Ep. 29 Guilt .. Feelings preventing you from a happy life

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Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

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your host Aurora, and I'm very happy to be spending some time

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with you today. I hope you're doing well. If you're not doing

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well, I hope I can bring you some hope and peace and self

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reflection into your life. Today I want to talk about guilt,

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feeling guilty. Other people might call you guilty of doing

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something, or you might have done something that you still

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feel guilt for. It is right after shame, the lowest energy,

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the lowest emotion that you can feel it's an emotion of close to

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being self destructive. It is a feeling that we fear and want to

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avoid at all costs. Because if society rejects us, we're not

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only in deep pain and isolation, but our survival is being

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threatened. You have to know that our body the way our body

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is, producing emotions, our environment as producing

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emotions, is still strongly tied to our hunters and gatherers

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time. Many, many years back, and it will take a long time for us

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to adapt what is going on around us right now. We don't feel the

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saber tooth, tiger and Tiger anymore. We fear stress,

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financial stress, not being able to keep up not being able to

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belong. But when it comes to shame and guilt, we fall back

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into the hunters and gatherers time and we feel deeply

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threatened with your deep guilt for things that we have done

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that are not okay, by society's norms. And sometimes, even if

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you've gone through a procedure if people have forgiven you, and

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the government is off your back and you're free again, for

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whatever reason for whichever punishment was was used. You

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still feel and live with that guilt. And it is especially

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intense with people who were never able to How can you say

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that angers make it up to the victim. They, they there's done

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something really horrible, really bad. And they never

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apologize, they never talked about it. It was not talked

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about because the other people were scared of you or so

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uncomfortable or they just cut you out of their life. And yeah,

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it was never talked about. But those feelings stay inside of

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your chest. Excuse me. And it is a feeling that if you imagine

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sitting in a crowded place and having a glass, a glass door and

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glass windows around you. It is invisible to others. And others

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feel like they can't really reach into you and be close to

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you. And for you you feel like sitting in a glass house and not

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being able to be heard properly and not being able to connect

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deeply. Because that deep shame that deep guilt is making you

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want to isolate because you feel you're not good, you're not

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worthy. So a lot of times with people will feel extreme guilt

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or shame for past things that happened as they have done they

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overcompensate. They become super humans, flawless humans.

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Very strong minded humans because they want to live in

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denial of what happened back then they don't want to show any

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vulnerability and they want to be seen as good Good

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at all cost.

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Because they know they've done something in the past that what

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made them deserving of being excluded of society. But now

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they're overcompensating, they're being so good that Who

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would ever judge them of being a bad person. And it is that deep

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feeling of unworthiness that is driving them. And that is making

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them want to be the best, very best version of themselves. At

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the same time, they live in denial of what happened, that

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pain is still lingering inside of their chest, and they can't

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seem to get rid of it.

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It is a

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strong feeling that at the end of the day will not even Yeah,

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leave you until you address it until you speak your truth until

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you authentically express yourself of what was going on

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when it happened. And when you see that people are so willing

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to forgive you, they are so compassionate. And you know,

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they they know that resentment and hate and accusations are not

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going to serve them. So they're going to set them free. And

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maybe that will help you to set yourself free. It is very

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important to see that we have all done something in the past

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that we're not proud of, or maybe maybe even less, that

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we're scared of that we still can't make sense of. But we also

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have to see that we can seek forgiveness, we can seek

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clarity, and we cannot be scared of strong reactions. Yeah, there

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might be strong reactions coming out of you coming out of other

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people. But this is the healing process. This is where you can

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finally move on and be yourself again, where you can fully

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embrace yourself and be proud of yourself and know that you're

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forgiven and know that you're not alone in this. Again, we

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have all done something in the past that we're not proud of.

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And if you are a true loving human being, you will never

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extend those feelings and another, you will never, you

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know unnecessarily make a person feel guilty or shame. If you can

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see that they feel regret, if you can see that. Forgiveness is

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what is going to totally set them free and going to give them

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that possibility to reconnect to their heart again. It is such a

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beautiful thing, to give forgiveness, and to receive

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forgiveness, no doubt, but also to forgive someone else. It has

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nothing to do with power games. It has has nothing to do with

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inferiority and superiority. It is pure love. And both parties

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involved wanting to find peace. Loving resentment is very

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poisonous, and can make you turn into a very miserable person.

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And living in forgiveness will change the way you view the

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world. Literally, you will feel as if you can breathe again, you

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will feel as if you had to hold your breath for so long. And now

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you can finally breathe again and feel free again. But

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forgiveness cannot only come from the outside, it has to come

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from the inside as well. It has to come from both sides. You

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have to forgive yourself internally and stop running away

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from it stop overcompensating for it. And you have to have the

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balls to ask for forgiveness as well. You know, I just had to

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step stop and think for a moment here and now in Canada very

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nasty things are coming up. Things that nobody wants to look

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at because they're just so nasty. One grave after the other

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over 1500 children's skeletons are being found and a very dirty

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history. is being underdog and when I look at the native

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community, indigenous people here are leaving living sorry,

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and deep regret and deep sadness and maybe even a little bit of

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fear still. And whenever I talk to people from the indigenous

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I,

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I see no anger, I see no resentment, I just see deep

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healing, wanting the deep healing and wanting to

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understand and wanting to be sure that this is not going to

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be repeated, wanting to know that they are saved now and that

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we stick together now. And this is so incredibly touching and

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beautiful. And this is how we have to see it. A lot of people

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think that, oh, I've done something bad and now I have to

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run away from it. I have to like protect myself and defend myself

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and be ready to attack because the other person is gonna attack

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me. And make me feel shame. The lowest energy that there is an

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killed the second lowest energy that there is. But you have to

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trust that intelligent human beings, healthy human beings,

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human beings want to get their forgiveness out there as soon as

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possible and want to find solutions with you together and

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want to trust you again, on deep levels, and want to build strong

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communities with you again.

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So I hope that if you feel guilt, and shame that you will

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find ways to rid yourself of these feelings and to open up

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and to show regret and to show compassion and to not fear that

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you will be punished to know that you can trust. Thank you so

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much for listening to today's episode, I'm sending my love out

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to you. And I hope you know that. Yes, I'm one person who

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shows the mirror right up to you and makes you see the things

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that you don't want to see. But it will help you to step

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forward, to move on to forgive and to get rid of your regrets

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and your fear and to live in love again. If you liked this

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podcast, make sure to subscribe. And if you really liked my

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podcast, give me a five star review and rating on Apple

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podcast. It would mean the world Thank you so much.