Ep. 17 Sharing your dreams and being met with harsh criticism and negativity [society, relationships]

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Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

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your host Aurora. And I'm very happy to be spending some time

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with you today. I want to create a space where you can just

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deeply exhale, and inhale fresh air, where you can recharge your

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batteries, where you can feel safe, where you can be

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authentic, where you can be true to yourself. Today, I want to

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talk about crippling self doubt, and the ongoing negative chatter

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in our minds. Have you ever tried something new? Have you

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ever had a goal, a dream. And just like back then, when you

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had a dream, and you were expressing this to your parents,

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maybe or some Guardian, and your dreams were met with harsh

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judgment, criticism, questioning you questioning your dream, when

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you just feel discouraged and even regret, expressing your

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dreams and your goals. But have you ever noticed that it happens

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inside of us and some of us that we dream something up that we

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have a goal that we maybe want to stop and engage in an

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addiction, or change something in our lives? And then we start

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watching videos, we start talking to people maybe who've

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done in the past and conquered and achieved their goals? You

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kind of uh, yeah. happy, excited human now on this new path. But

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then a couple of days later, a couple moments later, all of a

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sudden, all these questions come up. Why me? Why do I think I

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deserve that change? Why do I think Can I have this in my

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life? What am I thinking to believe that this person would

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ever talk to me? You see, and those thoughts are so incredibly

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destructive. And we don't even know it. Because most of the

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time we believe them. Just like back then with the adults, we

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believe them? And we think yeah, my dream was stupid and silly.

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And what am I even thinking? Let's go back, sorry. And to the

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little box into who I think I have to be and who I think I am.

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And let's not explore who we could be what we could achieve,

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because this is challenging our old belief system. And the

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reason I am talking about this today is because I was on a call

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with my coach. And we are a group of very powerful ladies.

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They're growing together, meeting once a week, doing our

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homework during the week. And today, we all felt like our self

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doubt or self criticism was taking the better of us except

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one, one lady, one lady was above it all and was just flying

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and very inspiring. But the rest of us we were frustrated. We

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kept thinking about the tools that we are given we have

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provided and to put them at work. One of the ladies

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expressed that to live up to her own power now is intimidating

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for her because she would have to leave old belief systems she

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would have to take responsibility. She would be

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very very terrified of failing. She doesn't want to fail. So she

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doesn't want to get out of a box from the start. From the get go.

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This is All super logic, when you observe all this, from your

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mind's perspective, your mind that is being threatened right

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now, you threatened your mind to think differently, to act

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differently to live your life differently. And of course, this

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is going to be met with resistance. Of course, this is

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not going to be a piece of cheesecake. Like I love to say,

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there is some work to put into it, but you have that energy,

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you have that willingness. Don't say it is hard work, and it will

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take you so much effort, because then at the same time, you make

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it sound impossible again. And what I've learned today, from my

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coach and from the other ladies is that we have to trick that

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mind that old mind of ours that we want to overcome that we want

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to put into a corner and turn up the volume of what we want. You

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see, when we have doubts, when we criticize ourselves, we only

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see the negative we only see the worse outcome. We only see the

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dark and the what ifs. And we have to slowly stretch away into

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the Yeah, but what if it is possible? Yeah. And what if I

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reached my goal? Yeah. And what if I overcome my addiction?

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Yeah. What if I learn to set boundaries and only surround

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myself with people that do me good. Observe your mind. Over

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the next couple of hours best would be the next couple of

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days, on how you think about yourself, when you approach a

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task. When you approach a group setting, when you approach, a

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situation that is maybe new to you see what thinking pattern is

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cascading down the drain. What is automatically happening in

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your brain, when you start something new, you know,

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sometimes it goes so far, that when you start a new sport or a

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new activity, that you are being reminded of grade three, when

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that one guy in your class threw the ball at you and you didn't

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catch it fast enough, and your team lost and you were the loser

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of the class. Those little experiences from way back can

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still influence you on how you approach new activities today,

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it is incredible. It is so awesome. Because that system is

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trying to protect you from more failure from more pain. But what

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is it doing also, it is preventing you to grow, to have

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awesome experiences. And to let go of that old belief of

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yourself that you suck at exercising. We have to actively

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notice what is going on in our mind and then start to counter

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it and let go of what is holding us back. I talked to a friend

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today and he said he felt very nostalgic. I know his story a

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little bit and I can't imagine why he's feeling nostalgic. And

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maybe he feels that he has lost something in the past that he

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will never be able to recreate again in the future. But he has

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to believe that it is possible he has to focus on what he

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wants. I want brotherhood. I want a strong circle of men

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around me that make me feel supported. He cannot keep

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running around and say I have no friends. I feel so lonely. All

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men are selfish. All men are aggressive. All men are ego

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driven. Do You see the difference do you hear when I

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say those two different, like when I speak out those two

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different perspectives, how it even feels in your body. I want

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a life where I choose my path, where I feel empowered, where I

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reach my goals, where I connect deeply with people. Instead of

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saying, I feel lonely, I don't have this in my life, I don't

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have that in my life. And my bank account is empty as well.

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Now, we have to train a monkey mind and it is, it is doable,

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you can override those negative thinking patterns and re wire

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your brain. It is training, it will take time. But you will do

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it so well and so gracefully. And you will, in doing so

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inspire people to do the same. We need more of those people out

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there right now, because humanity is facing a huge

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darkness right now. Fear driven media, fear driven, driven

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social media, we're being bombarded with advertisements

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that make us feel inadequate, Instagram, showing us that we're

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not enough and others have at all easy and always better than

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us. We have to be aware of what we consume, what we allow our

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system to believe. And then we have to be very aware about our

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self talk. This is what I'm learning right now. And this is

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what I need you to know, as well, because we're all together

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in this. And I know I share very valuable tools with you to grow

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and to UNdeC yourself and to break free. At the same time, I

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want you to know that it is perfectly normal, to be met with

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your own anxiety, your own self doubt that it is trying to

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convince you to hold back and to stay in the quicksand that you

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found yourself here recently. And it is perfectly normal to

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sometimes believe those thoughts. But what I'm here for

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you to say today is that you are so much more than those negative

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thoughts. You are so much more than your old beliefs. And trust

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me, if you start using these new tools, the self care tools, the

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self empowerment tools, the undid yourself tools, to set

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boundaries with people and be radical with your precious

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quality time with people you love. Then I lost my train of

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thought. No, I think you know what I mean? And it is very

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important to not believe those thoughts, you are not your

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thoughts. You are the entity that is observing those

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thoughts. And that can control. No, I want to believe that I'm

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gonna have a big fat bank account one day, and I'm gonna

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attract possibilities to make it happen. I believe and I know

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that the partner that is meant for me will enter my life soon

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and I will make space for them. I will be the loving, caring,

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exciting person that I can be to attract that wonderful important

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partner into my life. It is so possible and there is no magic

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to it. It is just aligning your stars in aligning your thoughts.

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Thank you so much for listening. This episode was very dear to

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me. Very passionate about this topic, because this is what I'm

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struggling with as well. And at the same time I'm learning to

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overcome self doubt and stuff like that. I want you to have

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access to those same tools and to grow with me if You haven't

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already subscribe to the Borealis Experience podcast. And

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if you want to leave me a tap on the shoulder, a Bravo and

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applaud then please don't hesitate to leave a review on

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Apple Podcast. I'm sending my love out to you I have so much

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respect for you and your journey. Feel free to contact

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me. on Facebook. Aurora Eggert is my name there. And if you

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need a one on one coaching session, if you need a wingwoman

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that accompanies you for a couple of weeks or months, don't

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hold back. I'm a coach, and I'm here to support you and to lift

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you up to your potential. Thank you and bye