Ep. 3 Self-Abandonment, you are your own worst enemy. [self-awareness]

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Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

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your host Aurora, life coach and companion on this beautiful

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journey called life. I hope you feel good. I hope you feel safe,

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supported, loved, seen heard. If you don't feel good at the

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moment, I hope that my episode here is going to bring you a lot

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of value and empowerment inspiration. Please know that my

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podcast is kind of organized as a build up. So if you're new to

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this podcast, please subscribe and start out with season number

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one. And you'll see over time that yeah, it is a beautiful

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build up. I go pretty much into depth from the beginning. If

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there's any episodes if there's any topics that are intriguing,

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let me know and if there's any topics that you want me to talk

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about in the future, also, let me know. Connect with me on

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Facebook, Aurora Eggert or join the Aurora Eggert coaching page.

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Alright, let's dive into today's topic. Are you abandoning

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yourself? First off, what is abandonment? And how can you

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abandon yourself? As you maybe know, or maybe you're new to my

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podcast, I share my experiences, my thoughts, my feelings about

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certain topics. And I would say that abandonment is when we

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don't feel supported. We can be on our own by ourselves and

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abandon ourselves. Or we can feel abandoned by other people.

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In a group setting, we can also feel ostracized or excluded

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there's not a feeling of belonging or feeling understood.

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You feel led down you feel Yeah, full on unsupported. You feel

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that alone, not only alone, but you feel lonely with how you

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feel with what you sync with your values, your believes. You

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feel people are not showing up for you. People don't put the

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effort in to understand you. And it's a very uncomfortable place

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to be in. Nobody wants to be sitting in that feeling for too

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long. Now why would we abandon ourselves? How's that possible?

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It is by our beliefs that we abandon ourselves. It is by

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conclusions that we make about ourselves, that we brand and

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ourselves. So for instance, if you're in a relationship, and

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you have agreed to chat with your partner at a specific time,

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and they don't show up. You start sinking thoughts. You

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start feeling feelings about your partner not showing up. If

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you've been traumatized in the past, you might feel re

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traumatized. If you have made experiences that are similar to

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the experience that you're going through right now, then you

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might feel triggered. You might project your past into your

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present into the future and you might distort the reality that

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it's going on. So let's say your partner is not showing up

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because they had car accident. But in the past you experienced

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that somebody didn't show up because they decided to to spend

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time with another person, or they simply forgot about you.

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Now all this anxiety is going to come up and your chest and your

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body and your mind and your head. And you're going to create

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feelings, maybe even anxiety, there's going to be a build up

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inside of you. And when you come, your partner comes home

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later, you might lash out, or you might avoid them, whatever

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your coping mechanism is. Your way of dealing with challenging

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feelings. You're gonna react to the non showing up of your

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partner. If you had really good experiences so far, and you

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don't really put much importance and to if a person is showing up

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or not, you will have a very different reaction. So the way

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we self abandon in certain situations, is in thinking,

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Yeah, well, we're not worth it anyways, yes, I'm not as

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interesting as other people, anyways, or that person is too

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cool, too interesting. Anyways, and they are out of my league,

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so of course, they're gonna abandon me and not show up for

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me. So just kind of a trauma reaction that you have just

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conclusions that you make about yourself that have nothing to do

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with reality, and even make your present situation worse. Let's

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say you are in a relationship, and there is a fallout you guys

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break up. Chances are that your conclusions about yourself are

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going to be similar to the ones that you made in the past. And

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you're going to kind of project the past onto the present and

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say, Yeah, well, this happens to me all the time. Life is shitty,

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I'm not worthy. I'm too complicated. And what it does,

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really is that you put yourself into a victim mentality. You put

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yourself in a place of disempowerment of unresolved

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forcefulness. A position that is really had detrimental to your

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self esteem. So it is not the outside world that is making you

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feel this way. Because you could have very different reactions

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and thoughts about a specific situation. It is the thoughts

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and the conclusions that you make about yourself. When in a

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situation like this, I want to go into way more depth in the

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future because I feel a lot of people abandon themselves in

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situations where if they would keep a clear mind, more rational

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mind, a more neutral mind, they would serve their purpose or

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themselves way better. And at the start is going to be very

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weird and uncomfortable to kind of go against your old beliefs

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and to neutralize your super emotional and dark conclusions

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and thoughts and feelings that you have. But with time they're

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going to become less powerful. And you will see that you can

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reach a state of mind and emotion that is way better for

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you. And the beautiful thing about this is that your

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relationships to other people will change as well. And why is

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that so important? It is so important because I believe that

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relationships are life. We are in constant relationship with

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our environment. And if we are healthy in our mind and our

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heart we are in constant relationship with people. Of

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course we're going to have a long time that is also very

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healthy. But as a whole we're always in relationship with the

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creatures the people around us. And the more clear we are about

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who we are are,

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the more clear we are about the Healthy conclusions we make

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about ourselves in certain situations, the better we feel

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about ourselves, the better decisions we're going to make

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the better reactions, responses we're going to have to the

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people around us. And it is very, very important. When you

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are on a path of healing. When you are on a path of letting go

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of all parents and belief systems, it's always important

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to when you feel triggered, to question your belief that is

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being triggered in the moment and to ask yourself, Is this

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really true? Is it really true that you are unworthy? And that

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people are going to mistreat you anyways? If yes, why? If no? How

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can you start letting go of this belief? How can you replace it

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by a more healthy set of beliefs? This is what I'm here

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for you to become aware of. And I'm so excited to have more and

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more people joining me and on a path on a coaching pass with me.

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It is incredibly precious work. And yeah, just a path that I

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chose for myself that is incredibly healing my enjoy

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every client that I have and every baby steps that they make

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in in their direction of healing and success. And yeah, maybe it

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is something for you as well. And you can just reach out and

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we jump on a free 60 minute call and see how I can help you.

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Alright, if you don't mind, make the time and leave a review on

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Apple podcast. It would mean the world to me. And otherwise take

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really good care and I will be out there very soon again. Bye