Ep. 20 Where did your unconscious choices get you? [self-awareness]

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Hello, and welcome

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to the Borealis experience. I'm your host Aurora, and I'm very

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happy to be spending some time with you today. I hope you're

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doing well. Hard as in a warm place, your mind is free and at

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peace. And if you feel troubled, if you don't feel very inspired

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at the moment, then I hope I can bring me some inspiration and

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motivation until the day

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divorce, bankruptcy those are very tough situations to be in.

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And I'm sure if you went through it, you didn't plan

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on it. Same goes for feeling depressed, fighting depression,

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or struggling with overweight, you didn't make the conscious

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decision to become overweight or depressed. What I want to talk

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about today is that those are four very intense situations

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that we can all find ourselves in head times are not conscious

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decisions that we make. But it is little unconscious steps that

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we must have taken in order to find ourselves in those

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situations. So I want to encourage you today to feel and

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to be 100% responsible for your situation. And I want to provide

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you with tools on how you can untangle yourself again in if

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you haven't subscribed to this podcast yet, please do. And also

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make sure to leave me a review

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on Apple

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podcast.

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Now,

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let's look at weight gain. Maybe you were a super sporty person

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back in the day, maybe you got injured, and then afterwards,

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everything was different. Maybe you never were really sporty.

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But you never had troubles with your white. And maybe you've

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always been a little bit overweight, but not to an

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unhealthy extent. So where did it all start?

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Where did you start losing track? Where did you actions

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started become unconscious. And if you have listened to my

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podcast in the last couple of months, you know I'm all about

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making you reflect making you see things that we might have

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been running away from in order to feel safe and better. But

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you're gonna hit a wall at some point that's going to be

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illness, bankruptcy, depression, divorce, if you keep being

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unconscious. And this podcast is all about reconnecting with

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yourself and knowing yourself. And once you do know yourself,

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you will make better decisions, conscious decisions. So when it

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comes to weight gain, I've just read that wonderful book, the

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compound effect, I'm going to put it in the show notes. It is

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very important that you track what you put into your body. So

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you have a little notebook and you write everything down that

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you put into your mouth. I met a baker couple years back and he

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was struggling with over weight and he went on a holiday or We

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haven't seen each other in two months and then he comes back

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and looked completely different. What had He done, he had put in

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a jar, every little bite every little snag every little thing

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that he would, in the past unconsciously throw into his

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system. So candy, and pretzels, and all kinds of snacks. At the

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end of the day, were landing in that

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jar.

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And that night when he was done with his job in the bakery, he

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took that jar back home, and continued putting into that jar,

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what he would usually put into his mouth when he got home after

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a stressful day. And just before bedtime, he was so discussed, he

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was so john, with unconscious eating that from one day to the

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other, he was able to change his eating habits, instead of

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snacking all day long, he started drinking more.

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And he also felt more energetic, drinking more water and snacking

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less. So he started feeling like he wanted to go for a walk, or a

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little jog after work. And he kept those good little habits

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for a good two months. And there was a big change happening not

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only on a physical level, but on a mental and emotional level as

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well. So I think a lot of times we think, Oh my god, like it

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took us so long to get to bankruptcy to the wars, weight

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gain, it's gonna take just as long to get out of this, and

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it's gonna be so painful. But this is just a believe that you

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have to get rid of those little baby steps that you can take

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from today on can help you so much to make you feel empowered

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and good about yourself instantly again, when it comes

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to money, what decisions do you make when it comes to money? Do

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you have money aside? Do you have money invested? Do you know

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how you spend your money on a daily basis. And there again,

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it's very important to track if you want to change something.

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Because the awareness of how you spent how you consume is gonna

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make you change your behavior already. In this little book,

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the compound effect, he talks about how a $4 Coffee consumed

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daily will amount to I think it was $50,000 over 20 years. And

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yeah, maybe you can say no, yeah, but it's just three

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coffees a week. And it's not every week. But just think about

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those little amounts will add up and will result in a huge sum at

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some point.

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And is that really how you want to spend your money? Or would

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you rather take the 50,000 bucks

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and invest them and let them work to make him money. So it's

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just a, like a sod game that I'm doing here with you, you will

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pick whatever you want to change in your life and track your

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behavior around it. And you will see results within a couple

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maybe even days but surely certainly within a couple of

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weeks of consciously making decisions around that habit. So

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when it comes to money, track everything you spend on how you

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spend it. And really think about is that the expense I want to

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make? Or because we all keep saying oh yeah, I don't have

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enough money to save. Can I start putting aside five bucks a

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week 10 bucks a week and that will compound in one day. You

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We'll have 1000 bucks with, then you can invest. So it's just

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about changing habits and baby steps. And then at the end of

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the day, seeing big results, I had that wonderful interview

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with Dr. Q pala Singh here the other day. And he said, it's not

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about making drastic changes from one day to the other. Just

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think about sitting in a car behind the steering wheel. And

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if you only turn that wheel a little bit to the left, then you

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will go to the left side, at some point, it's not about

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abruptly turning the wheel to the left. That's a dangerous

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thing to do. And most people faceplant, when they change

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habits to radically, but if you incrementally change your

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habits, for the better, you will see big changes in the future.

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Same goes with weight loss. And same goes with romantic

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relationships. I'm sure you didn't want that divorce to

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happen. I'm sure you didn't want to fight with your spouse. But

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now you're sitting there and everything went sideways, and

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divorce is being filed and depression is kicking in. You

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can make conscious decision decisions when it comes to your

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relationships, you can track your thoughts and your

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intentions you have when you interact with your spouse. Are

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you approaching an argument with the intention to resolve and

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afterwards nurture your relationship again? Or is it all

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about power and being right? Because we all know the sweat is

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destroying relationships on a daily is when we cling to our

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beliefs, our egos and don't give the other person any room to

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express themselves or be themselves? And then you can

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track with your little notepad on what are your thoughts when

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you when you look at your spouse, when you think of your

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spouse? are you grateful for them? Are you appreciative? And

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if not, and if you have it all written down as you're not

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appreciative, you are annoyed, you feel insecure. Things are

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bad, then you can start and make little changes, you can start

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and focus on what are you grateful for? What is it that

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made you fall in love with him or her back then? What is it

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that you know you could be better at but you just got lazy?

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What is it that you feel could spark your relationship again?

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What is it that you want from your partner? And if it is

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attention and if it is appreciation, if it is respect,

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start being

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that partner be the partner you want to have as a partner.

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Because wanting something from the other is always very, very

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easy and to make the other person feel when not enough.

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They're not doing enough. They're not invested enough. But

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if you really listen to yourself and watch yourself, I want you

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to ask yourself, do you really give 100%? Or did you get lazy

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over the years. And if you make those little changes, if you

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start listening more to your partner, if you start being a

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little more curious about how their day was and how their

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friends are doing on how they are feeling with the current

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situation. You will see how much a relationship can change within

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just a couple conversations. Within a couple of weeks or

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months, sometimes we get lazy and there's nothing wrong with

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that. It's all about being aware of it. And then making little

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changes again to to get to a better place to be a more in

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depth person and to reflect about the things that you have

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done wrong, maybe. So, I hope this little episode helped you

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to be aware of the things that you can change in the future, to

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feel better with yourself to feel more empowered and

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encouraged. And I'm so curious to know more about your

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thoughts. So you can always leave me a review on Apple

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podcast, you can always shoot me a message on Facebook. And

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yeah,

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I'd be delighted to hear your thoughts. Maybe you have

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questions and we can discuss further. Thank you so much for

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listening to the Borealis experience. Until next time, bye