Ep. 19 Surrendering to a couple really good questions [with Co Host Troy Vincent ]

Unknown: 00:00:00

All right, hello. Hello. Hello, hello, Aurora

Unknown: 00:00:10

fans. This is the Borealis experience with me your guest

Unknown: 00:00:14

host. I am Troy. Vincent. I know that's extremely disappointing.

Unknown: 00:00:19

And to make it up to you completely. I have as my guest

Unknown: 00:00:24

here this week. Her name is Aurora. Welcome to the program,

Unknown: 00:00:27

Aurora.

Unknown: 00:00:29

What a nice introduction. Thank you so much Troy. And yeah, I'm

Unknown: 00:00:34

very excited to be spending some time with you today and to, to

Unknown: 00:00:38

hopefully answer all your questions that you have. And to

Unknown: 00:00:43

Yeah, have a good conversation flowing.

Unknown: 00:00:47

Good, good. This idea came about last time when we spoke when you

Unknown: 00:00:52

had me as a guest. And I'm not used to being a guest. I don't

Unknown: 00:00:56

usually talk about myself a lot. I spent 23 years in radio. So I

Unknown: 00:01:01

like being the host. And I like learning about other people. So

Unknown: 00:01:05

thank you for this opportunity to be hosting your podcast. I

Unknown: 00:01:08

appreciate you.

Unknown: 00:01:09

Oh, yes, yes. And I know I will learn lots from a pro when it

Unknown: 00:01:15

comes to interviews and how to Yeah, formulate questions, how

Unknown: 00:01:22

to get the person to say everything that you want to know

Unknown: 00:01:25

about them. And yeah, I love being in the hot seat.

Unknown: 00:01:31

Okay, let's put you in the hot seat. You ready?

Unknown: 00:01:33

Yeah. I'm so ready. Here's your

Unknown: 00:01:36

first first tip. I have five big questions for you Aurora. Oh my

Unknown: 00:01:41

god. I have to answer them. All right. Yes or no? Are the

Unknown: 00:01:48

Bengals winning the Super Bowl on Sunday?

Unknown: 00:01:52

It's gonna be a very tight game. I'm absolutely not interested in

Unknown: 00:01:59

Super Bowl. Football at all. I know. A lot of followers now. My

Unknown: 00:02:05

sport that I follow is soccer. So I'm very excited that Senegal

Unknown: 00:02:11

made it into the into the Yeah. Soccer. How do you say the World

Unknown: 00:02:19

Cup? What kind of cup is coming up here soon

Unknown: 00:02:23

to Lhasa. So that's all I'm familiar with when it comes to

Unknown: 00:02:26

soccer.

Unknown: 00:02:27

All right. Well, you see there is no compatibility here when it

Unknown: 00:02:31

comes to sports. That's

Unknown: 00:02:35

the question was yes or no. And you have yet to say either one.

Unknown: 00:02:40

I will say no.

Unknown: 00:02:42

Okay. Yes or No? Should I invest in crypto?

Unknown: 00:02:47

Ha. That's a good question as well, my friend. He really made

Unknown: 00:02:53

me sweat here. I would say yes. Try it out. Don't go all in but

Unknown: 00:03:01

try it out and see what happens. Yeah, and inform yourself from

Unknown: 00:03:09

the from the investment sharks out there. I'm not I'm not there

Unknown: 00:03:13

yet. I'm still a little dolphin in a shark tank and don't really

Unknown: 00:03:17

know what I'm doing when it comes to investing. But I'm

Unknown: 00:03:19

learning

Unknown: 00:03:22

from Shark Tank. I like that. Yeah. Question number three. Yes

Unknown: 00:03:27

or no? Can you make the wind stop?

Unknown: 00:03:31

Absolutely, yes. If we keep spending time indoors. Before we

Unknown: 00:03:39

can go into the basement. Its theme today. I mean, for people

Unknown: 00:03:44

who don't know southern Alberta. Yeah, it yesterday nearly

Unknown: 00:03:48

knocked me off my feet. We went for a hike and it was very

Unknown: 00:03:53

intense. The good thing about is that you don't need a hairdryer.

Unknown: 00:03:57

I get to dry my long hair in the wind. Within five minutes. It's

Unknown: 00:04:04

dry. And that's super convenient.

Unknown: 00:04:07

So nice. Yeah, Mother Nature. Yeah. Yes or no? Do you already

Unknown: 00:04:12

regret me hosting the show? A little

Unknown: 00:04:15

bit? Absolutely. I had a shower this morning. And I'm sweating.

Unknown: 00:04:20

Like, as if I was hiking a steep mountain. And I don't know

Unknown: 00:04:24

what's happening and how this is gonna go. But I stay connected.

Unknown: 00:04:33

Big Question. Yes or no? Are you ready for an actual real

Unknown: 00:04:36

conversation?

Unknown: 00:04:38

I am. I always yes, good.

Unknown: 00:04:43

Thank you for playing with me in that little quiz there. There's

Unknown: 00:04:47

a little technique for you know, I would do back on my radio

Unknown: 00:04:50

show. I found that some people would be a lot really, like

Unknown: 00:04:53

really nervous hopping on the radio. And so I would just ask

Unknown: 00:04:57

them some goofy questions just to loosen them up. Oh, I just

Unknown: 00:05:00

settled.

Unknown: 00:05:01

I love that so much. I love that so much. And I feel you should

Unknown: 00:05:05

do that with your coaching clients as well.

Unknown: 00:05:09

That's right. So one of my favorite things to do Aurora is

Unknown: 00:05:14

to learn about others. And so thank you for this opportunity

Unknown: 00:05:17

to learn more about you. You are a fellow coach, and I love

Unknown: 00:05:23

meeting a whole bunch of different coaches and finding

Unknown: 00:05:25

out what was the inspiration for becoming a coach and going down

Unknown: 00:05:29

that path. So share that story with with me and your audience.

Unknown: 00:05:34

That's such a beautiful question. And I feel so honored

Unknown: 00:05:37

to to be a fellow coach of yours because I know we'll learn a lot

Unknown: 00:05:42

from each other along the lines. I think like going back in time,

Unknown: 00:05:49

I was always a very introverted, observant child. And I was

Unknown: 00:05:57

always trying to make sense of people like why they behave a

Unknown: 00:06:01

certain way. Why people are so different when it comes to

Unknown: 00:06:07

opinions. And yeah, what what it is to be a human being why there

Unknown: 00:06:16

is bullying, like I got bullied lots at school, and I could

Unknown: 00:06:19

never make sense of it. Because I was never harming anyone. yet.

Unknown: 00:06:24

I was deeply triggering something in people I was always

Unknown: 00:06:27

the youngest, I was always more on the naive side. And some

Unknown: 00:06:32

people just thought that's fun to, to torture and to hurt. And

Unknown: 00:06:38

so I grew up thinking that I was really weird, and that I had to

Unknown: 00:06:42

change and that I Yeah, was not in the right place at the right

Unknown: 00:06:48

time ever. And it made Yeah, it was it was lots of struggles,

Unknown: 00:06:54

yet I was a happy and smooth child. So to say I was never

Unknown: 00:07:00

rebellious. I always sat down the pain. And I want to say in

Unknown: 00:07:08

my 20s and my 30s It caught up with me. Depression, started

Unknown: 00:07:14

kicking in anxiety. I always had a deep, deep sense of empathy

Unknown: 00:07:22

and wanting to heal people. So I became a physiotherapist. And

Unknown: 00:07:29

that helped me to to regain confidence and to find out okay,

Unknown: 00:07:35

I actually have a place in this world, I can help people. Also,

Unknown: 00:07:41

I want to mention that at a very young age. My parents, yes

Unknown: 00:07:45

struggle like young some young parents do. And I learned early

Unknown: 00:07:51

on that I have the power to make people feel better and happy.

Unknown: 00:07:57

Sometimes also wanting to be the clown right to act and to, to do

Unknown: 00:08:03

something that makes people laugh and lighten up a

Unknown: 00:08:06

situation. So that and finding out that I have healing powers

Unknown: 00:08:14

that I can help people as a physiotherapist helped me regain

Unknown: 00:08:19

a sense of self. But after a couple of years of working in

Unknown: 00:08:24

that field, I realized that I learned everything about the

Unknown: 00:08:29

body I'm I'm a total, yeah, physiology and anatomy nerd and

Unknown: 00:08:35

love to help heal the body. But there was some clients that were

Unknown: 00:08:43

not getting better at the speed I wanted or expected them to.

Unknown: 00:08:47

And I found out that it was their mind that was not in a

Unknown: 00:08:52

good place. And I didn't have the tools on how to help them.

Unknown: 00:08:57

So I started really burning myself out and being that little

Unknown: 00:09:01

clown that I used to be as a kid. But it wouldn't make them

Unknown: 00:09:05

feel better. It would make them laugh or make them feel good but

Unknown: 00:09:09

they wouldn't heal on a deeper level. And then also dealing

Unknown: 00:09:16

with my depression and anxiety I started becoming interested in

Unknown: 00:09:22

psychology and self help self empowerment, and I knew I didn't

Unknown: 00:09:26

want to go back to school and learn, like become a

Unknown: 00:09:29

psychotherapist. But I found out that there's Yeah, you can

Unknown: 00:09:35

become a coach if you hadn't become a counselor. And with the

Unknown: 00:09:41

experiences that I had from the past, it would give me Yeah, I

Unknown: 00:09:47

don't want to say an advantage but it would give me tools in

Unknown: 00:09:52

order to being able to relate to people who are in pain. So I

Unknown: 00:10:00

bought a bunch of books, I did a bunch of courses. And then yeah,

Unknown: 00:10:06

started to learn so much about the mind and how we can change

Unknown: 00:10:12

the neuroplasticity the way we view things for the longest

Unknown: 00:10:17

time, and then learn to see them in a different way. And now

Unknown: 00:10:23

working as a personal trainer and life coach, I can finally

Unknown: 00:10:29

help the people with physical ailments to also heal in the

Unknown: 00:10:33

mind and to do become more empowered than or more

Unknown: 00:10:41

themselves and who they were before the accident or before

Unknown: 00:10:46

the body got sick. And that's so incredibly rewarding. And I heal

Unknown: 00:10:53

at the same time as well. Because more and more I know,

Unknown: 00:10:57

okay, this is my place. This is how I can serve people. This is

Unknown: 00:11:02

how I'm not going to burn myself out. And this is how I can have

Unknown: 00:11:07

incredible conversations and connections with people. That

Unknown: 00:11:11

was a very long answer.

Unknown: 00:11:14

Beautiful one. Great, great, you just answered like for my next

Unknown: 00:11:19

questions. Oh, it's perfect. Easier, you make my job, I'm

Unknown: 00:11:24

happy. So thank you for that. So who is your favorite client

Unknown: 00:11:31

ever? And who's your least favorite client ever? Hmm. Let

Unknown: 00:11:39

me think about that.

Unknown: 00:11:42

My, my most favorite client is a person who is genuinely

Unknown: 00:11:52

interested in healing and moving forward and curious about his or

Unknown: 00:11:59

her body. I feel all too often we just, yeah, drag our body

Unknown: 00:12:06

along and odd and it gets sick. And now we have to take care of

Unknown: 00:12:10

a body. Like someone who maybe a little bit at the start is

Unknown: 00:12:15

neglecting the body and then through the coaching realizes,

Unknown: 00:12:21

oh my god, like my body is my best friend. And if I don't take

Unknown: 00:12:25

care of my body, then yeah, I'm not going to be here for long or

Unknown: 00:12:30

be enjoying life for as long as possible. So people was a little

Unknown: 00:12:37

bit of resistance, but then kind of I managed to, to melt them

Unknown: 00:12:42

down and in a good way and to make them appreciate what they

Unknown: 00:12:47

have. My least favorite client is is a person who cannot

Unknown: 00:12:58

surrender to to the healing journey. A person who has to

Unknown: 00:13:06

analyze everything who has to control everything and who has

Unknown: 00:13:10

to be on top of everything at all times and brings the tension

Unknown: 00:13:17

into the session the not wanting to let go of rationality and

Unknown: 00:13:27

dropping into the heart a person who Yeah, it's not and then

Unknown: 00:13:35

again, I mean a good coach can can melt these people down and

Unknown: 00:13:41

make them surrender but some people are too stuck in their

Unknown: 00:13:45

ways. And and don't ya want to open up and don't want to really

Unknown: 00:13:53

heal, there's like a secondary gain that is way stronger than

Unknown: 00:14:00

wanting to heal because they get attention from people or they

Unknown: 00:14:03

don't have to go to that shitty job again. So me as a coach, I

Unknown: 00:14:09

will have a very hard time to to try and conquer that secondary

Unknown: 00:14:15

gain way of viewing things and it's yeah, that's those are the

Unknown: 00:14:25

very challenging people to

Unknown: 00:14:27

coach people who remain guarded. Yeah, and tune into the primal

Unknown: 00:14:37

part of their brain and don't want to change their identity or

Unknown: 00:14:40

behavior or belief or anything like that.

Unknown: 00:14:42

Yeah, I think we're all guarded to some degree and a good coach

Unknown: 00:14:46

can can Yeah, help people to relax and open up over time. Not

Unknown: 00:14:52

in the first session. I get that. But yeah, people who who

Unknown: 00:14:57

come to a coach coaching session because spouse sent them or the

Unknown: 00:15:01

parents sent them. Like that's always? Yeah.

Unknown: 00:15:06

Not always the toughest. Yeah. If you don't want to change for

Unknown: 00:15:10

yourself, and you're not going to exam I found anyway. No, it's

Unknown: 00:15:15

really, really tough. You need to be motivated by yourself.

Unknown: 00:15:20

Yeah. Share a coaching breakthrough that you have

Unknown: 00:15:27

experienced as a client, because I know that you have a coach,

Unknown: 00:15:32

all coaches have coaches, because we know how valuable it

Unknown: 00:15:34

is so deep into the, into the recesses of your brain, what is

Unknown: 00:15:42

something that you can share as a breakthrough that you've

Unknown: 00:15:44

experienced?

Unknown: 00:15:45

Hmm, that's such a good question. I shared on Facebook

Unknown: 00:15:51

the other day that when I was fighting depression, and deep

Unknown: 00:15:56

self doubt, and heartbreak, I went, I like came up with the

Unknown: 00:16:02

courage finally, to go and see a psychotherapist. And the message

Unknown: 00:16:07

that I got from her. And now looking back, I understand how

Unknown: 00:16:11

she meant it. But back then it was like, man, girl, you got to

Unknown: 00:16:15

toughen up, like, Yeah, this is not how you can live your life.

Unknown: 00:16:19

And you got to let go of that pain now and move on. And I went

Unknown: 00:16:24

home and I just thought, Man, That Woman is not getting me

Unknown: 00:16:28

like, I need different kinds of help. And it was two people that

Unknown: 00:16:32

I visited and two people who really made me feel worse

Unknown: 00:16:36

afterwards. And then a five years went without five years. I

Unknown: 00:16:41

just pretended everything was good and overcompensated with

Unknown: 00:16:45

exercising and stuff. And then I met this guy from from back in

Unknown: 00:16:50

the day, we reconnected over Facebook, and he was doing his

Unknown: 00:16:53

coaching training and offered coaching sessions. And with him,

Unknown: 00:16:59

it was so incredible. Like he asked me questions that never,

Unknown: 00:17:03

ever anybody asked me. And I talked about my pain and my, my

Unknown: 00:17:13

Yeah, trauma that I went through, it's 21 being raped.

Unknown: 00:17:19

And I still explained that very, like vividly as if the pain was

Unknown: 00:17:24

still there. And he asked me, Aurora, like, where are you

Unknown: 00:17:29

right now? And I said, I'm in Canada, I'm studying agriculture

Unknown: 00:17:33

at the college. And yeah, I'm gonna go for a walk here. After

Unknown: 00:17:38

the call. He's like, are you? Like, do you still feel that

Unknown: 00:17:43

pain from Maxon? And I said, no, like, everything healed, and my

Unknown: 00:17:49

body is pretty much normal. Like, do you still feel like the

Unknown: 00:17:56

grip of the person and the violence? And I said, no, like,

Unknown: 00:18:01

I still have the pictures in my mind. But no, I feel well. And

Unknown: 00:18:06

he went further and further and made me realize, okay, this is

Unknown: 00:18:11

something that happened. But I don't have to identify with

Unknown: 00:18:15

this. Like for years, I was walking around like a victim

Unknown: 00:18:20

being scared of man hating men rejecting men that were actually

Unknown: 00:18:25

nice to me. And he made me realize, hey, you still live in

Unknown: 00:18:30

that victim mentality. And I want you to pull yourself out of

Unknown: 00:18:37

this. Like you're not that victim anymore. Yes, this

Unknown: 00:18:40

happened. But if you keep at identifying with what happened,

Unknown: 00:18:45

you're going to be a weak person for the rest of your life. Like

Unknown: 00:18:51

you you will not be able to live up to your potential because you

Unknown: 00:18:54

think you're not deserving you think you are a constant victim

Unknown: 00:18:58

and men are bad. That's not gonna serve you on your journey.

Unknown: 00:19:03

So let's please work on letting go of that identity. And that

Unknown: 00:19:09

was like such a mind opener and heart opener and a huge

Unknown: 00:19:15

breakthrough for me as six six years ago, I was now

Unknown: 00:19:22

nice congratulations on making that transition. That is a tough

Unknown: 00:19:26

one. What was it like when he stated like you're in a victim

Unknown: 00:19:32

mindset you have a victim mentality How did you initially

Unknown: 00:19:36

react to that were you open up to it to analyze it or it was a

Unknown: 00:19:39

part of your brain kind of rejecting it right away like got

Unknown: 00:19:42

defensive?

Unknown: 00:19:43

Yeah. Yeah, of course. Cuz I think the reason why is that my

Unknown: 00:19:51

ego my mind wants to protect me to not go through that pain

Unknown: 00:19:56

again. So my thinking subconsciously was If I cling to

Unknown: 00:20:01

that victim mentality, then this will never happen to me again,

Unknown: 00:20:05

because this is how I protect myself. But at the same time

Unknown: 00:20:09

what I was doing, I was closing myself up to beautiful

Unknown: 00:20:12

experiences, and to, to feel myself and empowered again. So

Unknown: 00:20:19

yeah, when he said, Hey, we're gonna learn to let go of this

Unknown: 00:20:21

now. I was like, I get what you're saying. But a lot of, of

Unknown: 00:20:30

me is still clinging to that. And that made me realize how

Unknown: 00:20:34

much that thing, that identity had me under control. And after

Unknown: 00:20:44

we hung up, I was like, okay, but I don't want that I get what

Unknown: 00:20:47

he's saying. And I'm gonna work on it. And I'm gonna let go of

Unknown: 00:20:51

it. So yeah, there was instant resistance. And then it made

Unknown: 00:20:57

sense. And I allowed, I allowed him to, yeah, work on me and,

Unknown: 00:21:03

and I was able to liberate myself.

Unknown: 00:21:08

Nice, liberating yourself as good, so good. For those who may

Unknown: 00:21:14

be watching and listening, and as they sit there and explore

Unknown: 00:21:19

themselves, they may at some point discover they're in a

Unknown: 00:21:22

victim mindset. What advice would you have for those people?

Unknown: 00:21:32

I would say that it's, it's perfectly normal and perfectly

Unknown: 00:21:36

natural, to be in the victim mentality and to feel like a

Unknown: 00:21:41

victim. Because it is intense pain and trauma that you went

Unknown: 00:21:46

through. But do you want this one thing, or those couple of

Unknown: 00:21:52

things that happen to you, like, decide how happy and content you

Unknown: 00:21:58

are in the future? Do you want that, to hold you back? And and

Unknown: 00:22:05

not believe in yourself as much as you could? And can you see,

Unknown: 00:22:14

like, it sounds so silly. But every situation as shady as it

Unknown: 00:22:18

was, there was something that also happened at the same time.

Unknown: 00:22:26

That is good, that you've learned a lesson that you've

Unknown: 00:22:31

learned, or, you know, how to say a light bulb that that

Unknown: 00:22:40

suddenly, you know, how do you say that in the comic book when

Unknown: 00:22:43

you suddenly have an idea? So yeah, yeah, like, for instance,

Unknown: 00:22:50

going back to, to my my story. Of course, when you hear being

Unknown: 00:22:56

raped, nothing can be good about this. Absolutely nothing,

Unknown: 00:23:00

everything is horrifying about it. But when you think about it,

Unknown: 00:23:05

what's the good outcome there is that I realized that I have

Unknown: 00:23:09

absolutely no boundaries. If somebody says Aurora, you need

Unknown: 00:23:13

to do this and that for me, or Aurora, we're going to do this

Unknown: 00:23:17

now. And even if my intuition says, No, I will still say yes.

Unknown: 00:23:25

And this is what brought me into that situation. Because I don't

Unknown: 00:23:28

want to hurt people. I don't want to reject people. And

Unknown: 00:23:32

that's something I can work on. So that whole shift situation

Unknown: 00:23:38

made me realize, Oh, my God, I have to learn and communicate

Unknown: 00:23:43

better. I have to stand my ground, I have to have

Unknown: 00:23:47

boundaries, I have to learn to listen to my intuition. And to

Unknown: 00:23:53

focus just on that and to get better, like, every week, like

Unknown: 00:23:58

write down in your journal. Hey, how did you use your intuition

Unknown: 00:24:01

this this week? How did you kindly gracefully set boundaries

Unknown: 00:24:06

this week? And so, so that's, I think, what I want to say about

Unknown: 00:24:14

the victim mentality that, that you can learn something from it

Unknown: 00:24:19

and focus on that and know that you're so much more than the

Unknown: 00:24:25

pain that you went through.

Unknown: 00:24:29

Wow, thank you for sharing that. That was incredible. The think

Unknown: 00:24:36

well, our brain kind of turns on that self defense mechanism

Unknown: 00:24:40

pretty quick when someone will say you're in a victim mindset

Unknown: 00:24:43

because somewhat they they take it as an attack almost psycho,

Unknown: 00:24:48

you're trying to say I'm weak or, and and I think the thing to

Unknown: 00:24:53

keep in mind is just observing, you know, I've been in a victim

Unknown: 00:24:56

mindset before, and I was grateful to come out of it. And

Unknown: 00:25:02

for those who may discover there, just know that there's no

Unknown: 00:25:06

shame in it, like you had mentioned, you know, it's it

Unknown: 00:25:08

happens, it's expected, the brain just goes there. And it

Unknown: 00:25:11

helps protect this, at least in the short term. And that's why

Unknown: 00:25:14

it's doing it. That's why we're in that mindset. It's just

Unknown: 00:25:18

simply recognizing that there's a better way to continue forward

Unknown: 00:25:23

at some point. And thank you, no, thank you brain for even

Unknown: 00:25:27

putting you in that victim mindset because it helped

Unknown: 00:25:29

protect you for a short time, right and, and keep you going

Unknown: 00:25:33

and go, thank you for the job you've done. Now, I'm safe to

Unknown: 00:25:36

move on and do this. And you'll make that shift and you make

Unknown: 00:25:39

that transition. And yeah, no, no need to feel shame or judge

Unknown: 00:25:44

yourself in that moment, if you find yourself in a victim

Unknown: 00:25:46

mindset. So your your next personal growth step, what is

Unknown: 00:25:55

that going to be for you? What obstacles? Are you looking to

Unknown: 00:25:58

overcome Aurora?

Unknown: 00:26:04

That is a very, very good question that's going to bring

Unknown: 00:26:08

out the vulnerable and fully transparent Aurora. I love it. I

Unknown: 00:26:16

would say it's two things, I'm still I still get triggered so

Unknown: 00:26:22

easily. I know when I'm tired when I didn't sleep well, it's

Unknown: 00:26:29

it's more extreme than when I when I had a good night's sleep.

Unknown: 00:26:35

But I have a couple of people in my life that I want to have in

Unknown: 00:26:39

my life that still manage to make me I think in English, you

Unknown: 00:26:47

say make me cave. So I kind of let them push me into a corner.

Unknown: 00:26:55

And they don't really see it realize it until I explode and

Unknown: 00:26:59

to communicate to them early on, hey, you're making me feel

Unknown: 00:27:03

uncomfortable, hey, you can we talk about this, like it was,

Unknown: 00:27:09

you know, like to communicate before I explode with these

Unknown: 00:27:13

people who really know how to push my buttons. That would be

Unknown: 00:27:17

one thing. And the other thing would be to overcome. Like,

Unknown: 00:27:25

still the little bit of disappointment that I feel and

Unknown: 00:27:29

let down that I feel from my family, that they're not fully

Unknown: 00:27:34

supportive of what I'm doing. Like, it's not that I that they

Unknown: 00:27:38

think it's stupid and unnecessary. But to like I

Unknown: 00:27:45

imagined the other day, for instance, if I had a daughter,

Unknown: 00:27:48

and she was trying to build a business, she was trying to

Unknown: 00:27:51

serve people and stuff, my God, I would be excited and tried to

Unknown: 00:27:57

do everything to make her succeed. And what I'm receiving

Unknown: 00:28:02

from my family, I tried to transform into into boosting me

Unknown: 00:28:09

so not to wanting to prove myself to them. But to know that

Unknown: 00:28:13

hey, yeah, I'm alone in this. And I'm going to reach out to

Unknown: 00:28:18

people who want to help me. And my family is there in the

Unknown: 00:28:23

background. And, and not applauding, not cheering, but

Unknown: 00:28:27

that's okay, too. They love me for other things. But I think

Unknown: 00:28:32

it's some people feel that more than others. To me needing a

Unknown: 00:28:38

little bit of approval needing a little bit of hay, you're doing

Unknown: 00:28:42

a good job there. And if it doesn't come from the family,

Unknown: 00:28:47

it's going to come from other people, you don't have to fixate

Unknown: 00:28:52

on certain people, if they don't want to give you that kind of

Unknown: 00:28:55

love or support. They're going to support you in other ways

Unknown: 00:29:00

when you need it. Does that make sense? Or was it a little bit

Unknown: 00:29:05

too much of?

Unknown: 00:29:07

No, no? Yeah, it reminds me of a quote of, I think I'll call it a

Unknown: 00:29:14

paraphrase because I'm not sure if we're gonna get it right. But

Unknown: 00:29:17

it said, Jorge, you know, don't expect people to understand your

Unknown: 00:29:20

dreams. They're for you. It's your dream. And it's okay if

Unknown: 00:29:24

they don't understand it. And sometimes that's really tough to

Unknown: 00:29:28

accept, because you're right, the people that you love, most

Unknown: 00:29:30

are close to you're like, Oh, I'd love to have their support,

Unknown: 00:29:33

because I would support them, whatever they do, you know, and,

Unknown: 00:29:36

and so that can be really tough to understand, but just, you

Unknown: 00:29:40

know, kind of hold on to that and remind yourself that it's

Unknown: 00:29:42

your dream and, you know, it's your vision, they can't see it.

Unknown: 00:29:47

And that's okay. You know, it's okay. have visions for you.

Unknown: 00:29:51

Yeah. And you will find your community of support. And so

Unknown: 00:29:54

that's important too. Yeah. Yeah. What is your what's your

Unknown: 00:29:59

biggest fear

Unknown: 00:30:04

My biggest fear is the death of a loved one. Yeah, that's, I

Unknown: 00:30:16

mean, I lost my both of my grandmother passed and that is

Unknown: 00:30:23

still hard to grasp. But two, they were getting weaker. They

Unknown: 00:30:29

were sick, you know, you could prepare yourself a little bit.

Unknown: 00:30:35

But people who went through that kind of grief and loss. Like, I

Unknown: 00:30:41

have so much respect for people who lost someone out of nowhere,

Unknown: 00:30:46

like suddenly that is my biggest fear. Physical pain when it

Unknown: 00:30:52

comes to me, but but losing someone that I love. That would

Unknown: 00:30:59

be Yeah. I know it's going to come at some point. I think

Unknown: 00:31:06

everybody goes to that. So yeah, that's something I really, yeah.

Unknown: 00:31:14

Resist. I don't want to experience but I know it's

Unknown: 00:31:22

inevitable. Yeah, that that, yeah, then that comes needing to

Unknown: 00:31:30

accept it. But I think I will have to learn to accept it.

Unknown: 00:31:37

While going through, like, before, I don't even know who it

Unknown: 00:31:41

would be, you know, like, I'm trying not to focus on it and

Unknown: 00:31:47

detach myself from that fear. But yeah, sometimes it creeps

Unknown: 00:31:51

up.

Unknown: 00:31:56

What would it be like to have that release, not hold on to

Unknown: 00:32:01

that fear, to have it revisit you from time to time?

Unknown: 00:32:05

Hmm. That would be like a huge relief. At the same time, I want

Unknown: 00:32:14

to be honest with you, I also use it to love harder, and to

Unknown: 00:32:20

love more fiercely and to be more present. So it's also a

Unknown: 00:32:28

good thing. Like, I from a young age, I thought about that. And

Unknown: 00:32:33

it was always a big fear of mine. And I tried to just make

Unknown: 00:32:39

something good of it. And to Yeah, be less on my phone when

Unknown: 00:32:44

people are around me or wanting to talk to me or you know, make

Unknown: 00:32:50

more goofy lovey dovey things then probably necessary. Yeah,

Unknown: 00:33:01

to also use it as my drive. But yeah, if I could just because if

Unknown: 00:33:07

you say to let go of that fear, then I said, Oh, yeah, but then

Unknown: 00:33:10

I would appreciate people less maybe, and that's not what I

Unknown: 00:33:13

want. That's what I'm using it for?

Unknown: 00:33:18

Well, you make a good point of this is an example of taking an

Unknown: 00:33:23

emotion like fear. And really, emotions are neither negative or

Unknown: 00:33:27

positive. They are what we labeled them and all of them can

Unknown: 00:33:30

be an instrument. And so with this fear creeps up for you, you

Unknown: 00:33:33

step back and go, Oh, what's this? What's this fear of right?

Unknown: 00:33:36

And you can find out the origin of it on, I value these people

Unknown: 00:33:40

in my life. And then your response to that is to make sure

Unknown: 00:33:43

that you're present, make sure that you express your love for

Unknown: 00:33:47

them. And so you turn it into a positive. So I think that's a

Unknown: 00:33:51

good lesson for all of us. You know, when you feel anger, it's

Unknown: 00:33:54

not a negative fear just means okay, this is communicating to

Unknown: 00:33:57

you something. So step back and go, I'm angry right now, what is

Unknown: 00:34:01

this trying to tell me? What can I learn from this? And you'll

Unknown: 00:34:04

you'll find out what that is, and it will help you moving

Unknown: 00:34:06

forward.

Unknown: 00:34:07

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, similar with anxiety. I feel a lot of people

Unknown: 00:34:13

who get nervous and anxious. I had one person telling me yeah,

Unknown: 00:34:18

just just see it as your ignition. You know, when you

Unknown: 00:34:21

turn the key in your car, it has to roar a little bit, and

Unknown: 00:34:26

there's that energy that comes up and just envision it as

Unknown: 00:34:30

something positive and you care about it. And it's, it's good to

Unknown: 00:34:36

have that little bit of anxiety right? Because lots of people

Unknown: 00:34:39

don't want to feel that.

Unknown: 00:34:42

Yes, welcome all your feelings. Don't come try to repress them.

Unknown: 00:34:48

It's not possible anyways.

Unknown: 00:34:50

Do you know that scientifically, an emotion lasts 90 seconds?

Unknown: 00:34:55

That's it. 90 seconds. Holy. On so for when it lasts longer,

Unknown: 00:35:02

it's because we're engaging it right. So, you know, our

Unknown: 00:35:05

thoughts are fueling it. And then that creates more emotion

Unknown: 00:35:07

and emotion creates more thoughts. And it just, the cycle

Unknown: 00:35:10

continues. So when you're in a bad state like that, that's why

Unknown: 00:35:14

it happens. But if you develop the tools to have emotional

Unknown: 00:35:19

resiliency, you know, step back, breathe your way through it.

Unknown: 00:35:23

Calm your mind, calm your body, take care of the physiology, you

Unknown: 00:35:28

can let that wave of emotion, kind of subside and will sustain

Unknown: 00:35:32

and then you can react properly. It's interesting was a long time

Unknown: 00:35:38

ago,

Unknown: 00:35:40

I will have to write that down on a piece of paper, because

Unknown: 00:35:43

I'm, unfortunately, so good to cling on these emotions,

Unknown: 00:35:49

especially when it comes to anger and sadness. And to sit in

Unknown: 00:35:54

there for so long. And too, I'm poisoning myself by doing that.

Unknown: 00:36:00

And I'm, it doesn't serve anybody or anything. And that

Unknown: 00:36:06

was a write that down 90 seconds. Wow.

Unknown: 00:36:12

Cool. And I can relate to what you're saying about, you know,

Unknown: 00:36:16

anger and sadness. Those would be big ones for me. You know, I

Unknown: 00:36:21

could stew in either of those for hours once upon a time. Now,

Unknown: 00:36:26

if it only bothers me for five minutes, I'm like, victory. This

Unknown: 00:36:29

is great. Wow. But yeah, thinking about like 90 seconds.

Unknown: 00:36:34

Wow, I could I can even improve this even more. Yeah, keep

Unknown: 00:36:38

working.

Unknown: 00:36:39

Yeah. That was great advice.

Unknown: 00:36:43

So I would like to wrap up this conversation, Aurora, by you

Unknown: 00:36:47

telling us what's three things you love about your life right

Unknown: 00:36:53

now?

Unknown: 00:36:56

Those are so good. I would say number one, the people I need,

Unknown: 00:37:04

just like you and the conversations I can have. With

Unknown: 00:37:10

technology. I know a lot of people know, we're all addicted

Unknown: 00:37:15

to technology. But yeah. It has such good sides to it. And I

Unknown: 00:37:22

love that that's possible.

Unknown: 00:37:25

So yeah, number one connecting with deep conversations through

Unknown: 00:37:33

deep conversations with people like you living out here in the

Unknown: 00:37:39

forest, in a house with no phone and no internet. And having to

Unknown: 00:37:47

go like having to walk to my Wi Fi station.

Unknown: 00:37:53

Like making a very intentional when I'm going to use my phone

Unknown: 00:37:57

and not and trust me whenever I'm in the real world. I'm I'm

Unknown: 00:38:02

so glued to my phone. And I have to remind myself, what am I

Unknown: 00:38:07

doing here sort of live to live a little bit of bread, but not

Unknown: 00:38:11

totally is also a blessing. And then to have the podcast and the

Unknown: 00:38:21

coaching and to know that I can serve people and yeah, give

Unknown: 00:38:31

people like tools to to make their life a little juicy. Or to

Unknown: 00:38:37

be a little bit more content if it's just 10% you know, just

Unknown: 00:38:42

just have a little bit more confidence in themselves. And

Unknown: 00:38:48

the feedback that I received there is just so yeah, it's so

Unknown: 00:38:55

beautiful and somewhat evading. Yeah, I would say those are the

Unknown: 00:38:59

three things.

Unknown: 00:39:01

That was wonderful. Thank you for sharing that and everything

Unknown: 00:39:04

else here today. You've been an amazing guest

Unknown: 00:39:09

Well, thank you so much for making the time and being my

Unknown: 00:39:12

host and such a good yeah. Interviewer like I love the

Unknown: 00:39:18

questions and we need we need your voice out there again, like

Unknown: 00:39:23

I know you might not go back to radio maybe but I hope beyond

Unknown: 00:39:29

coaching you will be there for people to to listen to you. And

Unknown: 00:39:34

yeah, we stay connected.

Unknown: 00:39:37

Absolutely. Okay, I like that idea. The good news is my time

Unknown: 00:39:43

is done and your regular hosts will return next episode of the

Unknown: 00:39:47

Borealis experience. On behalf of my guest Aurora. I'm Troy

Unknown: 00:39:52

Have a great Day.

Unknown: 00:39:54

Bye Bye. Well, what a great pleasure to Have had Troy asking

Unknown: 00:40:02

me these wonderful questions and to learn from a professional

Unknown: 00:40:07

radio host. You also got the chance to Yeah, learn a little

Unknown: 00:40:12

bit more about my background, my motivation, my intentions. And

Unknown: 00:40:20

yeah, I felt very vulnerable. sharing all this, but it felt

Unknown: 00:40:28

good. I want to feel connected to you. I want to get to know my

Unknown: 00:40:32

listeners better. And when I open up, then I feel Yeah, I'm

Unknown: 00:40:39

doing my part. So thank you so much for listening to this

Unknown: 00:40:43

interview. I deeply appreciate you. And thank you so much to

Unknown: 00:40:49

Troy for making the time incredible person and human

Unknown: 00:40:54

being to have in my life. take really good care of yourself and

Unknown: 00:40:59

we will stay connected and to my listeners. We will connect again

Unknown: 00:41:06

on Thursday. And if you have any questions if there's anything

Unknown: 00:41:09

you want to request, when it comes to episode, topics, please

Unknown: 00:41:15

never hold back. If you want to send me sign of appreciation and

Unknown: 00:41:22

the link below in the show notes. There is the buy me a

Unknown: 00:41:26

coffee link. And yeah, I'm always so excited and grateful

Unknown: 00:41:32

to receive a donation from you guys and girls. This is the way

Unknown: 00:41:38

I can keep this little business going. Thank you so much. And

Unknown: 00:41:43

until next time