Episode 29
Ep.29 Your mind can be your worst enemy [self-awareness]
Our thoughts, emotions, and mental processes can sometimes work against us and lead to self-doubt, anxiety, or negative self-perception.
It reflects the importance of mental health and the role our thought patterns and attitudes play in our well-being. Here are a few reasons why this statement holds true:
- Overthinking: Excessive rumination and overthinking can lead to anxiety and stress. We often create problems or scenarios in our minds that may not even exist in reality.
- Negative Self-Talk: Negative self-talk, where we criticize or belittle ourselves, can erode self-esteem and confidence.
- Fear and Worry: Our minds can generate fear and excessive worry, often about future events that may never come to pass.
- Perfectionism: Striving for perfection in every aspect of life can lead to unrealistic expectations and self-criticism when we don't meet those expectations.
- Rumination on the Past: Repeatedly dwelling on past mistakes or regrets can prevent us from moving forward and finding happiness in the present.
- Comparison: Constantly comparing ourselves to others can lead to feelings of inadequacy and envy.
- Cognitive Biases: Our minds are susceptible to various cognitive biases, such as confirmation bias or negativity bias, which can distort our perception of reality.
Recognizing that your mind can sometimes work against you is an important step in addressing these issues.
It's essential to practice self-awareness and develop strategies to manage negative thought patterns and emotions.
This may include mindfulness techniques, cognitive-behavioral therapy, seeking support from a therapist, and adopting a positive and self-compassionate mindset.
Taking care of your mental health and seeking support when needed can help you transform your mind from an enemy into an ally in your life's journey.
With much love
A.
- How the mind can create negative experiences. 0:02
- Aurora shares tips on how to overcome negative mindset and create a positive life experience.
- Managing negative thoughts and self-doubt. 2:52
- Mindset plays a crucial role in overcoming self-doubt and comparison in business.
- Self-worth and mindset. 5:53
- Speaker reflects on how past experiences shape present-day self-perception, leading to inaccurate comparisons with others.
- Self-awareness and negative thoughts. 9:02
- Speaker 1 emphasizes the importance of self-awareness in recognizing and managing negative thoughts and emotions.
- Speaker 1 encourages listeners to observe their thoughts without attaching to them and to question unhelpful comparisons and beliefs.
- Managing negative thoughts and emotions. 12:06
- Observe negative thoughts without believing them, detach and focus on the present moment.
- Transparency and vulnerability in sharing personal struggles can lead to deeper connections and self-awareness.
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Transcript
Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis
Unknown:experience. I'm your host Aurora, life coach and companion
Unknown:on this beautiful journey called life. And I'm excited to be
Unknown:spending some time with you today. And also excited to have
Unknown:more and more people checking out the yard experience. This is
Unknown:a physical location that I offer to connect with people to guide
Unknown:people through intimacy classes with their partners, or loved
Unknown:ones, yoga classes, relaxation classes, and in winter, excuse
Unknown:me in winter. And next summer, I will also be offering little
Unknown:tours around this beautiful country here where we hike in
Unknown:snow shoes, or on groom trails and get a little bit of
Unknown:exercising and, and genuine connection and then afterwards
Unknown:meeting at the yeard for some relaxing, genuine connection
Unknown:moments. So yeah, it's been quite the journey in the last
Unknown:couple of months. But I'm very excited to meet you beautiful
Unknown:listeners in person and light, it's such a blessing. Today, I
Unknown:want to talk about your mind, and how your mind can create
Unknown:Hell on Earth. By the way, my episodes are timeless and not
Unknown:interrupted by any advertisement. And it is all for
Unknown:free. So make the time and go through season one to season
Unknown:eight. There will be episodes that are very really relatable
Unknown:for any situation you're in right now. If it is feeling
Unknown:stuck feeling troubled in, you know a relationship or having to
Unknown:make a big decision or just overall, wanting to enjoy more
Unknown:and depth connection with yourself and others around you.
Unknown:I deeply encourage you to go back to season one. And to start
Unknown:there. And to Yeah, find meditations find interviews,
Unknown:find episodes where it's just me talking or sharing tips and
Unknown:tools on how you can become the best version of yourself are
Unknown:add. Let's talk about your mind and how your mind within seconds
Unknown:can have you drift into a downward spiral. You get up in
Unknown:the morning and feel well and excited. And go about your day,
Unknown:go about your routines, maybe drive to work. And then
Unknown:something happens. Be at you listening to you know, post a
Unknown:video, something on social media, or be it a person, either
Unknown:somebody you love and care about or somebody you don't even know
Unknown:who makes a comment and all of a sudden shit goes south and your
Unknown:day is ruined. Because for some reason you took something
Unknown:personal, that others might not take personal we can talk about
Unknown:triggers here. But yeah, sometimes our mind is just
Unknown:simply a landmine, a warzone for triggers and we feel vulnerable
Unknown:we feel on edge we feel criticized. And it's situation.
Unknown:mind set, a mode that our mind can be and that is very
Unknown:difficult to get out of, and how to snap out of it is really the
Unknown:art here how to not believe every thought that you have,
Unknown:especially when it comes to self doubt. When it comes to feeling
Unknown:less than not enough, comparing yourself. It is part of the
Unknown:human experience and it is the way our mind most of our minds
Unknown:are wired to compare to be anxious and nervous to be on
Unknown:edge. Especially if, if that's our normal, especially if we're
Unknown:used to being nervous if you were used to being judgey
Unknown:towards others, but especially ourselves, and it takes
Unknown:training. It takes effort to get yourself out of this weird loop
Unknown:and to feel good again, to feel good about yourself and to not
Unknown:let your thoughts control who you are, what you are how you
Unknown:serve your community. It is very tricky as a business owner,
Unknown:right when you start a business, and you put yourself out there
Unknown:with your heart and your blood, and you feel like people are not
Unknown:really interested as much as you were hoping for, or you have a
Unknown:successful business, and all of a sudden, somebody next door
Unknown:opens up a business that is similar to yours, and they have
Unknown:a different kind of success, an easier start or a better
Unknown:marketing strategy. And that's crushing, that's very, very
Unknown:difficult to, to go through these moments, but our mind can
Unknown:usually worsen the situation. And it goes back to how we feel
Unknown:about ourselves internally, without having a business
Unknown:without having a relationship. That when we feel challenged, we
Unknown:go back to maybe even childhood memories where we felt
Unknown:inadequate, and less than for the first time. And it is really
Unknown:important to get behind the stories. And to reframe them and
Unknown:to know that this is a story that I'm telling myself. And it
Unknown:might have been valid in the past at some point. But it is
Unknown:not valid anymore. Or it was never even valid. We simply made
Unknown:a conclusion about ourselves about others about the world.
Unknown:And it's not even the truth. But at that time back then when we
Unknown:made the conclusion, it was just an easy fix, to say that's how
Unknown:we put our mind to sleep ourselves to sleep, that maybe
Unknown:you know, all men are cheaters or all women are gold diggers or
Unknown:all teachers and authority figures are just evil and want
Unknown:to get us and mistreat us, right we we make all sorts of
Unknown:conclusions when we feel hurt and disappointed. And our
Unknown:mindset in the present moment might just fall back into that
Unknown:memory. Your mind is an excellent time traveler and
Unknown:excellent space traveler. An excellent traveler when it comes
Unknown:to memories your minds business is to prevent future pain. So
Unknown:your mind goes back to a painful memory when you feel indecisive
Unknown:and fearful to protect you from making a mistake from making the
Unknown:same mistake once over again. But sometimes it does you a huge
Unknown:disservice. Especially when it comes to comparing yourself to
Unknown:other people. You compare yourself to a person who might
Unknown:see more healthy, might see more beautiful, prettier, handsome,
Unknown:might seem more successful. And you diminish your value
Unknown:drastically, you only see and the other person what you don't
Unknown:have and what they have. But you don't see the reality your mind
Unknown:starts distorting, to a degree that it's not even fair to the
Unknown:other person because you put them on a pedestal and they have
Unknown:their struggles too. But your self worth issues are fueling
Unknown:your mind to be even more insecure than it is already. And
Unknown:it's just such a shitshow to be in. It's such a detrimental
Unknown:mindset to have and I know you're not doing it on purpose.
Unknown:I'm not doing another purpose when it happens to me, but it
Unknown:happens and to raise your awareness to sharpen your tools
Unknown:when it comes to yourself awareness is so crucial in this
Unknown:like in everything that I teach. And everything that I talked
Unknown:about self awareness, I believe is the key to a genuine
Unknown:connection to yourself and others. And to become aware that
Unknown:when your mind slides into comparison, self doubt, self
Unknown:destruct, sorry, self destruct mode,
Unknown:you can just observe it You can take the back seat, and watch
Unknown:this movie playing in front of you, as if you were sitting in a
Unknown:movie theater. You just watch it for a while and see what your
Unknown:mind your beautiful, beautiful mind comes up with beautiful
Unknown:ideas or not so beautiful ideas to make you feel shitty. And to
Unknown:not attach to these thoughts and to know that, oh, now your mind
Unknown:is doing this negative, downward spiraling game again. Am I going
Unknown:to hook into it? And believe it and allow my whole being to
Unknown:slide into this? No, maybe I can question some of the thoughts
Unknown:that I have. Really, is that person that I'm comparing myself
Unknown:to? Better than me? Are they more successful? Maybe they have
Unknown:tools and resources that I can claim in the future, maybe I can
Unknown:learn from that person that I'm comparing myself to? Really is
Unknown:my partner. What is an example I can bring up here? Yeah, is my
Unknown:partner attracted to this person over there, because they have,
Unknown:you know, a beautiful fancy car, and a beautiful body and they
Unknown:look so healthy. And he always talks about how he enjoys having
Unknown:friends that are healthy, and beautiful. And I don't feel
Unknown:healthy and beautiful right now. So he's probably going to cheat
Unknown:on me. And then that downward spiral, right. And when it comes
Unknown:to your parents and your siblings and kind of feeling
Unknown:that, yeah, your parents prefer your sibling. And yeah, they've
Unknown:been doing way more, and they're more compassionate, and then
Unknown:more present, and they're just overall a better person. And I'm
Unknown:just the worst person and to just watch these thoughts in the
Unknown:future. And to know that your mind is very capable to create
Unknown:Hell on Earth. But you don't have to believe it, you don't
Unknown:have to go after it. You can observe it. And maybe at the
Unknown:beginning, not snap your snap self right out of it, but kind
Unknown:of slowly navigate out of the situation. Because now you're
Unknown:becoming more aware of what's going on, you know, now that
Unknown:your minds default, is to go into a negative place of
Unknown:comparison and insecurity and self doubt. And that it's
Unknown:perfectly fine. But you don't have to believe it, you can
Unknown:watch it. And the more you manage to watch it and not hook
Unknown:into it, the more you can detach from it, dis identify from it
Unknown:and know that your mind is just trying to protect you. And it's
Unknown:not serving you in a way that suits you right now. And you
Unknown:will focus it in on your breath, you can go for a walk and just
Unknown:deeply tune into your environment. Or you can just
Unknown:change the subject or do something else. Or spoil
Unknown:yourself to a hot bath, a nice meal, would talk to a friend
Unknown:about it and maybe joke about it and see that hey, your monkey
Unknown:mind is,
Unknown:you know, on this weird path, downward spiral,
Unknown:and once again, and you're just trying to not hook into it. Like
Unknown:the more we
Unknown:are transparent about these things with the people we love,
Unknown:the more we can connect to them and they might share with you
Unknown:like here. Awesome. For me. I had a day like this yesterday,
Unknown:and I felt like shit. Especially when you are a parent when you
Unknown:are a business owner when you are a single and you hate being
Unknown:single when you are in a relationship and you're just so
Unknown:frustrated about certain things that are not going well. The
Unknown:more we can talk about it and be transparent about it and just
Unknown:human about it, the easier things will get and the less
Unknown:charge things will have and drain our energies and just
Unknown:Yeah, make us feel weird and lonely. So yeah, your mind is
Unknown:beautiful. Your mind is a mystery and your mind is not
Unknown:always your friend. And that's perfectly fine. We can become
Unknown:the observer of our thoughts of our mind. And just know that
Unknown:thoughts will pass by like clouds and we don't have to jump
Unknown:on to Every cloud that applause
Unknown:passes by, and believe it, we can question it or we can just
Unknown:altogether drop it and not hook into it at all. All right, this
Unknown:is my episode for you. I hope I didn't. Yeah. Just scream your
Unknown:ear off.
Unknown:take really good care of yourself.
Unknown:If I can help you in any way when it comes to coaching if you
Unknown:want to meet in person, if you want to have an experience
Unknown:together when it comes to intimacy and deepening your
Unknown:connection with other people in yourself, reach out to me. I'm
Unknown:very excited to work with you and take really good care of
Unknown:yourself. Until next time, Bye
