of this, because it's so easy to appease to give your body what

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it needs, just drink a little bit more water, just eat the

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right foods. And that will in turn affect your mood as well.

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Your mental health. So being aware of our aggression, and

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becoming a friend of aggression, and not trying to suffocate it

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anymore, especially us as women, to not push it down and then let

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it out in some weird ways, you know, manipulative and passive

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aggressive and what not. There's so much stuff out there is so

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many fun inventions that we made. Because we think that

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aggression is a bad thing. No, I think if we learn to accept it

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more, then we can learn to dissolve it more as well. Like

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faster, when it comes up. We make sense of it. We maybe talk

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about it, express ourselves, and then we can let it out. Let it

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bleed out, let it flow out. And then move on in joy. And yeah, I

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think that was my message for today. Thank you so much for

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listening. Of course, I'm burning to know what you're

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thinking. Do you agree or do you disagree? What I say here, and

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either way, reach out to me on Facebook, I usually post this

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episode and then a little video to it. And then just comment

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below and I'm really yeah, very excited to hear what you think

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about all this. Alright, take really good care of yourself. I

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will be out there on Thursday again. And yeah, until then,

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drink lots of water. Take your vitamins, and go out for a walk.